amyandjorge

Don't send her any money (or at least a minimal amount) and see how long this lasts.

Yes, going to the gym, beach, and the store are all very high expectations for a wife to have. All this, AND she wanted to pick her own friends while gaining weight?? good lord this woman really wanted it all, didn't she?
Too bad she left, she could have had such a good life taking care of your kids, your house, dealing with your ex wife, and being poor out in the middle of nowhere...
Sorry, you can't expect someone to just make your old life their new life.
Just out curiosity, how did you find out about all of those abuse accusations she made against you if she already left the country?

According to the OP it was an arranged marriage, so that's why they married. Nowhere does it say she sought to marry him or sought to obtain a GC. But you are right, perhaps they pushed for marriage too early. Bottom line, they are married, she is talking.
Why so bitter?

Please note not all Jamaican or 3rd world men are beating women and acting like Jerks , this is no cultural thing;
he does not appreciate love & decency, U get these kinds everywhere,, its very important ppl get to know a
person before marrying them, because one cannot turn dirty dish towel into fine dining silk table-cloth, kick
that coot to the curb , my husband has 7 brothers and 1 sister, none beat or abuse women, and they make sure it
does not happen to their sister and they are Jamaicans...kick that man to the curb file for a divorce . He has issues

It is usually very hard for a woman raised in the US to wrap their heads around the allowed behavior between a man and woman in 3rd world countries. In many places a husband has a perfect right to beat his wife senseless or kill her and not have the least bit of worry that anyone would even question his actions. When someone from this type of culture immigrates to the US it is sometimes almost unmanageable for them. They see the typical actions of a independant woman to be disrespectfull and have grown up thinking that they should "correct" their spouses behavior. I see this in many Nigerian men some of whom are relucant to bring their Nigerian spouses here because they don't want them to become free thinking. Here in the US we tend to tag this behavior as a mental disorder but in truth it is part of how they were brought up and the values they learned in their native culture.

You said that you are in Malaysia on a visitor visa, where is your home?

His repeat offenses trying to cross illegally will make it impossible for him to ever come to the US. He did that on his own, and is comtemplating it again. Not smart.

On topic.
So I woke up this morning to email advising that they (USEM Lagos) was unabel to reach my Fancee on the phone (which was a good thing because they woudl have received crying and wailing).
Basically they had to reschdule our interview out by 2 weeks.
WHen I relayed the news to my Fiancee was totally devastated emotionally that it's now going to be another two weeks until she see's me. Her Mum said it took 2 hours for her to console herself.
This is how it's supposed to be. Two beating hearts are supposed to be yearning for each other, trying their gosh darnest to be joined at the earliest opportunity. It's not supposed to be dragging ones feet and making excuses.
Good luck to all of us on this journey.

I'll answer your question. This is my personal experience.
My husband had to make several 8 hour bus rides back and forth to the capital which took days, to get paperwork over and over again. I sent him money once for his birthday and once at the end of the school year. When he moved in with his parents I didn't send him any cash but I did send him what we will call 'money-making opportunities'. My husband then used the money he earned to buy me plane tickets and paid for everything while I visited. (I did pay for all of the immigration expenses though)
I went with him to the interview in the embassy, I told him I was fully prepared to purchase his one way ticket the day of the interview so he could fly home with me. He said, much to my dismay, that because his mother was ill he might not be able to leave that same week. I told him it was up to him when he wanted to leave Honduras, but I wanted him to come with me. After we walked out of the interview with an approval he looked at me and said, can we buy my ticket now!?!
Family first, but I am his family now!
Good luck with everything, you know your options and it sounds like you know your outcomes.

You should be able to get a print out of the results from all of the tests that they did. If not go back, or go to the local health dept, they might do it for free.
You also should have an appointment with you OBGYN doctor without your husband present at least to discuss everything that is going on. It sounds like you have a few issues here and your OBGYN doctor should be able to help you work through them. If your husband's main concern is being accused of non-consensual sex then he doesn't need to be involved in your health discussions.
Also, demand that your husband have full testing done as well. Not only does this affect the two of you but any possible future children you might have. Even if only one parent has an infection/disease.
In the end, we are all responsible for own health and the consequences. So sorry you are having to deal with this. Please take care.

It seems your husband is a freaking abuser.He had sex with over 200 different women WITHOUT condoms before getting married, it means that he doesn't have any self respect then do not expect he will respect you either...without condoms 200 women? what a jerk... Get tested, and remember you can't travel back in time, but you can make smart choices to protect yourself NOW!. Life is way to short to spend it in poor relationship.

You should be able to get a print out of the results from all of the tests that they did. If not go back, or go to the local health dept, they might do it for free.
You also should have an appointment with you OBGYN doctor without your husband present at least to discuss everything that is going on. It sounds like you have a few issues here and your OBGYN doctor should be able to help you work through them. If your husband's main concern is being accused of non-consensual sex then he doesn't need to be involved in your health discussions.
Also, demand that your husband have full testing done as well. Not only does this affect the two of you but any possible future children you might have. Even if only one parent has an infection/disease.
In the end, we are all responsible for own health and the consequences. So sorry you are having to deal with this. Please take care.

Isn't that the cornerstone of every marriage ?

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

Don't send her any money (or at least a minimal amount) and see how long this lasts.

Don't send her any money (or at least a minimal amount) and see how long this lasts.

You forget all about the wait and get on with life, which is far more challenging

If this hiccup along the road of life is causing you to want to end your marriage maybe you need to reconsider what you are doing.

OK...I don't care if I get thread banned. Cases like this are the reason immigration is so difficult for people with BONAFIDE marriages and relationships to get through this broken system of ours. I will be the one to pass judgement. You just withdrew a petition for K1, now you're in "love" with a woman who has barely been married on a k1 to a different man and you want advice from those of us who would do anything to have our SO with us??? Those of us who have done everything legally, who love and miss our SO. Who have been separated for months, some couples for years. Couples like my husband and I, who did everything by the book,went through the entire process start to finish only to be told that we are in the black hole of administrative processing, we have to wait until the process is done. It has already been 2 months since we have been put in AP, and it could be months and months more before his visa is issued, we just don't know. We have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on travel expenses for me to go to see him every 3 or 4 months just so we can spend a few weeks together as a married couple in the same country, countless hours on skype and msn, phone and texting. the list goes on and on. I wouldn't trade one minute of it, because my husband and I know in the end we WILL be reunited, that we have a real and true marriage and we love each other, and that all of the stress and pain and worry of being apart will have been worth it. Your whole story is a hot mess and exactly the reason it is so difficult for the rest of us. I said what a lot of people here are thinking. Sorry for the rant people, I am just so tired of reading these stories, I really really am.

IMHO, because it sounds like a dismissive and obvious blanket answer to any question related to issues with immigration.
I agree with you that, in most cases, that might seem the most appropriate answer, even, but the intent of the question and the manner in which it was formulated did not warrant the answer.
If you think of it, that answer is true for anyone and everyone experiencing any issues with immigration.

My two-cent worth: file for a divorce and move on with your life. Let her deal with the USCIS and the chips fall where they may. If you make it your goal to exact retribution from the situation. It may very well end up consuming you.

She says its love.. she looks good and loves a guy with tiny parts who stinks and is ugly and treat her disrespectfully, and she wants to bring him to the US. You can tell she feels strongly about it by the excessive smileys littering her posts....

Need pic to judge

Utterly agree. Don't pull the married-for-greencard when being the USC or the i'll-just-go-home-and-never-come-back card when being the non-USC in an arguement. It's simply not justifiable. Not only is it outright mean, it rarely holds water and when there's nothing to back up the statement, then your wife really needs to re-evaluate her choice of words and actions, especially when dealing with USCIS. Falsely accusing you of something isn't really the best move, and it's a waste of USCIS' time, and it's a waste of time for people waiting for a decision on their case when there's no truth to the claim.

You're not experiencing abuse, you're experiencing poverty.