Cooking and difference in tastes

[Deina 8]

This is a great post

I had the same problem when I first came in US!! Oh my, it was so hard for me to accustom to the new food.

I do the cooking and my husband likes it but he also doesn't like his food to spicy. So when I cook I use less spice in the pot and in my plate I put as much spices as I want

Sometimes I do cook separate dishes and I think it is okay, we should not force each other taste if we don't find it delicious

[Amy and Nick 37]

I find this interesting since the UK and US are similar in types of foods...

I definitely agreed with your statement for a while, but more and more I realised how different they are!

I guess it really depends where in the US we're talking too. My hubby's lived in New Mexico for so long, that if he doesnt eat it once a day he moans! I on the other hand cannot deal with any spice!

The biggest thing I notice with UK>USA food is that in the UK, food is cooked more plainly, and you add sauces and seasoning when its cooked. In the the US its all added during cooking, so if you dont like it - lump it!

[Dana-Mića 51]

I completely understand you when it comes to food. My husband will eat things I cook but when it comes to eating out that he will not do. I am scared that when he comes here I will only eat our with friends or alone when i order in because he won't try anything. Im in love with Mexican, Chinese, Israeli, Egyptian, Moroccan, and all other good tasting food and with all my will I will make him try everything even if I have to make him think I prepared it. If he doesn't like it I will work something else out.

[Amy and Nick 37]

Here is our advise for you: If you see food as a big problem, don't get married.

By the way, ive never heard anything so ridiculous!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello VJ community!

Here I am, back again, with a post that speaks of the challenge of adjusting to living a life together.

My Dominican fiance entered the US a little over a month ago. We are planning to marry next month (May 16, 2011!). Yet, there is a problem. Our tastes in food are SO VERY DIFFERENT!

I am a native of Mexico and, as such, some SPICE is natural, indeed, expected in cooking. Having said this, I have often said that "I am a shame of a Mexican" because compared to most other Mexicans I eat VERY little spice. So, I add a little spice to my food as I am cooking. I like to make a fish soup with some ground chili pepper garlic oil (actually a Thai product) and my fiance can hardly stand it. He likes the flavor of my soup, but really dislikes its hotness. One time, trying to be nicer, I used a really small amount of this ground chili pepper. To me, the soup was quite tasteless because I missed the hotness. For him, it was still too spicy...

Another problem with our cooking is the very different ways in which we make rice. As a Dominican, my fiance LOVES his rice and expects to eat it daily. In his own words, "Si no como arroz, siento que no he comido!" (If I don't eat rice, I feel as though I have not eaten!). However, I like to make my rice by using chopped garlic and onion, sauteeing it a bit first with olive oil before adding the rice... At a minimum. Sometimes, I also like to use a tomato base broth to cook my rice so that I have the tomato flavor in the rice. My fiance, on the other hand, makes a rice that is very pretty; fluffy and whole, yet tasteless! He does not add anything but oil and salt! No garlic! Onion! Tomato paste! Nothing!

I wonder if other couples have had problems adjusting to each other's cooking and tastes. I am looking for advice on this issue. Yes, I have cooked two different fish soup pots (one for him, one for me), but cooking two different things for just two people is also more difficult and time consuming...

Thank you for your advice and I look forward to a delicious discussion!

We eat mostly what Alla cooks which is tasty but not spicy Russian/Ukrainian meat/vegetable dishes. I am from Texas originally and love my spicy Tex-Mex food which Alla and the boys do not like. I make some for myself and if they want some they can have it. If not...more for me.

Alla does most of the cooking and I do not complain. Not a problem.

By the way, ive never heard anything so ridiculous!

Not really. Food is not a big problem, or should not be. Just make what you like if it is different than what the other makes. Where is the problem?

[S_AL_ 1]

It is good to know we aren't the only couple going through this I too like spicy food while my husband who can occasionally enjoy some spicy food prefers lightly spiced dishes. I have over time learnt to cook two different dishes for one dinner because honestly, I want to enjoy my food which is why I do not mind taking out extra time to cook. His preference is American food but I like Pakistani dishes so when I'm using spices, I keep him in mind and sometimes take some ingredients out and add them to a separate pot which is for myself. On other occasions, I wait to cook my own dishes when he is not around so I could just eat what I like. It takes a lot of effort to adjust your taste-buds to the food you didn't eat all your life. I say, stick to your food...let him enjoy his dishes and you enjoy yours.

[Amy and Nick 37]

Not really. Food is not a big problem, or should not be. Just make what you like if it is different than what the other makes. Where is the problem?

Read what I wrote again - we're agreeing...

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Thank you everyone for your great posts!

It is good to know that other couples have also had to adjust in terms of tastes and cooking. I do have to say that we have both tried to accomodate each other's tastes a bit. I mean, my fiance WILL eat my spicy fish soup and I will eat his plain white rice... We, of course, also have the choice of cooking for ourselves whatever we wish. It has also been different in terms of meat consumption. Before, I would not eat meat on a daily basis because many of my dishes would only require veggies or rice and beans. However, my fiance really loves to eat meat. He also likes to eat meat with bones whereas I do not like to eat meat off the bone. It is definitely an adjustment...

I do have to say that my fiance has been pretty open to try new things; he has eaten Indian food and enjoys eating at the American-Chinese buffet. He has also eaten tacos at the Mexican restaurant and even puts some salsa in his tacos now Yet, he still refuses to try the sushi...

[sachinky 464]

Chinese buffets, ftw!

[TBoneTX 43,196]

TB! Mr. Sachinky will only eat 'cookies and cream.' I prefer chocolate. Only. We too, buy two cartons of ice-cream at the grocery store. It's just easier that way.

Just done tonight over here, si man.

Interesting that you mention Chinese food. At buffet restaurants (our favorite is called The Happy Pancreas, or some such), she takes FAR different stuff than do I, si man.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

I definitely agreed with your statement for a while, but more and more I realised how different they are!

I guess it really depends where in the US we're talking too. My hubby's lived in New Mexico for so long, that if he doesnt eat it once a day he moans! I on the other hand cannot deal with any spice!

The biggest thing I notice with UK>USA food is that in the UK, food is cooked more plainly, and you add sauces and seasoning when its cooked. In the the US its all added during cooking, so if you dont like it - lump it!

You are right! UK food is definitely more 'plain'. I ordered porridge here recently and it came with all sorts of toppings and flavours...I just wanted plain porridge and the waitress was kind of shocked.

After this discussion I got my husband to take me to a Scottish pub in Vermont last night and we drove 300miles round trip for a Steak pie and Haggis, neeps and tatties! It was worth it

I am in Vermont and the food is quite similar to UK food...but yes, when we were in Alaska things were quite different But i love trying new foods so I can't see it ever being a problem.

I would like to find a decent cup of tea here though.....

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I would like to find a decent cup of tea here though.....

I think this must be a common complaint from people from the UK...

[sachinky 464]

I just want to find a decent piece of tandoori chicken. I mean, really.

[Tyeger87 10]

the key is taking turns and sharing cooking responsibilities. my SO and I lived together in Cairo and we have VERY different tastes in food, he eats very little vegetables (that are not in a sauce), only one type of salad, meat, potatoes, rice, and fish, hamburgers, and chicken. Thats the extent of his diet. So we took turns, I love his food and we both like spicy food, so we would make his preferences and then every week I would introduce a new dish that I was used to eating, to broaden his horizons and he ate it and enjoyed it. I would also use things he liked to introduce new meals, for example, im southern so i thought about making chicken and gravy, I really wanted chicken and and dumplings but I changed the recipe and made chicken and gravy and put it over rice (his favorite). Also sometimes, if I got particularly frustrated with food (he can eat the same thing everyday) we would either cook separately or I would go out to lunch with my friends to get my Americana fix, steak fix, or sushi fix. As for spicyness - we lived with roommates and our roommates HATED spicy food, when we cook a meal for everyone we would either cook two pots of food (one spicy and one non) or we would cook non spicy food and we would use a Comorian hot pepper sauce called putu to add to our food on our plate so everyone is happy.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Personally I'm unable to eat chilli. I tell people I'm allergic otherwise they think it's okay to put a little bit in.. if I eat it I get REALLY sick. I won't die but even Sweet Chilli sauce is too spicy for me (pathetic really I know).

Anyway why don't you cook your fish soup like normal but add the chilli last? Not knowing your process I would just pull out his serving before adding the chilli to finish out the cooking. Same with any other spicy dish that you make, add the chilli after you've taken out his portion. In my case my mum would make meals like normal then add sweet chilli sauce for dad later (he LOVES sweet chilli sauce). In my BIL's case he would add chilli flakes to his 'cause my sister doesn't like anything half as spicy as he does.

For the rice part I would buy a rice cooker so that he can make his own rice or so you can just set and forget it while you finish out what you want.

Almost everything has some sort of solution (sometimes requires more compromise on one side than the other) and maybe eventually he'll come to like things cooked the way you like it, and get more used to chilli. I personally prefer fluffy white "flavourless" rice myself with meals that are usually topped with something really full of flavour, ooo or saffron rice with butter chicken.. yum!