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About Balamban

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Member # 253424
  • Location Concord, NH, USA

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    New Hampshire
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Immigration Info

  • Immigration Status
    K-1 Visa
  • Place benefits filed at
    California Service Center
  • Local Office
    Manchester NH
  • Country

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  1. 700,00 PHP over three years with no complaints...other than occasional blatant scam attempts. Then when, rather abruptly I could not come up with 3.2 million peso, whammo... I thought that the post might be useful, especially of one read the beginning, but this has turned into something else. notantifun, at this point you're simply being a bully. For the rest of those who posted civilly, salamat.
  2. Though I am not worried about the financial obligation for a person who worked last week for 88 hours is unlikely ever to be a public charge, yes, I thought that the financial obligation ended when the immigrant accrued 40 quarters which, I think, also makes them eligible for social security.
  3. I'm lost now. I thought a resident alien immigrant with a Green Card, who acquired 40 quarters or ten years of work could become a naturalized citizen. I admit that I'm not familiar with the process of an immigrant becoming a full citizen.
  4. True, her education was very poor. Still she managed to become fluent in English and get up to 7th grade in Math, all in two years. Nope. she was 24, she knew what she was doing, we discussed the age gap. Clearly you see a problem with this similar to the website Plenty of Fish which forbids any search greater than 14 years. I have no problem with your mores, but they do not dictate ours. The couple that I was referring to are not divorced, they live down the street. My concern was simple. Her moma does not have Philhealth because she does not have a birth certificate or a baptismal certificate. I tried to find a way that we could buy Philhealth for her in the absence of a birth certificate. I went so far as to send a letter to the church where she was born hoping to find a birth certificate. I failed. It was my choice to try to make sure she, at least, had Philhealth. Thank you for your input.
  5. How so, sooner? One can only accumulate 4 quarters a year? Am I missing something?
  6. Thank you for points of view. My wife is now almost fluent in English, and has a very good vocabulary. Yes she tends to get “th” wrong, but so does half the world. We spent much of the 1st year together with her learning and our city has an exceptional English as Second Language and she did quite well. The reality is that there is no language barrier for her. I do wish that I had learned at least conservational Bisaya, so there is a language barrier for me. Just how is it clear, pray tell, that the dynamic was problematic? The reality was that we had a fun, loving relationship until about a month ago which was brought on by our being one single day late on a remittance. Just yesterday she had stopped by and said: “I told the family that I still wanted to see you,” they said, “no, no, you will be on Calvary.” Now I’m not sure what Calvary was but it was clear that they did not want her talking to me. Anyone know what "Calvary" is to a Filipina? I shall agree that there was poor boundaries between us and the family, they expected a farm within 3 years, plain and simple. If only I had known I was under a time constraint. I fail to see any “power dynamics,” or any misrepresentation between us. Perhaps you’d like to clarify? Are you implying that a large age gap always equals a power dynamic issue and misrepresentation? As far as the age gap, the couple that she is currently renting a room from has a 37 year age gap, they have been married now for 17 year. Large age gaps are not uncommon and a simple age gap does not in itself predict a marital failure.
  7. Such a sweet story, thank you, excepting the part about your mom and the dog.
  8. Kubler-Ross was spot on, and I'm not sure if I'm stuck in the bargaining phase, the denial phase, or the acceptance phase, but it always ends there. Yes, I learned it when I studied to be a RN also. She'll become a US citizen when she accumulates, what is it 40 quarters of work? That'll be 34 quarters to go, that'll be 8.5 years. I'm not worried either way.
  9. Carpe Vinum, I see that you saw that yes, "she works a lot." She worked for about half of our relationship. Recently she's started working "a lot," and after leaving "a very lot," meaning about 88 hours this last week. She's an impressive worker and I suspect one of the most valued at the place where she works. She'll do well though I fear because her family will bleed her dry and she'll eventually find a new guy and likely marry, and then the pressures will double. But that's her problem (or not, as the future shall tell). Since there is no hostility at all (sadness, yes) it was no big deal to divide assets fairly and that was nice, she's leaving with a good amount in savings.
  10. Thank you. If asked, I would attend and I would point out that for 3 years it was a truly wonderful bonafide relationship. The irreconcilable differences are real, I want to stay, the family says I must go, the wife gives priority to the family. End of story.
  11. I'm sorry that you read it that way. In no way was my dear wife ever considered a commodity. I apologize if I came across that way, and please remember that the conflict was not between me and my asawa (wife) it was between us and the family. It is painfully clear that I am being considered by the family, a commodity or rather an ATM, yet I don't take offense at that.
  12. Thank you African Zealot. I took no offense as I believe that the poster was from NZ and now lived in Seattle, Washington. To call someone "simple" in America tends to mean they are a "dolt," or stupid person. The definition in the Philippines is non-derogatory.
  13. Thank you HRQX. I really wasn't looking for an "out," and I'm really not worried about needing one though some will say, "anything is possible." She's a wonderful woman, a wonderful life partner and all that. God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change... and all that.
  14. Am I correct in thinking that it's the I-134 in my case? I'm not particularly worried about being "on the hook." But wonder about options if I have any. The way I see it is, she has the Green Card and the only thing that could change that would be if they pulled us in for a 2nd interview and USCIS determined if it was not a bonafide relationship. They could refuse to adjust status. (Btw, we're not divorced yet) Interestingly, it was bona fide, until the "family" took over which might make it no longer bona fide. The reason I'm not worried about being "on the hook," is that this last week she worked 88 hours. Really. She loves to work, and works too much. I doubt that she'd ever be on the dole. Sure, it's always possible but very unlikely. Is there any way to promote being called in for a final interview. Interestingly I have a recording of her telling how her family is demanding that she divorce me. My state could care less, since we're no-fault but then there is the question: If an immigrant divorces her husband via a demand from the family, with intent to find a richer ATM... If I were a USCIS officer I'd have issues with that.
  15. Thinking about what you said Boiler: "She's been here a bit more than three years. She got her first Green card which has expired, but has the letter of extension through to sometime next year. I'd appreciate if you can, pointing me in the right direction. I have honored all my promises to the letter. In our wedding vows she promised to "love, honor and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him forever." I promised the same. I don't recall the words.... "or until the family tells you to divorce him and find a richer guy."
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