IS YOUR WIFE THE SAME ONCE IN THE USA???

[eau_xplain 2]

It has to be done:

29 User(s) are reading this topic (3 Guests and 2 Anonymous Users)

24 Members: onwa, rebeccajo, Kanyiri, welshcookie, Jaylen Brit, laneysera, JC75, Linababe, luv2teach77, ivona, Chuckles, Cassie, cmltdg, Fixer, joone745, LisaD, Joey559, alexil74, eau_xplain, Freda, ratpynn, KAA, gordiejo, Leafgal

:lol:

As my son would say .. "Ownaged!!"

[Cassie 8]

I think it is an injustice to categorize "western women" as lacking "traditional values". Just because a woman is able to think for and express herself does not mean she no longer values family.

When your fiancee comes over and is exposed to the "evils" of the western world, her deeply ingrained values will either keep her grounded or lead her astray, depending on what those values are.

Exactly!

[trey 0]

Has anyone wife changed for the worst and become the much hated "INDEPENDENT FEMINIST" woman that alot of American women have become?? I just don't want that negative influence to come into my wife's mind. How have your marriage experiences been with your foreign wives??

Maybe lock her in the closet and isolate her from this country full of evil women.

[rebeccajo 14]

Ya know, I don't usually let something get to me on this board but this one flares my nostrils today.....maybe I'm having my monthly but I'm too old to tell anymore...

Really, all I ever wanted was to marry a doctor and have him hand over his checks as he ran out the door to the hospital, leaving me home alone with the pool boy and a mercedes.....

Edited May 10, 2006 by rebeccajo

[mercuryroad 0]

Dr. J

You should e-mail the mod and have this thread closed.

The people that are posting here are not really going to understand. You might want to do a search on this site for those of us with Latin American SO's and get some info.

[Leafgal 3]

Ok glad to here it Dr. J, cause I didn't want to get into that either.

For the record many many Western women stay home and look after home and family. I know I did when I had young kids. And when I move I would love to focus on doing that again to take care of my man and our home, unfortunately we sometimes fall into the trap that we need to work to pay off bills like it or not. I don't like it, and I will take time to set in and take care of things at first, luckily for me I share the same culture so there is not that problem for me.

I am sure if you really do trust in your SO and what you both have together she will fit in fine. She will be shell shocked with the different customs and cultures but I am sure you will help her through it.

[Kanyiri 0]

One issue that WESTERN WOMEN encounter is the fact that for many it takes TWO INCOMES for their family...perhaps that is due to what is important in their lives, and the trappings, but it is what it is. I know many WESTERN WOMEN that would have loved to stay at home to raise their children, but they couldn't because they needed another income to pay the bills.

I think this is the biggest issue.

[Chuckles 0]

Don't worry, Dr. J. I understand your question. What a lot of people call "antiquated," we call "traditional." And as you can see, it's not ... Western woman today do not embrace these values.

AMEN AMEN!!! EXACTLY what I was trying to say......tryin to GET AWAY from that....I want "tradition." GOD dont change. I guess I was traditional approach to marriage. oh well.........going to get me a spanish woman!!!

Actually, being a WESTERN WOMAN, I think it is wonderful if a woman wants to stay home and raise her children. Operative word: WANTS. On the other hand, there isn't anything wrong with these darned "INDEPENDENT FEMINISTS" that want, or need, to work outside the home once their children are ...

If you would stop bundling people, and a culture, together as if we are all a flock of sheep that are not individuals, you could begin to receive some of the answers you seek. If you and your wife-to-be are in total agreement in your relationship, then what is your concern? If she truly feels that way, no number of horrible American women could change her mind.

One of the 'problems' with Western culture is that it is now the norm in society to have the 2 incomes and so many people want to keep up with the Jones' and have the 2 nice cars, the big house, etc. etc. then people get suckered into this life (well the greed bug takes over actually) at the expense of the family.

I am not sexist here, it can be the man or the woman, but it is best if one of the two has no job, or, has a less stressful job that is considered second priority to the family.

Now, every situation is different, and smaller families and larger families have different needs. If what you are doing is working, GREAT, I am not here to judge. However, I wish some of the prevailant attitudes from cultures outside US borders would have some influence here in America. We are not ahead of the curve. If you have done extensive travels outside the US/UK/Canada (which so many here have) you would see this.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

I must say tho - shame on people saying 'american women are this' or american men are that' or 'spanish women are the other' and I 'had to go abroad to find a mate'

Some of us fell in love with a PERSON not a set of ideas or a flippin tick list of wants, and it wouldn't have mattered squat where they came from - it was THEM not their country that mattered.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Most people have 2 incomes to pay a mortgage and pay for healthcare NOT to keep up with the Joneses

[Fixer 0]

(Good Lord it took long enough to catch up with all the replies!)

Dear Dr. J

Please forgive those of us males who actually work during the workday and don't spend as much time reading through all the VJ posts to respond to all of them. If not for my fiancee pointing me to this post, I probably never would have seen it.

That said I think you are a horrible communicator, but not a moron as some have inferred. I do, however, believe you are perpetuating the stereotype of the "American male who cannot handle American women so go find some foreign bride".

I am glad you did eventually rephrase your question. I am often telling people on other forums: "Write once, read three times like you hate the person who wrote it, THEN post." To your question I am unable to give a response, however, as my own fiance is not yet here in the USA. I expect, however, being as strong-willed as she is that there is a greater possibility that she will have an effect on US culture than US culture affecting her.

Although I have to agree with welshcookie. You might be better served moving to Columbia than having her move here. The culture difference is something ANYONE should take into account in a multi-cultural marriage. If not for the custody arrangement with my son I *KNOW* I would have moved to Croatia rather than having her deal with the culture shock of moving here. I don't even speak Croatian (although I am learning REAL slow...).

[Welshcookie 17]

I must say tho - shame on people saying 'american women are this' or american men are that' or 'spanish women are the other' and I 'had to go abroad to find a mate'

Some of us fell in love with a PERSON not a set of ideas or a flippin tick list of wants, and it wouldn't have mattered squat where they came from - it was THEM not their country that mattered.

[Chuckles 0]

Most people have 2 incomes to pay a mortgage and pay for healthcare NOT to keep up with the Joneses

Sad. Those people should consider not having a large family or do some planning. Living in a place they can afford would be a start. Getting some education and a better job would be another.

I see people in other countries raising families just fine on one income of 400$ a month. Planning, execution, less greed. Marriage and families are hard !!! Do not take it lightly.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Yes it is sad when a child gets a critical illness and health insurance won't cover it, forcing them to bankruptcy -- I guess people should plan better for these things.

[Cassie 8]

Most people have 2 incomes to pay a mortgage and pay for healthcare NOT to keep up with the Joneses

Sad. Those people should consider not having a large family or do some planning. Living in a place they can afford would be a start. Getting some education and a better job would be another.

I see people in other countries raising families just fine on one income of 400$ a month. Planning, execution, less greed. Marriage and families are hard !!! Do not take it lightly.

OK, this is such utter bullcrap!