Brad and Vika

Armchair quarterbacking is much better, eh?
If moderators were elected under a democratic election process, would that suit you? How about random selection? Or, how about post count? Which method would you prefer to see employed to select a moderator?
What people need to fully appreciate this is that this site is not a democracy, or anything close to it. It's a privately owned and run website and all this bitching and moaning about the moderation serves little purpose other than to vent at someone. Because in the end, if you don't like how the site is run, you always have the ultimate recourse.

OK everybody. I removed some more posts with personal attacks, and this thread has slid WAY off into the name calling, not-very-constructive zone. Any more attacks, profane comments, or the like and I will shut it down. Play nice.
Thanks

As the newest mod, I wanted to add my two cents in here - starting with - Wow! I am thoroughly surprised that even AJ would create a separate thread about all this. I looked at a post or two, ran an errand, and - Wow
Welcome back mox! I wondered where you have been hiding/lurking. Good to see you.
Sofiyya - It was me - the new guy. I wanted to respond to you specifically because it looks to me that you have a serious, legitimate concern here that is faith based, and you aren't creating drama for its own sake. First, I do not agree that hate language is OK, and have sanctioned members already for doing so. I apologize if my leaving the site link up offends you, and that was not my intent. Of course I will abide by any decision Ewok makes without protest here.
I do believe that all of us have a right to an opinion, especially here. The article seemed at first quick read to contain mostly opinion, with an amount of historical perspective. And yes, scholarly was way too strong. I also did state that the Cordoba thread has some pics that are also inflammatory (although I think they are amusing too). As a moderator, I don't think my job is to defend any one's faith, you all are capable of that if you care to do so. Also, I believe that all members should be able to take and illustrate a position, and be given SOME latitude to do so.
Even though your response doesn't really surprise me much, don't you think it a silly waste of time to attack me without asking questions? Your message was pretty clear "If I don't like it - you WILL remove it, or hear me scream to eternity". Next time dial it down and just ask me, try presenting a persuasive argument instead of hysteria and attacks. And please understand, absolutely no one was responding to this with a PM. I was responding to your PM with a PM. I suggested you appeal to Ewok because that is how the system works in my understanding. You weren't really suggesting anything other than that I immediately reverse myself because you reported something and didn't like the result. You also suggested I am biased, presumably because I don't agree with you. Seriously, dialogue is better.
I do tend towards a fairly liberal interpretation of what is strong (or slanted) opinion, and therefore a subject for debate here (as opposed to name calling and hate). Sometimes letting some edgy stuff in is a good thing, as it encourages a healthy debate. That was the idea. You would find me letting in sites that claim outrageous things about other religions too, for the same reasons.
Again, apologies to any who are truly offended. For those among us who just like to scream, let 'er rip.

If having more kids means getting a raise in the monthly check. Have more kids! Might even get to move into the ultimate 3 bedroom subsidized home along with free daycare/ Medical/Dental/ Vision/ Lunches/food.

Posting hate speach, sites that contain it, attacks for reporting or banning it, are all TOS no-nos. Administrative action taken. Hate language directed towards Muslims or any other group will not be tolerated.
Thanks

Posting hate speach, sites that contain it, attacks for reporting or banning it, are all TOS no-nos. Administrative action taken. Hate language directed towards Muslims or any other group will not be tolerated.
Thanks

Someone who wants a little peace and quiet?

If she is departing for the USA, she will need to show that she has the proper permission to seek entry into the USA. Her Ukrainian passport alone without a visa does not work. So she will have to try and leave Ukraine on her US passport .... the problem is that it was never stamped for entry into Ukraine.... I assume they look for the entry stamp, but don't know for sure... If they do look for an entry stamp, how will she explain how she entered? If that is questioned, then she will have to produce her Ukrainian passport and then all of a sudden something is known. Will they inquire or do something? I don't know.

My visit to the FedEx office in Kherson did not inspire confidence.

I love his family and this is where we will have built our lives together. So I would stay.
Besides I've been going to school here for 10 years and all my friends are here. Here is already home to me

For the life of me I just can't believe someone when they say they don't check out other women because their woman is "good enough for them." While I admire them for trying (and even buying their own BS) I just can't accept it.
And here's why. You said you prefer Shooting Times. OK. Got it. Now, you have a gorgeous wife who gets VS catalogs yet you can't look through them and admire the contents because you have a "gorgeous" model at home. Well, you have a whole bunch of guns too yet you keep looking at gun magazines. Aren't your guns "gorgeous" too?
While I realize a man can't own just one gun, I simply do not buy that he doesn't look at other women because his is already "good enough." Like the insatiable need to still "see what's out there" when it comes to firearms - be that for simply admiring their beauty or learning of new and cutting edge techniques, etc. - how can there be no need to "see what's out there" with women?
I realize this is personal and it's your business, but as someone who just a few days ago was talking about Danica Patrick and Salma Hayek, it seems odd to me that what you have at home is so great you "don't" even look at anything else. To me, it sounds more like you "can't" look at anything else.
I'm not trying to take a shot at you here, like I said, it's your business. I just don't buy it.

The Irish and the Darfur tribes do share a common bond...they both seem to enjoy blowing their fellow countrymen up.

Leave it to VV to try and start trouble, maybe not enough attention paid to him today. Whoever the boss is, is none of your concern. Alla doesn't like men who cry, unless it is over her being dead.
sorry VV, I am not biting today. I had a good week, made a lot of money, (the direct deposit showed up today!) went fishing, took an extra two days off and I think I will take off Monday and Tuesday also. I worked three days this week, a whole 18 hours (in a holiday week) and I deserve a rest. No video games for me here, but I have the green mountains right outside and there is a bunch of good trout streams there. Hmmm. Johnson Brook should do nicely Monday morning.

#######. I missed this rant somehow. Must have been a good one if it was Brad though! Someone point me in the right direction...long day at work here. Hey...anyone remember that awesome meltdown my wife and I had on VJ once? lol Happy to say that's only happened once or twice in our relationship, but what we lack in quantity we definately made up in quality.

I never detected that reluctance on Brad's part. But those of us that met our wives other than by internet marriage agencies, even though neither I nor Brad has ever said a bad word about someone meeting that way, we seem to get pooh-poohed or doubted as if we are somehow saying we are better because we met them in the "normal" way, when I have never suggested that and neither has Brad to my knowledge. Nor was an American meeting a Ukrainian in Prague anything I would consider "normal". I have nothing against online meeting places, regardless what they call them and think it has nothing at all to do with whether you are happy or not with your spouse. Had I not met Alla I probably would have used an internet site, I was done with American women...spoiled rotten by Ukrainian honey.
I have never denied my being the luckiest man on earth, no doubt, I hit the jackpot and never bought a lottery ticket. Go figure. I must have done something right.

Welcome back, Brad. I find it hard to believe you spent a whole weekend without your laptop! I bet you were sneaking the web on your phone "I'll be right out" or dropping by the lobby to check e-mail on those late night "ice runs." (I remember your story about Vika being ticked because you were answering e-mails at the beach while on vacation.) You were missed.
So why do people disappear from VJ? I'd say it has a lot to do with their functionality running it's course. While going through the process they have to come here to find answers, waste time, etc., and in doing so they actually feel closer to their SO because they're doing something related to the VJ process. Once their SO arrives and they get through AOS and the real business of life is a daily occurance, VJ kind of loses it's necessity. While they're apart, VJ is another form of "doing something" for the process. After the daily grind of life takes shape, VJ is more of a "waste" of time, even to the point where some SOs don't like the fact that we're on VJ all the time. ("You never take me out to dinner, only waste time on your stupid Visa Journey, blat.")
As for "arguing about the same old thing over and over" well, that's cyclical. When we get groups of folks on here about the same point in their VJ process, they have remarkably similar postings. Those who are "waiting" are still in that whimsical "sunshine and puppy dogs" stage where they can't wait to be with their SO again and everything is rainbows and unicorns and love is grand and they make a lot of posts about it. The theme seems to carry on about romantic topics and what to do in the early stages. After a while, and once we're down to the "old guys" here on the forum, we end up with "I wish my wife would go home so I could have a break" posts and those tend to dominate the scene for a while.
I think folks leave depending on where they are in that cycle and also how much they want to participate in it. We'll see folks who leave come back when their AOS lifting conditions is due or they begin naturalization. Or, they'll stop back by when life starts to come at them in some unexpected way. "Why is she crazy? Is anyone else's wife crazy too?"
We all fall into one, some, or all of those categories and not necessarily at the same time. Since we're all at different positions in that cycle, that's why we have problems sometimes.
Mox will be back. We crossed swords but it wasn't that big of a deal. He floats from one forum to another depending on what suits him. He'll be back and he won't even be mad. He'll come back once he's had enough of the other stuff and he'll fall right back into the RUB forum cycle. Then, once he tires of us again, he'll disappear for while. He's like the RUB forum phoenix.
For everyone else, it all depends on where they are in the cycle. What should we do about it? Honestly, I don't think we should do anything. This is the internet and if you don't like it, take a break or go somewhere else.
For the record, I love everyone on here! I even like our "visitors" who stop by to tell us how mean we are. I'd like them more if they'd stay in their own forums, but that's just me.
Happy VJ'ing!

Charles iz ruining my internetz.

Has Vika been back to visit yet since coming to the USA? For Oleksandra it's been a really great trip. She missed Lviv, her friends, and most of all family, but she's also now missing "home" here in the USA and will be ready to come back. I think next time the plan is that we'll both go back to Lviv, but I'll definately make sure it will be in the middle of summer! I've been 3 times all in the winter months...not doing that again!
There have been a few negatives she had forgotten about by the way: bad roads, expensive food, crappy weather, and occasionally cold showers! Sounds like she's really loading up on Ukranian/Russian DVDs so I guess that's in my future. I sent her with a video camera this time too...she's filled up 6 tapes so far and has 8 more to go.

Sorry Brad, I tried. It is all true what I said, but Alla is having a good time and seeing all her friends, and going to cafe's and walks at the river. She went to the dentist and had her annual checkup and stocked up on contact lenses yesterday. She will be going to Moscow for a week and some of her friends from here are there now also on vacation. She had a hard time with the time change for the first time in her travels (it never seems to bother me much, except the first day when I come back)
Vika's turn will come.
It is interesting that it seems each time she misses her home here more than the last time and notes some good points. She has said that life in the US "has many good points and only a few bad ones" I think moving to the city took care of most of the bad ones.

Sorry to be a contrarian, but I think folks sometimes go a little crazy-retentive with the advice and prep. I sent the entire package with one big clip, check on top. No cover letter. A dozen or so pics in hard copy. Everything worked fine.
Try to relax a little. The visa you are chasing now is different than a tourist visa, especially for some one his age. If I remember your earlier posts, you had tougher stuff to work through than this at home. Best of luck to you!

Sorry to be a contrarian, but I think folks sometimes go a little crazy-retentive with the advice and prep. I sent the entire package with one big clip, check on top. No cover letter. A dozen or so pics in hard copy. Everything worked fine.
Try to relax a little. The visa you are chasing now is different than a tourist visa, especially for some one his age. If I remember your earlier posts, you had tougher stuff to work through than this at home. Best of luck to you!

I think it is tied to the intent of the visa recipient. Based only on what I have read here, if you intended to come to America as a tourist, to work, etc. and meet some one - you are fine. The trouble seems to be with the facts and circumstances. If I were the case officer, I would have a tough time believing that any one fell in love and developed a legitimate relationship leading to marriage during the span of a vacation - but it apparently happens.
You are right about Eastern Europeans having to beat a presumption that they intend to stay. Vice Consul in Minsk actually said as much to me - in addition to the already existing presumption that all visa recipients intend to immigrate, there is a presumption that Eastern Europeans will illegally overstay. I think the number he gave me was that 80% of the females under thirty who travel from Belarus to America on any kind of visa do not return. I would love to see stats on that for Ukraine and Russia.

Wow. Speaking as a USC man who knows nothing about Islam, and very little about teaching young kids, I think this all well said. Thanks for the explanation and easy to understand example.

For Kiev, you probably won't need any of that. Most people who read that comment just ignore it and print out reams of material anyway, but you can get by with a small selection of email. My wife had a binder+, and they looked at a couple of pics and a tax return. Don't sweat it.

We have time.