k1 Never met her child.

[javadown2 308]

8 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

I know Marawi was usually pretty decent from what I hear and that was a fluke. But you can meet in Illigan or CDO, those are two safe places to meet at and visit until you feel better. I actually have a friend of mine who is living in CDO and loving it, he is a retired white guy and doesn't have any issues. I have been there too and it was great. 

 

 

I didnt mean for this thread to turn into something like this and I apologize for that. It's just when you brought this up it set off red flags in my head.

I love CDO, already have plans to retire there, it’s totally safe in my opinion. What some people don’t understand is that it is actually safe for the locals in the Philippines, but not always safe for foreigners. And in the Philippines it is very common for the grandmother/other family members to raise a child while the mother or father work abroad. 

 

With that said, I do think you should meet the children because in the end you will be supporting them and the whole family, so you might a well get to know them. 

 

 

[javadown2 308]

16 minutes ago, VanDerFran said:

If her city was Davao.. I would meet her in her backyard.. like, just sneak in...  cant say the say the same about other parts of Mindanao...  and lets not forget that Mindanao is under marshall law until end of year...

Give me a break, CDO is about 3 hours or so from the “scary” place your wife’s family is from. It’s totally safe in CDO, and a quick easy drive. Anyways, I’m sure if you don’t meet them your interview will probable be ok, but if the topic comes up about family you might have some explaining to do.

[BnK 367]

When my fiance visited me, Martial Law was just declared. It did worry him and his family as I live just an hour away from Marawi. I felt bad that he was hesitant at first to come visit me in Mindanao but I tried to understand. I do not want him to feel uncomfortable even if I know I've never felt safer here until Martial law was declared. We ended up meeting in Manila and spending only 4 days in my hometown. Our sched was full (dinner with bestfriends, lunch with officemates, family activities-I have a big family). He regretted and felt bad that he only got to spend very few days with my fam.

 

But honestly, I would never want to go to Lanao or Marawi, considering that I am from Mindanao. My uncle was kidnapped in Marawi 3 years ago and we are not even rich. He just happen to work in a company and went there for a supposed business trip with the owner. They kept them both for more than a month until the owner paid ransom... ohh well so much for that

 ... The company i work with has to deal with NPA's too. So I would truly understand and maybe also think twice if I wanted to put my "foreigner" bf in that kind of risk. 

 

Maybe the problem will arise from Filipino interviewer. Being a Filipino he knows how tight families are here and if he finds out you haven't met them, especially the kid, after meeting her a couple of times, that may pose a red flag.

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

9 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Former Marine here with Combat tours under my belt fyi. I was working overseas when I met my wife in Qatar, then I moved over to Afghanistan as contractor. But the first time I went to Mindanao I was really scared because my coworkers kept filling my head full of me being beheaded by Abu, they even had a over/under if I was going to come back at all. 

 

Needless to say I love it there in Davao and I hate Manila.

I used to hate Manila as well, I have grown to like it the past few trips.  Between Cebu, Davao and Manila I would move and live in Davao in a heartbeat.  I spent some time in Makati last trip and went to a mall called Greenhills, I really enjoyed Makita and the mall there, pretty cool and very nice and very clean.

 

I have started to grown fond of the Ermita area as well, it has great night life.  Cebu to me is starting replace Manila for me, It has been almost 5 years since I spent time in Cebu. I will have to revisit it and see what it is like now of days.  But Cebu was more dirty then Manila or at least the areas I stayed in was.

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

Get a room at the marco Polo, big tubs lol

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

7 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Honestly I really love it there it has a nice feel to it and the crime is really really low. I have never really gone out to the clubs/bars there at night due to my asawa not letting me so I can't attest to that but I am sure that @Chris Duffy can say something about that. But we plan on either building or buying a house either in Panabo or Tagum City, we are really looking at Tagum because it's right in the middle of my wife's family pretty much due to her having a very very large family. There is a good mixture of everybody there and it is starting to build up/modernize so we want in. 

I really don't want to see Davao to build up or modernize,  I don't want it to get expensive nor become a major hub for business.  I don't want to see prices rise or it get over crowded.  Davao had been kinda off the map, especially for foreigners since many considered it dangerous, but since Duterte became President I think many more people have started to explore and or move to Davao City.  

 

 

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

Just now, Randyandyuni said:

Get a room at the marco Polo, big tubs lol

I can find hotels within walking distance of Marco Polo for 800 peso per night, A&B hotel near China Town.  I also stay in Regency which is about 1400 peso per night and have huge beds and split fan Air cons, it right off JP Laurel street almost next to Gmall.   Seqouia hotel across street from A&B and it dirt cheap as well.

 

I have spent about 40 weeks in hotels in Davao City area in the last 10 + years.  I have checked out many a hotel there.

 

If you want the best deal on a money changer in Davao City go to Aldevinco Shopping Center, which super close to the Marco Polo, it's Muslim based but best rate on black market money changer.

 

 

[Hank_ 9,174]

11 hours ago, VanDerFran said:

If she insist on me not to go to her city I will bring them to where she feel safe.. 

 

Good plan.   

 

Some are hinting that your fiancee has something to hide, which is why you have not met her daughter or mother,  whereas I think your fiancee is being typical Pinay that cares for her man.     Prove them all wrong ...   

 

Heck there are parts of metro Manila my wife still avoids.  The vast majority of the Philippines is wonderful and the people are wonderful ..     

[Hank_ 9,174]

21 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

You have been there 3 times but never met any family at all, where is she from what province? This smells to me really bad.

 

Just telling you man to man that you need to met her family and go to her place. @Hank

 

I do understand what you are saying .. you love it on Mindanao, your roam the hills, you have a great time.   Whereas, with me, asawako absolutely refuses to go there .. .with or without me.  Heck there are areas around metro Manila she has off limits.

 

I have seen tons of red flag relationships (we both have, but I get the emails and PMs later, and still get them - "what should I do?"), this one doesn't jump out at me.  Now if she absolutely refused to bring her child and mother somewhere more "safe" to meet him ... then I would raise the monster red flag.

 

The Filipina works in metro Manila, so makes since to meet there.  She hasn't refused to allow him to meet her child or mother, just gets her back up in regards to going to Mindanao ... and you know rule #1 when in the Phils .. LISTEN to your fiancee/wife/girl friend.   

 

For now, NOPE, I am not jumping all over this one.

Edited May 26, 2018 by Hank_

[EmilyW 1,548]

I say live your life and live it well.

 

If it all goes wrong and she is hiding something and it all emerges once she gets her Green Card, the good people of VJ are always here to help.

[VanDerFran 10]

2 hours ago, EmilyW said:

I say live your life and live it well.

 

If it all goes wrong and she is hiding something and it all emerges once she gets her Green Card, the good people of VJ are always here to help.

yes... if does not work... we will do like we do to any other thing in our lives... "rinse and repeat" !

 

I will meet them, hopefully before interview, defenlly before she travel here.

[VanDerFran 10]

3 hours ago, Hank_ said:

Good plan.   

 

Some are hinting that your fiancee has something to hide, which is why you have not met her daughter or mother,  whereas I think your fiancee is being typical Pinay that cares for her man.     Prove them all wrong ...   

 

Heck there are parts of metro Manila my wife still avoids.  The vast majority of the Philippines is wonderful and the people are wonderful ..     

It is all good, I like everyones ideas, it is very interesting reading ideas from brothers/sisters here from countries other then Philippines, and we can see the different views, I love the cultural differences.

Yes, Manila is full of surprises...

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

3 hours ago, Hank_ said:

Some are hinting that your fiancee has something to hide, which is why you have not met her daughter or mother,  whereas I think your fiancee is being typical Pinay that cares for her man.     Prove them all wrong ...   

 

I agree

 

I don't see any scam going on either, I think she is just being overly cautious.  Which isn't a bad thing

Edited May 26, 2018 by Chris Duffy

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

13 hours ago, Chris Duffy said:

I can find hotels within walking distance of Marco Polo for 800 peso per night, A&B hotel near China Town.  I also stay in Regency which is about 1400 peso per night and have huge beds and split fan Air cons, it right off JP Laurel street almost next to Gmall.   Seqouia hotel across street from A&B and it dirt cheap as well.

 

I have spent about 40 weeks in hotels in Davao City area in the last 10 + years.  I have checked out many a hotel there.

 

If you want the best deal on a money changer in Davao City go to Aldevinco Shopping Center, which super close to the Marco Polo, it's Muslim based but best rate on black market money changer.

 

 

Just like the hotel 

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

19 hours ago, Randyandyuni said:

Just like the hotel 

I heard it was like a bone to stay there