nightmare k1 marriage

[Darnell 8,478]

I completed the K1 process went to the foreign consulate with my k1 fiancée. She got the visa. I was very happy. Two weeks before she moved to the USA, she told me she had been raped two years ago and ended up having a kid. She suffers from a medical disorder where she loses concioussness, I have seen it. I was in a state of shock, but since I was in love and I guess not seeing straight from shock. I cried and decided to make it work. She moved to the USA and we got married in Vegas.

Keep in mind that while I did all the immigration paperwork for K1 I put down that she did not have a kid. Because I did not know. If would have know, and accepted it, of course I would have put down the kid and would make things easier in the future.

Well after being married for about a month she has the kid brought over illegally. She had a cousin/aunt use another kids birth certificate and that how he crossed. So I did not say anything, except accept it, trying to make the marriage work.

We did have some fights about her not telling earlier about the kid. But I tried to move forward.

Next thing, her brother is moving in with us. So he has been living with us for two months, and I always complained to her when is he going to get a job. Well she told me Saturday that he is applying for the Obama executive action, and is NOT going to get a job because he can't work with someone's social security. I was mad. So I told her I wanted him gone.

So when we got home, she was mad, he comes out. And tells me from now on I talk to him only about him. He actually threatened me and told me if I upset her again that I will get hurt, etc, etc, etc. At time it was only us three. So I was smart enough to not say much and try to be cool. I figured if the cops show and dumb ### who will be going to jail.

I am planning on getting a Domestic Violence Restraining order against him, which means she will either move, or make a false accusation against me. FYI: she is out of the 90 days and I have NOT petitioned for AOS.

I already started talking to a lawyer who deals with family law.

Any advice?

This smells like 'normal' Mexican family activity, now that the brother has stepped in the house.

And the illegal entry on the child, man !

so - the type of advice I'd give, depends on what outcomes you want. Others have written up stuff here, but at the end of the day - what do you want? Which of the possible outcomes do you want at your house?

There are two endpoints, aye? Happy Marriage or empty house. Lots of variation inbetween.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

I am in california. Divorce is relatively easy. I am worried about my concerns about VAWA, issue with kid, etc.

You were ahead of VAWA last week. Much changed in one week as you sat idly by.

[Jo Së 200]

This smells like 'normal' Mexican family activity, now that the brother has stepped in the house.

And what exactly is 'normal' Mexican family activity? Please explain.

[Darnell 8,478]

And what exactly is 'normal' Mexican family activity? Please explain.

No. If I need to explain it, well, you've not experienced it in yer environs.

Be lucky, you've not gone through it, lived through it, or came out the other side of it.

[Villanelle 4,121]

Look- theres no reason to get this thread derailed (and locked) with name calling, stereotypes, and I told ya so's... Whats done is done. The OP is young so lets cut him some slack...

The questions hes seeking input on now are-

I did post questions above: " I guess she is going to file a nice VAWA claim. But doesn't the fact that she lied about the kid and not listed on K1 mean anything? I guess she could always claim that I refused to put the kid in the K1 application." Any thoughts will be appreciated.

First- as a USC or LPR or however it is that you petitioned for her, a VAWA claim has absolutely NO IMPACT on you with the USCIS> If you are an LPR it doesnt effect your card/status. You can petition for another K1 or CR1. The VAWA process is suppose to be completely confidential (and it is) where you arent even suppose to know that the abused spouse filed for protection under it.

Its confusing because when people on here say QUICK!! protect yourself from VAWA- they dont mean from the USCIS. They mean from the local criminal court system. A VAWA case can be significantly strengthened by domestic violence police reports. Being on the receiving end of DV police report is not a good place to be whether its a legitimate report or a false report. In terms of a false report/arrest you are looking at a lot of money and time in court attempting to clear your name and avoiding jail time/fines. Failing to do so can effect jobs you can get in the future-background checks. gun purchases. It sneaks into your life into ways you never thought possible and it never goes away. Sometimes even getting it cleared isnt enough -just the simple fact you were arrested does damage.

So far you have no such incident. You have the police responding to a call for 'abandonment'. You should obtain a copy of the report and heed their warning. Police dont like to be bothered by people calling them to try to obtain reports to be used in 'civil matters'. (USCIS matters included)

You should also take note that as long as you are married any incident between the two of you is considered DV. So you need to get filing on the divorce. The divorce can specify who lives where and can put restraining type orders in place about harassment and disposal of property and contacting each other and stuff.

You shouldnt really concern yourself with her potential VAWA claim. There are plenty of people (men) on this forum who are in the "falsely accused of VAWA club' They all deal with it differently and it ranges from letting it go to obsessing about it. You need to find whats right and healthy for YOU.

Your choices range from doing nothing to reporting the fraud you know about and letting it go to reporting it and tracking and checking and keeping up with it and everywhere in between.

Of course she can say you didnt let her put her kid down on the K1. Who knows? You can write a letter explaining what happened, what you know about her child, if you have a copy of the REAL BC and attach it along with her A# and send it all in. If you know the name the child used to enter or the a copy of the BC used or A# used attach that as well. Theres really nothing more you can do.

Her lawyer would advise her whats best for her to do in regards to her child with her VAWA application- if she should put him down as entered with out inspection, or put him down as not here and then drive him back across the border and enter him over legally when his VAWA is approved as a derivative from her. (you gave no answer as to how the child got in if he was index printed or not or came in using a USC childs passport, so maybe you dont know?)

WIth out knowing the information you specifically have to report 'fraud' on her part of omitting the child and how she then got the child into the US- its impossible to guess how the VAWA unit will evaluate it.

But lets be a little blunt here. We are talking about reporting immigration fraud. In California. By a Mexican. Not exactly front page news.

Homeland security has priorities. But the VAWA unit in Vermont is also very skilled at sorting out false claims regardless of where in the country they come from, so have some faith in that.

[Needhelp164 11]

Damara,

I don't have a copy of birth certificate. I only know his name and that he is two years old. They are leaving on Saturday. I hate the fact that people well get their green card after all of this.

[TBoneTX 43,160]

An unhelpful post has been removed. Please stick close to the OP's topic.

VJ Moderation

[Villanelle 4,121]

Damara,

I don't have a copy of birth certificate. I only know his name and that he is two years old. They are leaving on Saturday. I hate the fact that people well get their green card after all of this.

So you dont really have much to report in the way of fraud. I mean you have a story, but thats all it is. No proof, no dates, no concrete evidence. The fraud unit at USCIS is over flooded with 'stories' and are not detectives that investigate what they consider minor crimes like this. They will not go out and investigate it. This is one isolated case of a woman and child. Very low priority. Turn in a tip about a human trafficking ring or a terror cell and different result.

So sorry to say- but if you had concrete evidence of something fraudulent you may have had a good shot. But youve got nothing. You can still take a shot and write a letter. What kind of impact will it make if she does go the VAWA route? Unknown. Theres no way to know what she is going to present her story as in VAWA, how she is going include the child etc. Obviously your story is going to be different.

USCIS does look at everything in the file. That includes what she presents and what others present- like a letter from you. But things are weighed accordingly. A letter from the suspectedly abusive spouse will be given the appropriate weight. (most are looked at as being vindictive because they tend to be written full of emotion calling the spouse a scammer and themselves a victim and paint a total opposite story)

This is a really tough situation because you cant really call it a fraudulent marriage. See for VAWA you need to have a bonafide marriage and then proof of abuse- be it mental or physical. You entered into the marriage knowing about the child. You would be lying filing for divorce claiming you had no knowledge of him until after the fact. You can write into your complaint the divorce is based on the grounds of her child in which you gained knowledge of right before the wedding and the fact that she illegally brought him into the country and her poor character etc etc.

See in a divorce you write up your complaint alleging reasons why you want the divorce- the things the person did etc etc and they respond with yes thats true, we disagree on that. Try to stick to your points about the child and get her to agree to it. If she wont the judge can rule on it or toss it out as not relevant. But just the fact that its in the divorce papers (legal papers) means you can send it in to USCIS. She may choose to just send in the final decree and not the complete packet which would include the initial summons and some of the back and forth where the child was mentioned. That could help get her denied.

So while you can and should be doing all you can to protect yourself from the physical abuse claims there is nothing you can do to stop her from claiming she was mentally abused while you two were together. This is very sad.

You say you hate the fact she can still get a greencard after all this. I mean I get what you are saying. The VAWA system is f'd up. A lot of people abuse it. The main solution to it is to know the person you are marrying or bringing over. So in your case to be a bit blunt its like...Well after all what? You made a stupid impulsive decision to go forward after a bombshell was dropped on you. What bigger lights and sirens did you need flashing saying hey! do you really know this person?! 2 year old child! 9 month pregnancy! A rape! Major life events and 3 years of your relationship that was untruthful or something was concealed from you.

Its very hard to comment on the wifes pov or state of mind because if it is how you described that she shunned the child due to the trauma of how he was conceived- then that is understandable. What is not understandable or acceptable is her excluding you from it as her partner. She then decided to bring the child over once she told you about him or had second thoughts about leaving him as her relationship with the child is difficult as most mothers of children conceived via raped tend to be. Again her not consulting you or including you in the plans so you could do it legally was a big mistake as you are her partner.

Your marriage is not a marriage if your wife does not see you as a partner.Does not respect you, does not trust you. You see this and understand this.

Please file for divorce asap to protect yourself from physical abuse claims and to be able to move on with your life. If you use an attny be sure to stress you are quite concerned about false physical abuse claims and what he can do in regards to wording in the divorce orders or court to ensure you two can not be together or have contact. (as long as you are married its DV, once divorced its just assault between 2 strangers)

If you wish to write a letter and include aspects of it in your divorce to try to block her VAWA claim feel free to. But again keep in mind the VAWA adjudicators are trained to fish out phony claims. You will find however statistics on both sides depending on who you ask. The group I referred to as falsely accused VAWA men claim a high percentage(like almost everyone is approved) DV advocates who help legitimate victims file who are routinely denied and need to appeal claim a standard denial rate.

Best of luck in the future. Please feel free to post back again here if you have another update. There are also plenty of other sections in the forums to check out. Its not all serious talk here.

[Needhelp164 11]

They left my house.

The problem is they took practically everything. The TV, the refrigerator, my bed with night stand and mirror, the stove that came with the house, coffee table, the two sofas, my 60 inch tv, the dvd, my surround sound, collection of movies, etc. From my garage, lawn mower, weed wacker (they don't even have a lawn where they moved to), three metal cabinets. I don't even have a chair to sit on. All this bought before marriage.

Amazing..

I showed up with a cop just in case they were there. He said I was right since they call it "keeping the peace." When I opened the door we saw everything. He said this was a divorce issue. But I pushed for a report because I told him that everything was bought before marriage which is separate property and hence she had no legal interest. The only thing she can claim community interest is the house, and washer and dryer she took as well since I was making payments during marriage.

I guess the cop called her because she called me back asking that I dropped the charges in return of her giving back my stuff. She claims that I promised her mom that everything was her. She claimed I was taking vengeance on her. I told her she was taking vengeance on me. Wow she even took my bed!!!! I had for years. I can't believe.

The cop called my and I called him back and told him what she said. We will see where it goes.

I got to file for divorce right hopefully this week.

You have to understand I had not filed for divorce because they were still living in my house. If I would have done that they could have literally stayed in my house for 6 months and there was nothing I could have done.

The cop looked up the report she made on. I did not know this on Wednesday with the earlier police visit, but she claimed that I made a claim that I threatened them with a machete.

The cop was cool, hopefully he make a good report, but at the end is up to the DA.

Know I have to steps with immigration and notifying this is over. I found Out where she is staying so I will give them there address.

[TBoneTX 43,160]

Holy mackerel. Here's hoping that you get your stuff back, you get the divorce papers filed, you report her to the FDNS officer of USCIS via personal InfoPass appointment with all backup paperwork, and you get to move on.

[Asia 2,491]

I hope you changed the locks... In case they wanted to come back or something...

[belinda63 2,981]

Why would they come back? To steal the food he bought after they left?

You need to get into family court right away and request an order preventing her from disposing of any property. This is getting nasty right quick. If you take too much time you may find they sold all your property, pocketed the cash, and deny everything. How are you going to prove the value of the property or what exactly they took? I am so sorry for you but immigration would be the last on my list right now, the divorce should be your main priority.

[Boiler 43,557]

Assume the worst.

[rlogan 2,036]

I may have missed if anyone urged disentangling yourself from joint bank accounts, credit cards, etc.