Pregnant at 11

[*Robert* 2]

This story scares me.

My stepson's girlfriend is 14 and I am just freakin' out that girl will get pregnant. Oh btw, he's 18 and my husband and I had tried our best to talked to him and given out examples etc etc but they're still bonking out (geesh I hate listening to them while hubby's at work & I'm home alone ) & seems like his ears are blocked. You think as a stepmother maybe I have a little right to talk with his gf's mother about this & ask if her daughter is on somekind of birth control?

Seriously, what is happening is called "Statutory Rape"!!! You should not be allowing that AT ALL, unless the legal ages are different in Alabama, which who knows!!

Somebody please help with this one, because I would hate to see her be guilty of aiding and abetting in a serious crime here!

This is wrong wrong wrong, and this is why teen pregnancies occur! Parents can not just look the other way, and just because it is a boy, it seems to be okay! *deep southern voice* “That’s my boy!!! Making himself a man!!!”

[Indo_mommy 0]

I think it is so sad. So many kids now adays what to partake in adult activities but they don't realize that if they do so they just might have to deal with adult like consequences. It is so sad and the question is why do kids not wanna be kids and why aren't parents being parents.

oh my oyen, they do it while your at home? man, my parents wouldn't hear of it, i would be kicked to the curb. Thats illegal too, ain't it, him being 18 and her 14? i don't know the laws that well here but thats what i assumed it was. And do her parents know? I would say you do have the right to go to her parents and talk about this with them. On some level of concern for the both of them.

CanGal, yes it is considered ilegal here and my husband had talked, screamed and yelled to his son telling him all the conciquenses of this actions such as: this girl (God forbid!) could go to the police if he broke up with her and said he raped her blah blah and he would get arrested but he just NEVER listen! This frustrate me and my hubby so much but we can't lock him in his room or grounded him forever. Hell, my parents would've kick me out of the house too if I do that when I was his age. I'm not sure about her parents tho' although my stepson sometimes sleep over there at their house. I've been thinking about calling her mom to meet over lunch of something and talk about this. Thank you CanGal!

[iceyspots 0]

if he loves her enough, he can wait until she's old enough... if its just for boinking, well there are plenty of 18 year old girls that are good for that..

[antone 0]

You think as a stepmother maybe I have a little right to talk with his gf's mother about this & ask if her daughter is on somekind of birth control? [/b]

I would say that, done tactfully, that would be a perfectly legit matter to raise.

[*Robert* 2]

if he loves her enough, he can wait until she's old enough... if its just for boinking, well there are plenty of 18 year old girls that are good for that..

what does love have to do with this? kids that age don't know what love is! it is lust and hormones, and it is illegal!

i personally, with immigration procedings going on, would not want ANYTHING illegal taking place with my knowedge, especially under my own roof!!!

this is not just innocent sex between two consenting adults, who are "in love"!!!

[Indo_mommy 0]

Seriously, what is happening is called "Statutory Rape"!!! You should not be allowing that AT ALL, unless the legal ages are different in Alabama, which who knows!!

Somebody please help with this one, because I would hate to see her be guilty of aiding and abetting in a serious crime here!

This is wrong wrong wrong, and this is why teen pregnancies occur! Parents can not just look the other way, and just because it is a boy, it seems to be okay! *deep southern voice* “That’s my boy!!! Making himself a man!!!”

Robert, we are all aware of the law side on this matter and my husband never ever says it is okay. If it is okay then we both won't be getting so frustrated by all this.

You think as a stepmother maybe I have a little right to talk with his gf's mother about this & ask if her daughter is on somekind of birth control? [/b]

I would say that, done tactfully, that would be a perfectly legit matter to raise.

Thank you for your encouragement. I just hope her mom won't get offended.

Iceyspot, at the age of 18, my stepson doesn't think with his brain of his heart...well that's from my own observation.

[*Robert* 2]

Robert, we are all aware of the law side on this matter and my husband never ever says it is okay. If it is okay then we both won't be getting so frustrated by all this.

Thank you for your encouragement. I just hope her mom won't get offended.

Iceyspot, at the age of 18, my stepson doesn't think with his brain of his heart...well that's from my own observation.

Oyen, I realize you and your husband are concerned. My comments were more generalized. It is a very difficult situation to be in when you are dealing with teenage boys, especially when they refuse to listen to you.

Military school rings a bell!

As for talking to the girls mother, she may be pissed as hell, but she has the right to know. Maybe they can stop their daughter from seeing your step-son. I really feel for you, since you just walked into all this. Better you let the girls mother know and get some preasure from that side as well.

[CanGal 1]

I'd just say be careful though to oyen. Do her parents even know whats going on if you have not yet talked about this?? If they don't you might want to be careful, there is huge consequences for stuff like this. I know of someone who got himself in deep because the girl was 14 too but her parents didn't know and happened to find out and her father pressed charges though she said it was consensual. I do think you need to meet and talk with this and lay some rules down, especially if he continues to do such things in your home with you home even. It sounds like there are no set rules in place and he is just doing what he wants when he wants too and overriding what you may have tried to tell him. It's yours and your husbands house, you both lay down the law, especially the husband. I would hope that it would be implemented. Who's the adult running the house here, Him or the both of you? I guess right now on that issue it seems to be him. Be careful and i wish you luck.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

to quote a fellow board member: ddaaayyyyuuummmm.

Daniel

:energetic:

[nayalamb 0]

its crazy. i've seen girls at home get pregnant young (maybe not 11 though, dang!) and they are happy! they think their mums will do all the hard work while they are free to go back to school and party on weekends, and alot of those mothers basically end up adopting those babies.

maybe that mother is proud that her daughter got knocked up at 11, instead of at 9 when she probably first started having sex.

[Indo_mommy 0]

Oyen, I realize you and your husband are concerned. My comments were more generalized. It is a very difficult situation to be in when you are dealing with teenage boys, especially when they refuse to listen to you.

Military school rings a bell!

As for talking to the girls mother, she may be pissed as hell, but she has the right to know. Maybe they can stop their daughter from seeing your step-son. I really feel for you, since you just walked into all this. Better you let the girls mother know and get some preasure from that side as well.

I'm sorry Robert for being so sensitive it's just this thing has been driving me slowly crazy.

My stepson is still in high school and his dad had already asked him if he wants to just take his GED test and go to the military service (hoping they will change his attitude) but he said he didn't want to do that. My husband then asked "So what do you want to do with you life?" His answer simply made me jaw dropped "I don't know. Most people doesn't know what they want to do with their life even after they graduated college!"

Thank you Robert. I will definately talk more about this with my husband tonight.

[almaty 19]

i had a female client...preg. at age 12 had child at age 13...boyfriend was 13 ..

[*Robert* 2]

i had a female client...preg. at age 12 had child at age 13...boyfriend was 13 ..

i'm sure it's probably a long story, but i sure wish i knew how you handled it... i just shake my head in disbelief about things like this.

[almaty 19]

i had a female client...preg. at age 12 had child at age 13...boyfriend was 13 ..

i'm sure it's probably a long story, but i sure wish i knew how you handled it... i just shake my head in disbelief about things like this.

i was in private practice hasd a contract to do weekly home visits with her and her mother..saw her when she was 5 months along and about a year after her son was born...

at the same time, i ahd a 15 year old, preg by her step-father...

[Indo_mommy 0]

I'd just say be careful though to oyen. Do her parents even know whats going on if you have not yet talked about this?? If they don't you might want to be careful, there is huge consequences for stuff like this. I know of someone who got himself in deep because the girl was 14 too but her parents didn't know and happened to find out and her father pressed charges though she said it was consensual. I do think you need to meet and talk with this and lay some rules down, especially if he continues to do such things in your home with you home even. It sounds like there are no set rules in place and he is just doing what he wants when he wants too and overriding what you may have tried to tell him. It's yours and your husbands house, you both lay down the law, especially the husband. I would hope that it would be implemented. Who's the adult running the house here, Him or the both of you? I guess right now on that issue it seems to be him. Be careful and i wish you luck.

OMG CanGal, that is scary. I'm not sure if her parents knows but I hope her mother does. Her father doesn't like my stepson (from what he told me) and the only person I'm worried of calling the police is her father.

My husband just had another series of long talks with my stepson which he seems to ignore (again) but they haven't 'doing it' in our house lately. We did had a little row with him last weekend when he insisted on having his girlfriend spend the night here and I stepped my foot down and said NO and eventually he ended up spending the night there at her house.

Thank you CanGal for giving us more prespective on this problem.