Wanting to divorce my spouse.

[princess_rosaria 0]

I have a major dilemma my husband came over on a K3 visa and he has not filed adjustment of status yet because I found out he was evil when he arrived. He basically used me for getting over here and now I want out of the relationship. He got here 4 months ago and we have a set of twins together and we have been married for four years. I am a Mexican born US citizen and I have been a citizen for 5 years now. I brought him over after I got my citizenship. I want to know what I can do to get him sent back to his country. He is from Turkey. He is threatening to take the twins with him to turkey if I do not get him his green car status but I do not want to be married to him any longer as he is mentally abusive and he is unstable. What are my options. Please reply as I am in very desperate need because my daughters are only 2 years old. My husband is wanting them to move to Turkey with him but I want them to be with me because my family is all in Mexico and Turkey is too far for them to travel to see them. What are his rights and mine? What should I do? What would you do?

[Darnell 8,478]

you've got 2 major issues to deal with -

--divorce

--immigration

The divorce part is straight forward. File for divorce, this week, include protection order with the divorce decree, then wait it out until the divorce is finalized. There will be issues about joint custody vs sole custody of the children, but not on first filing; this will be covered at a later hearing. If he's out of country by the later hearing, then IMO, so much the better (even if he has legal representation at the hearing).

The immigration part - once the protective order is in place, call up USCIS, ICE office for your city / area, and let them know that you are divorcing the K-3 visa holder, a protective order is in place on him. He is 'in country' because of the K-3 visa, but that K-3 visa exists solely because of marriage. If the marriage is dissolved with no Adjustment of Status, then (by USCIS' edict ) he has no rights to remain in the USA. That ICE OFFICE may or may not schedule an appointment with you, to review , face to face, but do be prepared to send off a stack of paperwork to them (letters of attestation, divorce filing docs, protective order, etc etc - I'm not talking about any numbered forms here).

IMO, they won't be out looking to deport him, but with a protective order in place, and divorce filed, his reasons for remaining become almost nil (except for the children, and his parental rights for the children)

If you have other evidence of clear visa fraud (fradulent marriage to obtain immigrant status) then this will carry MORE weight, in addition to the protective order and divorce filing.

In the meantime, temporarily move out of the domicile until the protective order is in place, take your children with you. Once the protective order is in place, then change the locks on yer domicile.

A word of warning, though - it MAY BE that he becomes more violent after the protective order is in place, so it might be a good idea to hire private security patrol for your domicile, for a week to 10 days. Then, if he is actually breaking into yer house - they will catch him immediately, then hand him over to the police. VIOLATION OF A PROTECTIVE ORDER, combined with BREAKING and ENTERING, carries even more weight with ICE when yer presenting all of this evidence, possibly enough to entice ICE to deport him on that 'moral turpitude' clause. IMO, it's a risk and a gamble, but you need to be clear on what you hope to accomplish.

Good Luck, however it turns out !! I wish you the best !

Edited June 16, 2010 by Darnell

[princess_rosaria 0]

Ok, do I need a protective order for the twins too? Thank you so much this was very useful.

Edited June 17, 2010 by princess_rosaria

[DeniseBill 4]

Doesn't the father need a written signed permission from the mother to even take the children out of the country? And if he does take the twins without permission you can report him for kidnapping. They'll get your children back. I remember a case of a woman in Holland who took her child from America without fathers permission. She got reported for kidnapping and had to hand over the child. Mothers have more rights when it comes to custody than fathers unless the mother has serious mental issues or (proved) drugsproblems.

Hope you'll find a way to get your life back together. Try not to to worry about his status too much. I think your biggest concern is the twins and them prolly losing their father.

Good luck ^^

[payxibka 10,044]

Doesn't the father need a written signed permission from the mother to even take the children out of the country? And if he does take the twins without permission you can report him for kidnapping. They'll get your children back. I remember a case of a woman in Holland who took her child from America without fathers permission. She got reported for kidnapping and had to hand over the child. Mothers have more rights when it comes to custody than fathers unless the mother has serious mental issues or (proved) drugsproblems.

Hope you'll find a way to get your life back together. Try not to to worry about his status too much. I think your biggest concern is the twins and them prolly losing their father.

Good luck ^^

just don't get the twins passports... without it they cannot travel.... passports applications require BOTH parents signatures on the application

[DeniseBill 4]

just don't get the twins passports... without it they cannot travel.... passports applications require BOTH parents signatures on the application

Very smart!

[Okalian 41]

I want to know what I can do to get him sent back to his country.

He may possibly make up an abuse claim on his end and file for VAWA, getting himself a greencard. It's also hard to prove he used you for the GC especially due to the fact that you have kids. In most cases, kids are the one of the primary evidences for a bonafide marriage.

Be safe..

[thongd4me 69]

I have a major dilemma my husband came over on a K3 visa and he has not filed adjustment of status yet because I found out he was evil when he arrived. He basically used me for getting over here and now I want out of the relationship. He got here 4 months ago and we have a set of twins together and we have been married for four years. I am a Mexican born US citizen and I have been a citizen for 5 years now. I brought him over after I got my citizenship. I want to know what I can do to get him sent back to his country. He is from Turkey. He is threatening to take the twins with him to turkey if I do not get him his green car status but I do not want to be married to him any longer as he is mentally abusive and he is unstable. What are my options. Please reply as I am in very desperate need because my daughters are only 2 years old. My husband is wanting them to move to Turkey with him but I want them to be with me because my family is all in Mexico and Turkey is too far for them to travel to see them. What are his rights and mine? What should I do? What would you do?

He can't get passports for the twins without your consent.

See the state department website relating to international child abduction.

I don't know if Turkey is a party to the convention against that.

International Child Abduction

My ex-wife had Japanese passports for our 2 daughters and registered them as her family in Japan.

They also had US passports which I consented to have issued.

Since she had a house given to her in the divorce and support from me while she remains here,

there was no question of her not coming back to the US. The kids don't speak Japanese worth sh!t.

You should check if he has them registered as his kids in Turkey.

You may already know that, but if not I would suggest you find out.

Best of luck

[thongd4me 69]

He can't get passports for the twins without your consent.

See the state department website relating to international child abduction.

I don't know if Turkey is a party to the convention against that.

International Child Abduction

My ex-wife had Japanese passports for our 2 daughters and registered them as her family in Japan.

They also had US passports which I consented to have issued.

Since she had a house given to her in the divorce and support from me while she remains here,

there was no question of her not coming back to the US. The kids don't speak Japanese worth sh!t.

You should check if he has them registered as his kids in Turkey.

You may already know that, but if not I would suggest you find out.

Best of luck

Turkey ratified the convention on:

31 May 2000 Ratification by Turkey (submitted by Netherlands, the depositary party)

Published in UN Treaty Series

Edited June 17, 2010 by thongd4me

[3600rs 24]

So after 4 years of marriage, having 2year old twins, you suddenly accuse of abuse, instability and sham marriage. Interestingly, all these accusations as soon as he arrives.

take pleasure in proving otherwise, indulge me.

[Nibake 4]

There was mention that your husband may become very violent when you take action against him. Be prepared for that. I think it is also possible that he may try to apologize you, schmooze you, or do any other thing to persuade you to help him if he really wants to stay in the US and knows he needs you to do say. I can't say much without knowing the circumstances, but if he does desperately try to make up, be careful. I'm not saying that you should disregard any apologies out of hand, as they may well be sincere, but there is a BIG chance that a manipulative person will try to use fake apologies to his advantage. You need a lot of discernment and help from others in any case. I hope you have good friends who can help you. If not, find some!

[princess_rosaria 0]

What do you mean by proving otherwise? I do not understand. Yes 4 years later and twins later I realize he was a liar. He did not show his true colors until he stepped foot on American soil. It was then I found out that he was flaky. People always get what they want out of people before they act up/lash out and since I did not want to give him all of what he wanted he went crazy.

I came on here seeking advice because I am in a very serious situation and I appreciate the useful comments. I am glad you told me not to get the passport for my girls because he had told me to get them a few months ago. So, I thoughht about him applying for a new one if he figured he could do that and then I opted out. I do not trust him at all and I know he is capable of pulling off any kind of sick stunt at any given moment.

With all of the things he has said to me I realize that the only option I have left is to file for the divorce and an Emergency Protection Order. He has threatened my life as of two days back. Therefore, I will hire an attorney tomorrow and go to the courthouse first thing in the morning to get this stuff taken care of soon. I am afraid he is going to hurt someone because he is mentally unstable and abusive. At the same time I am not sure he would not do other unnatural things to my children because he is not a normal father.

Edited June 18, 2010 by princess_rosaria

[princess_rosaria 0]

There was mention that your husband may become very violent when you take action against him. Be prepared for that. I think it is also possible that he may try to apologize you, schmooze you, or do any other thing to persuade you to help him if he really wants to stay in the US and knows he needs you to do say. I can't say much without knowing the circumstances, but if he does desperately try to make up, be careful. I'm not saying that you should disregard any apologies out of hand, as they may well be sincere, but there is a BIG chance that a manipulative person will try to use fake apologies to his advantage. You need a lot of discernment and help from others in any case. I hope you have good friends who can help you. If not, find some!

Yes, he has tried every trick in the book to get me to do this paperwork for him to get his greencard so I have no question or doubts about him just using me to relocate over here in the Western world. He is a complete scam artist and he gave me the children to try to make our marriage appear legitamate. He had studied the immigration laws for a bonafide marriage for years. So, I wish I knew back then what I know now. You live, you learn.....

[DanielParul 50]

Thankfully, not only are both the parents required to sign thr passport application for the kids but they are also required to be present in person to file that application. So if you are not ok with getting passports for your kids there is no way he can do it even by falsly signing the application. Thats a relief to know.

I wish you good luck. Don't give up on your life and kids.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

You got some good advice, but it's a bit scrambled. Let's see if I can do better.

First of all, without the AOS filing, your husband has no leg to stand on in regard to immigration. I assume he has no driver license? Does he have a SS number?

Second, I assume the twins were born in Turkey. Thus, they have dual citizenship by birth, meaning they are Turkish citizens and, as soon as they are on Turkish soil, join the protection of the Turkish Government. That's the general problem with dual citizenship. If your husband has Turkish passports for them, he can get them out of the country. Whether or not he will be accused of kidnapping later on and sees the inside of a Turkish jail doesn't help you if your kids are over there.

I, too, am surprised that it took you such a long time to detect the true character of your husband, but it's not my place to question that. You will need to file for divorce ASAP, at which point there's no way that you can petition for his AOS anymore. That covers #1. You then formally inform USCIS about the case.

To cover #2, you'll need a protective court order. If your husband is expressly stating that he will pull some crazy sh*t if you don't help him in regard to the Green Card, he might endanger or kidnap your children. You'll need an attorney to pull this off the right way, short and painless, yet effectively.