K1 denied at interview now under supervisor review

[brii 34]

22 hours ago, carolynhotstuff said:

My fiancé and I have a huge age difference. When he went to his interview the counselor officer asked how we met and the interview went downhill from there. The officer never asked any relationship questions he wanted to know how I was able to afford to spend 3 months in Pakistan. My fiancé told him and the officer said I don’t believe you. The officer questioned how I was getting so much money from social security and pension again he said I don’t believe you and my fiancé was denied on the spot. When he called and told me about the interview I immediately emailed and asked for a supervisor review and explained why. The request was granted but we have been in AP since March 2022. 
 

My question is if the supervisor denies our visa and we get married can I move to Pakistan and file a CR1 immediately since it’s taking so long for USCIS to process them or should I live with him a year or 2 first?

Hi Carolyn,

 

First things first, I'm sorry to hear about your denial, and hope you can deal with the emotional baggage this journey brings.

That being said, I don't want to come across as judging, but as a concerned human being, and I hope you can see it that way also. I want to ask you some questions, and I really hope you can be critical with yourself, and put any emotion aside:

1. How sure are you that this relationship is bonafide on his side?
2. Are you with this young person because of any emotional attachments you had to your previous husband (also, I'm so sorry for your loss)?
3. Are there a deeply rooted emotional or even spiritual issues that you haven't addressed?
4. Have you thought about how this could impact your future?

 

I am sorry if I seem super direct in my questions. I know someone who's husband passed away and is chained to a terribly toxic relationship that many people tried to get them out of. We know that this person has a problem that's rooted within a desire to be loved and to get attention. When faced with these problems, we get desperate and often settle for less. I am just wondering if this MIGHT be similar to your case. Again, not confirming; just wondering.

 

Please, don't feel the need to answer my questions now (or ever), but I do advise that you go through a CRITICAL phase of self reflection, maybe with the help of a third party, and come up with answers for yourself.

If at the end of this reflective phase, you do decide to remain in this relationship; then I guess you could file for a CR1 after marrying.

Good luck Carolyn, and I wish you the best.

[Boiler 43,736]

The previous husband was an abuser and I believe is still with us.

[brii 34]

1 hour ago, brii said:

Hi Carolyn,

 

First things first, I'm sorry to hear about your denial, and hope you can deal with the emotional baggage this journey brings.

That being said, I don't want to come across as judging, but as a concerned human being, and I hope you can see it that way also. I want to ask you some questions, and I really hope you can be critical with yourself, and put any emotion aside:

1. How sure are you that this relationship is bonafide on his side?
2. Are you with this young person because of any emotional attachments you had to your previous husband (also, I'm so sorry for your loss)?
3. Are there a deeply rooted emotional or even spiritual issues that you haven't addressed?
4. Have you thought about how this could impact your future?

 

I am sorry if I seem super direct in my questions. I know someone who's husband passed away and is chained to a terribly toxic relationship that many people tried to get them out of. We know that this person has a problem that's rooted within a desire to be loved and to get attention. When faced with these problems, we get desperate and often settle for less. I am just wondering if this MIGHT be similar to your case. Again, not confirming; just wondering.

 

Please, don't feel the need to answer my questions now (or ever), but I do advise that you go through a CRITICAL phase of self reflection, maybe with the help of a third party, and come up with answers for yourself.

If at the end of this reflective phase, you do decide to remain in this relationship; then I guess you could file for a CR1 after marrying.

Good luck Carolyn, and I wish you the best.

Apparently your ex-husband was abusive and is still around, so excuse my condolences.

[pm5k 127]

On 7/18/2022 at 7:34 AM, carolynhotstuff said:

Yes I am older. I’m 62 and he is 24

Such a marriage is already rare in the US, and extremely rare in Pakistan.  In the interview, the CO has to think (among other things) "would this marriage have existed if immigration was not in the picture". 

 

Even if the genders were reversed, it would still be uncommon (husband in 40s marrying a wife in her 20s is still possible, but getting less common with time) and likely subject to scrutiny. 

 

 

[pm5k 127]

On 7/25/2009 at 7:22 AM, carolynhotstuff said:

There is a huge age difference between me and the man I will marry in 2 weeks in Pakistan. We love each other and to us that is all that matters. We met online but I have already been to Pakistan once to meet him and his family and I will return in 10 days for our marriage. There is over a 20 year age difference. Men do this all the time but for a woman to marry a younger man is still rare.

My question is will this hurt us in getting our k-3 visa? I worry about this all the time. Any help to ease my mind would be welcome.

The fact that this happened once before, with nearly identical circumstances, will make the CO even more suspicious.

 

 

[Boiler 43,736]

7 minutes ago, pm5k said:

Such a marriage is already rare in the US, and extremely rare in Pakistan.  In the interview, the CO has to think (among other things) "would this marriage have existed if immigration was not in the picture". 

 

Even if the genders were reversed, it would still be uncommon (husband in 40s marrying a wife in her 20s is still possible, but getting less common with time) and likely subject to scrutiny. 

 

 

Marriage is less common, I have not seen comments about 40s vs 20s, seems pretty normal here. Can not think why it would change,

[pm5k 127]

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Marriage is less common, I have not seen comments about 40s vs 20s, seems pretty normal here. Can not think why it would change,

I meant that even in Pakistan when they husband is older, the gaps are typically not 30+ years.  I was trying to emphasize that this marriage is extremely rare in Pakistan. 

[Boiler 43,736]

5 minutes ago, pm5k said:

I meant that even in Pakistan when they husband is older, the gaps are typically not 30+ years.  I was trying to emphasize that this marriage is extremely rare in Pakistan. 

Well that is certainly the case everywhere.

[jft 12]

On 7/18/2022 at 7:47 AM, carmel34 said:

My husband and I have a big age difference (27 years), so we didn't even bother with a K-1.

My wife and I had a 20 year age difference and we got approved with no issues. We had first met over a decade earlier and then reunited which probably helped a bit combined with the fact that she was in her mid 30's and I was in my mid 50's which may have made it seem less out of place.

[powerpuff 5,977]

6 hours ago, jft said:

My wife and I had a 20 year age difference and we got approved with no issues. We had first met over a decade earlier and then reunited which probably helped a bit combined with the fact that she was in her mid 30's and I was in my mid 50's which may have made it seem less out of place.

The discussion so far has been when the woman is significantly older than the man.  When the man is older it almost always presents no issues. That is not so when the woman is older, hence why they stated that CR-1 is better in that case and they’re right 

[jft 12]

On 7/26/2022 at 5:23 AM, powerpuff said:

The discussion so far has been when the woman is significantly older than the man.  When the man is older it almost always presents no issues. That is not so when the woman is older, hence why they stated that CR-1 is better in that case and they’re right 

I missed that detail, yes more than 5 years age difference on the side of the woman could be regarded as a red flag as sexist as that is.