Regret marrying k1 pinay

[Lee&Ana 88]

Has anyone experienced an ungrateful pinay, k1 wife? My wife has stressed me out with waiting for her ead combo card that I have shingles now, which is unbelievable pain. Everything is the end of the world. The Philippines is so great.

She got the combo card today, and I find out about it because she posted on her Facebook about it. No thank you, no I am sorry you are sick, nothing.

She has been asking to go back to the Philippines and I told her to wait until she can work and she can pay for her ticket back. I am not spending any more money on her. She isn't a gold digger and could care less about being a citizen.

She is just a stubborn, immature province girl that cannot be confronted when she does something I dislike. She is the queen of Tampo. A simple comment of how I feel something is lacking on her part turns into days of silent treatment. She complains that she is stuck in the house without work for 8 months.

We had no rfe's during fiancé visa or AOS. I am working 2 jobs to support us. We eat Filipino food 24 hours a day. She has a great internet connection and the top of the line pinoy directv package. I have done everything I can to make her comfortable while she is waiting to adjust status. She believes every word that comes out of another pinoy/pinay's mouth as the gospel as opposed to anything I have to say. I even have a good job lined up for her that starts at $14 hour.

No thanks, no compassion, just stress and drama. I think now that she has a travel permit, she needs to work and take a visit back to the Philippines to appreciate what I am trying to do for her. Can she travel with the advance parole before AOS and come back without trouble? I am under the impression that if I don't go to the AOS interview and pull the affidavit of support, she can go back and I am not responsible for her anymore?

Opinions anyone?

[Pinkrlion 2,607]

She wont have any problems traveling on AP. You can file for divorce, and pull I-864, and she can return home without GC.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Will she be able to come back with advance parole?

[leisli 15]

As far as your marital problems, maybe you could try counselling(?)

I am under the impression that if I don't go to the AOS interview and pull the affidavit of support, she can go back and I am not responsible for her anymore?

if you don't want to be married to her anymore, you can apply for divorce and pull the affidavit of support BEFORE she has the green card on hand.

Edited January 31, 2016 by leisli

[Hank_ 9,173]

Will she be able to come back with advance parole?

Yup she can enter the USA with the AP combo card

[Brassballs 47]

Individuals are different...

That's why our stories are different.

Not to hijack op thread but.....

How did you get 10 year GC after only 2 months since POE and citizenship application at 3 months versus 3 years?

JUst curious.

[tomyka81 95]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that she didn't cause your shingles. Most likely caused by chicken pox. But there are two perspectives to every situation. 1) you know she didn't marry you for a green card cause of how she is acting. 2) imagine yourself somewhere without employment watching your loved one pay for EVERYTHING.... That would kill you.... It is difficult to want to help and not be able too. The food issue is a simple fix. She isn't lazy cause she cooks all the time. Just the same think. Try slipping her a recipe card of something different but not too challenging. The only reason she is listening to other people is because in her eyes, they have been where she is. The same reason you came on here, you are seeking advice from people who have been there. Honestly I don't see any thing here that merits divorce. She just needs a job and a cookbook

[Villanelle 4,121]

Not to hijack op thread but.....

How did you get 10 year GC after only 2 months since POE and citizenship application at 3 months versus 3 years?

JUst curious.

If you are married for more then 2 yrs when you enter on an IR1 (spouse visa) you get the 10 yr card. Married less then 2 yrs you are a CR1- and get the 2 yr card and need to remove conditions.

For citizenship its in the timeline- (319b)- this refers to being the spouse of an active military member who is being deployed overseas. If thats you- you can apply for expedited citizenship and do not have to wait 3 yrs from the date you became an LPR.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Not to hijack op thread but.....

How did you get 10 year GC after only 2 months since POE and citizenship application at 3 months versus 3 years?

JUst curious.

10 green card answer is easy. They were married for 2 years or more before getting the visa.

Not sure what is cooking with the N-400 application... that requires 3 years as an LPR.

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

***** One post against the TOS and two quoting removed. Post constructively to help the Op or do not post. *****

[malenliam 18]

Not to hijack op thread but.....

How did you get 10 year GC after only 2 months since POE and citizenship application at 3 months versus 3 years?

JUst curious.

we applied for IR1 visa coz we are more than 2 years married when we applied. we passed the conditional status

10 green card answer is easy. They were married for 2 years or more before getting the visa.

Not sure what is cooking with the N-400 application... that requires 3 years as an LPR.

husband is working in Kuwait at US Government so we are applying for N400 under section 319b

[Eric&Tasha 5]

Has anyone experienced an ungrateful pinay, k1 wife? My wife has stressed me out with waiting for her ead combo card that I have shingles now, which is unbelievable pain. Everything is the end of the world. The Philippines is so great.

She got the combo card today, and I find out about it because she posted on her Facebook about it. No thank you, no I am sorry you are sick, nothing.

She has been asking to go back to the Philippines and I told her to wait until she can work and she can pay for her ticket back. I am not spending any more money on her. She isn't a gold digger and could care less about being a citizen.

She is just a stubborn, immature province girl that cannot be confronted when she does something I dislike. She is the queen of Tampo. A simple comment of how I feel something is lacking on her part turns into days of silent treatment. She complains that she is stuck in the house without work for 8 months.

We had no rfe's during fiancé visa or AOS. I am working 2 jobs to support us. We eat Filipino food 24 hours a day. She has a great internet connection and the top of the line pinoy directv package. I have done everything I can to make her comfortable while she is waiting to adjust status. She believes every word that comes out of another pinoy/pinay's mouth as the gospel as opposed to anything I have to say. I even have a good job lined up for her that starts at $14 hour.

No thanks, no compassion, just stress and drama. I think now that she has a travel permit, she needs to work and take a visit back to the Philippines to appreciate what I am trying to do for her. Can she travel with the advance parole before AOS and come back without trouble? I am under the impression that if I don't go to the AOS interview and pull the affidavit of support, she can go back and I am not responsible for her anymore?

Opinions anyone?

It looks like she is under too much stress. Immigration is not easy for anybody but some people suffer much more or never adapt to the new country. As a husband, help her, help her to feel more welcomed and also as in her own country, at the beginning she needs her church, her friends, her language and her cooking, not easy for her and it's not easy for you.

Mixed marriage is never easy, I am here in US apparently well but all this long distance relation and waiting is freaking me out, all kind of doubts and thoughts in my mind, my fiance also has doubts and our understanding is not good, probably we will still have the starting live together issues and yes, we love each other very much. Not easy for anybody, try to help your wife and yourself understanding better. Good luck to you and ... I hope good luck to me too

[gen_todd 6]

I don't believe you married the Queen of Tampo. I married her in June 2015 and I still have no regrets. Sorry to hear about your wife.

[Hank_ 9,173]

we applied for IR1 visa coz we are more than 2 years married when we applied. we passed the conditional status

husband is working in Kuwait at US Government so we are applying for N400 under section 319b

Very cool! Learned something new. Marang Salamat!

http://www.uscis.gov/policymanual/HTML/PolicyManual-Volume12-PartG-Chapter4.html

[Am & Ra 19]

Has anyone experienced an ungrateful pinay, k1 wife? My wife has stressed me out with waiting for her ead combo card that I have shingles now, which is unbelievable pain. Everything is the end of the world. The Philippines is so great.
She got the combo card today, and I find out about it because she posted on her Facebook about it. No thank you, no I am sorry you are sick, nothing.
She has been asking to go back to the Philippines and I told her to wait until she can work and she can pay for her ticket back. I am not spending any more money on her. She isn't a gold digger and could care less about being a citizen.
She is just a stubborn, immature province girl that cannot be confronted when she does something I dislike. She is the queen of Tampo. A simple comment of how I feel something is lacking on her part turns into days of silent treatment. She complains that she is stuck in the house without work for 8 months.
We had no rfe's during fiancé visa or AOS. I am working 2 jobs to support us. We eat Filipino food 24 hours a day. She has a great internet connection and the top of the line pinoy directv package. I have done everything I can to make her comfortable while she is waiting to adjust status. She believes every word that comes out of another pinoy/pinay's mouth as the gospel as opposed to anything I have to say. I even have a good job lined up for her that starts at $14 hour.
No thanks, no compassion, just stress and drama. I think now that she has a travel permit, she needs to work and take a visit back to the Philippines to appreciate what I am trying to do for her. Can she travel with the advance parole before AOS and come back without trouble? I am under the impression that if I don't go to the AOS interview and pull the affidavit of support, she can go back and I am not responsible for her anymore?
Opinions anyone?

My friend I don't think she was the cause your shingles, or does she owe you any thankfulness for being brought to the USA. Put yourself in her shoes, she gave up her family and all her friends to be with you. Sounds to me like she is having culture shock and things just didn't turn out like she expected. I'm also guessing since 95% of the time fiancees from Philippines are going to expect you to allow them to help support their family, that she feels caged and unworthy of helping them.

This is the culture of the Philippines, and why many younger women from there are willing to marry older men from different country. Philippines is a country that is very friends and family oriented, it might be poor, but no amount of money or possessions can replace their love for family. My advice is for you to talk to and listen to her needs and what she feels she is lacking whether friends, family, job etc.

I don't think she is using you because of her willingness to go back to Philippines, which means she is willing to live in poverty than to live the life she is living now in the USA. Solution I believe is get her connected with other married Filipino local groups and spend time with other couples together. Allow her to work at least part-time in order to help her family, or you will have them against you too.

Love and marriage is not about what you can get from somebody but what you are unconditionally willing to give, and yes this applies to her also. Just be cognoscente of everything she has given up in order to be with you. If after you have examined yourself and truly tried to understand her and supported her needs and her supporting your needs. Then decide on what steps to take if things don't get better, but I believe they will, I think the bottom line here is she feels alone and trapped at home.