USC Marriage Fraud experience and what would I do different

[SB5130 88]

5 hours ago, MeAlone said:

This Topic is for to share our experience, many USC are suffering the Marriage Fraud, manipulation, abuse and many things more hurting us for years or for life.

 

Let's share our stories and think what could we do different based on our experience and knowledge now.

Immigrants have all the rights and protection in our country. What do we have, we US citizens? Spending a lot and making a lot of documents for to be with our loved ones. Do we deserve being used, manipulated, abused and even send to jail because of our best feelings and intentions? What kind of legal help do we have? What kind of support?

I personally feel this is an under statement. Everything is case to case. Not all USCs paid everything. 

My husband is the USC but over all he spent $365 for the entire process. Just the 129F petition. I paid my tickets and I paid my own visa fees. 

I had my own money for AOS. I personally organized our documents. All his efforts were to simply signed everything I had already organized, as well as, comfort me when depression kicks in being "stuck" in life and being homesick.

 

4 hours ago, Roel said:

Uhm no. As a foreigner I would NOT want to abandon my life, my job, etc for a whole year just to see if my relationship works out. That would be easy for USC since they are home. K1 IS 90 days for a reason. No one forces you to marry that fast but the idea is that you're suppose to get to know each other before k1 arrival. 

Agree on this! One year is too much to place your life on hold just because the other one can't decide just yet if they are ready to commit and get married. I guess one year is fine, if you don't have a life prior (Probably just sleep at home country and wait for USD monthly allowance from foreign fiance). But, if you are used to working, it is difficult not to feel productive. 

[-Trinity- 513]

15 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

and, guys, I see sometimes here in VJ foreigners attacking verbally Americans, don't bring a foreigner, stick to an American ... sounds aggressive. We all know very well, you can marry the girl/guy next door and being robbed, cheated, abused and scammed, any marriage is a lottery, you can't predict everything and you can't read another person mind. Local marriages fail too.

 

So, please, keep your hate to Americans to yourself or go to any other Topic, so many of them in VJ about abused foreigners and bad Americans, you can stick there all your hateful comments. 

 

This Topic is to help American citizens to prevent and avoid lies, cheating, abuse, big financial lost and even a personal freedom for false accusations and all just because somebody decided to use this American and played an ugly game.

I think that people just have to be cautious, like you would do with any other relationship.

 

Yes, there are people who abuse the American partner to get a GC. But there are also Americans who bring their foreigner partner here, promise them heaven on Earth,zijn and turn out to be a completely different person.

 

As I said, everywhere you have #$@& -ed up people. And if you want to avoid GC don't date a foreigner, it's that simple.

 

Off course this site is dedicated on GC, but alot of people give great and valid advice when they see alot of red flags. Problem often is; the American doesn't listen to their valid advice.

Edited April 5, 2018 by -Trinity-

[MeAlone 158]

OK, please, ad some advice more, what to do for to be a little more safe.

2. Listen your guts. I did but also what interferes a lot in seeing red flags is the thinking, this person I love is in a new country, new environment, it's hard to adapt that's my my loved one changed so much arriving here, that's why he or she criticizes everything, dislikes everything even me, pushes me away, every day so mad at me. Trying to be understanding. But for how long?

 

See if the things are going better or worse. Try to do better for your partner, try to do more to make he/she safe and feel better and observe, is it going better or worse and for how long you can deal with this.

 

If you feel it won't be better but worse, please, listen to yourself, ask maybe a friend or family and don't delay too much. If this person is in it for a green card, it's also possible he/she is also after your assets and accounts. Be wise

Edited April 5, 2018 by MeAlone

[-Trinity- 513]

9 minutes ago, SB5130 said:

I personally feel this is an under statement. Everything is case to case. Not all USCs paid everything. 

My husband is the USC but over all he spent $365 for the entire process. Just the 129F petition. I paid my tickets and I paid my own visa fees. 

I had my own money for AOS. I personally organized our documents. All his efforts were to simply signed everything I had already organized, as well as, comfort me when depression kicks in being "stuck" in life and being homesick.

 

 

I did exactly the same, I paid all the fees. Not because my husband didn't want to, but I had the money, and it's a big chunk to pay for three people. And I've been always taken care of myself financially, I simply can't depend on someone else, even if that's my husband.

 

[MeAlone 158]

I paid all for my ex and his child, visas, tickets, medicals, hotels, I traveled 5 times in 1 year and half of relationship and then 4 months here in my house, everything on me, I helped him in a lot of things thinking he is not rich single father

[Boiler 43,851]

Has been suggested that USCIS should offer a Platinum service so if needed disappointed spouses can get their ex's deported.

[SB5130 88]

6 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

I paid all for my ex and his child, visas, tickets, medicals, hotels, I traveled 5 times in 1 year and half of relationship and then 4 months here in my house, everything on me, I helped him in a lot of things thinking he is not rich single father

Different people have difference circumstances. I don't consider myself rich. and my Philippine Peso isn't worth so much USD either. But I work hard to help out. 

 

I guess the moral lesson is that find someone who works hard and who is willing to work with you in this unknown journey called Life. Marriage is a team thing. One gets burned out carrying all the weight in his shoulders. 

[MeAlone 158]

4 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Has been suggested that USCIS should offer a Platinum service so if needed disappointed spouses can get their ex's deported.

No. I disagree about deporting. The spouse or fiance is NOT a UPS package. If they wish, they should have the way to stay. In my case, when it was all over, all lies came out, I said it is over but I beg you to stay until your green card comes, it was already almost done, we were waiting for his AOS. I said to myself, I am not God to decide, I begged him for his and his children future to get his documents and us to do the divorce, not a problem. He was hiding many things and he run out of US because of his own illegal things. I didn't know many things, he traveled back, then I got the annulment after 4 months he already left.

[Boiler 43,851]

2 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

No. I disagree about deporting. The spouse or fiance is NOT a UPS package. If they wish, they should have the way to stay. In my case, when it was all over, all lies came out, I said it is over but I beg you to stay until your green card comes, it was already almost done, we were waiting for his AOS. I said to myself, I am not God to decide, I begged him for his and his children future to get his documents and us to do the divorce, not a problem. He was hiding many things and he run out of US because of his own illegal things. I didn't know many things, he traveled back, then I got the annulment after 4 months he already left.

So what do you want

[MeAlone 158]

5 minutes ago, SB5130 said:

Different people have difference circumstances. I don't consider myself rich. and my Philippine Peso isn't worth so much USD either. But I work hard to help out. 

 

I guess the moral lesson is that find someone who works hard and who is willing to work with you in this unknown journey called Life. Marriage is a team thing. One gets burned out carrying all the weight in his shoulders. 

Yes, I don't see it bad, paying for all if the fiance is from not a rich country or doesn't have money. I don't regret paying, I regret he wasted it all.

 

and no, in my case I don't look for somebody else, one experience is enough. I had a very good marriage with the American, he passed away. I also learnt the hard way, will not trust anybody anymore.

[MeAlone 158]

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

So what do you want

I wanted him to get his green card, it was all paid and it was approved waiting for to be mailed. To me immigration and marriage are 2 different things. Marriage didn't work but the immigration did. To me is very sad he wasted my 2 years, my best intentions, all payments and even didn't get his immigration documents.

 

Amazing, he left all mad at me as his lies went out of the proportion, but after 1 months back to his country, he loves me again asking for a new visa and coming back. 

[MeAlone 158]

3. what else would I do based on my failed marriage experience? I wouldn't trust so much. No adding to my phone bills and account, no adding his name to my house title (he asked for it, fortunately it was delayed), no keys from my car, me driving him where he and his baby go. I even would think about putting cameras inside of the house. It's hard to think about cameras, I respect privacy but after this experience I say maybe.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Controversy ahead:  Don't marry someone from a country or circumstance that might push them towards seeing America as an economic or situational improvement.   

 

Even if not for visa fraud, just for marriage success purposes.  Having two partners who start on a level playing field preempts so many problems.  

 

Pick someone from a culture very similar to yours, with similar morals, beliefs, and ideas about family.  Don't just listen to their words...know their culture and their background and accept the high likelihood of them being a product of their culture.

 

Further controversy: Stop importing younger spouses to be glorified maids, sex-bots, and rent-a-wombs.  There is a major source of visa woes. 

 

[Boiler 43,851]

3 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

Controversy ahead:  Don't marry someone from a country or circumstance that might push them towards seeing America as an economic or situational improvement.   

 

Even if not for visa fraud, just for marriage success purposes.  Having two partners who start on a level playing field preempts so many problems.  

 

Pick someone from a culture very similar to yours, with similar morals, beliefs, and ideas about family.  Don't just listen to their words...know their culture and their background and accept the high likelihood of them being a product of their culture.

 

Further controversy: Stop importing younger spouses to be glorified maids, sex-bots, and rent-a-wombs.  There is a major source of visa woes. 

 

Realistically and sadly I am not likely to be of interest to local hot totty.

 

And I am probably  not alone.

[MeAlone 158]

I don't have a problem to get a man but fall in love with an intelligent foreigner, too smart and not very moral. It could happen here locally too.

Decided, no more foreigners for me, 1 was enough.

Edited April 5, 2018 by MeAlone