Domestic violence while waiting for the green card

[Aubrey1212 0]

Hi all, I want to keep it as short as possible. I have a question on possible scenarios and best options before I involve lawyers or the police, which I was about to do today. My husband is waiting for his GC, the interview was back in early May. The approval letter came soon after, but then nothing. He says the system says the green card has been delivered and that I stole his documents.

He does not drive, has no job, no income or savings, relies on me for everything from getting the groceries to paying our bills. It was not my intention to have it that way - I offered to have a joint account but he says he wants his own, but first has to secure a job, and he will be learning to drive as soon as he has secured an income. All he's doing is applying and interview prepping for remote IT work, he has solid resume but no local US work experience of course, and the market is weird now. I am willing to move wherever, as I am working remotely as well, and drive him to the office, if needed. It's been six months since he got his work permit but he says he applied around and no bank would open him an account without the green card.

Lately he started to get abusive both verbally and physically. The day before yesterday he accused me of refusing to take him to the hospital, as he is in great pain from me supposedly breaking his rib. He got violent the other day and broke down the bedroom door screaming he is going to hit me, and when the door gave up I ran out to the car and pushed him off my way so that is what he might be referring to when he says I injured him. I did not involve the police that time out of shock, and I have no evidence expect for the photos of the door, which he since fixed somewhat. He now also claims I broke it myself. So when I offered to take him to ER he just shut down and kept repeating that I am refusing to help him. It was so wild! I started recording every conversation since then, although we don't speak English there...would that be a problem using it as evidence? He slammed doors again, which just made me instantly panic, so I packed up and drove to my mom's place which is less that two hours away, seeing that he said I am abandoning him and he's going to die there in need of urgent care with no means to call for or get help. As he has no one in this country except for me and is very close with his parents, I have expressed my desire to contact them to either get them to get through to him, or to help him move on his own, to which he always reacts violently. So this morning I got audio recordings of him screaming he will kill and bury me and my parents if I even think about contacting his family. That he will make it his life's mission to destroy me if I hurt his parents. So, I want to report him to the police as I got very scared and it is very serious threats. I left that instant. I stopped by the police station but they were closed for the day and gave me deputy's number. So I'm thinking all these audio recordings I have are not in English though. How do I go about it? I also have a video of him blocking the doorway with his body and rolling on the floor repeating "please stop hitting me" where it is clearly seen I am not touching him at all. He does not speak English there as well. He accused me of cheating and lying and marrying him for money. This all is absolutely not true and I suspect he is not of sound mind considering it all. I have packed my things and left to a safe place for now, the fridge is fully stocked, the rent is paid through end of August. He has no money to pay for anything, he claims his phone line is off so he can't call for help and I abandoned him there in the desert all alone with no means to get help. I have offered to drive him to the airport and buy a ticket back home before, if that is what he wants, it never came out to anything though. So my question is, if I go to the police, and present them with what I have, what is likely happen? He has expressed that he basically hates me and my entire bloodline, and he knows my parents' address, in fact, it's his official mailing address. I am his one and only sponsor as well. I would like to stop financing this horror asap but I also I don't want him to get arrested and endanger my family by angering him even more...who knows what he might do? He might hurt himself and accuse me of it? Please advise! Thank you

[milimelo 4,736]

Walk away - you really want to be with someone who's threating you and your family and breaks down doors? Where's he from that he doesn't speak not a lick of English and what did he expect to find work wise with role in IT - that's also heavily English based. 

 

You may be stuck with him finance wise if he gets support from the government as you're his petitioner/sponsor but if the green card is not in you could try to pull I-864 by writing to USCIS. 

[Crazy Cat 44,438]

Run away from this "marriage" !  This is beyond abnormal behavior.  I would go to the police for the violence and threats, then I would immediately hire a divorce attorney. Yes, you will be obligated under the I-864 if his Green Card has been approved, but that might be the least of your worries.  His immigration path is his responsibility. 

Edited Saturday at 11:14 AM by Crazy Cat

[balo101 689]

Pack your stuff and run away from him. Unfortunately i do not see this ending well for you. Your safety is important so please protect yourself. 

[OldUser 9,896]

@Aubrey1212 you're not responsible for his immigration.

 

Take care of yourself, move out and divorce him.

 

There's nothing else to do other than protect yourself.

[smilingstone 596]

You absolutely need to go to the police. They can get translators if the evidence isn't in English. They need to be aware of him incase something happens to you or your family. 

 

Start divorce ASAP. Get a restraining order. Whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your family. 

 

Surely to God there is something out there which protects a sponsor from being financially obligated if there is a documented history of abuse? 

[OldUser 9,896]

16 minutes ago, smilingstone said:

You absolutely need to go to the police. They can get translators if the evidence isn't in English. They need to be aware of him incase something happens to you or your family. 

 

Start divorce ASAP. Get a restraining order. Whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your family. 

 

Surely to God there is something out there which protects a sponsor from being financially obligated if there is a documented history of abuse? 

I-864 is rarely enforced and only if beneficiary receives government support. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Physical violence, threats, emotional abuse - this is what I'd worry about the most.

Edited Saturday at 05:45 PM by OldUser

[Yareth 197]

I second all of these comments. 

He is manipulating you to the ends of the earth and back again. Cut all ties, get a divorce attorney, report him for abusive behavior/irrational behavior and threats to your life. Police have interpreters and will use them to review the evidence in question. 

[Crazy Cat 44,438]

57 minutes ago, smilingstone said:

Surely to God there is something out there which protects a sponsor from being financially obligated if there is a documented history of abuse? 

Maybe....if the sponsor can prove fraud.  Otherwise, the obligation is intact. 

 

 

"Responsibilities as a Sponsor

When you sign the affidavit of support, you accept legal responsibility for financially supporting the sponsored immigrant(s), generally until they become U.S. citizens or are credited with 40 quarters of work. Your obligation as a sponsor also ends if you or the individual sponsored dies or if the individual sponsored ceases to be a lawful permanent resident and departs the United States.

Note: Divorce does NOT end the sponsorship obligation.

If an immigrant you sponsored receives any means-tested public benefits, you are responsible for repaying the cost of those benefits to the agency that provided them. If you do not repay the debt, the agency or the immigrant can sue you in court to get the money owed. Any joint sponsors and household members who  allowed the sponsor to combine their income with the sponsor’s income to meet the minimum income requirements are also legally responsible for financially supporting the sponsored immigrant. In fact, any joint sponsor and household member is jointly or severally liable with the petitioning sponsor, meaning that the joint sponsor and household member are independently liable for the full extent of the reimbursement obligation and can be sued in court or be asked to pay the money owed, even if the petitioning sponsor is not sued or asked for money."

[Boiler 47,460]

We see the I 864 mainly enforced as apart of a DivorceSettlement not by the Feds.