Anyone Happy they Moved to the USA?

[glh618 2]

RojoGringo,

Congratulations! Recognizing and appreciating the potential culture shock that your fiance will encounter will go a long way to help you minimize the trauma. My wife and I are in a similar situation and I share the concerns that you expressed. (She is scheduled for her interview on the 23rd and "embassy/CBP-willing" she will arrive here in May.)

Here's my suggestions:

1. Talk. Share with her as many of the things that you can think of "what to expect." My wife (from China) and I talk daily and include as many topics from traffic, commuting, restaurants, shopping, work, holidays, everything we can think of. Having gone to China four times this past year, gave us an opportunity to compare how day-to-day activities are different. The more we talk, the more she understands what to expect AND it helps me ensure that I don't take even the simple things for granted.

2. (If applicable) Keep the connections to their home country open. My wife comes from a large family and in China, family is central. We have made sure that she and her entire family, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, etc and her friends will remain connected via telephone calls, skype, and email. (We were fortunate to find a phone service that gave us 1000 minutes for about $10 a month.

3. As others have suggested, get out and meet people--particularly if you can find others from their home country.

4. Be sympathetic and understanding. There will definitely be times when your fiance will be homesick-its only natural. For us, we have already discussed and plan on doing is making regular trips back to China.

You're undoubtedly already ahead of the situation by realizing there are certain to be less than perfect times. Good luck!

[Cathi 5,610]

My husband has no regrets about moving to the US. He has been here a year and a half. It took him 5 months to find his first job His first job was in Walmart, it was a nightmare, they treated him like dirt and he was loading trucks, but he was happy just to be be working. When he worked at Walmart he bought a brand new car. After 5 months of working at Walmart he landed his dream job in his field of engineering, ever since then it's been smooth sailing, and just yesterday we bought our first home together. He loves it here, he loves his job ,he goes to the gym, he has made new friends and goes out with them at least once a week, he said he can't imagine moving back home although he misses home and friends. We are going to Jordan in May for a month to visit and bringing the kids with us. Can't wait.

Edited April 9, 2014 by mimolicious

[Morningmist 76]

I came here as a student. Like all places I've been to, it depends on where you live and who you know. When I came here as a student, the first few years I had no difficulty making friends. Got into a relationship with an American guy that didn't work out. Then I moved for work and I only made one friend. It was really hard getting to know people and overall I was miserable. I moved again, this time to a bigger city and life has been fulfilling. I met my husband and I had a kid.

[ustrack 3]

change is very light yet very heavy. when it is light let her carry it but when it is heavy you help her that is what marriage is about... helping each other... I am going through my change now and when i get tired of staying home (been here only 5 weeks) i get down but then i rise again and look at the big picture... i am with my loved one....which is what i need...

[Udella&Wiz 325]

It's an ongoing process. She may love it initially but homesickness can set in later or it may never set-in. Almost 7 yrs later, I am fine but I can have a day where I hate everything and miss my family and friends back home but it also passes. I;ve had it happen to me enough to know the feeling won't last forever. I usually feel down when I come back from a visit back home for a day or 2 but sometimes I am glad to be back to my own house.

Understanding that there will be ups and downs and helping her through them is the best you can do.

[Marilyn. 340]

I have been here about 9 years now. I am happy here with my husband and daughter. I am sad that I can't see my family very often especially now that my daughter is here and really won't get to know her grandparents and aunts and uncles all that well..

[GazaSlimaz 43]

Its a culture shock at first. Everything will be different from what she is used to. When I first moved here 10 years ago I was 19 and was being away from my mom and the family I was raised with for the first time. I think I cried everyday for a whole month. But after I started getting around, meeting people and getting used to the side of the family I wasn't raised with, I learned to deal with it. Once she gets here and starts getting on with life and getting involved in things, meeting people, and just learning the American culture she will be fine and then she also has you to take her around and introduce her to new people and things. She'll end up loving it.

[Jamie & Izzy 98]

The Important thing is to be with your loved ones no matter where, My husband and i been were together in like 5 countries so far but it really does not matter as long as i am with him.

I already been to the us in total of 8 month and like i said as long as we are together that all that matter

[fania&nelson 20]

I haven't moved yet, I'm also from Colombia, from Barranquilla to be more exact, this is a small city, and I've lived my whole life in the same house, I know everyone in my neighborhood and city basically and I have a very good job as an english teacher.

I'll be moving to NYC with my husband whenever this process is over and I know it's going to be hard and I'll be sad for a while, but I also know I'll be with him and that will amke it all worth it. I haven't even left and we're already planning our vacation for next year when we'll come back to Colombia to visit my family.

I already have a few friends in the area near his place so that will make the transition easier, and I plan on going to the gym so I can meet more people while I'm trying to find a job.

Hopefully I'll get a job quickly and that will help me make new friends.

Also videocalls where my best friendsduring a 6-year-long long distance relationship so I'll keep trusting them to keep me in contact with my family in Colombia.

[S & P 10]

That you are aware of the fact that moving to the US to be with you may be a difficult thing for her and that you are concerned and seeking information on ways to help her speaks volumes on how you feel about this woman, how you care, Love above all prevails, just hang on to that and continue to help her and I bet she'll be just fine

[Naisha 5]

It was uncomfortable in the first couple of weeks due to the changes that I'm going through. Adapting to changes here was harder than I thought. But after a few weeks, I was able to adjust. I've been working since I graduated college and I know that once I get here, I will be staying in the house for a few months until I get my EAD. I have a long threshold of boredom though, but still I want to avoid going to that lonely side so I keep myself busy. I start learning to cook as the only method of cooking I know is frying lol. My husband bought me baking utensils and I started baking. Surprisingly, I am getting better in cooking and baking now, my chinese dishes are even better than the food at Panda Express lol. I bought nail art kit and start doing my nails (new designs every week lol). I bought sketch pad, colors and granite pencils and started sketching (since art is my passion). I started blogging. I started going to the gym, I joined the Zumba class regardless of me being a lazy bum. The winter here in Chicago was wicked that I couldn't stay outside for 5 mins because its was so cold and my body was not used to it. So I decided to take a walk in the morning everyday to let my body get used to the weather and I could say that it helped my body to adjust to the cold weather here. My husband introduced me to his friends and their wives. And I started becoming friends with the wives and some of them are Filipinos which is a good thing because it makes me feel closer to home. My husband is very supportive in everything and he's always making an effort so that I won't get bored and lonely because he knows that I spend 80% of the day at home and there will come a time that he will go to deployment again. It's just him and me. His family is in California. That's why I write a daily to-do list so to keep me on track with my routine because once you develop a routine it will be easier. From cleaning the house, to cooking, to doing the laundry, to watching my favorite show on Netfilx, to schedule appointments, to writing the checks, sorting the mails, checking and tracking our finances.... I take care everything that concern the house....

Just be supportive once your fiance gets here. It could be tough but it's worthwhile. And yeah, I've been here for almost 4 months now and I'm happy. I'm happy being married to the love of my life and being on this journey together with him. It made me grow personally.

[Dia0077 16]

hello friend.... i m colombian too, my husband is american, he was moving at first time to colombia, but was more dificult for him bcs he dont speak spanish, n i was asking the visa turist for visit usa with him but they said no for me, after that we start thinking in move to usa, i m so happy married with my husband, he is a good precious man, n i adore him, first time thinks r different, but that is not bad at all, is funny, lovely, u can enjoy eachother so much, n we r colombian, i think 1 colombian can be adapted to all places, u both just need work in ur own happiness, so no matter where r u both, if u do of ur life such a good thing!!!

[Holly2234 66]

I have had so many ups and downs its unreal. I am right at the end of my divorce now and ready to start the ROC process with a waiver.

My husband and i lived together in the UK for a couple of years but he made far too many false promises and painted a picture of a life here that was simply to get me to agree to come here! I originally didnt want to but we never could agree on where to live. The UK just happened because i was pregnant with our daughter after we had been travelling back and forth for a year so it made sense for me to stay put.

Once i got here, everything was just totally different to what he had described. He refused to learn to drive, wouldnt let me learn, took so many days off work that he told me i couldnt buy groceries and refused to let me work.

Time went on and i got a job and started learning to drive and making friends. But he hated it, he wanted me to stay indoors and cook and clean.

Eventually it led to me leaving him after things got so bad that i wasnt going home at night after work until i knew he would be in bed. I moved out and had to survive on my own. He then stole our daughter for 2 weeks until he decided he couldnt cope and gave her back.

I went to court last week for child support (had no help for 11 months) and he is now resenting me for it.

The thing that is the worst for me in all of this is that he blames me for the break up and tries to take everything ive got when i came here based upon false promises just to get me here and left my entire life behind and i have no chance of visiting the UK.

But i stay positive and i try not to dwell on the crappy times ive been through. I often get asked how i remain happy, but i just dont think about it.

The best thing you can do for your partner is to encourage her success. Be there right by her side as she slowly moves up in the world and try your best to understand.

[TBoneTX 43,060]

RojoGringo, here's something else:

When Mrs. T-B.-to-be got here, one of the first things that I did was to drop her at a Spanish-language church on Sunday. (Note: she's not religious at all.) After the first visit, she came out chatting merrily with new acquaintances. I don't think that it took 3 visits before she had a full complement of new acquaintances. Twice, she even introduced her new amigas to me.

Of note, and to my knowledge, none of those direct contacts has endured, but she made a great many lasting friends through them. Networking can be a powerful thing.

Even if she's not the religion of the particular church, find a Spanish-language service anywhere and drop her there within 3 weeks of her U.S. entry.

An additional advantage of a Spanish-language service is that the attendees will largely be people of good character.

---

There should certainly also be Spanish-speaking people in free English classes. Even if her English is already good, the instructor will consider her to be an asset to the class, which will help her to feel accepted and valued.

Edited April 10, 2014 by TBoneTX

[cdy 1]

Mywife and her two teenage daughters made the move 6 months ago, everyone is adapting well, she now has her work permit and will have her license next week, her biggest problem, boredom, the girls no issues, they have school and friends, living in Orlando there are lots of Colombians, even a couple of friends, all i know would not want to go back to Colombia to live, when they retire possibly but none would care to go back to work.

Of course Detroit would be a bigger adjustment, hopefully she is from Bogota and use to a chill in the air, my Paisa wife would probably be on a plane at the first sign of snow, she thinks it is cold when it is 60.