How do you deal?

[staceydinesh 7]

I was just wondering what everyone else does to deal with not being with your fiancé's. We facetime/Skype everyday, sometimes 3/4 hours a day @ different times. We text every chance we get thru the day, but I miss him sooo much. It's only been a little over a month since I left him, and I don't know how I had the strength to leave him. If it was even possible I would go see him again, but I'm a single Mom & I work with my mother & can't leave our business again. So I'm just wondering if anyone can share on how they cope without being near your best friend/soulmate. The uncertainty of when I will see him is killing me. Thanks....

[Deagle 497]

ya it is so hard, my wife and i are the same, we married in January and we are trying to meet every while, we are meeting each other every month and a half she come to visit me from america to my country or we meet in a 3rd country, she is a mom too she cant leave her kids there and her job, we are waiting our papers to be together ant its really hard waiting, we talk almost all day and we skype too, but still its hard

[love99 0]

its an hard time. just have faith in god everythng will b ok soon. in the starting its really hard everybody crying but as the time passes uwill see new hope just start planning for what all u gonna do when he is there. good luck

[Girl from Celebes 588]

I was just wondering what everyone else does to deal with not being with your fiancé's. We facetime/Skype everyday, sometimes 3/4 hours a day @ different times. We text every chance we get thru the day, but I miss him sooo much. It's only been a little over a month since I left him, and I don't know how I had the strength to leave him. If it was even possible I would go see him again, but I'm a single Mom & I work with my mother & can't leave our business again. So I'm just wondering if anyone can share on how they cope without being near your best friend/soulmate. The uncertainty of when I will see him is killing me. Thanks....

I know it is really hard. My husband and I dated over 5 years before he filed I-129F in 2013 and most of times we spent times over Skype for hours. Sometimes being apart killing us too. Dealt with time zone differences, juggled with our jobs, and trying to see this things as the way we will be together in the future. I worked for hours when he slept and I slept when he worked. That's worked out for us.

Other things I did that I spent time with my family and friends, learning about the city where I live in, and blogging. You can do many things to occupy your mind from being apart from your fiance. I know, you are missing him so much. But here the good news. Every cloud has silver lining. I was in your position before and now I am happily married to my husband. Thinking the result of the process. What is more exciting that knowing your fiance will be with you near in the future. You almost there, and keep strong and have faith that is not make you weak. Immigration journey is not for faint-hearted. And I have feeling you are not that kind person.

[staceydinesh 7]

This really sucks, especially if your like me and have no patience. I almost want to meet him somewhere else to marry him, but I'd never leave him. I can't barely hang the phone up on him. So frustrated.

[Julie+Matt 84]

My fiance and I talk to each other (on headsets via xfire-a gaming voice chat service) every morning (I wake up at 3am before I go to work and it's 8am his time, when he gets home from work). We also talk all day on my day off before he heads into work and usually we have long dates on sundays. We also text each other every chance we get when we are awake. We play video games together most days (except for the early morning chats because I'm too tired).

Oddly enough, I can't handle facetime/skype. It hurts too much to be able to see him and not touch him or actually look at him in the eyes. But, his voice soothes me. I wonder if anyone else is this way, because it seems that everyone else on here is okay using video chat services. We just can't handle it. We do take photos of ourselves at times, or I'll set up the bear he bought for me to sleep with in odd scenarios to make him laugh.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

I die a little everyday. I try not to think about it. That helps me get by. I stay really busy going to Yoga 3-5 times per week & playing video games. My fiancee & I text all day & Skype during weekends in addition to texting.

Editing to add that I hate TSC.

Another edit to mention that we send each other selfies everyday to see each other even when we can't Skype. But we have to Skype or we hate ourselves. We need to see each other. It hurts us when we can't for some reason.

Edited June 5, 2014 by Marco&Bettina

[rylforever 18]

My husband and i started the "journey" about 3 years ago (a more complicated case) and only get to see each other one week every year. I never really learned to cope, nor did i want to try to get used to it. My husband comes home next week finally. we have not seen eachother for a year now. It is never easy in my opinion, i just get through it and think ok one day less, and you will get there too, a lot sooner than three years, dont worry. A lot of people not in this situation dont realize how mentally and emotionally difficult it is, but as you know it is all worth it in the end. my husband is my best friend, he is everything, and no matter what i do or where i go i miss him. i could never find anything to take my mind off of him, so i just put on a smile for him, for my kids and family, went to work, took care of my kids, and did what i had to do everyday and cried myself to sleep everynight i think and now finally get to see him. good luck.

[Yanet Gonzalez 2]

When my fiancée (now husband) and I were apart....it was REALLY hard!

Sometimes I just wanted to leave everything behind to be with him. There were many night we would fall asleep while we were Skyping. Nothing helped me... not the endless calls, texting or Skype. But I will tell you this...when I saw coming out of the airport terminal...I forgot all the sleepless nights, it was the must amazing feeling in the world.

Just hang in there time passes and they will be here before you know it.

[staceydinesh 7]

The encouraging words are appreciated, as I know everyone on this site is missing someone or has been threw the exact same thing as me. One of the main reasons I was hesitant to start a relationship with my fiancé (change our status from best friends to husband & wife) was because he was in another country. At that time I didn't even think about a K1 visa or actually marrying him. The more that we see each other everyday, and talk/text the more I fall in love with him all over again. I know that for me there are no other choices, because I can't breathe without him. Life without him isn't any option. I know when we are together time stops briefly and the whole world is perfect, but when we are apart it feels like the world is coming to an end.

[Julie+Matt 84]

The encouraging words are appreciated, as I know everyone on this site is missing someone or has been threw the exact same thing as me. One of the main reasons I was hesitant to start a relationship with my fiancé (change our status from best friends to husband & wife) was because he was in another country. At that time I didn't even think about a K1 visa or actually marrying him. The more that we see each other everyday, and talk/text the more I fall in love with him all over again. I know that for me there are no other choices, because I can't breathe without him. Life without him isn't any option. I know when we are together time stops briefly and the whole world is perfect, but when we are apart it feels like the world is coming to an end.

My world feels empty without him. I know what you mean. We've met in person twice & it's never been awkward (the first ten mins were the first time because I was exhausted & had driven to his flat & driving in England is not the same as the US. I scraped a parked car & was freaked out) he quickly calmed me down with a hug & an energy drink & we were perfect together. Within 15 mins I knew my feelings were right & we were soul mates. I can't wait til he's here. I hate tsc.

I've also said on here before that it's impossible for people to understand what I'm going through. He's not a murderer, he's not evil. He's the sweetest man alive & I doubt anyone I know would be willing to go through this to be with their significant other. But he's worth all the torment.

I also work 6 days a week (hopefully 7 soon if I get the second job I want-one day pays nearly as much as I make in a week) & I play video games, watch netflix, work out & dream about being with him permanently.

Edited June 5, 2014 by Jewels7377

[jaimelee 12]

My fiancé and I have a set(ish) time that we Skype every night, it helps me to know that about this time he will be connecting and we can be with each other for the rest of the night. While we chat we both try to stay off of social networking sites or off of our phones and just make it really our time, which seems to help. We also spend every night with the webcam on (all you can see is darkness) but if he wants to talk to me in the middle of the night he can and vise versa, and then in the morning whomever wakes up first for work will wake up the other and we say goodbye and have a good day at that point. It does not satisfy my wishes to be with him and does not completely cure the pain that we both go through on a daily basis but it helps.

We also speak through Line and Viber using the data on our phones everyday. We send each other photos, goofy stickers and enjoy each other throughout the day. Because of these applications we never really leave each others side.

Another thing we make sure to do is have the lines of communication open, if I am having a really bad day that day and am having a difficult time dealing with us being apart I tell him. He has a way of speaking to me that calms me, he reminds me that we will be together again one day, tells me what that day will be like and now reminds me of how close (hopefully) that day is.

Ive found that if I am not working and he's not around on either Skype, Viber or Line, I need to find something to do to preoccupy me. I've started reading again, planning our wedding always makes me smile and happy, even talking to someone about him or about the experiences we've lived together makes me happy, or revisiting our photos and videos together.

Its a hard time, a really hard time. But its all worth it in the end and what makes you happy is worth waiting and fighting for. I am not a patient person either, but if I get it in my head how long its gong to take (I exaggerated it to he will be here in October we started our process in March) and don't count the days, they go by faster … hang in there!

[NKrishMT 17]

This thread made me cry ?

I and the hubby have been away from each other for nearly 6 months now since he went back to the US. Weve been in a long distance relationship since 2011, been through a break-up and then reconciliation...and then we realized we really do love each other, so we decided to get married on Nov 2013 here in my home country, had the best time of our lives for two months.

And then wasted our time waiting for my birth certificate to be corrected thinking it's a requirement for i-130 petition...we could have started the process in January if only we knew about the process. So now, we are May-Filers.

I miss him sooooo much, everyday. I think about him all the time. Like you guys, we would spend our days off talking to each other via Skype, FB msg each other, Viber...anything that could help us ease our sadness. Sometimes, I would cry myself to sleep.... I know other people who have not experienced LDR can not relate to the emptiness we feel... but I believe that I'm experiencing all of these for the good. And it will be worth the wait. I hope his boss approves his vacation leave soon.

[Amazing2 1]

I agree it is very hard. Benfrank and I Skype at least 3 times a day during the week and random times on weekends. We message through out the day I've had to learn patience. It's been since November that i have visited. We are April filers..I hope soon we should hear something, I miss him so much.

[yuna628 9,547]

The encouraging words are appreciated, as I know everyone on this site is missing someone or has been threw the exact same thing as me. One of the main reasons I was hesitant to start a relationship with my fiancé (change our status from best friends to husband & wife) was because he was in another country. At that time I didn't even think about a K1 visa or actually marrying him. The more that we see each other everyday, and talk/text the more I fall in love with him all over again. I know that for me there are no other choices, because I can't breathe without him. Life without him isn't any option. I know when we are together time stops briefly and the whole world is perfect, but when we are apart it feels like the world is coming to an end.

It doesn't get easier until the day comes when you are together, I wish I could tell you it will. After ten years of waiting we've had enough and are now doing something about it. But.. there hasn't been a day that has gone by that we haven't spoken in some form. Saying goodbye in the airport as many times as we have is never easy, but neither is it saying goodnight via phone or webcam or voicechat every day. When he's busy working I tend to have to do something productive - be it gardening, cooking.. even cleaning. As mundane as it sounds.. at least it's something. We'll talk for hours about the most simple of things not even realizing how fast the time has gone by, and there's never much difference there when we're together either.. except for those quiet moments when all you could really use is a hug or the comfort of just being in the same room. Now those are the most precious moments in the world. Being in relationships like this, I think all makes everyone be a little bit more appreciative every day, and never take anything or anyone for granted.

Some days are worse than others, I won't lie and say the anxious twisting feeling you may get in your heart or the crying you may do at night will ease away now. But it will in time and before you know it good things will happen.

My advice is try to keep busy as much as you can. Take each day in stride. Cherish even these moments when they are difficult, because they are still moments together despite the circumstances.