Coming to VJ for support?

[yorubaqueen13 28]

What you stated is sad but a harsh reality on VJ. Most of the veterans or the members are polite and considerate, but you can't expect not to come across the blunt and bitter ones! This is a huge group of people from all over the world with different backgrounds and pasts. It is bound to happen. Take it with grain of salt.

It is important to keep in mind that not everyone will respond the way you would treat them if you had the chance. Yet, one can set examples for others to follow. I have an endless respect for the members who have been here for years and are still giving great advice even after their visa journey is over just to lend a hand or an advice to someone in need.

It takes all kinds so people to make this world go around....and it makes you stand out for your examples which you set which is in your hands...

Stay blessed and thanks for the heartfelt post. Good luck and best wishes in your journey.

I agree 100% and thank you!! God bless u as well there are many walks of life for sure n were all Gods children...

[Darnell 8,478]

But peers r fair game right?

Learn who your peers are, and sally forth.

But i can expect that if i give them advice on an empathetic level that i may be doin some good and helping.

It's exceptionally difficult to show empathy in written medium.

[Darnell 8,478]

Veterans r not the only ones that answer questions with attitudes

My 'attitude' is an acquired taste. Tis not for all, but I strive, mostly, to not be acerbic. I know acerbic, very well.

[TBoneTX 43,538]

there are just too many new people who come here looking for advice but refuse to listen. They think they know it all, refuse to listen, or try to dictate the manner in which the advice is given and that makes the people who give the advice come around less and less. A lot of the main people who were here 6 months to a year ago are rarely on anymore, and I don't blame them.

^^This.^^ In addition, when a thread is populated by new members who don't know what they don't know, sometimes a pointed piece of information or a blunt correction is exactly what's called for. Learn, please. If we "veterans" had had your current attitude when we were at your stage, almost all of us probably would have washed out -- not only from VJ, but from the immigration process as a whole.

[B & G 200]

In a perfect world, everyone would be nice to each other. Unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world.

Vanessa's post pretty much covered as to why some replies would seem abrupt or insensitive to a new user.

If you hang around on VJ long enough, you start to realise that most people aren't blunt or insensitive when they answer a question or correct something a poster has posted.They are precise and straight to the point with their answers, which at the end of the day is what this site was created for, information on how to complete an immigration petition.

Also, there are plenty of topics floating around VJ that have been specifically created to just provide support to members, to vent, cry, laugh..whatever strikes your mood. And if you don't find one to your liking, you can always create one. Like-minded members will come long soon enough, and you can build your support group there. I just wouldn't expect it from every single member on VJ.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

You know, we're just people. People who have sh*tty days just like you. My husband had surgery last week, yesterday his truck broke down so I had to go and "rescue" him and his truck (in 93F heat), today I drove him to work, getting myself to work 2 hours early with the building locked so having to stand outside until someone came (and hour later) to let me in. Then today he had a follow-up for the surgery (which was thankfully positive). The part for his truck is not available until tomorrow so I will be up early again tomorrow. It's already been a VERY long week.

Please remember that some of us have shitty weeks/days/months and we shouldn't have to explain that (though I know you're not asking I'm trying to make a point ). I try VERY hard to remember that other people have crappy days just like I do, so I try not to take the occasional sharp comment to heart. I also try and remember that words can hurt which is why I try very hard not to insult/denigrate people. Should I be more careful sometimes? Sure. But you know what, this week has sucked so far and that's reflected in my no-nonsense posts.

Okay so hit the report button, tell a mod and wait for them to be punished for it. Otherwise you risk looking like the bad guy and assisting in the thread devolving. usually a mod will be along, clean up the bad stuff and we all pretend it didn't happen.

I just want to say that I hope your husband is feeling much better now, and I wish him a very speedy recovery.

[hikergirl 277]

I don't think I'll be here in four years. Like most people, I'm here for help and quick answers. After my wife gets her visa I probably won't visit this site again.

I understand how the same question over and over again can get annoying after a while, but you've gotta understand too that new people are probably visiting this site every day and aren't aware how helpful the search function is.

Personally, I use the search function all the time. It just sucks when I see a post where someone gets the "hammer" for asking a question that's already been answered. Poor fellow!

Just an observation, please don't give me the "hammer"

Justin

Unfortunately you are stuck dealing with USCIS until your wife gets her citizenship. The visa is only the middle of the journey, you’ll still most likely have ROC and applying for citizenship to deal with.

A lot of people “take a break” and then come back to do the next step. Some people, we are lucky enough to have stick around to share their journey and answer questions. There are certain threads in which the mods who run them are invaluable.

To the OP, sometimes it may seem like someone is being rude when you are reading their posts. But each of us comes from a country where the language is spoken a little differently and different words mean different things. What is perceived as rude where I am from, may not be considered rude where someone else is from. I don’t know the exact thread you are talking about but I have seen threads denigrate and quickly. As was suggested, report the post.

[dwheels76 5,463]

VJ is such a great tool to get great info and support from others... Why is it so hard to be nice n less controlling? Who monitors this stuff? It can be depressing sometimes in an already trying time.. This probly is not the correct forum to post this topic im very sorry in advance but im a new member and i enjoy reading informational posts and conversations but i do not appreciate the few people that come across as if they are superior in this process. My question is.... If we cant come here to ask questions/ make comments about our journey without being plucked out of a group of participants and being attacked for having different views, where do we go? Im not expecting to make life long friends here but i never imagined being treated in such a mannor that i felt i needed to have my defense mode on high at all times! Giving advice is great, accepting veterans advice is smart, but i dont think the people giving advice should be allowed to be so belittling when advising others. Its sad people feel they dont need to be polite just becuz they know more. Thats why we initially come here to VJ, to get responses from others who have answers to our questions. Can it be given a little more tactfully? Most people are on here with kind helping hearts! Thank u to them!

I can sure appreciate your frustration I am sure everyone at one point rolled their eyes at someones response that may have been a bit harsh. But you do have to just take it at face value.

See some people on this site whether veteran or novice DO NOT know how to put filters on their thoughts so everything they feel and think on a question, post or Topic just spells out. So the "OMG what have you been doing for the last 8 months before your NOA2. Read the guides" comes out their fingers (or heart). Instead of just saying "congratulations hang in their please go to the NVC filers thread and read post #1 and #2".

I don't think anyone means any disrespect or to be "mean" its just frustration at times when you know you did your homework and due diligence and along comes "lazy" who just finds out after a year of waiting they need to fill out a affidavit of support and they haven't worked in a million years and can we help. That borders on my hair catching fire and eyes rollin. I choose to just skip those topics and post. But some, like that wreck you can't turn from just have to say their 2 cents.

So just hang on, take the bitter with the sweet. Report abuse click the report button. I know I have. Harassment and threats should not and will not be tolerated. It is well. God bless.

[yorubaqueen13 28]

Learn who your peers are, and sally forth.

It's exceptionally difficult to show empathy in written medium.

Im sorry u feel that way .. I express myself very well in written form as well as verbal form ( others may not) but putting yourself in sumbody elses shoes and expressing it in writting is not real difficult and considering what we are all on here discussing..... Well its a no brainer...

[yorubaqueen13 28]

I can sure appreciate your frustration I am sure everyone at one point rolled their eyes at someones response that may have been a bit harsh. But you do have to just take it at face value.

See some people on this site whether veteran or novice DO NOT know how to put filters on their thoughts so everything they feel and think on a question, post or Topic just spells out. So the "OMG what have you been doing for the last 8 months before your NOA2. Read the guides" comes out their fingers (or heart). Instead of just saying "congratulations hang in their please go to the NVC filers thread and read post #1 and #2".

I don't think anyone means any disrespect or to be "mean" its just frustration at times when you know you did your homework and due diligence and along comes "lazy" who just finds out after a year of waiting they need to fill out a affidavit of support and they haven't worked in a million years and can we help. That borders on my hair catching fire and eyes rollin. I choose to just skip those topics and post. But some, like that wreck you can't turn from just have to say their 2 cents.

So just hang on, take the bitter with the sweet. Report abuse click the report button. I know I have. Harassment and threats should not and will not be tolerated. It is well. God bless.

thank you so much n God Bless u to! Your sumone i look up to n have great respect for on here... In a short time u learn who to avoid n who to speak with! Thank u for all your support u give others... God bless u for your work

[Alieu1980 0]

I am new to VJ, can someone tell me how to post a question on VJ?

[Darnell 8,478]

I am new to VJ, can someone tell me how to post a question on VJ?

Sure ! get on a PC (ditch the handphone) and study -> http://www.visajourney.com/content/newmembers

[yorubaqueen13 28]

Sure ! get on a PC (ditch the handphone) and study -> http://www.visajourney.com/content/newmembers

U can use a phone, n study? Just look up the for that suites u and post just like u did here

I am new to VJ, can someone tell me how to post a question on VJ?

Yes just look at the different forums m post like u did here in the relevant forum n ppl will answer u .... Welcome to VJ

[GandD 5,966]

U can use a phone, n study? Just look up the for that suites u and post just like u did here

Darnell can be quite a character but he is nearly always available and gives fantastic immigration advice. I don't blame him or many of the other veterans for not wanting to waste their time with teaching people how to use a computer. This site can be difficult to navigate for complex unique immigration issues, but clicking post new topic is something that anyone can figure out. There is a level of respect that newbies can offer vets by attempting to figure out something before giving up and asking for advice. In fact, there are so many guides and examples that most people need never ask any questions. But hey, computers aren't for everyone and some people have difficulties using them. There is an entire network of lawyers that can help them for a cost. Now, if you want to avoid high fees or don't have the money, this site can help you as long as you spend some time learning and reading.

Think of it like working on a car. Two options, pay someone to do it or do it yourself. If you want to do it yourself, either figure it out or read about it. That's how you get things for free. Auto Mechanics in online forums like having their skills tested. Asking them how to air up a tire may be a little insulting neigh?

[Darnell 8,478]

U can use a phone, n study?

Interesting, you just reversed what I said. Apologies.