Getting divorce and I don't know what to do

[AB loves AG 54]

You need a green card to qualify for TANF and WIC. Your current status does not allow you to receive either benefits.

Although the Affidavit of Support has been submitted, it is only enforceable until after you get a green card.

We got WIC for my stepson who came on a K2 visa before he got his green card. At the WIC office, they told us it is not a means tested benefit and they give it out to anyone that meets the income requirements, even if you are illegally here.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

We got WIC for my stepson who came on a K2 visa before he got his green card. At the WIC office, they told us it is not a means tested benefit and they give it out to anyone that meets the income requirements, even if you are illegally here.

+1 to that

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

Just because a spouse is from overseas they don't get treated like dirt and shipped home like a rejected package. Florida is tough on husbands who want to act like jerks.

In Florida, a wife, until final divorce, is entitled at a minimum to temporary alimony until the divorce is settled. The legal requirement is that the jerkoff has to provide her enough support to maintain her standard of living, not just basic necessities. That means a place to stay, food, utilities, just as if she was living in his house. A cool bonus is If she can't afford an attorney, he gets stuck with her legal fees to boot.

Temporary alimony has nothing to do with a prenup. On this case? Even a bad lawyer would have a field day with this guy because she can't work leaving her fully dependent on her husband.

http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/free-legal-aid-Florida.html

OP needs to locate and ask for an attorney to help her file. She should not allow herself to be dumped on a plane and shipped home leaving her married with no good way to divorce, finalize things, and move on. The dude owes her a divorce and until its finalized she's entitled to more than just basis necessities while she's waiting for it.

One cool case out of probably millions, where a husband appealed and lost -

When a Florida court considers whether to grant temporary alimony, it balances the needs of the requesting spouse against the other spouse’s ability to pay. Fonderson v. Lairap, 98 So. 3d 715, 717 (Fla. 2d DCA 2012), citing de Gutierrez v. Gutierrrez, 19 So.3d 1110 (Fla. 2d DCA 2009). In weighing the needs of the requesting spouse, the court also considers the parties’ standard of living. Id. Trial courts have broad discretion in deciding whether to award temporary alimony. Gutierrez, 19 So.3d at 1112-13. Even so, such decisions must be supported by competent, substantial evidence. Id., citing Driscoll v. Driscoll, 915 So.2d 771, 773 (Fla. 2d DCA 2005).

In Fonderson, the husband in a divorce proceeding appealed an order granting his former wife temporary alimony. On appeal, Florida’s Second District Court of Appeal held that the trial court did not abuse its discretion in granting the former wife alimony. The trial court found that the husband and his witness were not credible when describing the husband’s financial state. Fonderson, 98 So.3d at 718. The lower court noted that the husband had the ability to meet his obligations and that certain expenses he incurred were unnecessary. Id., citing Tomaszewski v. Tomaszewski, 793 So.2d 1156, 1158 (Fla. 4th DCA 2001)(finding that a negative cash flow, not being otherwise explained, reasonably supports an inference that a party’s earnings are greater than the party represents them to be); see also, Ugarte v. Ugarte, 608 So.2d 838 (Fla. 3d DCA 1992)(recognizing that a spouse’s ability to maintain a standard of living at a certain financial level is probative evidence of the spouse’s income).

The husband in Fonderson also argued that his former wife was highly educated and therefore capable of contributing to her support. However, the wife testified that she tried unsuccessfully to seek employment and the husband presented no evidence to contradict her testimony. Id. at 718. Finally, regarding the wife’s standard of living, the husband’s accountant testified that the wife needed only $1,617 per month after deducting what he described as “non-necessities” such as dry cleaning, maid service, clothing, gifts and vacations. Id. The trial court, however, rejected this evidence and instead found that the former wife “was entitled to keep some semblance of the standard of living to which she was accustomed during the marriage.” Id. Based on these findings, the appellate court affirmed the trial court’s award of temporary alimony to the wife.

Two points are worth mentioning regarding Fonderson. First, the court can consider evidence of the parties’ lifestyle in determining a spouse’s ability to pay alimony. Second, Fonderson reminds us that courts do not view temporary alimony merely as a way to provide for basic necessities. Instead, temporary alimony reflects a spouse’s right to maintain a standard of living comparable to the lifestyle that existed before commencement of the divorce proceeding.

Best post in this thread. Probably the most helpful to the OP and directly addresses her fundamental question of what to do.

[Expat1 971]

Best post in this thread. Probably the most helpful to the OP and directly addresses her fundamental question of what to do.

Cases like this tick me off

[Pennycat 880]

Cases like this tick me off

Seriously-- me too.

OP, I know that you will do what is best for you and your son, and that may be returning to Costa Rica as quickly as possible. But please know that you are very likely entitled to more than just a plane ticket home, no matter what that prenup says. Don't go picking fights you don't want to engage in just on principle alone, but also know that it is not legally possible for this person to treat you however he wants to (cheating on you etc) and then threaten to withhold food and shelter if you don't like it. Life doesn't work that way here. From the sound of it, you may file for divorce and he has to support you for the duration of that divorce. And that prenup is likly not worth the paper it's written on. Anything that unfair or one-sided is often unenforceable (and, I may be wrong here but my understanding of the situation is that a requirement for a prenup is that they're fair otherwise no dice. Did you have your own independent legal counsel go over it with you? If not, it's probably not valid).

Again, I understand the impulse to just ditch this loser and go home as soon as possible and I support that choice if that is your choice. Just know that there ARE OPTIONS. He doesn't get to treat you like this.

[Fox1983 5]

Your husband is guilty of spousal abuse, emotional abuse and threats count. You are entitled to finish your adjustment of status based on the abuse. You can leave the cheater, get public housing, food stamps, and court mandated child support from the jerk based on his abuse of you. They will also fast track your green card and citizenship. There are free lawyers and support groups for battered wives, especially immigrant wives. If he abuses you he will abuse your children.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

You can leave the cheater, get public housing, food stamps, and court mandated child support from the jerk based on his abuse of you. They will also fast track your green card and citizenship.

this is not true for any of it. Food stamps and public housing are still subject to a 5 year waiting period. Spousal support is not always a given, and citizenship is not expedited

[Villanelle 4,121]

DV victims are eligible for assistance programs with no waiting period.

A number of public programs for low-income families exist that could be helpful to survivors of domestic violence. These federal programs are often administered at the state level, and families can go through local agencies, such as their local AFI agency, to apply. These benefits include federal tax credits, assistance through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program, the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program (SNAP), the special feeding program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC), public housing through the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), and services through Head Start. Increasingly, federal agencies are recognizing the importance of developing and implementing policies, procedures and staff training to ensure that domestic violence victims can safely access these federal benefits programs.

http://idaresources.acf.hhs.gov/page?pageid=a047000000DfWdU

You also qualify to apply for naturalization at 3 years if you were approved through VAWA.

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I dont really think any of this is applicable to the OP- USCIS has specific definitions of what is abuse and generally speaking one side being difficult in a divorce doesnt meet it.

The OP also has not posted back since. It does show they were last online last week- but no update on whether she left or is is proceeding with seeking temp alimony during the divorce as outlined above. I would encourage her to post back but I can understand why she may not.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Odd..this says different: http://www.masslegalhelp.org/income-benefits/food-stamps/advocacy-guide/part2/q24-special-rules-battered-immigrants

[Villanelle 4,121]

Lol, what you posted is true also. Its incredibly complex!

States receive federal funding for TANF, Medi-caid, and CHIP and those funds are only available to those who have completed five-year bar. SNAP is also federally funded and only for those that complete the bar.

About half of the states use state funds to provide the benefits above to battered immigrants with no bar. Not many use state funds for food stamps but there are some that do.

Looks like Mass isnt one of them. Thats unfortunate for victims there. No clue about Florida.

[RobertM54 36]

I had to read this thread twice. In the original post, I read that the husband was not "physically" unfaithful. He appeared to be having "emotional" affairs with women on line.

Having recently ended a long poor to mediocre marriage, I also surfed online throughout the marriage. I did not consider myself to be unfaithful.

Indeed, I endured until we were at a place where the divorce was not financially devastating.

Note that the initial ill-advised threat from the husband was if she challenged the pre-nup.

I am trying to visualize the situation prior to him asking her to leave. My vision is she was not being pleasant to him.

Not offering to provide food and shelter until she and the child get on the plane is really jerky, but I suspect there is a little more to this story than the OP has shared.

I suspect the situation is not quite as dire as she insinuates and the recommendations to follow the pre-nup are on point.

[Unidentified 2,930]

I had to read this thread twice. In the original post, I read that the husband was not "physically" unfaithful. He appeared to be having "emotional" affairs with women on line.

Having recently ended a long poor to mediocre marriage, I also surfed online throughout the marriage. I did not consider myself to be unfaithful.

Indeed, I endured until we were at a place where the divorce was not financially devastating.

Note that the initial ill-advised threat from the husband was if she challenged the pre-nup.

I am trying to visualize the situation prior to him asking her to leave. My vision is she was not being pleasant to him.

Not offering to provide food and shelter until she and the child get on the plane is really jerky, but I suspect there is a little more to this story than the OP has shared.

I suspect the situation is not quite as dire as she insinuates and the recommendations to follow the pre-nup are on point.

What does it matter if the husband was physically or emotionally having a affair? An affair is an affair no matter if they were physical or not.

Edited January 26, 2016 by Maria&Seve

[RobertM54 36]

What does it matter if the husband was physically or emotionally having a affair? An affair is an affair no matter if they were physical or not.

I think biblical and legal precedence would disagree. This is irrespective of the opinion of the OP.

There is much more I could say here. This is not an easy issue.