Help!

[Ready_or_Not 0]

Do you know how I can get back to Germany, providing that he refuses to get me a ticket to leave? I cannot stay here - this is pure torture. I know when he comes back from vacation, it will start all over again.

That's why it's important to contact a family law attorney. You may not have to deal with your husband at all when he returns. He may find that he is the one that cannot use the home until it is all worked out. He is financially responsible and the attorney will know how best to see to it that you are taken care of. Call around--I'm sure there are many attorneys in your area that will take your case without you having any money to pay them. They will seek their compensation through the court from him.

OK. Thank you so much! I'm going to go look up attorneys right now.

[Ready_or_Not 0]

Hello VJ,

First of all, I'd like to say that I am not a troll. I post here on a regular basis but I just wish to remain anonymous under the circumstances. Thank you for understanding this.

Now for the real deal ... I have a conditional GC and when I first got here, everything was fine and dandy. However, my husband is having some major personal issues and at the moment, he has turned into someone completely different. I am 8 weeks pregnant and there is already a 6 year old child involved so I am really trying to get some advice here.

My husband abandoned me, according to what the law says. He kicked me out of the house last night. I told him by law he cant do this because we are married and he then called the police. Police came and told him he can't kick me out BUT, after saying that, they told me to spend the night somewhere else so things wouldn't escalate. I am now at a friends house still.

My husband left this morning to go on vacation until August 10th. He took my ATM cards, took me off his account, and left me no money. I have no groceries and mind you, if I were alone, it wouldn't be so bad but I have a child involved here and she is suffering.

Last night while the police were still there, I asked him to buy me a plane ticket to send me back to Germany. He refused. So in other words, he is refusing to provide for me but at the same time, he is keeping me here. I feel like a prisoner. I don't want to be here anymore and I just really want to leave here. My family has no money to send me to get me back to Germany.

What about this affidavit of support? I mean, since he is keeping me here, he is legally bound by that so how do I enforce it? Please, my daughter is seriously suffering and scared to death. I don't know what to do. I have no clue who to call or anything else.

What state are you living in? Have you been residing in this home for 90 days or more? As for immediate relief, do you have a relationship with any neighbours in the immediate area, that you could borrow some cash for groceries from until this gets sorted out?

Although it might appear otherwise right now, your husband leaving for a couple of weeks might give you time to get your ducks in a row. I;d call around the area for a lawyer's referral service (most Bar Assocs have one) and find a family lawyer. A first consult shouldn't cost you anything, but prior to doing so, get a list of questions assembled, in terms of your rights (marital rights); what constitutes abandonment (first instinct here is that he has not legally abandoned you, not in legal terms anyway); what you can and cannot do with joint possessions, funds etc.

I live in Illinois. And yes, I have lived with him for more than 90 days. I have been here for 5 months. I do have neighbors but don' know any of them well enough to borrow money. I am going to call several organizations as soon as I get back to my house.

Yeah, I am going to call a lawyer as well. Since my husband is also in the army, I will be calling his unit commander and the chaplain.

Thanks.

[amrssnowangel 0]

The purpose of the financial support affidavit is so he guarantees that you will not become a public charge. Since he has put you into this position..i'd march right down to the closest Welfare office and apply for every benefit you are entitled to. He will have to pay the government back per his I-864. Apply for WIC , Womens, Infant and Children for both you and your daughter. It will provide you vouchers for food. Call the local German embassy here and find out if they can help get you home. And above all consult an attorney. Ask at your local welfare office for the closest Legal Aid office. Just my opinion..but you need to take care of you, your unborn baby and daughter. Go get the help you need to eat and pay bills. He will have to pay for it one way or the other. Good luck. (Also, go to your local court house and file for immediate custody of your daughter if this is his child and ask for child support in the petition. He has just as much legal right to the daughter as you do and once he takes her, its very hard to get her back...please...go file in court for her custody if she is his....never know what he may do out of anger.)

Good luck

[Dakine 26]

How about going to your local Human Services and get assistance such as food stamps and money assistance.

Sounds like being on welfare won't hurt your immigration case if you want to go home.

Get records of abuse from police also in case you change your mind .

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Yes, definitely contact his commanding officer in the army or one of the family support offices at the base. My husband retired after 25 years in the army and a number of times he had to intervene to assist family members when men under his command failed to or were not in a position to fulfill their responsibilities. Did your husband get you a military ID card, by any chance? If so, do you still have it? You may also want to locate the closest German Embassy or Consulate and ask them their advice, and if necessary, assistance to return home at the right time. In the meantime, do make sure you contact a lawyer about divorce and settlement. You have rights under the law, regardless of what your husband would like to think. Good luck.

Edited July 25, 2007 by Kathryn41

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

Don't forget you are also pregnant and entitled to child support for this baby also.

[Boiler 43,622]

Sounds like the guy is an idiot.

He has a regular source of income, a good Family Lawyer should be able to get you both support and his fees paid by the Husband.

And he cold have got out for the price of a plane ticket. Now going to cost him a lot more, a lot lot more.

[pj1959us 0]

I don't know if your desire to go back to Germany is a knee-jerk reaction but do try to think long term, especially with child(ren) involved, on what is best. While you are researching your options keep in mind that there can be various sources to help you through this.

In the chance you or your children (born and unborn) need medical care in the interim, I wanted to share this link with you since you live in Illinois. http://www.allkidscovered.com/ Please be sure to familiarize yourself with the program, especially since you are pregnant and services are provided for you as well.

I'm so sorry this has happened and hope that you can find some assistance that you need.

Take care,

PJ

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

I live in Illinois. And yes, I have lived with him for more than 90 days. I have been here for 5 months. I do have neighbors but don' know any of them well enough to borrow money. I am going to call several organizations as soon as I get back to my house.

Thanks.

I think the army may be able to give you some sort of temporary assistance once you notify them of what's going on.

I live in Illinois too and can help if you need it, PM me There is a German embassy in Chicago that you can contact:

http://www.germany.info/relaunch/info/miss...go/chicago.html

Also honorary consuls provide emergency assistance in IL & surrounding states:

http://www.germany.info/relaunch/info/miss...chicago/hc.html

Ultimate last resort is that if you fell out of status, you could be voluntarily deported (I think German consulate picks up bill and in turn would make your husband pay it).

[John & Annie 0]

Hello VJ,

First of all, I'd like to say that I am not a troll. I post here on a regular basis but I just wish to remain anonymous under the circumstances. Thank you for understanding this.

Now for the real deal ... I have a conditional GC and when I first got here, everything was fine and dandy. However, my husband is having some major personal issues and at the moment, he has turned into someone completely different. I am 8 weeks pregnant and there is already a 6 year old child involved so I am really trying to get some advice here.

My husband abandoned me, according to what the law says. He kicked me out of the house last night. I told him by law he cant do this because we are married and he then called the police. Police came and told him he can't kick me out BUT, after saying that, they told me to spend the night somewhere else so things wouldn't escalate. I am now at a friends house still.

My husband left this morning to go on vacation until August 10th. He took my ATM cards, took me off his account, and left me no money. I have no groceries and mind you, if I were alone, it wouldn't be so bad but I have a child involved here and she is suffering.

Last night while the police were still there, I asked him to buy me a plane ticket to send me back to Germany. He refused. So in other words, he is refusing to provide for me but at the same time, he is keeping me here. I feel like a prisoner. I don't want to be here anymore and I just really want to leave here. My family has no money to send me to get me back to Germany.

What about this affidavit of support? I mean, since he is keeping me here, he is legally bound by that so how do I enforce it? Please, my daughter is seriously suffering and scared to death. I don't know what to do. I have no clue who to call or anything else.

What state are you living in? Have you been residing in this home for 90 days or more? As for immediate relief, do you have a relationship with any neighbours in the immediate area, that you could borrow some cash for groceries from until this gets sorted out?

Although it might appear otherwise right now, your husband leaving for a couple of weeks might give you time to get your ducks in a row. I;d call around the area for a lawyer's referral service (most Bar Assocs have one) and find a family lawyer. A first consult shouldn't cost you anything, but prior to doing so, get a list of questions assembled, in terms of your rights (marital rights); what constitutes abandonment (first instinct here is that he has not legally abandoned you, not in legal terms anyway); what you can and cannot do with joint possessions, funds etc.

I live in Illinois. And yes, I have lived with him for more than 90 days. I have been here for 5 months. I do have neighbors but don' know any of them well enough to borrow money. I am going to call several organizations as soon as I get back to my house.

Yeah, I am going to call a lawyer as well. Since my husband is also in the army, I will be calling his unit commander and the chaplain.

Thanks.

Being that he is in the Army, that brings up a whole new set of circumstances. He can get in deep shite. I would go with the military route and contact the base chaplain. They should make sure you are taken care of. If there are any problems, Catholic Charities can get you access to shelters and/or food. They also have attorneys, but your husband is subject to the Uniform code of Military Justice. Which has much more stringent laws, so Were I you, I would stick with the Military route.

[cleverkat 0]

I was also kicked by my ex husband and ex-mother-in-law out the house when I called cops on my ex (drug-related evening). I was a mess as I didn`t know what to do and was scared. The cops told me that they didn`t have rights to kick me out, and they can do it through the court because I resided there for almost two years and that there is a law (at least in FL) that you can`t just kick people out if you let to stay them in your house.

As far as leaving him with his unborn child-make sure the fact that the child is not born is not the same if you leave with born child-could violate a law (kidnapping).

For help-yes, churches are great (I`ve never used them, but was brought there in case I needed, they`ll give you food-for sure). Police department should have "victim advocate", they`ll give you some info and try to help you. The affidavit of support is not too enforcable (tried to do that), but you can get food stamps and health care for your children.

Germany is such a great country, and economy is going up, and it`s clean and organic, love it! ;-)

[cleverkat 0]

He has a regular source of income, a good Family Lawyer should be able to get you both support and his fees paid by the Husband.

Wouldn`t be so sure for support for her as their marriage is too short.

[SqdnGuns 21]

I live in Illinois. And yes, I have lived with him for more than 90 days. I have been here for 5 months. I do have neighbors but don' know any of them well enough to borrow money. I am going to call several organizations as soon as I get back to my house.

Yeah, I am going to call a lawyer as well. Since my husband is also in the army, I will be calling his unit commander and the chaplain.

Thanks.

Call his command NOW. I was a Sqdn Gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps and had to deal with issues like this. I would also recommend contacting the office of the Commanding General for the base, not just his command.

[L_n_O 3]

good luck hun

I'm sorry I can't offer any real help but I hope you manage to contact all the people you need to get it.

[Mammimaus2007 0]

I am speechless what kind of jerk is that? you are pregnant and got a child and he left you with no money? oh I would raise hell definitly go with the military way first, call the local woman shelter too they can give you great advise too and will help you with the steps you have to take. Have you applied for WIC? AND call the german embassy too, use all the help you can get. This is in my eyes abuse that he is commiting!!!!