Any Help is greatly appreciated

[TNJ17 1,329]

I think you need to let the lawyers ha dele this one. 

[MeAlone 158]

Maybe wrong, maybe not, and it's not a game or play, the Author needs to protect herself and to get the Annulment, Annulment is better than the divorce as she was PLAYED, he married her faking the marriage, bipolar people can be very manipulative. He already mentioned something about the police. Should the Author let everything happen to her? Even facing the police and legal problems just because she fall in love and married an unstable immigrant who wants his green card at any cost? Using her and abusing her trust?

 

I mentioned, Immigration likely won't do anything, he has his green card, and it's not the vengeance, not the wish to deport him ... It's about the Author's LIFE. If she gets the Annulment, legally she was never married and no burden carry it through life or explain to her future husband or anybody, Annulment is this marriage never existed. Doesn't she deserve to be free from such a player? and the Annulment can be by Fraud, she knows it's a Fraud and gathering more evidence for to have the Annulment by Fraud, it's protecting herself from any further claims from him, legal charges, maybe him claiming the financial support or her troubles in the future. It's much more better for her own safety and her LIFE.

 

All things related to send letters to Immigration is she does it or she does not but that's why our Immigration can't deal with so many cheaters when we have so soft heart and and we keep it silent covering it up

[Boiler 43,790]

4 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Maybe wrong, maybe not, and it's not a game or play, the Author needs to protect herself and to get the Annulment, Annulment is better than the divorce as she was PLAYED, he married her faking the marriage, bipolar people can be very manipulative. He already mentioned something about the police. Should the Author let everything happen to her? Even facing the police and legal problems just because she fall in love and married an unstable immigrant who wants his green card at any cost? Using her and abusing her trust?

 

I mentioned, Immigration likely won't do anything, he has his green card, and it's not the vengeance, not the wish to deport him ... It's about the Author's LIFE. If she gets the Annulment, legally she was never married and no burden carry it through life or explain to her future husband or anybody, Annulment is this marriage never existed. Doesn't she deserve to be free from such a player? and the Annulment can be by Fraud, she knows it's a Fraud and gathering more evidence for to have the Annulment by Fraud, it's protecting herself from any further claims from him, legal charges, maybe him claiming the financial support or her troubles in the future. It's much more better for her own safety and her LIFE.

 

All things related to send letters to Immigration is she does it or she does not but that's why our Immigration can't deal with so many cheaters when we have so soft heart and and we keep it silent covering it up

How many Annulments have you had?

[MeAlone 158]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

How many Annulments have you had?

I did mine by myself, no lawyer and it was granted with screenshots evidence, it was this year

[MeAlone 158]

Annulment in California grounds for the Author situation:

• Either spouse perpetrated a fraud to obtain the other party's consent to marriage. The fraud has to go to the heart, or essence, of the marriage. A good example would be when one spouse persuades the other to marry because of a secret desire to remain in the United States.
• One or both spouses is of "unsound mind" (meaning, a mental condition that prevents them from understanding and appreciating the nature and duties of marriage—including severe intoxication). 

and how much time do you have for to file for it

• If you're filing because you consented to marriage because of a fraud, you have to file within four years of the time you discovered the fraud.
• If you're filing on the basis of an "unsound mind," you can file at any time before you or your spouse die. A relative or conservator of the sick person can also file for annulment.

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/annulment/annulment-basics/california

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Don't forget that if any mail comes to your house for him, that you should just return it to sender, including his greencard.  You don't want to be accused of withholding it from him.

[MeAlone 158]

Fraud and Unsound Mind, gather the evidence and state both in your application, it's very possible to get the Annulment. I my case I had only Fraud

[Voided 55]

1 minute ago, N-o-l-a said:

Don't forget that if any mail comes to your house for him, that you should just return it to sender, including his greencard.  You don't want to be accused of withholding it from him.

I tell him when something comes and he is like oh just keep it I will get it from you. Also same for my keys, I was like you have my keys I am changing the locks and he says oh you don't need to I will make sure you get them or I will come back etc. He is always flip flopping. But yes I will start returning any mail to sender. I told him you need to use another address, he said I don't have one my home is there but I can't return because of so many problems etc. 

[Voided 55]

1 minute ago, MeAlone said:

Fraud and Unsound Mind, gather the evidence and state both in your application, it's very possible to get the Annulment. I my case I had only Fraud

I didn't see that clause about unsound mind when I read over CA annulment process. He is making me have an unsound mind. I am trying to keep it together because I did everything for this man and know I don't deserve this treatment. 

[MeAlone 158]

7 minutes ago, August97 said:

I didn't see that clause about unsound mind when I read over CA annulment process. He is making me have an unsound mind. I am trying to keep it together because I did everything for this man and know I don't deserve this treatment. 

Unsound mind it's not you, it's him flip-flopping, he is insane, you are normal, don't go to him causing you mental issues, he will use it against you saying that's why he is scared of you

[Voided 55]

42 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

It all looked like fraud from the posts until you mentioned his depression and bipolar disorder.
Divorce, but why go further in turning him in for fraud if you have no evidence ? 
A mood disorder can certainly cause this odd behavior and his fears of you may be very real to him even though they may not be valid.
You threatened to have him beat up so yeah that is an indication he is afraid and has illusions of being tracked.
He needs medical help.
Divorce, move on and leave him alone rather than all this trying to entrap him for any evidence.

As far as his illness is concerned I took that into consideration. However, he was taking his meds daily when he was with me as I made sure. A few times when we talked after he left he even showed me on video chat that he was taking them. 

 

I think he is playing this for all it's worth. I say that because he says how afraid he is but he shows up at my job and didn't want to leave. I had to tell him he had to leave because I couldn't talk to him here as I didn't want my coworkers in my business. He wasn't afraid then. I know it was in a public place but still if you're afraid of someone you don't go find them. And he had never been to my job before. I work far from where he is staying in the shelter. He claims he was in the area for work. 

 

Also he claims he is suffering and his life is so miserable but he posts shirtless selfies etc. or different selfies of himself here and there. Since all this happened I haven't been thinking about posting anything, not to mention lack of sleep etc I look a mess. 

 

In addition, he has managed to navigate the public transit system and find his way quickly around the general area where we live. Friends are astounded at how quickly he has found his way. Also, how did he find shelter so quickly? He claims to know no one here but I know people living for years homeless or on the verge of it and he comes here and finds shelter and another job, how to get around the area so quickly. Someone has to be helping him. 

 

His illness may have some play in this but I feel he is very aware of what he is doing. 

 

Before he left I had made him an appointment to be reevaluated since we were not clear on his diagnosis. Also the doctor here said she didn't feel he was on the right meds but couldn't change anything until she saw him. When I mentioned him getting treatment after he left then he really turned on me. 

[dawning 212]

1 hour ago, August97 said:

One night when he was acting strangely I did tell him don't come anywhere near my home because he still has my keys. I was afraid as I have a small daughter.  To try to scare him I said if he tried to come in there my brother and son would beat him up. But it was just talk because I myself was afraid. So now he tries to use that also. But he up and left before that happened. But of course that didn't help and my son is mad at me for saying that and it was stupid I shouldn't have.  However at that moment I was hurt and  afraid as his mom was saying it sounded like he was in a mental crisis and that I needed to call someone and get him help etc.  

 

45 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

It all looked like fraud from the posts until you mentioned his depression and bipolar disorder.
Divorce, but why go further in turning him in for fraud if you have no evidence ? 
A mood disorder can certainly cause this odd behavior and his fears of you may be very real to him even though they may not be valid.
You threatened to have him beat up so yeah that is an indication he is afraid and has illusions of being tracked.
He needs medical help.
Divorce, move on and leave him alone rather than all this trying to entrap him for any evidence.

While I am not an expert I tend to agree with Ebunoluwa on this.  If I were the judge hearing evidence that has so far been presented, I would not be at all convinced of fraud on the husband's part, although it does sound like he has some mental health problems.  (Mental health problems could co-exist with fraud I don't deny, but so far everything that the OP is calling fraud sounds like it is just him trying to survive in his world, just as the OP is trying to protect herself in this difficult situation.)

 

Bringing a spouse from another country away a support network and then threatening him or her with violence if s/he comes near what was supposed to be his/her home would seem in my mind to qualify as domestic violence.  Anyone can say "it was just talk" after the fact, but threats have an effect on people. 

 

It seems like cutting contact and divorcing would be the safest and healthiest for both parties.

 

Good luck!

[LionessDeon 2,060]

50 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

We posted this at about the same time and I totally agree that the game playing is just wrong in this case.

Great minds think alike!

20 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

I did mine by myself, no lawyer and it was granted with screenshots evidence, it was this year

What works for one may not work for another.  

11 minutes ago, August97 said:

I tell him when something comes and he is like oh just keep it I will get it from you. Also same for my keys, I was like you have my keys I am changing the locks and he says oh you don't need to I will make sure you get them or I will come back etc. He is always flip flopping. But yes I will start returning any mail to sender. I told him you need to use another address, he said I don't have one my home is there but I can't return because of so many problems etc. 

Return all mail to post office, change your locks, file for divorce/annulment, cut off all contact that is how you protect yourself without games and drama.  Save texts messages if you have them but purposely baiting him is not right in my opinion.  If you don't see him, contact him, or threaten him what evidence would he have IF he did go to the police??  Doesn't that make the baiting and entrapment unnecessary??  

 

 

[Voided 55]

2 minutes ago, dawning said:

 

While I am not an expert I tend to agree with Ebunoluwa on this.  If I were the judge hearing evidence that has so far been presented, I would not be at all convinced of fraud on the husband's part, although it does sound like he has some mental health problems.  (Mental health problems could co-exist with fraud I don't deny, but so far everything that the OP is calling fraud sounds like it is just him trying to survive in his world, just as the OP is trying to protect herself in this difficult situation.)

 

Bringing a spouse from another country away a support network and then threatening him or her with violence if s/he comes near what was supposed to be his/her home would seem in my mind to qualify as domestic violence.  Anyone can say "it was just talk" after the fact, but threats have an effect on people. 

 

It seems like cutting contact and divorcing would be the safest and healthiest for both parties.

 

Good luck!

It was stupid on my part but I was angry.  Also, he left his home before I said anything of the sort. Told me it wasn't his home and he wanted to go back to his country.  Even tried leaving the weekend before and I convinced him to stay. I did everything in my power but he left.  My family even went out of their way to try to make him feel comfortable. 

 

Even his mother said I know you didn't mean it and he knows it too, he is just embarrassed the way he left and doesn't know how to fix it. 

 

He was rude and talking bad to me and his mother before he left. She messaged me one day asking if I was ok because she knew if he was talking bad to her he was also talking in that manner to me. I said yes he is but I am trying to be understanding and be as supportive as I can. But nothing helped. So he used an argument as an excuse to pack his bags and go. 

[MeAlone 158]

5 minutes ago, LionessDeon said:

Great minds think alike!

What works for one may not work for another.  

Return all mail to post office, change your locks, file for divorce/annulment, cut off all contact that is how you protect yourself without games and drama.  Save texts messages if you have them but purposely baiting him is not right in my opinion.  If you don't see him, contact him, or threaten him what evidence would he have IF he did go to the police??  Doesn't that make the baiting and entrapment unnecessary??  

 

 

It is NOT baiting and entrapment. It's getting the evidence she already knows about