K-1 denied :(

[NY_BX 397]

I originally asked for clarification on the issue, which I have received. I personally don't see the connection, and don't necessarily agree with it, but I can see how some might. You clarified it by stating it was a very small part by itself, but when combined with other issues, it could cause further scrutiny. That much, I can agree with.

Say for instance, you've never been outside the US and suddenly you 'meet' a man from a MENA country. Suddenly you're smitten in love. It happens everyday, it's happening right now.

Then you go and visit him. You have the time of your life. He has reserved the most expensive hotel for you calling it a 'romantic vacation' he's paying for. He wants to dedicate all the time just for you- no one else. You feel the love, to the point you engage in intimacy. He loves you so much he kisses you in public, at the beach, sunset in the background. (By the way, the "you" is not directed at you- just clarifying). Wow! so much romance, so much passion... You return home and you petition for him. He calls you everyday, emails you, shows you more love.

Does all of that sound good to you? I must admit, it sounds good to me. I'd love that fairy tale story! Except for...

Not ONE MENA man in his right mind would ever kiss you in public, let alone engage in intimacy before getting married. Furthermore, he secluded you from his friends and family and broke the law of his country by staying in the same room with you (if he did). Worst, maybe he stayed at home where his real wife lives. And engaged in more "disturbing" behavior by his cultural standards. More than likely, if someone hasn't traveled at all, chances are that person has little to no idea of what the cultural norms are. Some accepted behavior for us is still very taboo in other countries. How does that affect the petitioner? In the case of this particular man, you can already imply he is NOT taking her seriously. Not at all. He is scamming her. He is willing to do the "unthinkable" to get out of his country. He has done research to know what we American ladies like and is playing the part very well.

Some people steal money, some steal hearts. But not all of those heart thieves are well-intentioned.

Edited August 6, 2012 by NY_BX

[aaydrian 479]

This entire situation is a disaster in the making or a train wreck that has already happened. When religion is involved in aspects beyond God help those who help themselves then your are going to fail which is what partially happened here and will worsen to another scammed victim if the OP continues to be blind to the realities of immigration laws and fraud.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Hello,

Be careful, there are many scam artists out there, especially from that part of the world, who use stolen photos to pretend they are someone they are not.

They care about NOONE.

Their goal is to get as much money as possible from their victims and will waste as much time of each victim as necessary to build the false trust and hope.

Those who are unlucky enough to find themselves talking with a scam artist with stolen photos will see the conversation change to: a family member is sick or has been injured and needs money for the hospital bill.

Even talking with the person you are involved with on the phone is not enough.

Before you risk spending anymore time, you must meet this individual in person and/or verify that they are who they say they are in some reliable way.

Best of luck,

notmuch88tosay

[djricky4 67]

Hello,

Be careful, there are many scam artists out there, especially from that part of the world, who use stolen photos to pretend they are someone they are not.

They care about NOONE.

Their goal is to get as much money as possible from their victims and will waste as much time of each victim as necessary to build the false trust and hope.

Those who are unlucky enough to find themselves talking with a scam artist with stolen photos will see the conversation change to: a family member is sick or has been injured and needs money for the hospital bill.

Even talking with the person you are involved with on the phone is not enough.

Before you risk spending anymore time, you must meet this individual in person and/or verify that they are who they say they are in some reliable way.

Best of luck,

notmuch88tosay

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Maybe I missed it, but I still have not seen the OP add any details about how they met, their ages, his line of work, etc?

You did, go back page 5 I believe, she posted some of the information asked.

[khwaidee1 196]

Joining this site has been an eye opening experience. At first I thought it was a bit strange that someone who could not meet the poverty guidlines would want to bring a mate from a foreign country to start a new life here (the U.S. is expensive!)And, now to read about people who have never ever met in person wanting to commit their life and love to that person. While I'm sure it can work from time to time, it just sounds like a recipe for disaster from the start. You're picking a mate for life with a completely different cultural upbringing and set of values, sounds tough to me.

[pushbrk 12,201]

Joining this site has been an eye opening experience. At first I thought it was a bit strange that someone who could not meet the poverty guidlines would want to bring a mate from a foreign country to start a new life here (the U.S. is expensive!)And, now to read about people who have never ever met in person wanting to commit their life and love to that person. While I'm sure it can work from time to time, it just sounds like a recipe for disaster from the start. You're picking a mate for life with a completely different cultural upbringing and set of values, sounds tough to me.

It IS tough, but the site is full of success stories. My wife and I married nearly 7 years ago. She's from a completely different cultural upbringing but not so completely different values. We decided to marry BEFORE meeting in person, and arrived at the marriage office the morning after my arrival in China. Lots of stories like that here. Lots of the others too.

[khwaidee1 196]

It IS tough, but the site is full of success stories. My wife and I married nearly 7 years ago. She's from a completely different cultural upbringing but not so completely different values. We decided to marry BEFORE meeting in person, and arrived at the marriage office the morning after my arrival in China. Lots of stories like that here. Lots of the others too.

Very nice to hear, and I have no doubt there are plenty of such success stories. I guess the concept just seems a bit foreign to me. However, I flew half round the world after only a few phone calls, texts and video chats so I guess I kind of understand. Best of luck to you and your bride!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

One post violating TOS has been removed. Any further comments of this type will lead to administrative action.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

One post violating TOS has been removed. Any further comments of this type will lead to administrative action.

Of which type?

[Teddy B 17,251]

It IS tough, but the site is full of success stories. My wife and I married nearly 7 years ago. She's from a completely different cultural upbringing but not so completely different values. We decided to marry BEFORE meeting in person, and arrived at the marriage office the morning after my arrival in China. Lots of stories like that here. Lots of the others too.

Meeting your wife for the first time on your wedding day would be much more of a red flag than not having travel experience. And you called me naive? Wow!

[Teddy B 17,251]

Say for instance, you've never been outside the US and suddenly you 'meet' a man from a MENA country. Suddenly you're smitten in love. It happens everyday, it's happening right now.

Then you go and visit him. You have the time of your life. He has reserved the most expensive hotel for you calling it a 'romantic vacation' he's paying for. He wants to dedicate all the time just for you- no one else. You feel the love, to the point you engage in intimacy. He loves you so much he kisses you in public, at the beach, sunset in the background. (By the way, the "you" is not directed at you- just clarifying). Wow! so much romance, so much passion... You return home and you petition for him. He calls you everyday, emails you, shows you more love.

Does all of that sound good to you? I must admit, it sounds good to me. I'd love that fairy tale story! Except for...

Not ONE MENA man in his right mind would ever kiss you in public, let alone engage in intimacy before getting married. Furthermore, he secluded you from his friends and family and broke the law of his country by staying in the same room with you (if he did). Worst, maybe he stayed at home where his real wife lives. And engaged in more "disturbing" behavior by his cultural standards. More than likely, if someone hasn't traveled at all, chances are that person has little to no idea of what the cultural norms are. Some accepted behavior for us is still very taboo in other countries. How does that affect the petitioner? In the case of this particular man, you can already imply he is NOT taking her seriously. Not at all. He is scamming her. He is willing to do the "unthinkable" to get out of his country. He has done research to know what we American ladies like and is playing the part very well.

Some people steal money, some steal hearts. But not all of those heart thieves are well-intentioned.

If a person is naive enough to be scammed in this manner, no matter how many times they have traveled, they will still be susceptable to it. Every story you hear about people being scammed for immigration purposes they most always say that there were signs beforehand, requests for money, or an uneasy feeling in their gut that something isn't right, but they choose to ignore them. Most of these people know deep down that something just aint right, but they choose continue on anyway with the outside hope that it is all real. There is nothing any USCIS officer can do to change their minds. I don't believe a persons travel experience will have any sway in whether they are susceptable to being scammed.

It's just like the Nigerian e-mail scams that claim you've won the lottery or that you've inherited a ton of money. Everyone walking the face of the earth knows that they are fake, but people still fall for them every day.

[pushbrk 12,201]

Meeting your wife for the first time on your wedding day would be much more of a red flag than not having travel experience. And you called me naive? Wow!

Actually it's not but neither fact exists in a vacuum. My wife had one of easiest interviews I've ever heard of in Guangzhou and there are plenty of bad ones. I suggest you do more listening that talking for a while. You seem clueless.

[Teddy B 17,251]

Actually it's not but neither fact exists in a vacuum. My wife had one of easiest interviews I've ever heard of in Guangzhou and there are plenty of bad ones. I suggest you do more listening that talking for a while. You seem clueless.

Really? Cause having met in person before you get married is a requirement for a K-1 visa. It just so happens that you chose to get married outside of the US where it's not as much a factor, but I guarantee it was looked at. Is name calling something you can't control?

Edited August 7, 2012 by Teddy B

[pushbrk 12,201]

If a person is naive enough to be scammed in this manner, no matter how many times they have traveled, they will still be susceptable to it. Every story you hear about people being scammed for immigration purposes they most always say that there were signs beforehand, requests for money, or an uneasy feeling in their gut that something isn't right, but they choose to ignore them. Most of these people know deep down that something just aint right, but they choose continue on anyway with the outside hope that it is all real. There is nothing any USCIS officer can do to change their minds. I don't believe a persons travel experience will have any sway in whether they are susceptable to being scammed.

It's just like the Nigerian e-mail scams that claim you've won the lottery or that you've inherited a ton of money. Everyone walking the face of the earth knows that they are fake, but people still fall for them every day.

Your last sentence is false. It is not possible to "fall for something" if you know it's fake. As for your first paragraph, "Hindsight is 20/20." Not sure why you're pursuing this line of argument. Scams are one of the reasons for the minimum requirements like meeting your fiance(e) or consummating a marriage prior to filing a petition.

Three indisputable facts coexist in the instant context.

1. People will ignore obvious signs something is wrong, when they think they're in love.

2. People will take what seem to many and even themselves to be significant risks that DO pay off.

3. About half all marriages eventually end in divorce, regardless of how the couple met or courted.

Again, the "never traveled" issue is small by itself but usually doesn't exist by itself. Those people are good "targets". Consular officers are on alert to signs of targets, so they can dig deeper to determine if the potential target is actually a victim. Sometimes they are and sometimes they're not.