Projecting, I know I shouldn't but I am!

[llaz 232]

My fiancee has a son (9 years old) and we are leaving the country in which we planned to spend our life (Chile) and pursuing the K1 visa because the legal family system here is horrible and doesn't protect men from false allegations that women make. The mother of my fiancee's child is a horrible horrible person, she lies, manipulates, steals, cheats and tramples anyone (including her own son and family members) that lies in her path of destruction of my fiancee.

Eventually, more than likely after he is an adult, we know that his son will want to come over to the US and receive his legal permanent residency which neither of us have a problem with. The only thing my fiancee and I worry about is his son passing that onto his mother when he can.

I know that this is a LONGGGGG ways away and things may change from now until then and his son may open his eyes and see how destructive his mother really is, but if he were to get his LPR or eventual citizenship, is there a way we can stop him from passing his LPR or citizenship onto his mother?

Like I said, I know this is a long way away in the future but I am a worry wart!

[janeyz 3]

Probaly not what you would like to here but there is no action you can take to prevent him from applying for his mother (in 9 yrs). After he has derived permanent residence, he is, his own entity, free to sponsor whoever he chooses. As his stepmother (potentially) I would encourage you to remain respectful because she will always be mother.

Edited July 24, 2016 by janeyz

[aleful 1,905]

hi

no, once he is a USC and over 21, you can't do anything to stop him from petitioning for his mom

[llaz 232]

Thank you for your replies. We have not passed permanent residency onto him (by form of k2 or I130) and it will have to be a chat that my fiance and I will have to have if we do end up passing it on to him when that time comes. His mother has primary custody at this point and he will stay in Chile until we are able to get permission to bring him to the US to visit.

I have been disrespected by this woman and always remain polite and classy around her and with her son. I never speak ill of her or her family in front of my stepson. So no need to worry about if I am being respectful to this hateful woman.

[blondedoc 35]

I had this kind of thoughts too... I have 2 kids from another marriage (Im brazilian and my new hubby is an US citizen) and I have the custody of the kids.

My hubby, know that I dont go anywhere without my kids, I was about to refuse anything related to not be with them...

So, he petitioned the kids with me. We discussed this possibility and we got a conclusion...

Once, their biological father is now completely out of contact with them (he decided to disappear... simply... because he owns me 2 years of child support and the court gave him a jail time already) me and hubby decided once the kids get their citizenship in US, we will give up from their brazilian citizenchip and after we will take their biological name and power as a father out. It will be like, they have no biological father.

Like this, we will be protected and we will be sure that none of the kids will never petition their biological father (hes a huge #########... and psych...) and we can be relaxed!!!

Im not sure if you can do it in Chile, but think about it!

Edited July 25, 2016 by Ryan H
Reason for edit: to remove profanity

[blondedoc 35]

Just one thing? is not that we will not allow them to see him... They have the right...

But we dont need to help them to bring someone to US who we dont want next to us, even because he attempted to my life already... I made a complaining at the police and nothing happened...

It will be like this? Ok... Do you want to look for your biological father? Take a visa, buy a ticket and go there... His name is bla bla bla and thats it.

[llaz 232]

I had this kind of thoughts too... I have 2 kids from another marriage (Im brazilian and my new hubby is an US citizen) and I have the custody of the kids.

My hubby, know that I dont go anywhere without my kids, I was about to refuse anything related to not be with them...

So, he petitioned the kids with me. We discussed this possibility and we got a conclusion...

Once, their biological father is now completely out of contact with them (he decided to disappear... simply... because he owns me 2 years of child support and the court gave him a jail time already) me and hubby decided once the kids get their citizenship in US, we will give up from their brazilian citizenchip and after we will take their biological name and power as a father out. It will be like, they have no biological father.

Like this, we will be protected and we will be sure that none of the kids will never petition their biological father (hes a huge #########... and psych...) and we can be relaxed!!!

Im not sure if you can do it in Chile, but think about it!

Just one thing? is not that we will not allow them to see him... They have the right...

But we dont need to help them to bring someone to US who we dont want next to us, even because he attempted to my life already... I made a complaining at the police and nothing happened...

It will be like this? Ok... Do you want to look for your biological father? Take a visa, buy a ticket and go there... His name is bla bla bla and thats it.

Im sorry to hear that your ex is a deadbeat father, uninterested in his children, It really does take all kinds of parents, horrible mothers (in our case), horrible fathers (in your case) in this world. Im glad that you found a way to protect your children from someone that might be potentially harmful to them. My fiance is a great father, pays child support on time, he had to fight for visitation with his son because crazy woman refused to let him see his son because she found out I was in the picture.

That is a great idea, however, the family legal system in Chile would never grant full custody my fiance simply because he is the father and not the mother. Biological mom would have to be selling drugs, selling herself or physically abusing stepson in order for us to gain custody.

This is exactly how my fiance and I feel... "But we dont need to help them to bring someone to US who we dont want next to us" ..we are leaving Chile for a reason, and it is to get away from her and to protect ourselves the last thing we need is for her to come following us to the US.

Edited July 25, 2016 by Ryan H
Reason for edit: to remove profanity in quote

[Boiler 43,434]

The father is the father, nothing you can do, if once they hit 21 then they have the right as a USC to petition their Father, not sure what blondedoc is going on about, it will have no impact.

[NikLR 13,220]

You have zero control over who a child chooses to sponsor. That's their responsibility should the time come. However, keep in mind that sponsoring an adult child isn't nearly as easy as sponsoring a minor.

I had this kind of thoughts too... I have 2 kids from another marriage (Im brazilian and my new hubby is an US citizen) and I have the custody of the kids.

My hubby, know that I dont go anywhere without my kids, I was about to refuse anything related to not be with them...

So, he petitioned the kids with me. We discussed this possibility and we got a conclusion...

Once, their biological father is now completely out of contact with them (he decided to disappear... simply... because he owns me 2 years of child support and the court gave him a jail time already) me and hubby decided once the kids get their citizenship in US, we will give up from their brazilian citizenchip and after we will take their biological name and power as a father out. It will be like, they have no biological father.

Like this, we will be protected and we will be sure that none of the kids will never petition their biological father (hes a huge douchebag... and psych...) and we can be relaxed!!!

Im not sure if you can do it in Chile, but think about it!

So your husband will adopt your children? Or are you trying to remove their father's parental rights?

[Unlockable 7,306]

LOL.

Nothing you can do about that. When he is 21 if your stepson wanted to he can buy the house next door to you and move his mother in after he immigrates her to the US.

Of course I'm being facetious. It's late and I'm tired.

[Rc123rc 528]

Take a deep breath. Calm down. You don't have custody and permission for him to join his father and may never have which means he can't immigrate. When he is an adult, the process changes. However, if he is able to immigrate and turns 21 nothing can be done about his mother. Either way, a lot can happen in 9+ years. Enjoy your life together.

[llaz 232]

However, keep in mind that sponsoring an adult child isn't nearly as easy as sponsoring a minor.

Thank you NLP for your response, in what way is it harder to sponsor an adult child in comparison to a minor?

LOL.

Nothing you can do about that. When he is 21 if your stepson wanted to he can buy the house next door to you and move his mother in after he immigrates her to the US.

Of course I'm being facetious. It's late and I'm tired.

Now THAT would be the day! lol. Its seeming as though my fiance and I will have to have a long chat before we decide if we want to apply for LPR status for his son then. At this point hes showing defiance against coming, even just for a visit, but this is another one of BioMom's brainwashing techniques because before she knew I was in the picture he was super excited about coming.

Take a deep breath. Calm down. You don't have custody and permission for him to join his father and may never have which means he can't immigrate. When he is an adult, the process changes. However, if he is able to immigrate and turns 21 nothing can be done about his mother. Either way, a lot can happen in 9+ years. Enjoy your life together.

When he is an adult can he apply on his own for LPR if someone else decides to sponsor him? or does the LPR/Citizen have to sponsor him?

That is very true, I've very much so learned to hope for the best plan for the worst in this situation. Thank you.

Edited July 24, 2016 by llaz

[Ortolan 381]

Best thing you can do for this little boy, and for yourself is to try to be a good stepmom to him. Kindness, reasonableness, and friendship can go a long way to balance out his life, and if he has a terrible mother, well, at least he will have 2 other people in his life that are good people.

When he's old enough to possibly petition his mother, there's not a thing you can do about it. But like someone said earlier, that's a long way into the future, so stop worrying about it and get on with your life.

[llaz 232]

Best thing you can do for this little boy, and for yourself is to try to be a good stepmom to him. Kindness, reasonableness, and friendship can go a long way to balance out his life, and if he has a terrible mother, well, at least he will have 2 other people in his life that are good people.

When he's old enough to possibly petition his mother, there's not a thing you can do about it. But like someone said earlier, that's a long way into the future, so stop worrying about it and get on with your life.

Very true. I do have a decent relationship with my stepson, he respects me, I respect him. I do feel bad for him because he is stuck with said woman and I wish sometimes that he could be with us because I know how different his life would be if someone were to encourage him to be a child and grow as a child and watch out for him. He's a smart boy and with a little challenging in the right ways he could be so much more.

Thank you for your response.

[NikLR 13,220]

Thank you NLP for your response, in what way is it harder to sponsor an adult child in comparison to a minor?

Now THAT would be the day! lol. Its seeming as though my fiance and I will have to have a long chat before we decide if we want to apply for LPR status for his son then. At this point hes showing defiance against coming, even just for a visit, but this is another one of BioMom's brainwashing techniques because before she knew I was in the picture he was super excited about coming.

When he is an adult can he apply on his own for LPR if someone else decides to sponsor him? or does the LPR/Citizen have to sponsor him?

That is very true, I've very much so learned to hope for the best plan for the worst in this situation. Thank you.

It takes significantly longer. With a minor child it takes about a year. Currently they're processing unmarried over 21 children of USC March 2009. The child must stay unmarried or else they default into another visa class with a longer wait.

If you plan on it after he turns 21 it would be better for your fiance to remain an LPR because that priority date is Nov 2014.

Depending on the age of the child you can expect these to generally go up as you go along. But still, that's a much longer wait than the year if he's under 21. If he's under 18 he can gain automatic citizenship if his dad is already a citizen (which he can do, if you're still married, at 90 days less than 3 years of being an LPR.) Maybe throw that at the biomom and she may change her tune about wanting a USC son. Suddenly you may find that yes, his son can certainly come live with you.

Edited July 24, 2016 by NLR