Surprise guest...but no room

[SecrVJ 4]

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years he now has the 10 year green card. Recently my husband informed me that he has a cousin coming to the United States to "visit". The cousin was given a visa and my husband gave out my mother's address for him to use. I am not happy about this at all. His cousin had used the address of some good friends of his and each time he was denied. The friends promised to take him in if he came to the US. Now that he got approved they are not taking his phone calls. We live in my mother's house the 5 of us my husband, older brother, (college bound) sister 18, mother, and me. Everyone works except me and younger sister. We don't have a lot but we manage to somehow pay bills and get by. I quit my job recently and returned to Grad school. I have been out of work for 6 months. I just interviewed yesterday for a job. His cousin is coming in 3 days for a 10 day visit. I am at a loss for words I should have expected this as this is part of the Haitian culture. There is an expectation that once you get to America that you must help those back home. Which is fine in theory....meaning if you have the means to do so. We do NOT have the means at this time. I need to confront my husband about this. It looks like he dug a deep hole here. Maybe trying to save face or present a picture to others. Prior to him coming (4-5 years) my mother was already on thin ice with me. She was fed up with my career struggles. She has since warmed up we are a close family. We pay certain bills, cook, clean, run errands, husband is the house fixer pretty much. This is completely unfair to her. Her goal was to support us until we are somewhat secure. As a curtsey I want to talk to my husband first and tell him we need to talk to my mother together. He casually mentioned this before and her response back then was to find a room for his cousin to stay. Any thoughts

[Darnell 8,478]

stick with the 'find a room elsewhere' mantra, that's my 2 bits.

[Boiler 43,426]

Agree, US has lots of hotels.

How about Airbnb?

Edited July 7, 2015 by Boiler

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Volunteering someone else's house isn't cool

[Sandra G. 5,016]

It's your mom's house, tell your husband when he rents his own house then he can invite his relatives, but offering your mom's house for his cousin to stay is not cool.

Edited July 7, 2015 by sandranj

[Darnell 8,478]

eh -

rather than deal with it when he arrives,

i suggest you find him a private room-share , short term, on craigslist, pay for it in advance,

and just give him the key when he arrives, and drop him off there prior to 5:15 PM on arrival day.

and no, no need to talk with husband about it,

as

he not step up and solve this himself. Plus he assumes that saying with Mom is ok. (IMO that's a fallacy)

[Jawaree 717]

I agree with Darnell, get a room pay for the month (he's likely not going back)

and your husband can take him a few groceries...Please have your husband

inform him he simply stays with your family & cannot take in another B4 he gets

here, this will minimize the feeling of animosity by getting a room and not having

to put him out in the future. It will also be money well spent, staying after that he can

only blame himself.

[SecrVJ 4]

Thank you all for your replies. This is exactly what was bothering me about the whole picture. It looks worse when I read the story myself. I am looking for rooms as we speak. I will worry about extended family members later. (this was also a concern of mine) Mainly having his family overseas make comments about this arrangement.

[onye uwaoma 131]

For 10 days only there could be affordable hotel. If you make the payment then, you can make sure he leaves at the expiration of his Visit.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Check out hostels in the area if you have them, more like a bunk house sleeping arrangement. You put this stranger up too nicely and half the country will be showing up expecting the same ( word of mouth spread fast when a flop house is open ) Only pay for 10 days, and I would not want him overstaying in your house. It wouldn't look good to immigration is you are assisting someone in violating the terms of their visa.

[Darnell 8,478]

alas, some use the bond in lieu of communication.

[Fan_Dancer 171]

alas, some use the bond in lieu of communication.

Did she know before he arrived? What other type of communication does she need? Family is coming, you make room. It really is that easy.

[Darnell 8,478]

Did she know before he arrived? What other type of communication does she need? Family is coming, you make room. It really is that easy.

please re-read post #1- it's chock full o details. Thanks !

[Boiler 43,426]

Easy if it is your house.

[daviddelen 34]

You shouldn't overlook the possibility that a 10 day "visit" could turn into an indefinate stay. I'm not saying that is the case but that kind of thing happens quite often.