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Facebook To Award Everyone Printable Medical Degree

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Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   12,842

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article-5913-1.jpg
 

MENLO PARK, CA—By popular demand, Facebook is awarding everyone a printable medical degree. 

 

Medical degrees used to be hard to get, but now, all you need to do is comment your medical opinions on Facebook. Then, you'll automatically get a message with a link to your very own M.D. You can print it out and hang it on your wall. Then, when someone asks if you have any qualifications to back up one of your medical statements, you can just point to it and say, "Ya burnt."

"The biggest problem with our platform is many people comment on medical things but have no medical background," said Mark Zuckerberg. "Now, everyone on Facebook is officially a doctor. Problem solved."


more at https://babylonbee.com/news/facebook-to-award-everyone-printable-medical-degree

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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Nature Boy 2.0 Veteran

Nature Boy 2.0   8,315

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1 hour ago, Ban Hammer said:

article-5913-1.jpg
 

MENLO PARK, CA—By popular demand, Facebook is awarding everyone a printable medical degree. 

 

Medical degrees used to be hard to get, but now, all you need to do is comment your medical opinions on Facebook. Then, you'll automatically get a message with a link to your very own M.D. You can print it out and hang it on your wall. Then, when someone asks if you have any qualifications to back up one of your medical statements, you can just point to it and say, "Ya burnt."

"The biggest problem with our platform is many people comment on medical things but have no medical background," said Mark Zuckerberg. "Now, everyone on Facebook is officially a doctor. Problem solved."


more at https://babylonbee.com/news/facebook-to-award-everyone-printable-medical-degree

Why not. It seems everyone on VJ is an expert epidemiologist 

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   43,065

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Don't even need a medical degree to report this:  my body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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millefleur Veteran

millefleur   5,037

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Posted (edited)

Wait, was this an April fools thing or...? I can see computer users of a certain demographic taking it seriously...

 

2 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Don't even need a medical degree to report this:  my body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.

Bottle that and sell it! 

Edited by millefleur

🇷🇺 CR-1 via DCF (Dec 2016-Jun 2017) & I-751 ROC (Apr 2019-Oct 2019)🌹

Spoiler

Info about my DCF Moscow* experience here and here

26-Jul-2016: Married abroad in Russia 👩‍❤️‍👨 See guide here
21-Dec-2016: I-130 filed at Moscow USCIS field office*
29-Dec-2016: I-130 approved! Yay! 🎊 

17-Jan-2017: Case number received

21-Mar-2017: Medical Exam completed

24-Mar-2017: Interview at Embassy - approved! 🎉

29-Mar-2017: CR-1 Visa received (via mail)

02-Apr-2017: USCIS Immigrant (GC) Fee paid

28-Jun-2017: Port of Entry @ PDX 🛩️

21-Jul-2017: No SSN after three weeks; applied in person at the SSA

22-Jul-2017: GC arrived in the mail 📬

31-Jul-2017: SSN arrived via mail, hurrah!

 

*NOTE: The USCIS Field Office in Moscow is now CLOSED as of February 28th, 2019.

 

Removal of Conditions - MSC Service Center

 28-Jun-2019: Conditional GC expires

30-Mar-2019: Eligible to apply for ROC

01-Apr-2019: ROC in the mail to Phoenix AZ lockbox! 📫

03-Apr-2019: ROC packet delivered to lockbox

09-Apr-2019: USCIS cashed check

09-Apr-2019: Case number received via text - MSC 📲

12-Apr-2019: Extension letter arrives via mail

19-Apr-2019: Biometrics letter arrives via mail

30-Apr-2019: Biometrics appointment at local office

26-Jun-2019: Case ready to be scheduled for interview ⌛

04-Sep-2019: Interview was scheduled - letter to arrive in mail

09-Sep-2019: Interview letter arrived in the mail! ✉️

17-Oct-2019: Interview scheduled @ local USCIS  

18-Oct-2019: Interview cancelled & notice ordered*

18-Oct-2019: Case was approved! 🎉

22-Oct-2019: Card was mailed to me 📨

23-Oct-2019: Card was picked by USPS 

25-Oct-2019: 10 year GC Card received in mail 📬

 

*I don't understand this status because we DID have an interview!

 

🇺🇸 N-400 Application for Naturalization (Apr 2020-Jun 2021) 🛂

Spoiler

Filed during Covid-19 & moved states 1 month after filing

30-Mar-2020: N-400 early filing window opens!

01-Apr-2020: Filed N-400 online 💻 

02-Apr-2020: NOA 1 - Receipt No. received online 📃

07-Apr-2020: NOA 1 - Receipt No. received via mail

05-May-2020: Moved to another state, filed AR-11 online

05-May-2020: Application transferred to another USCIS field office for review ➡️

15-May-2020: AR-11 request to change address completed

16-Jul-2020: Filed non-receipt inquiry due to never getting confirmation that case was transferred to new field office

15-Oct-2020: Received generic response to non-receipt inquiry, see full response here

10-Feb-2021: Contacted senator's office for help with USCIS

12-Feb-2021: Received canned response from senator's office that case is within processing time 😡

16-Feb-2021: Contacted other senator's office for help with USCIS - still no biometrics

19-Feb-2021: Biometrics reuse notice - canned response from other senator's office 🌐

23-Feb-2021: Interview scheduled - notice to come in the mail

25-Feb-2021: Biometrics reuse notice arrives via mail

01-Mar-2021: Interview notice letter arrives via mail  ✉️ 

29-Mar-2021: Passed interview at local office! Oath Ceremony to be scheduled

13-Apr-2021: Oath Ceremony notice was mailed

04-May-2021: Oath Ceremony scheduled 🎆 Unable to attend due to illness

04-May-2021: Mailed request to reschedule Oath to local office

05-May-2021: "You did not attend your Oath Ceremony" - notice to come in the mail

06-May-2021: Oath Ceremony will be scheduled, date TBA

12-May-2021: Oath Ceremony re-scheduled for June 3rd, then de-scheduled same day 😡 

25-May-2021: New Oath Ceremony notice was mailed

16-Jun-2021: Oath Ceremony scheduled 🎆 - DONE!!

17-Jun-2021: Certificate of Naturalization issued

 

🎆 Members new and old: don't forget to fill in your VJ timeline! 🎇 https://www.visajourney.com/timeline/

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Voice of Reason Grand Master

Voice of Reason   10,298

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2 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Don't even need a medical degree to report this:  my body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.

YOU DID IT!!!! YOU MADE A FUNNY!!!!!!

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: 

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   43,065

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1 hour ago, millefleur said:

Bottle that and sell it! 

Given the utter unavailability of hand-sanitizer, good idea, si MF ma'am.

1 hour ago, Voice of Reason said:

YOU DID IT!!!! YOU MADE A FUNNY!!!!!!

YOU DID IT!!!!  YOU WROTE THE RESPONSE (with upvote) THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE TO ALL MY FUNNIES!!!!!!

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Dashinka Grand Master

Dashinka   23,252

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12 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Don't even need a medical degree to report this:  my body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.

Now that was funny.  :rofl:

 

Visa Received : 2014-04-04 (K1 - see timeline for details)

US Entry : 2014-09-12

POE: Detroit

Marriage : 2014-09-27

I-765 Approved: 2015-01-09

I-485 Interview: 2015-03-11

I-485 Approved: 2015-03-13

Green Card Received: 2015-03-24 Yeah!!!

I-751 ROC Submitted: 2016-12-20

I-751 NOA Received:  2016-12-29

I-751 Biometrics Appt.:  2017-01-26

I-751 Interview:  2018-04-10

I-751 Approved:  2018-05-04

N400 Filed:  2018-01-13

N400 Biometrics:  2018-02-22

N400 Interview:  2018-04-10

N400 Approved:  2018-04-10

Oath Ceremony:  2018-06-11 - DONE!!!!!!!

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Nature Boy 2.0 Veteran

Nature Boy 2.0   8,315

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Pitcairn Islands
 Timeline
Posted
9 hours ago, Voice of Reason said:

YOU DID IT!!!! YOU MADE A FUNNY!!!!!!

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: 

I thought the same thing

 Mildly amusing but still humorous.  Wonder if ms tbone wrote it 

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   43,065

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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Posted
16 hours ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

Wonder if ms tbone wrote it 

Mrs. T-B. has no detectable sense of humor for written humor.  Visual is a different story.

13 hours ago, Burnt Reynolds said:

TB bought by P&G.

I cannot be bought, and it was by SC Johnson, not P&G.

4 hours ago, Voice of Reason said:

All both of them.

You attended the math section of NB's spelling skool.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Nature Boy 2.0 Veteran

Nature Boy 2.0   8,315

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Pitcairn Islands
 Timeline
Posted
14 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Mrs. T-B. has no detectable sense of humor for written humor.  Visual is a different story.

I cannot be bought, and it was by SC Johnson, not P&G.

You attended the math section of NB's spelling skool.

I suspect her lack of sense of humor,  may not be the issue 

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   43,065

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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Posted
9 hours ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

I suspect her lack of sense of humor,  may not be the issue 

Might be my harem of 6 blondes.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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