Not going well, need help

[JorJoe 33]

Hello everyone,
Visa journey was a support for me when I needed it and now once more am in need for your help.
Am a legal resident and have been married to my wife since 3 years, ive been in the states since March 23th 2013. I spent year and 3 months with my wife in agony, I was in living hell, mood swings, insults and lots of verbal abuse and neglect, while my income wasn't enough to cover more than the basic needs and bill, looked for a 2nd job for more than a year and there was no opening because of city limits, I was living in a small city with no real chances, worked and paid rent and house needs and I am supporting her till now. My wife always sick and the time we spent together I did my best to stick by her and help her through her hard times but she wont let me, she is mean to me and always upset or sad or something, unless she's high or on pain pills or some other medications. Three months ago I moved for work to another city in the same state, and I tried my best to go home every chance I get. I pay rent in my apartment with her and I oay rent here, I keep texting and call her every day or two. She says that she loves me but I dont see it or feel it and honestly I don't feel anything towards her anymore. Note that I have not been with any other woman and never cheated on her. Always respected her.
These three months have done something to our relationship, and I believe she wants a divorce. She didnt say it but told a friend that shes going to talk to me about it soon.
Now am suppose to submit aos papers in 12/23/2014 which is the 90 days of my green card period. I dont know what am going to do. I have tried my best to stay with her and support her not because of papers, for the sake of our step children, looks like that not gonna last.
Please tell me what to do, I have stayed with her all that time hopping we will make it as a husband and wife but no use.
Help

Edited October 2, 2014 by JorJoe

[Pitaya 2,576]

~Moved from Fam.-based AOS to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits~

~Similar topics are often discussed at this forum~

[mymarriagejourney 112]

You have a few of options:

You can continue to try to make things work.

You can get a divorce and move back to Jordan.

You can get a divorce and file for the removal of conditions on your green card by yourself, and include evidence that you entered into the marriage in good faith and that it just didn't work out.

[JayJayH 546]

Depends what you want to do.

Do you want to be with her or not?

If yes, try to work it out.

If no, get a divorce, and either move back to Jordan, or file for ROC without her.

[JorJoe 33]

Am gonna try to work things out but just encase i couldn't, i already have a life here, cannot just go back to jordan after all this time.

encase i wanted to apply for ROC by my self, what can i do and how?

Thank you so much for your reply

[mymarriagejourney 112]

Whether you work things out and file with your wife, or you get a divorce and file without her, you will follow this guide to remove the conditions on your green card: http://www.visajourney.com/content/751guide

If you are filing without her, you will need a copy of your divorce decree from the court, along with all of the evidence of a real relationship as requested on the form.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Good luck with trying to make it work, it must be hard for you but it's good to not see another "I need a divorce post" in here

[Cody and Daisy 373]

Good luck with trying to make it work, it must be hard for you but it's good to not see another "I need a divorce post" in here

Agreed, there have been so many lately, it's quiet sad.

Op- just from what you've said it seems nothing too serious has happened? Obviously apart from the drugs.

my thoughts to you is that you've come this far with each other that you should try to make it work.

Just talk to her about everything, maybe both move to the new city? New start?

Is she working?

I wish you the best.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

I admire ur faithfulness and loyalty. Pain can cause a person to be irritable and cantankerous. We usually take it out on those closest to us. Maybe the key is getting her medical issues under control and find a treatment and/or therapy that works. Have to you attended any of her doctors appointments with her? Maybe working on solving her medical troubles by trying either new therapies, different meds, or even a specialist or different doctor. Is she medically compliant? Meaning does she follow doctors orders with meds, doctors visits, therapy, etc. I work in the healthcare field and don't want u to divulge any of her medical conditions here or violate HIPPA laws, I feel maybe if you resolve her pain she can return to being the woman u fell in love with. Then you can work on repairing your marriage. Just a thought.

Edited October 3, 2014 by LionessDeon

[Kay&Jay 44]

I would never encourage you to leave this woman behind ,she has kids ,she worked hard for you to get here,please please ,move back in the apartment with her ,build a friendship with her kids and make it work out ,you are the man here.There is no better woman on earth all the women are the same,and seeing that she is under medication.I would personally advice you to sit down with her,go live with her or tell her to come move in with you please!!!please!!!Im a single mother too and working on my fiancé visa now I wouldn't want that to happen to me.Go see her and try to move in with her,see therapies ,marriage counselors she will see that you are a great man instead of trying to avoid her.

[HoussemAnna 20]

I have learned the biggest lesson in marriage... forgiveness. I will say you are an upstanding person to be asking to save a marriage, most always want to end it at the first sign of trouble. There will be lows and highs in marriage you really need to try an sometimes if your partner is failing it is up to you to hold them up. You need to communicate and sit down and talk. I am not saying she is right to be disrespectful to you, but sometimes you have to look past the hurt and try to rationalize ... ok she is sick and taking meds, you arent living together right now, you have step kids living with her (maybe she is overwhelmed) I cannot say for sure. Love isnt just the lovey feeling it something deeper with a spouse i hope you can find common ground and get back to being happy together.

[templeton 120]

Obviously I would agree that working things out would be for the best, but you don't have full control over that. If I were you, I'd be covering my bases by assembling all the records and history you can showing all that you've done to love and support her (both tangibly and intangibly) as a bona fide husband since you've moved here. That way you at least have a leg to stand on for filing a post-divorce ROC if it comes to that.

[Sarah K 5]

Hello everyone,

Visa journey was a support for me when I needed it and now once more am in need for your help.

Am a legal resident and have been married to my wife since 3 years, ive been in the states since March 23th 2013. I spent year and 3 months with my wife in agony, I was in living hell, mood swings, insults and lots of verbal abuse and neglect, while my income wasn't enough to cover more than the basic needs and bill, looked for a 2nd job for more than a year and there was no opening because of city limits, I was living in a small city with no real chances, worked and paid rent and house needs and I am supporting her till now. My wife always sick and the time we spent together I did my best to stick by her and help her through her hard times but she wont let me, she is mean to me and always upset or sad or something, unless she's high or on pain pills or some other medications. Three months ago I moved for work to another city in the same state, and I tried my best to go home every chance I get. I pay rent in my apartment with her and I oay rent here, I keep texting and call her every day or two. She says that she loves me but I dont see it or feel it and honestly I don't feel anything towards her anymore. Note that I have not been with any other woman and never cheated on her. Always respected her.

These three months have done something to our relationship, and I believe she wants a divorce. She didnt say it but told a friend that shes going to talk to me about it soon.

Now am suppose to submit aos papers in 12/23/2014 which is the 90 days of my green card period. I dont know what am going to do. I have tried my best to stay with her and support her not because of papers, for the sake of our step children, looks like that not gonna last.

Please tell me what to do, I have stayed with her all that time hopping we will make it as a husband and wife but no use.

Help

Your wife could be suffering from bipolar disorder, PTSD or borderline personality.

[JorJoe 33]

I'm greatful for your responses, as many suggested that I should make this work, I have found some peaceful grounds with her. we spoke, and suddenly I realized that we still have a chance togather so am taking it. Will update you with the future developments. Thanks

[mymarriagejourney 112]

It's always good news to hear of people working on their relationships. We will look forward to hearing that things are working out well