Moving to States (K1)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

Hi Everyone, 

 

Just want to share how is my life here in States. I arrived here on 19th March 2018. Guess what? I started feeling homesick and bored. Before I'm moving here, I always thought that if I prepared myself well, I will not get bored and will not feel homesick. Watching movies, drama, tv show, playing video games and sleeping is few of my favorite things to do! I thought that while he is working, I will be fine by watching Netflix, playing video games, sleeping and learned how to cook American food. I'm totally wrong! I got bored after a week here. On last Wednesday, is the tough time for me, that is the time I feel so stressed and not happy. I even had a thought to go back home (silly right, I knew!). He's super duper worry when I said that, so, yesterday, he (my fiance) texted me and asking whether we can go out for dinner and talk about that. 

 

After he came back from work yesterday, we went out and have dinner. He picks Italian restaurant and we had pizza (my fav!). We didn't talk about I want to go back, we used that time to talk about other things, such as our future together and our plan. I'm super duper duper happy! That is the moment I realized the reason why I'm behaving like that not because I really want to go back, I just feel homesick and bored. Stay inside the house all the time make me stressed out, furthermore, since the weather outside the house is a bit cold, and we keep using the heater, it's dry up the air inside the house and makes my skin really dry! It is stressful to see my skin getting worst from time to time. So, after we had a dinner yesterday, we even go to the shop and bought a big bottle of lotion. 

 

When I read others complaining about them getting bored and homesick when they came here before, I always thought that they not well prepared themselves. Now, I experienced it by myself, I realized that, no matter how well prepared you are, when the time comes, you will feel that. It is not easy to moving out the country and changing most of the thing (such as moving from living in the city to outside the city, from working to not able to work, from able to go anywhere you want to not able to do that since you don't know how to drive and you are not familiar with the area and all nearby places is not walking distance). 

 

I'm super duper lucky because my fiance understands me and he promises that he will take me out as often as he can (walking together, go eat ice cream, drive around, buy grocery and lots more). He's awesome! 

 

pssstttt : Just curious how is other person life when they moving here. Is it tough?

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

By your timeline, the projection sounds like you still will have 5-6 months until even an EAD/AP card since your marriage date is set for May 5 anyways.... definately need to go find some activities near by. Maybe volunteer. Get a pet for some company, ect.

[Going through 5,671]

4 minutes ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

Just curious how is other person life when they moving here. Is it tough?

Welcome to the US!

 

There's always culture shock/an adjustment period when you leave your home country.  I still go through it from time to time and I've been living in the States for more than a decade.

It's good that you were able to get yourself out of the rut on your own, and you'll have periods when it happens again.  One thing I would suggest is exploring ethnic markets in the area where you live and try to pick up ingredients you are familiar with so you can comfort yourself with some comfort food from your home country, sometimes that can help immensely ....glad you have a supportive soon-to-be  husband!

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

Hi my husband went through something similar as you. Some things that were helpful were my family invited him out with them when they had to run errands, etc. See if there are free esl classes you can take if English isn’t your first language, see if your town offers adult ed classes, see if your library has free programs (most likely they do) get a library card and even just being out in public around others helps a bit. It will be better once it warms up. If your fiancé has a bicycle you can go around town. Also see if there are any places you can volunteer- animal shelters, soup kitchens etc. Join a church- or go to different churches until you find one you like- you can meet people there and there are usual weekly activities/get togethers/volunteering opportunities there. Good luck and don’t forget it won’t always be like this! Soon you will be working and have no free time and wish you could just watch Netflix lol

Edited March 29, 2018 by Luckycuds

[doggieandsam 765]

i said this in a similar thread.  i also came on a K1 and for me, it wasn't so much as "homesickness" or being bored at home that bothered me really (because i am happy to stay at home or explore on my own when hubby is at work). it helps that i was able to drive almost as soon as i arrived and the public transport system where i live is very good. what bothered me over time was this feeling of "being stuck" in life, like everybody else around me is getting their approvals, getting job offers, working or my friends back home moving up in their careers or traveling and here i am just "stuck". it is still a struggle for me until now.

 

 

[Crazy Cat 41,978]

@Perfect two 💑  Thank you so much for sharing this.  My wife has been here about 9 months. Since we are both retired, we spend all our time together.  We have a pretty regular routine.  After breakfast, we go to a nearby park and walk about 2 to 3 miles.  We enjoy bird-watching and nature.  If it is rainy or windy, we walk in a nearby mall or we walk the aisles in a department store.  After our morning walk (daily exercise is important for people our age (65 & 60)), we usually go to Starbucks for our morning Blonde Americano.....lol.  Then it's off to the other activities of the day.  We also do all our food shopping together.  I try to take her out to eat often (we have found a few authentic Chinese dishes).  When we aren't out "doing something", she has hobbies which keep her busy.  In addition, she enjoys cooking, and she is excellent!!  Thankfully, she seems happy, and that makes me happy, too.

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

59 minutes ago, Ben&Zian said:

By your timeline, the projection sounds like you still will have 5-6 months until even an EAD/AP card since your marriage date is set for May 5 anyways.... definately need to go find some activities near by. Maybe volunteer. Get a pet for some company, ect.

We in the middle of finding a puppy, hopefully, we can find one soon  

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

57 minutes ago, Going through said:

Welcome to the US!

 

There's always culture shock/an adjustment period when you leave your home country.  I still go through it from time to time and I've been living in the States for more than a decade.

It's good that you were able to get yourself out of the rut on your own, and you'll have periods when it happens again.  One thing I would suggest is exploring ethnic markets in the area where you live and try to pick up ingredients you are familiar with so you can comfort yourself with some comfort food from your home country, sometimes that can help immensely ....glad you have a supportive soon-to-be  husband!

Thank you! That is amazing advice. Yeah, there are some ingredients I can't find at groceries store here. I might need to find one ethnic market. I'm craving for local food (from my country) too. Hope we can find an ethnic market near here.  

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

55 minutes ago, Luckycuds said:

Hi my husband went through something similar as you. Some things that were helpful were my family invited him out with them when they had to run errands, etc. See if there are free esl classes you can take if English isn’t your first language, see if your town offers adult ed classes, see if your library has free programs (most likely they do) get a library card and even just being out in public around others helps a bit. It will be better once it warms up. If your fiancé has a bicycle you can go around town. Also see if there are any places you can volunteer- animal shelters, soup kitchens etc. Join a church- or go to different churches until you find one you like- you can meet people there and there are usual weekly activities/get togethers/volunteering opportunities there. Good luck and don’t forget it won’t always be like this! Soon you will be working and have no free time and wish you could just watch Netflix lol

Having bicycle is a great idea since I don't know how to drive yet. Thanks!  I will try to enjoy this moment as much as I can. But, I miss work life! 

[Crazy Cat 41,978]

1 minute ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

Thank you! That is amazing advice. Yeah, there are some ingredients I can't find at groceries store here. I might need to find one ethnic market. I'm craving for local food (from my country) too. Hope we can find an ethnic market near here.  

Good point.  My wife and I found some excellent Asian markets in our area. My wife is able to find almost everything she could in Taiwan.  Very often, she will cook a dish and she will say "My Mom used to cook this for me".

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

5 minutes ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

We in the middle of finding a puppy, hopefully, we can find one soon  

 

Another thing, may seem small or unimportant.. but like for myself when I lived alone I didn't worry about like a dining table or couple small type pieces of furniture, but when my husband moved in, I let him select some stuff to kind of customize the apartment. Might be a good idea maybe put your own touch on things.

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

49 minutes ago, doggieandsam said:

i said this in a similar thread.  i also came on a K1 and for me, it wasn't so much as "homesickness" or being bored at home that bothered me really (because i am happy to stay at home or explore on my own when hubby is at work). it helps that i was able to drive almost as soon as i arrived and the public transport system where i live is very good. what bothered me over time was this feeling of "being stuck" in life, like everybody else around me is getting their approvals, getting job offers, working or my friends back home moving up in their careers or traveling and here i am just "stuck". it is still a struggle for me until now.

 

 

Awwwwww, sorry to hear how you feel. I might need to learn how to drive soon too. Are you already start working now? 

[doggieandsam 765]

2 minutes ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

Awwwwww, sorry to hear how you feel. I might need to learn how to drive soon too. Are you already start working now? 

thanks. it is what it is and some days are better than others. good luck with the driving lessons. i hope you enjoy driving like me.

 

no, not yet. still job hunting, no luck yet unfortunately.

Edited March 29, 2018 by doggieandsam

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

42 minutes ago, missileman said:

@Perfect two 💑  Thank you so much for sharing this.  My wife has been here about 9 months. Since we are both retired, we spend all our time together.  We have a pretty regular routine.  After breakfast, we go to a nearby park and walk about 2 to 3 miles.  We enjoy bird-watching and nature.  If it is rainy or windy, we walk in a nearby mall or we walk the aisles in a department store.  After our morning walk (daily exercise is important for people our age (65 & 60)), we usually go to Starbucks for our morning Blonde Americano.....lol.  Then it's off to the other activities of the day.  We also do all our food shopping together.  I try to take her out to eat often (we have found a few authentic Chinese dishes).  When we aren't out "doing something", she has hobbies which keep her busy.  In addition, she enjoys cooking, and she is excellent!!  Thankfully, she seems happy, and that makes me happy, too.

Thank you for sharing your experience!  That is awesome, able to spend all the time together. I noticed that sometimes, time spend together is the best cure. I love spending time with him even by doing small things together. Even by sit and having coffee or by walking together. Fresh air + spending time with him makes me overcome my homesickness. Talk about hobbies, you make me think I should start doing my hobby too. I love doing 3d origami!

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

17 minutes ago, doggieandsam said:

thanks. it is what it is and some days are better than others. good luck with the driving lessons. i hope you enjoy driving like me.

 

no, not yet. still job hunting, no luck yet unfortunately.

I hope you will be able to find a job soon. It will make you feel better and of course, I believe that it will make you happier too!