have to complain

[venusfire503 54]

Ok, I just have to complain about this....

I'm a sub, and one day I was at a school and one of the regular teachers was telling me about how she allows a girl in her class to remove her hijab. She didn't seem to understand why the girl's father got upset about it, so I explained it to her - that it's part of their religion, and that it's considered indecent for her to take it off in public (yes, I know that's not true of all Muslims, but obviously is in this case). She told me the father showed up in the class one day and got angry about it, so the next time he showed up, she had the girl (1st grader) hide behind her until she put it back on. I told her that could cause problems for the school. She thanked me for the information.

I went to the school another time, and saw the same girl without her head scarf. I had a private conversation with the principal - without mentioning any names, just the situation. She knew exactly who I was talking about, though. I explained to her as well the importance of not allowing the child to remove it, and she seemed to get it.

Well, I went there again recently, and the same first grader is still running around with nothing on her head. I even saw the scarf on the floor!

Now, not only does this show total lack of regard for the religion, but it also is teaching this young girl that it's just fine to disobey her father. Especially since it's the school who is allowing and encouraging this behavior! I imagine this will eventually cause some major problems. Can you believe that they allow this to go on? Again, it's a slap in the face to religion, but they're also undermining parental authority... and probably confusing the poor kid as well....

[SweetHome_Alabama 5]

I totally agree with you. My husband comes from more of a modest upbringing but also a religious family. His mother wears the hijab and scarves in public and at home too mostly ( I never saw her uncovered---just adjusting her scarf) and her children wear more westernized clothing without hijab, kaftans, scarves...but sometimes they wear when they want so it's their choice and not pushed onto them, but they respect everything behind the covering up. I agree with you this teacher is allowing this child to see it's ok not to listen to the parents and she is confused enough when seeing other children not wearing it. A lot of the children in Morocco DO NOT wear coverings and wear jeans and nice sweaters tops. Obviously this family is more strict with the teachings and it should be obeyed and it should be between the family and child to make this decision. A lot of people frown upon Islam and I hear all kinds of comments too, and I ignore it because there is stupidity between people and you just can't argue religion with anyone. I am glad I have an open-mind and therefore I think this is the reason My husband and I will get along better without religion being an argument for us. I will probably attend a Mosque service here to see for myself and I try to learn and understand this religion more and as one told me here, it's not just a religion...It's their entire culture and up-bringing and it should be respected. I think the family needs to know this school is going against their up-bringing and teachings at the family home. No one understands unless you are married into a Muslim family or are friends with Muslim families.....I know you don't want to be put in the middle, and it's a hard decision to make.

Edited May 1, 2010 by Lisa_Mohammed

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Wearing hijab shouldnt be forced. If the young girl takes it off, I think that is her personal choice. If she knows their will be repercussions at home if she removes it, and she still chooses to do it, Its her fault, not the teachers.

[venusfire503 54]

Wearing hijab shouldnt be forced. If the young girl takes it off, I think that is her personal choice. If she knows their will be repercussions at home if she removes it, and she still chooses to do it, Its her fault, not the teachers.

A teacher should not encourage a 6 year old to defy her father, much less cover it up when she does. If the girl uncovers at home, then that's her choice, and she can deal with her father. A teacher should NEVER undermine parental authority. I'm not a Muslim, but I am a parent. And a teacher.

The teacher should quietly remind the child that her father told both of them that the girl is supposed to be wearing it, and then let it go. She should not be hiding the girl behind her, though.

Would you have the same opinion if a teacher allowed a teenage girl to remove an article of clothing that her parents told her to keep on? Like when girls layer clothing, as my teenage daughter does? What if the teacher was allowing a student to engage in some other behavior that a parent didn't allow?

If I ever found out that a teacher was covering up and encouraging behavior that I don't allow for my children, there would be some big problems for the teacher as well as the school district. The teacher has no right to impose her values on a student. Parents DO have a right to teach their morals to their children. A six year old is not old enough to make decisions like that. That's why she has parents. It's also why children under 18 have to be legally emancipated from their parents if there is a reason - it's not something that can be done lightly or automatically.

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

Oh, I don't think I mentioned this, but the teacher told me the girl asked her if she could take it off. The teacher should have said "your father wants you to keep it on. You can talk with him about it" instead of telling her yes.

That might make a difference to some people's opinion. It's kind of like "when daddy says no, ask mommy".

venusfire

[LaL 418]

Oh, I don't think I mentioned this, but the teacher told me the girl asked her if she could take it off. The teacher should have said "your father wants you to keep it on. You can talk with him about it" instead of telling her yes.

That might make a difference to some people's opinion. It's kind of like "when daddy says no, ask mommy".

venusfire

She told the girl that, yet is allowing her to take it off in the end? I don't understand.

As an aside, I remember clearly getting in trouble for taking down my braids in 2nd grade, and that's way less important than this situation.

[Berber Mama 5]

I thought (from my understanding) that covering the hair didn't come about until a girl reached puberty. If a girl wears one before this time, it's purely her choice so why the big deal if she takes it off?

[venusfire503 54]

She told the girl that, yet is allowing her to take it off in the end? I don't understand.

As an aside, I remember clearly getting in trouble for taking down my braids in 2nd grade, and that's way less important than this situation.

No, she SHOULD have told her that, but didn't. And she told her that she could remove it, knowing that it was against the father's wishes.

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

I thought (from my understanding) that covering the hair didn't come about until a girl reached puberty. If a girl wears one before this time, it's purely her choice so why the big deal if she takes it off?

I thought that, too. In this case, though, the father specifically told her to wear it. The big deal, to me, is that the teacher is purposely and knowingly telling the girl to defy her father, and is going so far as to hide it from the father. The fact that she's also telling her to go against (her father's interpretation of) their religion makes it even worse.

The teacher knows it upsets the father, knows why the father wants her to wear it, yet continues to tell the girl she can remove it. I think it's wrong on so many levels, and is going to create many problems.

venusfire

[LaL 418]

Sorry, misread - got it now. Yes, I agree the teacher is in the wrong here. I am not sure why she would want to get involved in such a possible mess.

[Berber Mama 5]

Sorry, but I find it more disturbing that a father is forcing his 6 year old to wear hijab.

I can sympathize with the teacher. It's hard enough to get a 6 year old to keep focused and concentrate on their academics without having to worry about them taking a scarf off their head. If he is so religiously zealous why not put his child in an Islamic school?

[LaL 418]

Parents should be able to tell a six year old what to wear.

[Berber Mama 5]

I agree that the teacher should tell her that the father doesn't want it to be removed... but maybe the girl does it anyway? Children tend to have a mind of their own, not always doing what they are expected to do.

If it's so important that she wear it, then he should put her in a school where she is likely to see other girls wearing it and might want to keep it on her head.

[venusfire503 54]

Parents should be able to tell a six year old what to wear.

Yes, they should. And parents have more right to do so than a teacher.

Again, to me the worst part of this is that the teacher is teaching the child to disobey her father, and hide what she's doing from him.

venusfire

[nurse1967 287]

I don't think the teacher should get involved either way. It's not her responsibility to enforce wearing the hijab and it's not her responsibility to take it off of the girl either. Since this is clearly NOT due to religion (because Islam does not require hijab at that young age) I don't see where this lady is at fault. I agree with the other poster who said extremist dad should put his daughter in Islamic school.