I told you so!!!

[PlatyPius 5]

Ah..... another "let's bash all of the other members that we don't really like" thread. I'm just waiting now for someone to bring up a past injustice from a year or two ago. No thread is complete without one of those.

Those who are bashing Andy.... you DO realize, I hope, that you are just as bad for bitching him out publicly......

[rebeccajo 14]

Those who are bashing Andy.... you DO realize, I hope, that you are just as bad for bitching him out publicly......

Only responding in kind, my friend.

I AM surprised by Andy's result. My initial thought (after the insult was hurled) was 'well looks like USCIS is having a customer service refresher course - this is one for the books and maybe we should all see if this is a service improvement'. I would also normally say 'well looks like I was wrong on this one'.

But I WON'T stand here and be talked trash to by a little smart a$$ who's gratitude for the amount of time I spent in a PM to him the other night is this kind of immature public rant.

Edited October 7, 2006 by rebeccajo

[Kirsten L 0]

Indeed, Kirsten makes a great diplomat!

I hope you want kids Kirsten. I think you'll make a great mom and offer lots of wisdom to your kids.

Awww...Thanks, SL!!

Edited October 7, 2006 by Kirsten L

[KarenCee 3]

.....Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Visa Lives....

Someone really should make a prime time soap opera about this site...can you just imagine the ratings?????

[Fuzzness 2]

RFE was not processed for over 60 days and this case was expedited? Am I missing something here?

[mybackpages 0]

Wow! How does a little humor, a little sarcasm, a little disagreement and a little jab on andy's part result in such self-righteous, judgemental posts? I've been reading Andy's posts for a long time now. He has always been supportive of other couples and willing to reach out here when he felt frustrated by the process. Andy will be the first to admit sometimes he forgot to just relax and let go, but all of us on this board know how difficult it can be to stay focused and rational 24/7.

In other words, I'm with Andy on this one too.

And if I have a problem, I'm pming Kristen

[faal4anisa 0]

I missed the backstory... What rational did you use that made them say... YES!!!

Since I helped Andy with his letter, let me first explain that he was not at all out of line in sending the expedition request. Nor did he lie as someone, perhaps jokingly, implied. He simply held USCIS to their own published standards. To clarify: He received an RFE that he should not have received in the first place; he nonetheless complied with the RFE; after doing so, he heard nothing within the promised sixty days. He thus engaged congressional support and made the request for expedition invoking his rights under USCIS's own proceedural guidelines. He was honest, calm, concise, and straightforward in his communication with the involved parties. It worked. I applaud him.

This was not about finding loopholes. It was not about repeatedly pushing buttons he shouldn't have. This was simply about respectfully holding USCIS to its own promises and standards. End of story.

Mayb u could help me also my date is over 60 days I would do it also this waiting is terrible no answers an nothing not knowing whats going on plz mail me at anisa4faal@yahoo.com

[limubai2000 0]

Arguing on a message baord is like 2 people trying to kill each other with wiffle bats. Nuff said.

[AndyMisiu 0]

Maybe you’re right about the gloating, and maybe the thread was a bit neener, neener. I just needed to put this thread out there because it's the period I needed. Every time I would post about my tactics, I would be pounded for doing so. But lets be honest “Kiss my bumper!!” I think if I was trying to be rude or offensive I could have chosen some harsher words.

The great thing about a forum is people can come on here for advice and support. People can read others posts and get an idea on how to handle their case, or to read into other’s stories and relate. I've gone through periods of calm, cool, and collective and I've gone through periods of whining! This is true. That's why this site is so great, because if you don't like the thread, you don't have to read it. Some members on this site like to read what I have to say and others can't stand me. Trust me, I'm not losing sleep over it.

This threads main purpose, even if being directed at some naysayers was to be constructive. Everyone is correct. My wait was not crazy and some on here have waited much, much longer. The truth is that I have been patient. My whining came more from fear of complications than the actual waiting. That’s what’s great about this site. At any given time during any given mood, you can post what your feeling at that time. Even if it’s not how you feel the majority of the time. If you new my whole story than you can understand. If you’re new on here, than I guess your coming in a little late and catching the tail end of it. See, the whole time I’ve been trying to cut off possible delays and to be pro-active in my petitioning.

I did file with the new I-129F complying with the IMBRA questions. I did receive an RFE requesting I comply with IMBRA again and send the information that I had already sent. The website did use to say 60 days to process an RFE, and the phone line still does. After talking with a USCIS rep. they still say you should receive a decision within 60 days of the USCIS receiving the RFE. So they need to give you some type of information, and no! I ‘m not and didn’t except “nothing” as an answer. If they don’t want to be held accountable for it, then they should change it. And yes! They do try to meet there goals.

I waited the 60 day's, being patient with the USCIS. During that time I did post some impatient threads on here but actions are louder than words. I directed my energy here and didn’t blow up the phone lines at USCIS until I had due cause. They said 60 days and I held them to that, plus they made a mistake and I brought it to their attention. Maybe the director needs to know when mistakes are made so he can correct them.

So, it is very true that some have waited longer than me and some received the IMBRA RFE just like me. Does that mean I should have sat back and waited just like they did. Does that mean I should have done nothing and just accepted the fate that everyone else was getting. NO! It doesn’t!

Some people in this world are leaders and some are followers. Some keep there head in a hole and some actually try to look outside the box. Some except the cards they are dealt and some look to change the hand.

That brings me to the real meaning of this thread. For all of the people who are looking outside the box. For all of the people who want to get answers. Maybe you can do what I did. I’m not trying to put this in the face of people who have waited longer than I did. It’s really not about that at all. It’s about helping someone new avoid the same fate that others have had. You know somewhere on this site theirs a thread about “James Shortcuts” I believe its in the NVC forum. But I wonder if he was called impatient at first or if he caught the same flack for being pro active in his journey. But now, his shortcuts are used by many to get the results they’re looking for.

All I’m doing is posting my story so that it can help someone else. If your looking to find some answers, maybe you can try what I did. Some people have already PM me for the letter I sent. Some are now looking for answers and want to do the same thing. Should you sit with your thumb in you’re a*s, I say no! that’s my vote.

Will this work for everyone?? Most likely not!! But at least you are trying.

I would wait until you have a window of reason to bring your case to the attention of the USCIS. I wouldn’t go knocking down the door with no reason. But they do say within 60 days for a decision, and they do make mistakes. Oh! And yes! Some files do get misplaced. Just imaging if your file was misplaced, or a request for a name check was misplaced, or your RFE wasn’t put with your file, you would be waiting forever if you never did anything!!! At least faxing an expedite request makes someone look at your file. They do put “compelling interest of USCIS” as a reason for an expedite request. I believe that leaves the door wide open.

Good luck to everyone!! And I truly hope this helps someone!!

[almaty 19]

Can we all be friends now??

Hmmm, I don't know. You just told them to kiss your bumper. Harsh words!

damn, i thought this was a risque topic...

[jasal 0]

Maybe you’re right about the gloating, and maybe the thread was a bit neener, neener. I just needed to put this thread out there because it's the period I needed. Every time I would post about my tactics, I would be pounded for doing so. But lets be honest “Kiss my bumper!!” I think if I was trying to be rude or offensive I could have chosen some harsher words.

The great thing about a forum is people can come on here for advice and support. People can read others posts and get an idea on how to handle their case, or to read into other’s stories and relate. I've gone through periods of calm, cool, and collective and I've gone through periods of whining! This is true. That's why this site is so great, because if you don't like the thread, you don't have to read it. Some members on this site like to read what I have to say and others can't stand me. Trust me, I'm not losing sleep over it.

This threads main purpose, even if being directed at some naysayers was to be constructive. Everyone is correct. My wait was not crazy and some on here have waited much, much longer. The truth is that I have been patient. My whining came more from fear of complications than the actual waiting. That’s what’s great about this site. At any given time during any given mood, you can post what your feeling at that time. Even if it’s not how you feel the majority of the time. If you new my whole story than you can understand. If you’re new on here, than I guess your coming in a little late and catching the tail end of it. See, the whole time I’ve been trying to cut off possible delays and to be pro-active in my petitioning.

I did file with the new I-129F complying with the IMBRA questions. I did receive an RFE requesting I comply with IMBRA again and send the information that I had already sent. The website did use to say 60 days to process an RFE, and the phone line still does. After talking with a USCIS rep. they still say you should receive a decision within 60 days of the USCIS receiving the RFE. So they need to give you some type of information, and no! I ‘m not and didn’t except “nothing” as an answer. If they don’t want to be held accountable for it, then they should change it. And yes! They do try to meet there goals.

I waited the 60 day's, being patient with the USCIS. During that time I did post some impatient threads on here but actions are louder than words. I directed my energy here and didn’t blow up the phone lines at USCIS until I had due cause. They said 60 days and I held them to that, plus they made a mistake and I brought it to their attention. Maybe the director needs to know when mistakes are made so he can correct them.

So, it is very true that some have waited longer than me and some received the IMBRA RFE just like me. Does that mean I should have sat back and waited just like they did. Does that mean I should have done nothing and just accepted the fate that everyone else was getting. NO! It doesn’t!

Some people in this world are leaders and some are followers. Some keep there head in a hole and some actually try to look outside the box. Some except the cards they are dealt and some look to change the hand.

That brings me to the real meaning of this thread. For all of the people who are looking outside the box. For all of the people who want to get answers. Maybe you can do what I did. I’m not trying to put this in the face of people who have waited longer than I did. It’s really not about that at all. It’s about helping someone new avoid the same fate that others have had. You know somewhere on this site theirs a thread about “James Shortcuts” I believe its in the NVC forum. But I wonder if he was called impatient at first or if he caught the same flack for being pro active in his journey. But now, his shortcuts are used by many to get the results they’re looking for.

All I’m doing is posting my story so that it can help someone else. If your looking to find some answers, maybe you can try what I did. Some people have already PM me for the letter I sent. Some are now looking for answers and want to do the same thing. Should you sit with your thumb in you’re a*s, I say no! that’s my vote.

Will this work for everyone?? Most likely not!! But at least you are trying.

I would wait until you have a window of reason to bring your case to the attention of the USCIS. I wouldn’t go knocking down the door with no reason. But they do say within 60 days for a decision, and they do make mistakes. Oh! And yes! Some files do get misplaced. Just imaging if your file was misplaced, or a request for a name check was misplaced, or your RFE wasn’t put with your file, you would be waiting forever if you never did anything!!! At least faxing an expedite request makes someone look at your file. They do put “compelling interest of USCIS” as a reason for an expedite request. I believe that leaves the door wide open.

Good luck to everyone!! And I truly hope this helps someone!!

Well said, but you just couldn't let a sleeping dog lie. Your "kiss my bumper, kiss it!" was meant as a snide, heartless stab at those you addressed it to. It wasn't sense of humor on your part, it was a deliberate poke at them. By your own words you feel you're a winner and they're losers, that you're a leader and they are followers. Gee, I would rather jump off a cliff than follow your lead. And by reading your latest post I can see why you had to have someone else write your letter for you because you can't spell and your grammer is 5th grade at best. Okay.. I'm done. No matter what anyone else says on VJ in your defense or against you, the remainder of my comments about you and your kind will be kept to myself. People like you tend to tick me off big time... thus my rebuttals.

[ceriserose 1]

That's what get's me... Folks who congratulate you with one hand but plot to scold you with the other. How can folks truly embrace whatever sincerity rest within a statement if the backspin is negative? Just my opinion... Andy has been around here for awhile and I have never seen him write negative remarks. I'm sure that he was joking with the other members...

I'm inclined to agree, Uling. Andy has a particular sense of humor. I think he's just exercising it. Everyone's sense of humor is different. Seems like there are some here for whom interaction with Andy is just apples and oranges. That's o.k. Happens to all of us. I say, "If they don't get him, they don't get him."

I guess what makes me truly sad, though, is all the tension and acrimony that gets perpetuated on this site in the name of trying to police how others should feel, behave, think, act--and how many people end up feeling defensive, frustrated, and upset, subsequently feeding the cycle...Sigh...

It seems to me that if you don't like what someone is doing, the first thing to do is to extend yourself in trying to clear up misunderstandings and differences. If that doesn't work, it seems to me the best course of action is to just leave things alone...let people be where they are. They may get what you're saying down the road. Or conversely, you may start to get what THEY'RE saying. Time and patience are a good policy.

Break the cycle. It's just advice that no one has to follow, but if you don't like what someone is saying or doing--and continuing to bat away at the person and/or argument isn't working--try politely disengaging. We're all going through difficult processes. We all get testy with each other from time to time. But why make our lives more unpleasant with unnecessary rancor? Reaction only fuels reaction..

While this is all very good general message board advice, and while I'm glad it worked out for Andy in the end, he also had the option of behaving as the bolded sentence above and didn't either.

I think most of us are able to understand the difference between a sense of humor incompatible with ours and calling out people by name and thumbing their nose at advice that didn't fit the circumstance. There are plenty of people on this forum willing to say "I was wrong, glad it worked out for you." but only when they're treated with respect. I didn't see that in this post.

My 2 cents, FWIW.

[Kirsten L 0]

Those who are bashing Andy.... you DO realize, I hope, that you are just as bad for bitching him out publicly......

Only responding in kind, my friend.

I AM surprised by Andy's result. My initial thought (after the insult was hurled) was 'well looks like USCIS is having a customer service refresher course - this is one for the books and maybe we should all see if this is a service improvement'. I would also normally say 'well looks like I was wrong on this one'.

But I WON'T stand here and be talked trash to by a little smart a$$ who's gratitude for the amount of time I spent in a PM to him the other night is this kind of immature public rant.

Rebeccajo...

You know I like you, just like I like Andy. I'm not taking sides here. But I think that what you wrote above demonstrates exactly the cycle within which you and others here tend to get trapped. The point I tried to make earlier and that PlatyPius appeared to echo is that responding "in kind," as you perceive it, makes things worse, not better. If you don't like what's happening, why not go directly to Andy in a PM and say, "Hey, maybe you don't mean to be hurtful, I don't know, but I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable with what you just did in a public forum. Can we talk about this please?" If that doesn't work, step away. You're a strong, intelligent, mature woman, but when you choose to repay what you see as evil (even if I think that may not be the case) with evil, you just perpetuate...you guessed it, evil. Why not break the cycle? I can't believe that you really enjoy the unpleasant drama that is being propagated through the current strategy...do you...?

We all have choices regarding our behavior. Andy made a choice to try to be funny in a way that wasn't well received. He's since noted his understanding of the negative backlash of that choice, despite the fact that his intentions were other. See his recent post to this thread. But you have a choice, too, Rebeccajo (et al)...Are you currently making a good one...? Jesus talks about turning the other cheek. He didn't say, "Lay down and take whatever anyone dishes out," but he did want to communicate that sometimes slapping back is only a detrimental escalation of the problem. Again, I'm not a pacifist. Don't get me wrong. I don't believe in letting people just walk on you. But I think there's a time, place, and way to get positive results and lots of other ways that don't work very well at all. I think if you're upset, you do have every right to go to the source. But how about communicating thoughts and feelings with that person in a calm, rational way that has the potential to actually lead to a resolution..?

Let me give you an example. Recently there was someone here on VJ who I couldn't seem to make things work with. I tried a number of times. Nothing seemed to change. I was a bit testy at first when my buttons got pushed. Then I tried to understand and build a bridge. Initially, that didn't seem to be working either. Ultimately, I decided just to step away and pray about it. That person is now my friend, someone I truly like! If I'd just kept bashing back every time this person said something that stung, they would have kept bashing back, too. Where would we be now? Infamous as VJ's "Duke It Out Dolls" probably...and neither one of us maintaining any kind of credibility as sane, rational human beings. LOL! YUCK! Instead, I just backed off. It worked out. I'm just asking you to consider that ####### for tat can only lead to more misunderstanding, hurt, and disaster...Not just between you and the person with whom you have a problem, but to your reputations here, and to the supportive atmosphere of this forum. Please...think about it...

Edited October 7, 2006 by Kirsten L

[Jenn! 918]

But lets be honest “Kiss my bumper!!” I think if I was trying to be rude or offensive I could have chosen some harsher words.

That was my take on it.

Andy, in the future, just so you know, some people can't pick up on sarcasm unless you put a .

I thought his post was funny.

[no name 1]

Since I helped Andy with his letter, let me first explain that he was not at all out of line in sending the expedition request. Nor did he lie as someone, perhaps jokingly, implied. He simply held USCIS to their own published standards. To clarify: He received an RFE that he should not have received in the first place; he nonetheless complied with the RFE; after doing so, he heard nothing within the promised sixty days. He thus engaged congressional support and made the request for expedition invoking his rights under USCIS's own proceedural guidelines. He was honest, calm, concise, and straightforward in his communication with the involved parties. It worked. I applaud him.

Wow, I applaud Kirsten. You fed into Andy's psychosis that the govt is indeed wronging him on a daily basis for making him wait for his NOA2.

To the rest of you - Have you not read any of Andy's HUNDRED OR SO posts about bombarding all of his congresspeople about his petition? Or his daily posting in the K1 forum about his lack of an NOA2? HIs constant impatience & gloating of his above average intelligence?

Rebeccajo & Kitkat have helped HUNDREDS of people on here. Anyone siding with Andy has not seen his history. I have no desire to continue feeding into Andy's ego so I will leave this thread & for the first time on Vj use the ignore button.

We can clearly see in this post that intelligence is not in play with the OP. My god -neener, neener. Really? Are you actually an adult? GROW UP.

And this:

I wanted to put an end to the misconception of my mind set. I continually get scrutinized for the way I handle my petition and I think it's a misunderstanding. I took the time to write this in reply to a PM I received from a person who took the time to write something just as long about the process.

I want everyone to understand that there is a difference between being patient and being passive.

I think everyone underestimates my intelligence. I truly do understand that you get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. I know how to get results from people without holding a shotgun to there head. I'm not saying that I can get results from USCIS or DOS or whoever else. I'm not saying I can force my way through the Bureaucracy. All I'm saying is, there's nothing wrong with making an inquiry. The USCIS gave me a window to do what I did. They may say 6 months on there website for processing but on there phone line they say to contact them if a decision has not been made within 60 days of RFE receipt. I simply used that as my reason of contacting the authorities that I have. If they don't want us contacting them after 60 days have past, then they need to change the message.

I called the USCIS and in the nicest way possible explained what the phone line says about the 60 days. The customer service rep agreed and suggested that since I was outside normal processing times, that I request an expedited service. Trust me that I included in my expedite, that I was inquiring under the advice of USCIS.

When I contacted my Senators I told them that it was probably too early to be calling but I was worried. I was worried because I felt outside of what was the majority of cases being approved in a certain timeframe. I again explained that a false IMBRA RFE was sent to me when I used the new forms in the first place and that I was now outside the 60 day RFE processing time requested by USCIS. I mentioned the amount of VJ members that were approved ahead of me and thought that I was stuck or lost. My caseworkers for my Senators are both very, very nice and more than willing to make an inquire.

There is nothing wrong with inquiring about your case. If there was, than the recourses of a customer service line and congressional inquires wouldn't be there. It's actually up to the Senators discretion in determining whether or not an inquire is made. The USCIS is not going to hold the petitioner responsible for that. I hardly think were dealing with a communist party. Although others might disagree (Hornet)

If you know how to ask people for things than you know how to get the answers or response you want. I personally know how to put my hand next to a fire without getting burnt.

I don't know how I come across on VJ; I think everyone really gets the wrong idea. It's not like I'm banging the door down at USCIS and demanding that I be approved or that she get the visa. I simply follow the rules. That's why I waited until 60 days were up. But if things are outside the norm, than there's nothing wrong with nicely requesting to know what's going on. That's what I did and that's what I'll do. Take what they give you.

Good luck to everyone!!! And I hope you all get the results your looking for.

Edited October 7, 2006 by devilette