Things went wrong....How do I get her out of my house

[N and J 88]

Take all her stuff and put it outside, change the locks and tell her you are not putting up with her being mean and rude. I don't think you can send her back, being she didn't come with a receipt but you can make her leave. Tell her to screw.

[USAmale 1]

Contact a family law attorney. ASAP

[JRF 117]

Almost 12 hours ago azar posted for help. So many have been kind enough to reply but where is azar?

I'd call him but...ya know. The phone is gone...

[SBB 74]

Take all her stuff and put it outside, change the locks and tell her you are not putting up with her being mean and rude. I don't think you can send her back, being she didn't come with a receipt but you can make her leave. Tell her to screw.

That would be about the stupidest thing he could possibly do. She is legally entitled to live in that house and if he tries to illegally evict her it will bite him in the ### in divorce proceedings.

[Natanloupan 11]

"Send her back"? She's not an Amazon delivery you didn't want.

Yes , lets use the Amazon drone !

[TBoneTX 43,133]

The OP appears to be a long-time VJ member. He's had plenty of response to consider. Let's let him come back before accusing him of anything or repeating advice already given.

[HI-UG 4]

The OP appears to be a long-time VJ member. He's had plenty of response to consider. Let's let him come back before accusing him of anything or repeating advice already given.

Good advice. I'll give some advice not already given.

Wangari Maathai, the Nobel Peace Prize winner, said "The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now." Yes, azar has been on here for close to four years. And he and Marivel have been living together for about a year and a half. But I don't see any posts before this one! Waiting until things are bad enough (or seem so after a few drinks, perhaps) to make one post this sort of rant is obviously far less desirable than seeking advice much earlier. But at least he's asked now - better late than never.

Second, I am sure there are plenty of us on here who - especially early on - had days whether both partners thought "my god, what have I gotten myself into?!" Our previous lives on opposite sides of the world (or whatever) didn't really give us the time to get to know each other, each other's cultures, and each other's surroundings, all that well. Sometimes the process is delayed a couple months, as it was for azar - and for us. I certainly remember some conversations along the lines of "well, yes, you told me what your life was like, in detail, but I didn't think you were serious." It can take a lot of time to really sort things out. If the first six months were okay, then the next six months were worse, and the six months after that even worse, then things may not be going in the right direction. But if things are gradually improving, I'd say work at it.

Finally, if you are going to work at it, instead of lawyering up, seek advice or counsel, not just on here, but from marriage and family counselors, therapists, priests, other people you know who've been married a long time, etc.

Edited February 5, 2014 by HI-UG

[Classicrider 3]

Where or where did Azar go...or where oh where can he be???? You guys all fell for it.... He dropped a seed and is laughing watching it grow...like this.....

I said almost the exact same thing 13 posts ago...

[Ketsuban 1,034]

Seriously?

Sure, you could file a report, but it would be frivolous and the police would do absolutely nothing about it.

As far as the police will be concerned, the phone is communal property and she has every right to the cell phone as he does. She can take his wallet … sell the car … empty the contents of the home … get rid of the clothes he wears … etc. There is no theft between spouses as far as the law is concerned (assuming there are no Orders of the Court in place protecting one's self or assets).

Interestingly, if the phone was acquired prior to marriage and used solely by one spouse, then that spouse may be able to claim it as pre-marital property during the division of assets in a divorce, but the police aren't going to be concerned with that #######.

My colleague at work had to file a police report for a stolen phone in order to get her insurance company to pay out for a new one. That would be one reason for doing it.

[novedsac 355]

My colleague at work had to file a police report for a stolen phone in order to get her insurance company to pay out for a new one. That would be one reason for doing it.

If it was taken by a spouse, then it wasn't stolen.

My ex-wife broke three of the windows of our home after she had moved out but before I had a Court Order keeping her out - and my insurance company refused to pay … why? … because they were her windows too and she broke them intentionally, which was her right.

Could have secured the payout if I just reported that they were broken and I didn't know who had done it … but that would have been dishonest.

Edited February 7, 2014 by novedsac

[Lara826 2]

Why does he 'have' to leave? He has as much right to stay in the marital home as she has.

Well, he wouldn't have to leave. But he can't make her either. You are right- they both equally have the right to stay in the marital house. So if he does not want to be in the same house with her, he would have to leave. At least until something got worked out down the road with the divorce, etc....

[Niblet 22]

you didnt see this coming before you got her the GC????

[Hollyday 122]

If the locks are changed and she's still legally his wife is she not allowed to call a locksmith and change them as well?

To the OP: if it is 'marriage fraud' - and if you have proof - report her, if it is 'marriage failure' - either get couples counseling or file for a divorce. If it was a marriage entered in good faith by both of you you have no business sending her back. Divorce, split assets, move on.

[Shiobhan 235]

Changing locks and putting out her clothes? then

your right will become the wrong that's not legal

[rlogan 2,036]

2) People are not commodities to be "sent back" if you don't like them.

We can always count on a bad-intentioned poster making this infantile comment. People are not commodities? Really? What tremendous insight into humanity. Since he said no such thing, the only purpose of saying this is to kick someone that is already down.