Starting to thing about the logistics around having kids

[Cam54 84]

There are a few factors around having children in the US that aren't an issue in the UK, such as health insurance and maternity leave, you don't expect to base something so natural around these factors so I would just like some advice on the matter as I imagine I'l start trying in the next couple years. If it is not a possibility to be covered on my husband's health insurance would I have to continue to work throughout pregnancy, take the 6 weeks maternity leave given in California and then return right back to work or are there low cost insurance options for mothers who do not consider working full time with a 6 week old a logistic or emotional reality? We don't really have family where we live to help as my MIL is terminally ill so it would be just us to look after kids when we have them and I feel very uncomfortable bringing a child into the world only to pass it off to a stranger at 6 weeks of age.

I know some people would just say dont have kids then but its always been the plan to have kids and would be awful to let something like health insurance prevent me from doing something so natural. Health insurance aside I always suspected I would take 3 months off then return part time then eventually after couple years full time as this would be quite acceptable for the UK but working part time means no insurance through work. Im basically just asking how people have figured it all out and any tips.

[mayfield 23]

Hi Cam54, I'm a brit as well, and we had a baby last year. I am the male but I will still go ahead and tell you about our journey.

firstly my whole immigration process sped up because of her being pregnant, I decided to move so we could be together here and I could support her with the baby, with her being the American she had the health insurance in place and we were able to have hat part sorted, but as for the maternity leave she had to leave her Job as she was no going to be able to go back to work when they wanted, I was self employed in the UK and continued in my field once I got here but we lost her health insurance through work and had to switch to a plan on Obamacare which was quite pricy but still got what we needed done. our baby is six months now and we are settled my wife is ready to return to work and get back into the schedule, I notice you said that you don't have any family close by to help out which is where our case is different.

Now with our friends story they started the immigration process same time we did and but they are same as you meaning the female is from the UK while the male is American, what they did is have the female return to the UK, give birth and have family around to support her and make things a whole lot easier, now this may seem odd being that the father wont be able to stay for so long but it made the health insurance problem go away and also provided help with the caring for the child in the beginning.

I can't really say which one of this if any will actually help you but they are just a couple of stories to let you know what others have done. which ever you decide I wish you all the best..

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

Would you explain the circumstances of your husband's health insurance? You said "if it is not a possibility...." Does that mean you know for sure there is no spouse or family coverage? Are you just speculating it is not possible?

[Cam54 84]

My husband says that spouses and family cant be added to his insurance but I believe that this is something hes heard from coworkers rather than actually asking about. I currently get free health insurance through my employer so its not something we've chased up yet so I would need to confirm with the employer if thats not usual.

[CAMama3 1]

FYI and something for you to add to your research-- Pretty sure CA is about 16-18 weeks of paid, job protected leave... providing you work for a company over 50 employees, etc. You combine FMLA and all the CA parental leave/disability acts (some are for job protection and the others are for pay-- you get something like half of your weekly income each week). Unless it's changed, but I have friends that just had babies in CA and they all took 4 months off...

[Cam54 84]

FYI and something for you to add to your research-- Pretty sure CA is about 16-18 weeks of paid, job protected leave... providing you work for a company over 50 employees, etc. You combine FMLA and all the CA parental leave/disability acts (some are for job protection and the others are for pay-- you get something like half of your weekly income each week). Unless it's changed, but I have friends that just had babies in CA and they all took 4 months off...

My work only has 30 employees but I will research that and if thats the case I could move to a larger company, I really dislike my job anyway.

[Cam54 84]

Hi Cam54, I'm a brit as well, and we had a baby last year. I am the male but I will still go ahead and tell you about our journey.

firstly my whole immigration process sped up because of her being pregnant, I decided to move so we could be together here and I could support her with the baby, with her being the American she had the health insurance in place and we were able to have hat part sorted, but as for the maternity leave she had to leave her Job as she was no going to be able to go back to work when they wanted, I was self employed in the UK and continued in my field once I got here but we lost her health insurance through work and had to switch to a plan on Obamacare which was quite pricy but still got what we needed done. our baby is six months now and we are settled my wife is ready to return to work and get back into the schedule, I notice you said that you don't have any family close by to help out which is where our case is different.

Now with our friends story they started the immigration process same time we did and but they are same as you meaning the female is from the UK while the male is American, what they did is have the female return to the UK, give birth and have family around to support her and make things a whole lot easier, now this may seem odd being that the father wont be able to stay for so long but it made the health insurance problem go away and also provided help with the caring for the child in the beginning.

I can't really say which one of this if any will actually help you but they are just a couple of stories to let you know what others have done. which ever you decide I wish you all the best..

Thanks for your stories, I guess if I dont feel ready to go back after the 6 weeks full time I can just purchase Obamacare until Im ready to go into full time employment again. I dont think Id move to the UK to have the baby because you cant really fly in third trimester and I wouldnt want my husband to miss any time with the baby.

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

I think you are so mature to think about all these things instead of "oops I'm pregnant, who is going to pay for everything for me."

My life experience is you make it work. I think people tend to spend what they make. If you should quit for awhile, then your trade off is not getting the latest electronic gadget, fashion, or luxury vacation. So don't get yourself way under water in debt where you have to work or else. When I decided I wasn't ready to go back to work, we managed. You won't need/want so many new clothes if you don't have to go to work. You save a bunch in child care costs. You are in a lower income bracket for taxes. You have more time to search out bargains, deals, and and learn to DIY instead of paying somebody. And today with Obamacare, less income means you may get cheaper coverage.

I clearly remember shopping for a new car when we had one income. I had an amount in mind that we could spend. At the dealership, I wouldn't even look at a car if the window sticker was more. No point in being tempted by a snazzy dream car. Pick the car you can afford instead of even sitting in the fancy one. When my friends were buying newer houses, we remained in our same house because it was big enough, though not as fancy. Don't charge more than you can pay off when the bill comes. I have never, ever carried a credit card balance. Charging should be for the convenience, not getting something you can't actually afford. The tightening our belt mentality served us well. I loved being a stay at home Mom. The kids grew up awesome and nobody felt deprived. Some people need to get out and work. I filled my time with volunteering. I wouldn't do it differently. I think you will find your way.

[*Snowdrop* 603]

Also consider working from home options. You may have to be a freelancer or set up your own business for this - which means you'll have to buy your own insurance of course but it's money coming in and you can be with your baby. That's what I did.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

you are working so i assume you have green card

airfare is cheaper as my German neighbors discovered

their little boy came last day of the year and she and baby were still in hospital at beginning of the year ($3000 deductible appled for both years)

second baby she flew home for delivery

they returned to Germany now

fly home and have the baby if you are covered under UK insurance

baby is still US citizen as his father is USC

[Cam54 84]

Do people fly home to have baby to spare the cost of having the child in a US hospital?

[Unshakable Faith 493]

Do people fly home to have baby to spare the cost of having the child in a US hospital?

I guess some people do. I'm with you though, I'd rather fork out the money than have my husband miss time with his baby.

[kzielu 1,147]

Do people fly home to have baby to spare the cost of having the child in a US hospital?

Depending on a country, it is not going to be free if they're not issuing into healthcare system there but without a doubt cheaper. Question is do you want to deal with CRBA and other logistics around it.

[rhirhi 35]

This is something that my husband and I have been fretting over. Our best option would be to use the FMLA, 12 weeks without pay, although I could use my sick and personal days to make it so that I'd get paid for some of that time. I can actually take up to a year off but it would all be without pay, which would not be feasible for us. We're in a similar situation too, where we don't have any family members nearby who could help with childcare. I have no idea how that will all work when we decide to have a baby.

[Unidentified 2,930]

"Nice" to see that I'm not the only one worried about having children here in the US. Every time I think about it I'm seriously considering just going back to Sweden Still haven't really figured out a good solution so I will follow this thread for ideas Thank you for starting it!