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Surprise guest...but no room

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My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years he now has the 10 year green card. Recently my husband informed me that he has a cousin coming to the United States to "visit". The cousin was given a visa and my husband gave out my mother's address for him to use. I am not happy about this at all. His cousin had used the address of some good friends of his and each time he was denied. The friends promised to take him in if he came to the US. Now that he got approved they are not taking his phone calls. We live in my mother's house the 5 of us my husband, older brother, (college bound) sister 18, mother, and me. Everyone works except me and younger sister. We don't have a lot but we manage to somehow pay bills and get by. I quit my job recently and returned to Grad school. I have been out of work for 6 months. I just interviewed yesterday for a job. His cousin is coming in 3 days for a 10 day visit. I am at a loss for words I should have expected this as this is part of the Haitian culture. There is an expectation that once you get to America that you must help those back home. Which is fine in theory....meaning if you have the means to do so. We do NOT have the means at this time. I need to confront my husband about this. It looks like he dug a deep hole here. Maybe trying to save face or present a picture to others. Prior to him coming (4-5 years) my mother was already on thin ice with me. She was fed up with my career struggles. She has since warmed up we are a close family. We pay certain bills, cook, clean, run errands, husband is the house fixer pretty much. This is completely unfair to her. Her goal was to support us until we are somewhat secure. As a curtsey I want to talk to my husband first and tell him we need to talk to my mother together. He casually mentioned this before and her response back then was to find a room for his cousin to stay. Any thoughts

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Agree, US has lots of hotels.

How about Airbnb?

Edited by Boiler

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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eh -

rather than deal with it when he arrives,

i suggest you find him a private room-share , short term, on craigslist, pay for it in advance,

and just give him the key when he arrives, and drop him off there prior to 5:15 PM on arrival day.

and no, no need to talk with husband about it,

as

he not step up and solve this himself. Plus he assumes that saying with Mom is ok. (IMO that's a fallacy)


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I agree with Darnell, get a room pay for the month (he's likely not going back)

and your husband can take him a few groceries...Please have your husband

inform him he simply stays with your family & cannot take in another B4 he gets

here, this will minimize the feeling of animosity by getting a room and not having

to put him out in the future. It will also be money well spent, staying after that he can

only blame himself.

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Thank you all for your replies. This is exactly what was bothering me about the whole picture. It looks worse when I read the story myself. I am looking for rooms as we speak. I will worry about extended family members later. (this was also a concern of mine) Mainly having his family overseas make comments about this arrangement.

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Check out hostels in the area if you have them, more like a bunk house sleeping arrangement. You put this stranger up too nicely and half the country will be showing up expecting the same ( word of mouth spread fast when a flop house is open ) Only pay for 10 days, and I would not want him overstaying in your house. It wouldn't look good to immigration is you are assisting someone in violating the terms of their visa.


This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this.

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alas, some use the bond in lieu of communication.


Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

2mzcunl.gif

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Easy if it is your house.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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You shouldn't overlook the possibility that a 10 day "visit" could turn into an indefinate stay. I'm not saying that is the case but that kind of thing happens quite often.

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