Impact of not using my K-1 visa

[j0hnie 0]

A little background first. I am a young man from a western European country. I met my girlfriend 4 years ago when we were both working in a different country. After a few months we both left for new jobs in our own countries but kept in contact every day and visited each other 2 or 3 times a year. I am from a visa waiver program country so I used ESTA at first but then decided to get a B2 visa to make travel that bit easier. As time went on we felt that we needed to be close to each other to realistically continue the relationship. Because of the nature of her work she has to stay where she is in the US for a few more years at least (she is eligible for an EU passport so could come here freely at that stage), so I tried to get a US visa. I applied for and got a job in the US. However, the (very small) company messed up the paperwork for the visa (I can't remember what type visa it was) so they (not I) got rejected.

I gave up on that route and was very disheartened. We discussed what our options were and eventually my girlfriend asked me to marry her as it was the only option that made sense. We love each other and want to be close to each other and that is what would eventually happen anyway. Marriage is a big step which I don't take lightly, but it was the only way to develop our relationship further, so I said yes.

​I've gone through the whole process, done the medical, interviews etc. I have the k1 visa in my passport. Now all I have to do is take the flight (which is booked) and get married. It has been very smooth sailing so far. I am in a position I am sure many on this forum are envious of. I have one month to go but now I'm getting very hesitant and having second thoughts.

I'm the kind of person who likes to know all the worst possible scenarios before I go through with something, just so that I am prepared. What I'd like to know is what will happen if I don't use my visa. Will it affect my future trips to the US if I don't use the visa, if for example I don't take that flight and the visa expires, or if I go there, don't get married and come home again soon after, within the 90 days? Or if we simply break up and I want to visit the US a year or two or ten from now, what will happen? What if I then eventually meet a different US citizen and we want to get married, am I out of chances? Will I default back to a B2 visa or ESTA? Worst of all, what if we do get married and then divorce? I know I'd have to leave, but what would happen if I came back, to visit or through another visa, in future?

I know that there are a lot of questions and they are quite negative in tone, but I feel like if I know the facts I can make a better decision. I am afraid that subconsciously part of me is going through with this for fear of the repercussions if I don't.

I truly love her and I do think about being married and having a family with her, but I do have these second thought too. Please, help me at least know the possible pitfalls in the scenarios I described above. Thank you!

​

[Darnell 8,478]

2nd thoughts seem to vanish as your getting a largish waft of her hair, aye !

[C-ma'am 684]

The way I see it, which in no way means it's the way you should, marrying someone because "it makes sense" is not a good idea to marry someone. You are second guessing this from the start and it's good that you are doing so.... you may love her to the moon and back, but something is making you have these second thoughts.

If I were you, I would do a very sincere evaluation of what's about to happen to you both. Marriage is not for everyone and that is ALRIGHT. This may not be the path to follow, but you are the only one that knows that..... and yes, you know it... you may not want to accept the conclusions you are arriving to, but you most certainly know the answer to your predicament.

Good luck! Be honest to yourself and be honest to the other person whose life will also change, no matter what the decision is.

[j0hnie 0]

Thank you for your response Celeste & C. I agree with what you are saying. The truth is I am very confused so the answer is not totally clear to me, even if I am being truly honest with myself. That is why I ask for those facts. The more information I have the clearer the final decision will be. I know all of the pros, now I need to know the cons.

Does anyone know the legal ramifications to the scenarios I described above?

[Mike-eeh and Odie 192]

Thank you for your response Celeste & C. I agree with what you are saying. The truth is I am very confused so the answer is not totally clear to me, even if I am being truly honest with myself. That is why I ask for those facts. The more information I have the clearer the final decision will be. I know all of the pros, now I need to know the cons.

Does anyone know the legal ramifications to the scenarios I described above?

I think many people in your position get second thoughts, my wife certainly did, and it wasn't because she did not love me, but rather she was going to leave everything she knew behind just to marry me. What if I was a horrible person? What if things did not work out? What would happen? It's perfectly normal to be experiencing a bit of anxiety and cold feet. I remember my wife calling me a week before her flight asking if she could wait one more month to fly. I told her, "Baby, you need to do this now, because if you do not, you never will get on that plane. I am a good man and will always take care of you. We'll visit your family and friends every year, so think of it as a long vacation in the USA." She did get on her scheduled flight and had no regrets since. In my opinion, marry her, if she is truly the love of your life. You will have no regrets and all your current fear and anxieties will soon fade, trust me.

Now to answer your questions:

1.) What I'd like to know is what will happen if I don't use my visa. Will it affect my future trips to the US if I don't use the visa, if for example I don't take that flight and the visa expires, or if I go there, don't get married and come home again soon after, within the 90 days? Or if we simply break up and I want to visit the US a year or two or ten from now, what will happen? What if I then eventually meet a different US citizen and we want to get married, am I out of chances?

Well here's the thing, if you do not use your visa, it expires and you will have to start all over again. You can however, ask for an extension on your visa before it expires, but you should do that at least a month before. Also, should you decide not to use the visa, it could be slightly problematic to visit the USA, as a K-1 visa shows immigrant intent. On the other hand, by not using the visa, it could also prove that you have no interest in staying in the USA, and would return home. It's a catch 22, and something you need to prove to a CBP officer upon entry.

If you do use your K-1 however, and decide not to marry in 90 days, you simply leave the country. If in the future that you decide to do another K-1 (with the same person), you may face a bit of scrutiny as to why you did not marry in the first place. If you meet another US Citizen within a short period of time after your first K-1 attempt, and decide the K-1 route, a CO may see your case as you simply trying to enter the USA by any means possible, and you would face extra scrutiny. But scrutiny can be overcome with solid evidence.

4.) Will I default back to a B2 visa or ESTA?

Your B2 will be canceled the moment you enter the USA on a K-1, so my guess is you would fall back to ESTA. Note that getting another B2 may be difficult as you already proved immigrant intent by using a K-1visa.

5.) Worst of all, what if we do get married and then divorce? I know I'd have to leave, but what would happen if I came back, to visit or through another visa, in future?

Well that all depends, really if you received a green card or not. If you received your green card, you can stay. If you did not remove your conditions on your 2 year green card, you can always divorce and remove conditions based on divorce if you can prove you entered the marriage in good faith. If you divorce before your status is adjusted, then yes, you have to leave. As I said before, your entering the USA would be based upon your convincing the CBP officers that you intend to return to your home country after your visit.

Edited January 29, 2016 by Mike-eeh and Odie

[baron555 934]

I have one month to go but now I'm getting very hesitant and having second thoughts.

Uh oh!

I'm the kind of person who likes to know all the worst possible scenarios before I go through with something, just so that I am prepared. What I'd like to know is what will happen if I don't use my visa. Will it affect my future trips to the US if I don't use the visa,

You don't have a choice. When you try to enter the US next, they will use the K-1 visa.

if for example I don't take that flight and the visa expires,

Then you are back to like before. It would be best to contact the Embassy and have them officially cancel the visa. That way they can update their computers.

or if I go there, don't get married and come home again soon after, within the 90 days?

You can do that.

Or if we simply break up and I want to visit the US a year or two or ten from now, what will happen?

They will see that you had a valid K-1 visa, so there was past immigration intent because of it. You might face additional scrutiny when trying to enter the US again due to that. Worst case, you will be denied at the border and sent back, or if trying to apply for a different visa, be denied that. Or nothing at all could be a problem in the future.

What if I then eventually meet a different US citizen and we want to get married, am I out of chances?

That happens, but this visa should be officially canceled first. Don't just let it expire and think your free.

Will I default back to a B2 visa or ESTA?

Maybe yes and maybe no.

Worst of all, what if we do get married and then divorce? I know I'd have to leave, but what would happen if I came back, to visit or through another visa, in future?

Maybe yes and maybe no.

I truly love her and I do think about being married and having a family with her, but I do have these second thought too.

You two should discuss this together.

Please, help me at least know the possible pitfalls in the scenarios I described above.

Officially cancelling this visa gives you the best options in the future. It's natural to be scared, especially for the immigrant, but it's not like your culture is so radically different then life in the US. This will be one of many challenges to your relationship. If it is strong, you two together can forge ahead. Many relationships become stronger due to it. Some also can not weather the challenge and the relationship fails.

​

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Contact the embassy to cancel your visa. You get a visa because you have the right documents and CO believes your story, right?

So "voluntarily" surrendering your visa makes you appear trustworthy.

If marriage is important to you than don't make it "a means to an end".

Get a new B2 visa (cos any visa in your passport to the US is void, the moment you got the K-1 visa) and come over, get to know your gf more before you take the leap.

[caliliving 606]

Contact the embassy to cancel your visa. You get a visa because you have the right documents and CO believes your story, right?

So "voluntarily" surrendering your visa makes you appear trustworthy.

If marriage is important to you than don't make it "a means to an end".

Get a new B2 visa (cos any visa in your passport to the US is void, the moment you got the K-1 visa) and come over, get to know your gf more before you take the leap.

This is bad advice! i dont think he should cancel his visa and reapply for a B2!!! WTH? the OP said he just wants to know what happens before he jumps into something.

You have a K1, you have a flight, and you love the girl? If you don't love her, don't go! If you love her, go and see what will happen! 90 days is alot of time to fall in love (or out of love) You already have a K1, the US know you have a K1, so of course it can affect future visits. It really depends again on what ties you have back home when you apply for another non-immigrant visa. Whether you cancel this visa or not, applying for another K1 could be a bit harder but it really depends on how soon after you apply for a new K1.

If you marry her, once you marry her y get a 2 year conditional GC, then you get a permanent one after that. If you marry her and dont AOS and break up, then yes, you have to leave! the K1 is only for the person who brought you here, so you cant use it to marry someone else.

Honestly, i think many people have the same worries when they are getting close to coming here to meet their loved one. it does seem as though you have met your fiance enough to get a feeling if you want to be with her or not. Maybe just spend a bit of time figuring out if she is the one for you? Most people here did the K1 and went through with it, but perhaps your best bet would be using the search button in the top right corner to see what other people have gone through.

Since you were able to visit in the past, what is changing your mind now that you have a K1?

Good luck, and keep us posted:)

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

This is bad advice! i dont think he should cancel his visa and reapply for a B2!!! WTH? the OP said he just wants to know what happens before he jumps into something.

You have a K1, you have a flight, and you love the girl? If you don't love her, don't go! If you love her, go and see what will happen! 90 days is alot of time to fall in love (or out of love) You already have a K1, the US know you have a K1, so of course it can affect future visits. It really depends again on what ties you have back home when you apply for another non-immigrant visa. Whether you cancel this visa or not, applying for another K1 could be a bit harder but it really depends on how soon after you apply for a new K1.

If you marry her, once you marry her y get a 2 year conditional GC, then you get a permanent one after that. If you marry her and dont AOS and break up, then yes, you have to leave! the K1 is only for the person who brought you here, so you cant use it to marry someone else.

Honestly, i think many people have the same worries when they are getting close to coming here to meet their loved one. it does seem as though you have met your fiance enough to get a feeling if you want to be with her or not. Maybe just spend a bit of time figuring out if she is the one for you? Most people here did the K1 and went through with it, but perhaps your best bet would be using the search button in the top right corner to see what other people have gone through.

Since you were able to visit in the past, what is changing your mind now that you have a K1? Because none of those visas required him to get married.

Good luck, and keep us posted:)

I don't believe I gave him a bad advice.

The guy already is having a second thought about the marriage. K-1 route forces one to marry.

OP is not desperate to be in America. He has other option to come to America but his main pause seems to be able the "marriage" part.

Why give advice to guy who "takes the issue of marriage very serious" to just come and see if the marriage is a good idea or not? If that was easy for him, he would have been on the flight.

You and I don't know why he went through the entire process to finally get to the point of obtaining a visa and then come to this standstill.

If I were his fiance, I would prefer holding off on the marriage until we both feel the same way towards it.

[Harmonia 211]

I think you're just having "cold feet". Its natural to be nervous before getting married.

Immigration is stressful, but marriage in and of itself is also stressful. I think many people in immigration situations tend to conflate the two. Nerves before getting married? It must be immigration. Marriage not working out? Must be immigration. In reality, 2 US citizens about to get married get nervous. Think of all the American movies about runaway brides or grooms. 2 US citizens who are married get divorced, all the time, in the US. It may be hard to tell if its your natural emotions as a human about to take 2 big steps-leaving your country and getting married.

My advice is go through with it! Otherwise you'll end up wondering "what if". If it doesn't work out, no harm no foul.

[NikLR 13,220]

No the K1 does not FORCE anyone to get married. If you get here and spend some time with your fiancee and decide that it's not working out, don't get married and leave within 90 days of arrival.

Many people have cold feet right before they are about to leave their birth country. Many people question their decisions as well which is why people get homesick. It happens but that doesn't mean your decision was bad or wrong, but it may mean that you have a hard time with change.

So I suggest the OP go to the USA and discuss things with his fiancee. If they don't get married, at least things were sorted out face to face. He can still get a B2 visa later if that is needed.

[tomyka81 95]

I had cold feet my second marriage. I almost threw up. I went through with it anyway because of reason and logic. Worst mistake ever. If you are having doubts, there is a reason and it is more than what you wrote here. There is a reason that you didn't ask her to marry you.

[j0hnie 0]

Thank you all for your responses. I really appreciate it, I know it takes effort and time to write as much as you did. I apologise for not replying sooner, I have been very busy with work and family in the last few days.

I am leaning towards giving it a go. I really do enjoy our time together, even if it is only on Skype mostly! We've done the long distance relationship for a few years at this stage, and while it has worked well so far, it is eating into our lives. I don't want to do another two years of this. I think I'd rather give this a shot and see if we really have in person, over an extended time, what we think we have.

I like the idea of waiting the 90 days to see how things are going, however she wants to get married straight away so that I can work as soon as possible and we don't have financial strain. We are both very early in our careers so money is relatively tight. I think I will push for it, even though she won't like that idea.

Regarding entering the US again, for a vacation, if I don't use the visa. If I get a new passport, would they still know? What kind of hassle would I get? Has anyone any experience of this? I tried searching but can't find anything similar.

I work in the tech industry so it is quite conceivable that I could get relocated to the US in some job at some stage. I am also considering doing further university study at some point in future once I have saved enough to cover expenses, possibly in the US. Obviously I would need to get visas for these if it came to that. How would an unused K1 (or a used one without a marriage) impact those?

Again, thank you so much for your advice.

[NikLR 13,220]

Anytime you get a US visa you must disclose it on a new visa application, even with a new passport. Not to do so would be material misrepresentation and get you a lifetime ban from the USA.

[NikLR 13,220]

Not using or not AOSing wont affect future visas except for maybe a spousal or K1. If anything not using a K1 would look positive that you dont have intention to immigrate. However multiple K1 or spousal visas is a negative because you're percieved as trying to get to the USA no mattet what.