divorce ...and advice pls

[dani ela 0]

I am American, and was working in Doha when i met this charming Lebanese guy. We lived together for one year and he kept insisting we get married. I did love him and I was also worried that I may get kicked out of Qatar cz there it's not exactely ok to co-habitate if not married. So, we flew to Beirut and got married, and his family was all over me.

We married Sept. 2008, and we decided we'll stay in Qatar several years at least.

After a few months he decided he wants to go to USA and keep bugging me so I went and petitioned at US Embassy in April 2009. After a month or so they called him and he screwed up the initial interview. I was worried and he was worried too cz he realized that. The Embassy was dragging their feet.

In August 2009 he went on a trip to Austria and when he came back I took his phone and he was in contact with some Austrian women including a Suzy that was saying that she will wait for him forever. Of course I blew up.

Meanwhile in September i had gone to Embassy and was told the petition was approved. The officer took our file and gave me a list of what to do next. Then I asked a question he was not sure about the answer and says he will go check.He tossed the file on the desk/ there was a glass partition/ and this paper sticks out just a bit and i read something like "pls proceed with fraud investigation. I went home and never told my husband cz i was worried that he will be even more nervous later in the interview.

After I found the phone messeges I knew he was looking for back-up in case the americans dont let him in, and now we fight all the time.After a couple of months I told him to leave and he went back to Beirut, opened a bussines ( from my money, another story )that totaly failed.

January 2010, i was in Beirut for bussiness, and ask him again for divorce, he says fine cz anyway he will marry this girl, she's 19, and he will go to Austria and start another bussiness cz he knows the americans will never give him visa.

We divorced end of Feb. and the paper was stamped by Lebanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs April 12 2009.

May 1st 2010 he came back to Qatar and testing the waters to see if i will take him back. I told him to #### of. He stayed for one month ( not with me ) and went to Austria.

I was happy he left, and moved on.

One month ago, Dec. 2010 i moved back to USA. Never heard anything about him and didnt want to. One week ago i was chating with one of my girlfriends on Facebook, and we looked up an old common friend and she says "oh, look we found your ex"...and for sure there he is with his Suzy and friends with her and all her family in a small village of 4000 ppl.and married just like he said.

So I wrote him an email asking him how he was doing, i hope he;s ok...and soon he writes me back, and within 30 min. of back and forth emails he tells me that he married this girl for papers only and nothing more, he misses me and the best things were with me, especially sex, some sexual stuff, and that he didnt get what he wanted cz he wants me...

So after a couple of days of being pissed i copied and sent that email to his wife and all her family members on facebook, and to his best friend and to his brother...

Well, not to tell you that all hell broke loose the next morning when they all woke up.

IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN CHEATED, TAKEN ADVANTAGE OFF AND NEARLY DIED OF BROKEN HEART AND NO FOOD FOR WEEKS, AND YOU USED TO BE ONE OF THE NICEST PERSON AROUND....HEY YOU MAY TRY THIS JUST FOR KICKS...ALL OUR FRIENDS ARE STILL ROLLING LAUGHING

i also told them that i contacted the Immigration in Austria and they are aware that we had a file with INS through American Embassy in Doha which was being investigated for marriage fraud.

The thing is I didnt contact anybody just scared the ###### out of them, and i think that petition expired after 1 year ( started April 2009 ) so I would like to know what you think about this because I will contact them anyway just want to do it the right way so they will actualy investigate....tx

[taniaqueen 0]

I know how you feel but as time goes by you just will not care. Why drag up more drama in your life just to spite an ex. Be happy knowing you made the right choice in getting a divorce.

[dani ela 0]

THANX, BUT THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION....I ASKED ABOUT THE PETITION AND HOW TO USE IT THE BEST WAY POSIBLE SINCE I WILL DO IT ANYWAY

[trillium13 84]

Wouldn't you feel better if you just moved on with your own life, and left him completely out of it?

[dani ela 0]

NO...I WILL SEND HIS #### BACK TO LEBANON FOR SURE...HE WILL STAY IN AUSTRIA OVER MY DEAD BODY

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

THANX, BUT THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION....I ASKED ABOUT THE PETITION AND HOW TO USE IT THE BEST WAY POSIBLE SINCE I WILL DO IT ANYWAY

Caps lock off, please.

Which petition are you talking about? You said your petition expired, right? Ok, so that's the end of it. Unless you file another petition then the US government is no longer concerned about him. It wouldn't hurt to send your evidence to the consulate in Lebanon, though. It might prevent him from repeating this with another American girl.

What he did was wrong, and he should be caught. Send your evidence to the immigration authorities in Austria.

I think what the other VJ members were getting at was to get over your urge for revenge. It will eat you up. Justice, yes. Revenge, no. It's not healthy. Turn him in because it's the right thing to do, and not because you have a vendetta to settle.

[dani ela 0]

well, that is exactly the kind of answer i was looking for...our I-130 was approved but under investigation for fraud...i just want the austrians to know that he was being under investigation for fraud in another country, than they can decide...thanx for the caps off

i didnt keep any papers, do you think i can get duplicates from embassy or uscis...or if i tell austrian immigration it will raise a red flag anyway

[dani ela 0]

well, i just wanted to send austrian immigration a short email that states that he was under immigration fraud investigation with INS originating at Doha american embassy....it will raise a red flag and if they care they will investigate

[VanessaTony 3,567]

well, i just wanted to send austrian immigration a short email that states that he was under immigration fraud investigation with INS originating at Doha american embassy....it will raise a red flag and if they care they will investigate

What Jim said is correct so trust him.

Though you didn't ask (and please ignore if you want to).. don't you think it's his wife's choice if he stays in her country or not? You've told her about the fraud, she's seen it in his own writing so you've done your bit to advise her but it's not really your right to chase him around the world to make sure no-one lets him leave his home country. He's a dirt bag yes but you took yourself out of his issue. Let USCIS know about the marriage fraud and him and his passport will be flagged for any other Americans.

I understand the need to punish him and I think the FB thing definitely punished him. You just simply can't follow him around the world trying to stop him from leaving his home country... for your own sanity. You need to step back. You need to block him from your FB so that you can't see him or access his profile. You need to speak to a counsellor or someone to help you get over the bitterness or it will seep into your life and he is not worth that.

[Fandango 1,439]

You knew when he left that he was planning on going to marry this girl for papers, then you contact him on FB and tell him that you hope he's ok? Then you fwd everyone on her list a copy of your mails? It sounds very messed up to me....be thankful you're not saddled with this headache, and move on with your life. Nothing else to do.

[Utha 10]

Sorry, I can't answer your question. I just wanna say that nobody will understand your hurt until they experience it for themselves. You hurted by him before, normal if you wanna hurt him back but remember everything happened for a good reason. I think what you wanna do about giving alert to Austrian govt. is good, to save another girls in future from his behaviour. Anyway, take it as a good lesson. Be more aware about man. Keep strong!!!

Edited January 28, 2011 by Utha

[sera77 35]

I just wanted to say ... Good for you!

you didn't just take the damage and roll over and be passive when a guy steamrolled you with lies and deceit.

I applaud the fact that you gave back a LITTLE of the hurt he did to you, and you opened that other woman's eyes to his behaviour as well.

Cheaters keep cheating if forgiven.

S.

[TBoneTX 42,991]

"Hell hath no fury like a..."

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

well, that is exactly the kind of answer i was looking for...our I-130 was approved but under investigation for fraud...i just want the austrians to know that he was being under investigation for fraud in another country, than they can decide...thanx for the caps off

i didnt keep any papers, do you think i can get duplicates from embassy or uscis...or if i tell austrian immigration it will raise a red flag anyway

How horrible for the girl? Is she staying with him? If she is and you make problems for him , you hurt her. What a mess? I am not shocked though. I am glad you got rid of him before he destroyed more of your life.. TYPICAL.

[mystic 11]

if you dont have any of the petition papers you had i do not think you can get copies, but be sure i would surely email that consulate he is trying to get to stay through, inform them of who you are, if you have any of your case numbers send them as well, and also send them emails or texts of him saying that he married this girl just for papers any evidence you have at all of his words to you... you are not hurting her, you are protecting her