I need help ASAP

[Nitas_man 3,100]

47 minutes ago, Duke & Marie said:

Incorrect sorry... I have 8 years worth of DV and restraining orders on my ex and still couldn’t take the kids out of the country without his consent, both I and the kids had dual citizenship.... 

 

with ref to the kids, courts look at what’s in their best interest and irrespective of our thoughts the courts want to ensure that the children have a relationship with both parents even if it only under supervision the relationship is still important unless you can prove without doubt... 

 

No they don’t scramble jets, but they do contact the feds of whichever country your in and have them arrest you and remove the child from your care.. 

 

if she trys to take the child out of the country without the fathers or courts written concent, and the father complains the child will be returned to the US under Hague agreement.. unless of course she moves to a non signatory country but wouldn’t suggest she do that 

In the case of the UK I took the time to check.  9% of the requests for return are denied compared to 15% worldwide.

 

Most denied on “grave risk” basis. The ones accepted?  It is common for the UK send the child and other parent back with a whole list of agreed on requirements.  Protection order, maintenance, the works.

 

Those are slim odds but Hague was set up to prevent non-custodial parents from absconding with children, not to trap parents and children with an abuser and the participating countries are starting to recognize that a large percentage of parents who flee are fleeing abuse not “kidnapping” children.

 

Taking a child and fleeing an abuser to a safe place to let the legal systems sort it out is not a crime.

[Unidentified 2,930]

17 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

Im not sure that all of this kidnapping stuff is correct.

 

Absent a court order either parent at this time can pick up and take the baby anywhere they want.

That is not how things work in America. 

[Nitas_man 3,100]

5 minutes ago, Unidentified said:

That is not how things work in America. 

It’s exactly how things work.  I played the system like a fiddle for 25 years.

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

4 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

In the case of the UK I took the time to check.  9% of the requests for return are denied compared to 15% worldwide.

 

Most denied on “grave risk” basis. The ones accepted?  It is common for the UK send the child and other parent back with a whole list of agreed on requirements.  Protection order, maintenance, the works.

 

Those are slim odds but Hague was set up to prevent non-custodial parents from absconding with children, not to trap parents and children with an abuser and the participating countries are starting to recognize that a large percentage of parents who flee are fleeing abuse not “kidnapping” children.

 

Taking a child and fleeing an abuser to a safe place to let the legal systems sort it out is not a crime.

So as you say, there’s still a 91% chance the child will be returned.. not great odds. 

 

And taking a child from a custodian parent to a safe place is one thing... it’s another trying to justify taking them half way around the world... a safe place could be 50 miles, not 5,000 or more..

[aaron2020 11,651]

4 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

It’s exactly how things work.  I played the system like a fiddle for 25 years.

Saudia Arabia is not the rest of the world.  Rules there don't apply to the rest of the world.  

[Nitas_man 3,100]

10 hours ago, aaron2020 said:

Saudia Arabia is not the rest of the world.  Rules there don't apply to the rest of the world.  

 

Neither of us are Saudi and i dont care enough about their laws or the way they do things to even check.

 

I had a kiddo absconded with and it was all on me to get that made right.  34 trips to court and not a thing happened to my ex who did it.

You got some experience to share - share it but in my view we should stick to what the law says you can, cannot do and what the law says is and is not allowed.  We are talking about the US and the UK here, not Saudi.  

Edited June 8, 2020 by Nitas_man

[R&OC 349]

We currently had a scenario in which a mother returned to Germany with the understanding of her soon to be ex-husband that her relocation was okay. He had verbally consented to that and didn't stop her and his child from leaving. He changed his mind after six month in Germany and started legal proceedings despite a notarised letter allowing her to leave. Cutting to the chase, the legal proceedings took a while in Germany and the mother was then requested to return the child to the US. However, her LPR status was now considered to be abandoned. She had no intent to "kidnap" the child, all was done in what she thought was in accordance with rules and regulations and she is in a really horrible situation now.

 

Having said that, please make sure you are carefully navigating the divorce and immigration laws. Him allowing you to fly back may not keep you safe from future regrets. Hence, I highly recommend that you file the necessary paperwork with the courts so that he can not change his mind later. Your son can not petition you for now and if your LPR status changes but he needs to return, you would be stuck in the UK.

[Debzib88 85]

Ok there’s a lot to think about and do. Seems like I have to jump through a few hoops. 

[vawa2020 84]

PLZZZ OP dont take the child and leave the U.S without proper measures. You will get F-ed so bad. Contact a family lawyer immediately and call the POLICE 

[ihaveadream 19]

Listen - I just got out of an abusive marriage and I know, the shelters are horrendous, I was there I know.  I understand.  If you have his approval to take the child, come stay with me in Tampa till you can sort things.  My kids 18, 14 love babies like I do and we won't complain about his crying. 

 

I do have cancer but am okay for now and just moving to a house from my apartment.  We will have an extra room - can buy a mattress or something.  Don't put up with abuse.

Please feel free to PM me.

[Liam&Lizz 36]

someone mentioned offline help and i didn't really see a reply.   OP take yourself and your child to an emergency room (hospital).  When they are triaging you one of the first questions they will ask is "do you feel safe at home?".  This is where you can get the ball rolling with the police as well as social services. Most hospitals have a social worker available 24 hours but if not they can have you wait there until their office opens. Keep in mind that like most social services processes is only as good as you put into it, Honesty is the best policy. Be prepared for a fight but at least this time you will have advocates for you and your child. It's scary feeling alone and doubly so in a foreign country so to speak; realize that you have strangers rooting for you.  Cheers and GL