Does anyone else feel totally depressed?

[caliliving 606]

6 minutes ago, janet3 said:

I am going to throw my two cents in here...

I am a small business owner....I employ 17 people. And as far as I know....everyone that has replied to you is correct.....

Make your resume short and sweet (list your past employment but not your wages)

Don't list higher degrees (unless asked/required) but focus on work you have done.

Your goal is to get in the door and then shine. 

 

I agree with this but not every job has growth potential ect...i woild say ur job is to get some us based job experience on your resume, network and also leaen the us style of work and get out of the house/friends.

Getting us work experience is huge to employers as well. Its a differenr work environment overseas...i wouldnt focus on getting in and moving up (altho u can way that at the meeting) bc u can always do lateral movemebts. 

[caliliving 606]

do you have a linkedin profile? that is a great base and recruiters will always hit u up on there plus you can look for jobs.  what industry are you in?  austin is a great place and its booming so many new industries are arriving there (from what im told) it seems like a good area.  

the person in albany new york (not sure your industry) that is a smaller city so I command you as i feel it would be a very hard place to find a job (smaller city, lots of "who you know not what you know"). and also job prospects there are very very limited.   

 

 

[janet3 1,170]

3 minutes ago, caliliving said:

I agree with this but not every job has growth potential ect...i woild say ur job is to get some us based job experience on your resume, network and also leaen the us style of work and get out of the house/friends.

Getting us work experience is huge to employers as well. Its a differenr work environment overseas...i wouldnt focus on getting in and moving up (altho u can way that at the meeting) bc u can always do lateral movemebts. 

I agree completely. Once you aquire work experience here you will have more knowledge as what is available here  (and more opportunities through contacts). It is unfortunate...but you may have to accept a job that is a bit below your experience (or expectations or expertise). But it will work out....

Best wishes for your journey...

[Balamban 113]

Depression is like quicksand.  Do not put your foot in it, for you may get sucked in.  Jog, work out, hike, get your heart rate to the proper rate for you for 35 minutes each day and it'll create endorphins that beat Prozac with no adverse side effects.  Succumb to depression and the smell of it will stick to you and affect your ability to find a job and worse, potentially damage your relationships.

 

America is not the America of even a decade ago.  It's the best of times, and the worst of times (thank you Mr. Dickens).  For those who "have," it's a great time, for those who haven't and aren't on public support it's a terrible time but spend some time in 3rd world countries and well, often even the homeless have it better here than there.  If you have a job that earns a family income of ~$53k/year (current median household income) or more, life is good.  If you earn much less, depending upon where you live, life is difficult.

 

We haven't a clue as to whether you are a highly skilled recyclable sorter or a brain surgeon so it's hard to approach the resume thing.  In my book, resumes only find jobs indirectly.  Read up on how larger (100+ ee's) use resumes then tailor your resume to how things are done today.  Let's say there are 2,000 applicants for a juicy job--well, 1,950 are never touched nor viewed by a human.  They are searched electronically for keywords, the top 40-70 are pulled and looked at based upon "hits."  Then the viewer spends about 90 seconds trashing most of them leaving a small pile whose resume lists the skill sets and action words that are deemed necessary.  Compared to some years ago, it's nasty, or nice--should you just happen to have the skill set that is desired and know how to present it to the electronic eye.  Are you on linkedin?  Have you joined a professional group in your field?  Have you become a member that puts an effort into the group?  Do at least 40 people in your field know that you are looking, have you asked them to keep an eye out?  That is how jobs are found today.

 

Overqualified sometimes mean a skill set that is antiquated.  I'm not saying that's your case but I often hear "I have a degree in information technology," and can't find a job.  Yeah, of course you can't because we import a large number of H1B candidates that will work for 2/3 what an American expects.  This is not some theory it's what three separate groups that came to look at an apartment that I own and rent and it happens to be near a company that uses a large number of IT folk. 

 

These times demand change.  They also demand mobility.  Don't change, refuse to be mobile, stay unemployed.  My residence (my house) is a 5 hour round trip, why?  Because I enjoy it on weekends and during the week I rent an apartment near where I work.  Were I not willing to do this, it's simple--I would not have a job and I would not be here working on a K-1 because I'd not have the assets or income. I'm "older."  Once I was a tool and die maker, but that ended.  Then I became a geologist and mining in America ended.  Then I became a chemist but one computer device replaced 20 chemists so my job there went *poof*.  Three BS degrees, good experience, but NO demand = dead end.  In all those areas I'm "overqualified," because those skills are not in demand.

 

So I went to where the jobs were and went back to school and got a associates degree in nursing and started at the bottom rung. Now, 15 years later I do quite well but frankly I've worked my tail off and have developed specific skills that are in demand and I still worry about losing my job, slowdowns, economic upturns like the crash of 2008.  And now my multiple BS degrees mean nothing, well actually they do because knowledge of any sort is golden and by the way, when you're really, really having hard times--that is the very best time to go back to college.  Demographics are changing every year, demand changes and that's why a tool and die maker ended up as a nurse with a job.  Think out of the box, develop your network, get a part-time job, network some more.  It's people you know who often get you in the door.

 

I've suggested to a few people: Go to school to become an CNA/LNA, in most states the course is free or reimbursable.  Work for a year, get an associates degree, poof you're an RN, your pay went from $12 to $26/hour and you're on your way and often the place that you work will pay for half or more.  Think out of the box.   Remember "laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone (From the poem Solitude).

Edited March 31, 2017 by Balamban

[laci1806 15]

My husband is depressed. He's been here since November and just got his driving permit but not his license yet. He wants to work and he can't yet. He helps out at home with cooking and cleaning or fixing things but he wants to feel like he's providing financially for our family. He says he doesn't feel like a husband or a man.   And it doesn't help that I, as the wife, have to teach him to drive, explain the dos and don'ts of our culture, and take care of mostly everything. It's really hard on him and us because when he's feeling depressed the rest of the family feels it too. Looking forward to him getting EAD. 

[valentina1 1]

I felt like this for a couple of months, very depressed, not having any family or friends is hard. And feeling like youre not providing anything is hard too. I was very frustrated by sending my package, and had to wait to get it sent back because of mistakenly not putting the biometrics fee.

 

I think the hardest part is coming into a country different from youre own, leaving your friends and family behind. You just have to relax and find some hobbies to entertain yourself for a bit. I started working out and cleaning around the house. It is a long process but it will be worth it.

[tariq_a 6]

34 minutes ago, valentina1 said:

I felt like this for a couple of months, very depressed, not having any family or friends is hard. And feeling like youre not providing anything is hard too. I was very frustrated by sending my package, and had to wait to get it sent back because of mistakenly not putting the biometrics fee.

 

I think the hardest part is coming into a country different from youre own, leaving your friends and family behind. You just have to relax and find some hobbies to entertain yourself for a bit. I started working out and cleaning around the house. It is a long process but it will be worth it.

Been there my friend and i still am. I found other things to occupy me besides house work lol. I take my dogs to the park meet people chit-chat, I go to the Gym and you know interact with people too, I sometimes hangout with my neighbor which is fun i got the know the people around. Honestly for the past 6 months while waiting for EAD and AOS, I feel like my wife and I are inseparable where ever she goes I go. I got my EAD last month but still no luck with jobs been turned down for being overqualified. but I have not given up yet.

 

anyway wish you all the best it will work out.

[Angel&Eric 185]

13 hours ago, thrashunreal said:

Not a question but just - is anyone else having a hard time?

 

This whole process has been so stressful and draining, our local field office is San Antonio so I am not holding my hopes up that I will be getting my greencard anytime soon (we filed mid November), I've spent every waking, breathing moment here worrying about money and just feeling very displaced, unsettled and scared that I'll be sent home packing while USCIS take their sweet time allowing our case file to gather dust.

 

I also am finding it hard to job hunt and haven't had any luck despite having a LOT of retail and office experience and exclusively applying for roles I feel I am probably overqualified for. Feel like my resume must be a huge turn off or something?

 

Bleh I hope y'all are having a nice Thursday.

Have you considered working with a temp agency?

 

Sometimes they are about to get you in the door so that you can show an employer what you are capable of.  It also allows you to job shop while earning income.  Also great for building references and a local network.

 

[BadCivilServant 10]

Friend, I wouldn't say I'm depressed. But I am annoyed.

 

My USC wife filed the I-130 for me back in September. Still waiting for the stinking thing to be approved. Then of course, the fun REALLY starts (NVC, Consular processing, etc).  Meanwhile I get multiple e-mails from VisaJourney every day telling me about how everyone else has updated their timelines.

 

Frankly, my beautiful trophy wife is angrier than I am. She keeps saying, "I'm going to knock you over the head, drag you across the border and tell the officer I'm kidnapping you and dragging you down to Florida with a big ol' smile on your face!"

 

Our apartment is mold-infested. We have to get out of here. Back in February, we gave notice for the end of May. To comply with the domicile requirements, we made a trip from Niagara Falls down to Orlando to arrange me wife's transfer to that city (she works for one of those "theme" chain restaurants that sell $25 hamburgers). Apparently, they are still waiting for an opening to fit her in. We couldn't get an apartment or house either because we just couldn't get past the screening filters on the various real estate apps. In short, we came back from Orlando empty handed.

 

I wanted to be interviewed by a prospective employer (I work for a railway) so that I could hit the ground running when I DO get my green card. Couldn't even do that.

 

I'm sending my wife back down to Orlando at the end of April and putting her up in an AirBnB while she finds a job and a house. I have most of May and all of June off for leave of absence / vacation, so I'm going to join her then. Hopefully she'll have found a place by then because I'll have no place to live up here.

 

I only hope I get my green card by the end of June. Fingers crossed. I really don't want to come back to The Falls and leave my wife alone for however much longer this takes. 

 

Then all I have to do is get a job! How hard can it be? 

[A'n'L 735]

10 hours ago, caliliving said:

Make sure a US resume is no longer then 1 page!!! seriously.. it was super hard, but fix the margins and bold the font and you will be able to keep it ONE PAGE MAX!!!!!! take out irrelevant work!

people do not want to hire you for a job you are overqualified for!! its so frustrating.. so make sure you apply for a job you are a PERFECT FIT for or else its a waste of your time/energy.

if you are going to apply for a lower job, then you need to 'dumb' yourself down and take off your resume! you need to delete that grad degree or even undergrad and experience from the resume and not bring it up in the interview.

 

I just don't feel like lying though - so that's a hard barrier to cross. What have you been doing the last five years? Uhh, just low-level lab work.... (Certainly not getting a PhD and working as a researcher...) I just yesterday got contacted by a company in Norway saying they would create a research position for me if I "changed my mind" and moved back. Here, I can't even get an interview as an unskilled lab tech.

[TabeaK 516]

19 hours ago, thrashunreal said:

Not a question but just - is anyone else having a hard time?

 

This whole process has been so stressful and draining, our local field office is San Antonio so I am not holding my hopes up that I will be getting my greencard anytime soon (we filed mid November), I've spent every waking, breathing moment here worrying about money and just feeling very displaced, unsettled and scared that I'll be sent home packing while USCIS take their sweet time allowing our case file to gather dust.

 

I also am finding it hard to job hunt and haven't had any luck despite having a LOT of retail and office experience and exclusively applying for roles I feel I am probably overqualified for. Feel like my resume must be a huge turn off or something?

 

Bleh I hope y'all are having a nice Thursday.

US immigration is a pretty jarring process, especially if you come from a liberal European country and are used to having your freedoms, to drive, to work, to travel - without being beholden to a massive bureaucracy that takes it sweet time and where you pay thousands of dollars for the process but have no control.

 

I absolutely know how you are feeling, I was the same after the move & beginning AOS. At the time, I was probably depressed. Spent days in my PJs not leaving the house. My husband got really upset at times because he felt guilty - he figured I moved to be with him and was now very unhappily stuck in limbo after giving up a great life in Europe. We had a few fights over it as well - partially because he also couldn't quite understand completely why this process got me so down. He figured it just takes waiting and couldn't quite grasp why I couldn't just enjoy the time off. So yeah, I hear ya. Retrospectively, I would not do a K1 again - my mental health suffered too much in the process.

 

Things got better once I got my EAD/AP/Driver's license and could focus on finding a job. The feeling of unsettledness is still there for me - despite having a great job now and trying to integrate and 15 months living in the US - it will probably be at least another year or two to feel really at home.

 

Feel free to send me your resume (PN) to take a look at - I used to live and work in the UK, so I am familiar with the UK format as well as the US format. Maybe I can help!

[yuna628 9,530]

1 hour ago, A'n'L said:

I just don't feel like lying though - so that's a hard barrier to cross. What have you been doing the last five years? Uhh, just low-level lab work.... (Certainly not getting a PhD and working as a researcher...) I just yesterday got contacted by a company in Norway saying they would create a research position for me if I "changed my mind" and moved back. Here, I can't even get an interview as an unskilled lab tech.

Agreed. I wouldn't recommend being dishonest to an employer either, especially if you're going into a specialized field of career. America is about being proud of your accomplishments! The biggest thing I think employers here are looking for is American experience. Which is going to be hard just starting out unless you can really relate how the skills and foreign experience you already have could be a net benefit in the new position (tailoring the resume is really important here). The job my husband got asked for a high school degree, work experience, and certifications if possible. Of course he didn't have the certifications, but he did have a degree and years of experience working at an American company in the UK. The employer really liked that factor. Often times it's just about getting face-to-face time with the hiring manager, where the person can get an overall feel for you, rather than just a blank face with endless stacks of paper.

[TabeaK 516]

18 hours ago, Absolutely said:

Out of interest, how long is your CV? I worked in recruitment in the UK and would often see CV's longer than a book, but if they read well then that would be fine. Here, if it's longer than one page, it's a problem. It may already be short and I may be teaching you to suck eggs, but that's the first thing I'd recommend is to edit it down to the essentials.

Depending on the field. In retail & basic office jobs, absolutely, a 1 pager is the way to go.

I am in a specialized scientific field and my resume/CV has 4 pages - it was never an issue and I rarely ever see resumes shorter than 3 pages in my field.

[ScarletNIW 5]

19 hours ago, thrashunreal said:

Not a question but just - is anyone else having a hard time?

 

This whole process has been so stressful and draining, our local field office is San Antonio so I am not holding my hopes up that I will be getting my greencard anytime soon (we filed mid November), I've spent every waking, breathing moment here worrying about money and just feeling very displaced, unsettled and scared that I'll be sent home packing while USCIS take their sweet time allowing our case file to gather dust.

 

I also am finding it hard to job hunt and haven't had any luck despite having a LOT of retail and office experience and exclusively applying for roles I feel I am probably overqualified for. Feel like my resume must be a huge turn off or something?

 

Bleh I hope y'all are having a nice Thursday.

Here is my story:

I came to USA (Massachusetts) in Feb 2014 with a J1 subject to two-year rule and fell in love with a guy (not US citizen!) in LA. I had to go back to my country in Feb 2015 to finish my PhD, then I travelled back and forth for one year and a half, once every 2-3months. I got a grant to come back to Massachusetts in May 2016 as post doc with a J1 visa. After I decided to stay in USA I filed J1 waiver in September and EB2-NIW greencard in November. My Embassy was on vacation for a month: it took 2 months to get the no objection statement. Then Department of State did not receive the statement...I had to contact several times the embassy and DOS for 3 weeks. DOS took 12 weeks to release the favorable recommendation and now my case is stuck at USCIS for no reason. Meanwhile I got approval for EB2-NIW in February and I also got married (it's a long distance marriage!). Now, my visa will expire in 2 months and without the waiver I cannot adjust my status to permanent resident. If I don't get it before June, I'll lose my job, have to go back to my country and wait up to one year for the immigrant visa processing without the possibility to see my husband....  
Tot paid in immigration issues 12000$

Other issues: I slipped on ice and broke my ankle one week before marriage. I got just 3 weeks for "sick time" and had to go back and work in the lab in a bad condition. I am still going to physical therapy after three months!
 

I am depressed and had to ask for a day off at work. 

This is not having a hard time...it's a "horrible time"!

[Charming12 59]

11 hours ago, caliliving said:

do you have a linkedin profile? that is a great base and recruiters will always hit u up on there plus you can look for jobs.  what industry are you in?  austin is a great place and its booming so many new industries are arriving there (from what im told) it seems like a good area.  

the person in albany new york (not sure your industry) that is a smaller city so I command you as i feel it would be a very hard place to find a job (smaller city, lots of "who you know not what you know"). and also job prospects there are very very limited.   

 

 

Yeah agree but I can't relocate to TX due to my wife reidency job in NY. I will wait for couple of more months and then will see. Infact, I did get an offer from TX but didnt take it due to EAD issue and also relocation problem. The Oil industry is recovering from crises, hopefully, wont have a problem in future. By the way, my background is in Geology and Safety engineering