Useless NOA2

[missicy 87]

Al explained the whole "promise" issue. This is not the first time a woman did this to him. The woman who just now hurt him is the second. This current woman knows the story of the other woman. When Al proposed this time, he was worried because of what the other woman had done. And this one made the point of letting him know that she would never change her mind, she would never accept his proposal and back out. She was the one who promised that she was his for ever. She made the promise. He didn't bring it up.

I know the promise sounds weird; but when you know the whole story it makes what happened to Al seem worse. She knew what he had been through; she made him feel that it would never happen again; and then she ripped his heart out anyways.

Sounds like insecurity to me. That's a whole different issue.

Accepting a marriage proposal is not a bussines contract. Every person has the right to end a relationship if they are not happy, regardless of the other person's past relationships. There are no guarantees in life, especially not in relationships.

I just feel bad that we are getting half of the story by only hearing one point of view and the other side is not able to defend herself. That's why I'm trying to keep it in perspective for everyone here... by reminding everyone that there are two sides to every story, that everyone makes mistakes, and that no one is perfect.

Exactly!

[AandD 20]

Al,

Our thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.

We VJ members pride ourselves on being supportive and we hope you dont worry too much about the peasants trying to sharpen their knives at your expense

[kennym 275]

I believe strongly in international relationships.. I don't beleive they offer gaurantees in cases where one or the other partner has extreme views. I don't beleive people there are many diferences between men or women seeking relationships abroad and those seeking relationships in their hometown, there are just many good people and just as many bad people in either scenerio... Whats unfortunate is that when relationships go wrong, is they blame the system rather than look at themself..

GOing into a Long Distance Relationship comes with certain understanding between two people.. LDR has it's share of challenges due to the time apart. People in a LDR need to understand that going in and work together to help each other to deal with those challenges.. Asside from those things, the dynamics are the same.. If your extreme in any particular ideas, eventually any and every relationship will suffer and likely end and manytimes, end badly...

Al, I would seriously search inside and understand if your anger is really about problems with Elena, or is it because you're hurt and feel you want to blame someone.. Have you really sat and given yourself time to reflect on other possible causes of this ending.. You can't beleive simply because her last relationship failed, that she's a scammer.. Maybe she realized something about that past relationship that frightened her..

The fact is, there is just as much possibility that the cause of this relationship failing is due to more than you're sharing.. It does nobody any good, (I mean it does YOU no good) if you're not honest with yourself.. If your personality changed during the time you spent waiting for the NOA2, and it became such that Elena lost interest, then those things will also your future relationship if you're not honest with yourself..

Just some thoughts...

Kenny

[zh & m 3]

OMG!

Al, I am so sorry.

I wish you much much happiness. You presence at this forum really helped me in my hard NOA2-waiting days. God bless you!

[Tanoushka 7]

While I'm sorry for what you're going through Al, I personally don't believe it's right or a good idea to air out all the dirty laundry of a relationship to strangers on the internet once it's over. It's not going to make you feel better. It's not going to fix anything. It's simply going to get responses that you don't want to hear/read. If my fiance did to me what yours did to you, I'd cut them out of my life, thank my lucky stars that I dodged THAT bullet before I moved my entire life for him, and wash my hands of the whole thing. I'd be upset and betrayed, but the internet is not where I'd turn to for comfort. Nor would I feel the need to plead my case to a bunch of strangers about how I was the good guy. It's just not important.

I completely agree with Coconuts

[mishab 1]

i am going through exactly same thing and i blame the wait for NOA2 for the relationship bumps. While some will say love has no boundaries, I feel love is the most difficult lifelong task to manage. Not to mention that in our cases we are separated instead of experiencing the best time of our lives. Should I view this as a government sponsored test of my love? Or simply a test for my fiancee's good intentions? Everyone say to stay calm and patient, but why should I? Why should I apologize for this useless and timely process day after day.

Now to the poor guy with the broken heart. If you still love your fiancee then book a flight and fly to Russia. Go and try to win her back, marry her in russia and then try to move back to the usa together. it will be tough at first, but then you might like it.

In the event she says no, your chances of finding a new love of your life are very high, because finding a girl in russia is much easier than getting a cab.

good luck.

[LoveMyMiky 35]

i am going through exactly same thing and i blame the wait for NOA2 for the relationship bumps. While some will say love has no boundaries, I feel love is the most difficult lifelong task to manage. Not to mention that in our cases we are separated instead of experiencing the best time of our lives. Should I view this as a government sponsored test of my love? Or simply a test for my fiancee's good intentions? Everyone say to stay calm and patient, but why should I? Why should I apologize for this useless and timely process day after day.

Now to the poor guy with the broken heart. If you still love your fiancee then book a flight and fly to Russia. Go and try to win her back, marry her in russia and then try to move back to the usa together. it will be tough at first, but then you might like it.

In the event she says no, your chances of finding a new love of your life are very high, because finding a girl in russia is much easier than getting a cab.

good luck.

What a ridiculous misguided post from apparently someone who thinks he’s a Russian Love expert who by all indications doesn’t have a clue about Russian woman, their real intentions or culture from which they come. Russian women as a whole are far from stupid in identifying a winner or loser who trolls under the masquerade of love and a promise to marry with a ticket to the US.

[thelastpetitioner 218]

i am going through exactly same thing and i blame the wait for NOA2 for the relationship bumps.

blame no one but your own poor choices.every single person who is adjusting status from k-1 has gone through the wait and obviously they have all survived.

i honestly can see what part is Al's fault .he refuses to take responsibility,he talked so much smack in such rage that the poor woman got scared.is the country really that bad?is this guy always this angry about everything?

if she isnt a scam-er and has some common sense she saw those issues.did Al deserve this?no,no one deserves to have their hearts broken,but he needs to learn his lesson.his " one " might not necessarily be a russian woman like he " dreamed ".i think its stupid to go after one particular race,just because you find them exotic.

Edited April 16, 2011 by thelastpetitioner

[Tanoushka 7]

blame no one but your own poor choices.every single person who is adjusting status from k-1 has gone through the wait and obviously they have all survived.

i honestly can see what part is Al's fault .he refuses to take responsibility,he talked so much smack in such rage that the poor woman got scared.is the country really that bad?is this guy always this angry about everything?

if she isnt a scam-er and has some common sense she saw those issues.did Al deserve this?no,no one deserves to have their hearts broken,but he needs to learn his lesson.his " one " might not necessarily be a russian woman like he " dreamed ".i think its stupid to go after one particular race,just because you find them exotic.

I agree with that.

I'm sorry he feels the pain right now.

The anger coming from him baffled me.

The way he even talks about the ex is scary. It's always somebody else's fault. There is always someone else to blame.

And frankly, the "Russian Wife dream"??? Really?

[LoriT 16]

When you are hurt, you vent. Some things you mean, others you don't. You want to lash out at the one who hurt you. Al's posts are venting. I'm sure you or anyone else would do the same if your heart was broken. He had the dream of a Russian wife, so what. We all have our dreams and ideals. His didn't work this time. It doesn't mean it won't in the future. If he has a love for Russian woman and the Russian culture, let him be. My fiance is English. And his accent curls my toes every single time I hear it. Would I love him if he wasn't English? Of course. Did I chose to fall in love with someone 4,000 miles away and thousands of dollars to be with me? No. It is what it is. Just let him vent.

[Neonred 3,454]

I agree with that.

I'm sorry he feels the pain right now.

The anger coming from him baffled me.

The way he even talks about the ex is scary. It's always somebody else's fault. There is always someone else to blame.

And frankly, the "Russian Wife dream"??? Really?

LOL

I'm living that dream!

[missicy 87]

When you are hurt, you vent. Some things you mean, others you don't. You want to lash out at the one who hurt you. Al's posts are venting. I'm sure you or anyone else would do the same if your heart was broken.

There is a difference between venting and accusing somebody of fraud and posting their picture and name on a public forum (and the other side is not able to defend themselves). Just sayin.

I sure as hell wouldn't do the same. I would vent to my friends in private, yes, but I would never ever air out my dirty laundry to strangers. Al needs to grow up, man up and move on.

[dogspot 90]

I'm living that dream!

A gorgeous dream

[LoriT 16]

Every single morning you wake up in your loves arms For you, it is over. Try to remember back to what it was like waiting. then try and imagine your dreams being shattered. It takes two people to create a relationship but only one to absolutely destroy it!

[graceroxas 17]

i am going through exactly same thing and i blame the wait for NOA2 for the relationship bumps. While some will say love has no boundaries, I feel love is the most difficult lifelong task to manage. Not to mention that in our cases we are separated instead of experiencing the best time of our lives. Should I view this as a government sponsored test of my love? Or simply a test for my fiancee's good intentions? Everyone say to stay calm and patient, but why should I? Why should I apologize for this useless and timely process day after day.

Looking at your timeline and the fact that you're at CSC, I guess I'll be half-panicky by this time too.

Got a little chuckle from the phrase "government-sponsored test of my love." Makes USCIS sound like God in the book of Job whom we should thank for visiting plague upon us. (I guess those who got expedited for no reason at all are actually not the chosen children then.)

Grace