K1 Visa - I won't marry him!

[Gosia & Tito 199]

disagree. fiance was told, repeatedly, what to expect, prior. Fiance chose to disregard all. This is not any 'adjust to life in USA' problem. Still, it's nice when people form other opinions based on the same stuff that I read, so thanks for sharing !

It's rarer than snow, ice or sleet coming down in Houston that I disagree with your posts Darnell -just happened couple of days ago, but I disagree on the disagree.

A fiance/e can be told repeatedly and in explicit terms what to expect; fiance/e might have been visiting in the US for some time, and it still can be a culture shock.

Some recover quick and adjust promptly without much of a problem; others take time -short, long, and eventually make the transition; some others never do but make it bearable; others will eventually return to their homeland with or without spouse. Seen at least one case of each and often the USC spouse has a great deal of impact (but not 100% in my anecdotal experience) in the final outcome.

[JnRMo 16]

I agree with you Lynne - hearing about a place and living there are two completely different things. When I've lived overseas a lot of things that seemed great really started to wear on me before long. Like, I knew Tokyo was crowded, but it started to make me feel claustrophobic after living there for a few months.

I also think there may be cultural differences in the level of familiarity that comes with being married. Arranged marriage doesn't seem to be uncommon in Morocco, and I feel like countries that have that as a more recent tradition tend to spend more time building a relationship after a marriage than before - then again, I could be way off. It seems like they got along, just hadn't really built up the relationship up to the point where she was comfortable being intimate on the level needed to actually live with someone in that capacity.

The fiance sounds lazy when it comes to learning about what life would be like here, and the view in his head sounds completely unrealistic. I am curious what his brother does. However, knowing he would have 5.5 months of nothing, maybe he should have found a hobby he could do to keep busy. The fact that the OP works from home also makes this difficult, as he's got nothing really to do but stand there. When I work from home, my dog is always bringing toys over trying to get me to play with him. It's the same with the fiance, you can't just expect someone to be around you and pay 0 attention to them.

[Justine+David 218]

The OP is mostly at fault here. She has 3 kids, works hard at a job, so she should have her ####### together more than she does right now. With all that life experience, she has been incredibly naive in thinking that no matter how many times you tell someone what life is like coming from a third world country, they can't truly grasp everything until they get here. Why would she only spend 8 days on a "vacation" with him before deciding to get married?

I feel bad for him...it might be a scam, it might not be a scam. Either way, the USC is at fault for not having enough street smarts, especially when she has 3 kids that she needs to look out for.

Unless she gets married, there is absolutely no recourse for the fiance because he has to be married to apply to VAWA and even if he marries another US citizen, he won't be able to adjust while staying here because he entered on a K1. Sadly...he has no path for legal immigration while staying here. Anyone suggesting she should get married to get him a legal stay is advocating against VJ's TOS.

[BraveAmnay 56]

Sorry heard that .My point of view he should not stay there at all who know maybe things will change by then but really hope he back home .while one one door is closed many are open." back home live with dignity rather live there illegal as criminel " One question i dont understand how you change your mind so faster !!!!!!!!!! Sorry for him

[livindadream 156]

I just cant believe the excuses and justifications. I'm the USC married to my Nigerian husband and we've been living together for nearly 5 years here in Ghana. I go back and forth from the States to Ghana at least 3 times a year, staying no less than 3 months at a time in Ghana. I did plenty of research before ever stepping foot here and even now in year 5, I still experience culture shock. A day doesn't go by that I don't look around and wonder where the heck am I again? At times I'm grouchy from being homesick, I'm clingy to my husband because he's all I have here, I'm discouraged at the lack of things I'm able to do here without being a Ghanaian citizen, etc. So just imagine what this guy, whose been in the States all of two weeks is going through. If there is real love that brought you two together, then you should be figuring out how to overcome his issues and make your relationship work. If his brother can afford a ticket for him to come to CA, maybe the brother should buy a ticket and come visit the two of you and try to help him adjust to life in the States. At this point I'm just angered that the time it took someone to process your petition and for someone to interview your husband, could've been time used on a petition that belonged to two people who really know what they want.

[Abdo.Gauchô 16]

People like u who has fake relationship make it hard for who are serious like Us . Thnx a lot

[Wyld Blu 35]

People like u who has fake relationship make it hard for who are serious like Us . Thnx a lot

I don't think it was a fake relationship. I think it was a wholly unrealistic relationship. I think she thought as soon as he got here, life would be smooth, easy, with no adjustments needed. And I think he thought whatever his fantasies about living in the USA were reality without ever researching the truth. People like this may think they will have a wonderful life together. However, without the work it actually takes, the relationship goes south very quickly, as evidenced by the OP's post.

[Ryan H 3,791]

One post violating the TOS removed; Administrative Action taken.

[Ingrid28 69]

In plain English, this lady is wicked and cold hearted. She could at least take the time out to know the guy, why the rush. Then he comes to her country and bram, she feed him to the dogs. Remember there is a God looking down low and that she has children, reaction can be a . If doesn't reach you then it sure will get to someone you love. Have a heart you are too heartless, kmt.

[Ryan H 3,791]

***After reviewing this thread, it contains a high amount of judgemental comments and for that reason, it is now closed. OP has been given sufficient amount of information in response to her queries. If the OP has any additional questions, a new thread can be started.***