Rante Macabre

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Thrilling Friday report, see man:

 

Did not leave the casa all day, furiously selling Pre-Owned Toilet Seats man.

Mowed entire lawn in evening, Many (2+1) sweatbands consumed man.

Got caught trying to sneak last package of Walgreens chocolate-cheap cookies upstairs, caught cheap-handed man.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Important announcement, see and comply man:

 

We have pulled within Many (approx. 2x2x2x2x2) reputation points of the member who dethroned us, si man.

We can reclaim our rightful #1 All-Time VJ Upvote-Getter position with some cooperation, hint hint hint man.

We thank you for your support, Bartles & Jaymes man.

[Lil bear 4,072]

23 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

You have just described the elegant system of P-math, si LB ma'am.  

l’ll be sure to share it with the 1st grade teacher. Expect the teaching of mathematics to be revolutionised as a result .. on me banned from the virtual classroom !!  

 

[TBoneTX 44,679]

We don't see any upvotes for ourself yet,  LB ma'am.

Edited April 18, 2020 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Homeskooling is going well:  2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job, sigh man.

 

Day Many (2+2+1) of Homeskooling:  One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat, si man.

 

Day Many (2+2+2) of Homeskooling:  Our child just said, "I hope I don't have the same teechur next year!"  We're offended, grrr man.

Edited April 18, 2020 by TBoneTX

[NikLR 13,227]

11 hours ago, DaveAndAnastasia said:

Yesterday morning, PRG says she thinks she had some false labor and (other fallopian chant thing) and thinks she will give birth to mini-Dave in a few days. Not very surprised, as he was due in nine days anyway.

 

Yesterday afternoon, she says something rather painful is happening and we should call doctor (note -- this is our first baby, so we're fairly clueless about things that aren't in books). Immediately abandon routine teleconference where I almost always say very little to do so. On-call nurse says it sounds like you're having contractions, so when they reach proper frequency for an hour come in. So an hour later we start packing up and go to hospital.

 

And very early this morning, mini-Dave was born. 😃 Someone may have failed to calculate that if we got to the hospital at 4:30, the odds were pretty good that mini-Dave would not make an appearance until late that night or early this morning, and so only PRG had a change of clothes, toiletries, and such. So I'm home alone for the night (also because pull-out couch in postpartum room, while not horrible, wasn't great either).

Congrats!! Yay!

How big is mini-Dave?

[NikLR 13,227]

11 hours ago, Oliversmom said:

I am sitting here tired of my hair.  It has been forever since I had a haircut and it is driving me crazy.  I am someone who can not stand the feel of long hair.  So I am debating whether to have my husband cut it.  Does he have any experience?  No.  Is he trained?  No.  Has he ever cut anyone's hair?  No.  I asked him and he said "I can try".  What do you think?  Should I go for it?

Worst that can happen is you decide to shave your head. 

Edited April 18, 2020 by NikLR
I cant spell TT

[Lil bear 4,072]

13 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

We don't see any upvotes for ourself yet,  LB ma'am.

Patience TB.  Patience ... 😁

Edited April 18, 2020 by TBoneTX
edit quote

[DaveAndAnastasia 2,082]

12 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

You're the ancestor of a descendant an income-tax deduction,  DA man!

And since he was born this year, some (non-prepaid) stimulus check credit, too.

/think it kind of amusing that despite very little change in my income, based on my 2018 return I would have gotten 0, based on my 2019 return we got $2400, and based on my 2020 return we'd likely (barring me and/or PRG somehow becoming wealthy business typhoons while caring for mini-Dave) get $2900.

 

12 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

And what time*, huh DA man?  And how many lbs*/oz*, huh DA man?

Needed lbs and oz and inches to tell Americans, and PRG needed grams and centimeters to tell Russians (because we were much too tired to do math in our heads or even ask Siri or Google to do it).

But he's 6 lb 5 oz, and 19 3/4" inches long.

 

12 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

     *in strictest P-math, watch it DA man

You already know the answer in that format, man ...

 

12 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

And you won't sleep for the next Many (2+1) years, no zzz DA man.

You're a chicken, si DA man.  Should've stayed, si DA man.

He was born at a little after 1 am. We weren't settled into the postpartum room until about 4. Was much too tired to drive home even on nearly-empty roads then, so slept for a few hours there.

 

12 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

OB-GYN doc observed to us that, Many% of the time, it's the father who look like he's given birth, next morning man.

PRG was wide awake after giving birth, despite getting little sleep the night before or her usual late pregnancy afternoon nap. Claims epidurals are great.

 

Was surprised they thought I was awake enough to be trusted with sharp objects when I cut the cord, but they said I did good.

 

/surprised no "fotos of mini-Dave now" request, but still ...

 

 

[cdneh 3,112]

Beautiful photo, Dad! Congratulations!

[NikLR 13,227]

Congrats on the little guy again! She looks happy! We figured you were tired but please provide photos often!

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Mini-DA has inherited Papa DA's hairstyle, almost certainly man.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Alert... Alert... Alert man...

 

At this writing, we are merely Many (2+2+1) -- yes, merely Many (2+2+1) upvotes away from reclaiming first place, action required man.

Edited April 18, 2020 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Update... update... update man...
 

At this instant, we are ONE upvote south of a tie for first place, action required man.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Cooperative supportive Eh ma'am!  Cooperative, COOPERATIVE supportive SUPPORTIVE Eh ma'am!