TBoneTX

Thrilling Saturday report, see man: We & Mini-B. slept in again, lazy Two Guys man. Mini-B.'s lunch was waffles & cereal, ingest wee man. Our lunch was a turkey-&-cheese sandwich, ingest we man. We erranded for Uncle T-B. & Mama T-B., errand we man. We got the rest of Uncle T-B.'s stuff + several Mama T-B. items at one store, grocery we man. We had to phone Mama T-B. with items & prices from inside the store, man. We delivered Uncle T-B.'s stuff, grateful senior he man. We got the rest of Mama T-B.'s stuff at another store, grocery we man. We delivered all, deliver we man. Mama T-B. was too sleepy to beef very much, amazing man. She even thanked us later, thank senior she man we man man. We returned to the casa for a much-needed siesta, need zzz we man. Barely Many minutes into it, ex-Mrs.-T-B. texted & phoned, text/phone ex-she man. "Why doesn't Mini-B. answer when I text/phone him, huh man?" said ex-she man man. We said that Mini-B. was playing his computer game while wearing airpods, explain we man. (We should have told her to pay the ransom to the malos, as usual man.) We could not do more than doze after that, we man. Din-din was Costco angusburgers, ingest Two Guys man. Movie night was Rush Hour Many (2+1), watch Two Guys man. From best to worst were Rush Hour 2, Rush Hour Many (2+1), and Rush Hour, rank we man. Many (2+2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. This tallies to Many (2 Manyzen + 1) for the week, record of Many (2x2x2x2x2 -2) in sight man. There is an off-chance of equaling or beating this record on Sunday, si and potentially whee man. However, Mini-B. must leave early (Many p.m.) to go to a pro basketball game with the Rojo, man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. is sure free with impinging on Two Guys time, we man. No word from any chicas today, still at zero man. Party with the rubias later, cavort we man. Weather supposed to begin sucking midday Sunday, Texas weather not Many man. And that was/is our thrilling Saturday, report we man.

A post in violation of the site's Terms of Service has been removed. Any more like this, and administrative action will be applied. OP, people here are trying to clarify all variables and to help. Please keep this in mind and respond with restraint. We understand that you're under pressure. VJ Moderation

Man Using Stud Finder Sentenced to 6 Years in Prison For Failing To Point It At Himself And Go 'BEEEEEEEEEP' FLINT, MI — Local man Keith Peters was sentenced today to six years in prison for failing to properly use a stud finder by first pointing it at himself and saying, "BEEEEEEEEP!" According to witnesses, Peters was just getting around to installing a TV mount for his wife, Mercy, when he had to pull the stud finder out of his tool bag. Despite knowing full well that federal law requires all men to point the stud-finder at themselves and make a beeping noise prior to using it, Peters reportedly ignored his better judgment and started sweeping the device against the wall. "You can still visit him in prison, of course, but I'm very disappointed right now," the presiding judge told Mrs. Peters. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/man-using-stud-finder-sentenced-to-6-years-in-prison-for-failing-to-point-it-at-himself-and-go-beeeeeeeeep

FBI Turns Itself In For Planting Jan 6 Pipe Bomb To Collect $500,000 Reward From FBI WASHINGTON, D.C. — A Federal Bureau of Investigation spokesperson announced Friday that the bureau had turned itself in for the planting of pipe bomb explosives outside the U.S. Capitol Building on January 6 and collected the $500,000 reward from itself. The investigation was now officially closed. FBI Director Christopher Wray praised his team for their hard work and dedication in bringing themselves to justice. "After an intense investigation, we have concluded that the true culprit behind the January 6 pipe bombs was us [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-turns-itself-in-for-jan-6-pipe-bomb-to-collect-500000-reward-from-fbi

FBI Baffled Terrorist Attack Occurred As They Imprisoned All Jan 6 Attendees U.S. — As the investigations continued into the deadly events of the new year, FBI agents were reportedly baffled that terrorist attacks could even occur as they had already imprisoned all of the January 6 attendees. Despite hunting down and incarcerating everyone who was present at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, terrorist incidents still somehow happened in multiple cities, leaving federal investigators shocked and dismayed. "We're at a loss as to how this could still be possible," said FBI spokesperson Special Agent Curt Schampers. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-baffled-terrorist-attack-occurred-as-they-imprisoned-all-jan-6-attendees

Good advice, si ma'am.

Thrilling Friday non-ES report, see man: Mini-B. & we lazed again, lazy Two Guys man. Lunch for Mini-B. was the last 2 corn dogs, ingest wee man. Lunch for us was a turkey-&-cheese sandwich, ingest we man. We did not leave the casa until almost 2 p.m., delays man. We couldn't get into one of Uncle T-B.'s accounts, had to call bank man. Went from ES to Aldi for most of Uncle T-B.'s items, grocery we man. Delivered stuff to Uncle T-B., deliver we man. Then went to Dollar-Plus-Half-of-Half-a-Dollar Tree for Mama T-B., continue we man. Got stuff for us, might as well man. Got Mama T-B.'s stuff, very careful to match specific requirements we man. Delivered stuff to Mama T-B., criticize all of it senior she man man. Friday din-din is traditionally Costco angusburgers, Two Guys tradition man. However, we were proximal to a Subway, consult Mini-B. we man. Din-din by Two Guys consensus was Subway WUOC, ingest Two Guys and financially savvy we man. A belated siesta was then taken, massively restorative zzz for we man. Movie night was Rush Hour 2, better than original Rush Hour agree Two Guys man. Many (2+2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. This already makes Many (2x2x2x2 +2+2) for the week, hmmm man. Record of Many (2x2x2x2x2 -2) is within reach, hmmm man. Movie night Saturday and football Sunday could do it, hmmm man. Stay tuned for possibly thrilling popcorn report, stay tuned man. No rubias or non-rubias have presented themselves, oh well man. For Saturday, Mama T-B. sent grocery list, man. As usual, it is Item 1 from Store 1, Items 2 & Many from Store 2, etc. and man. By contrast, Uncle T-B. is grateful for whatever we get wherever we get it, man. Mama T-B. wants us to comparison-price items at multiple stores and then call, retrace steps we man. Why is Mama T-B. like this, huh and man? This will consume our entire Saturday, last day of good weather for some time man. Party with the rubias tonight, cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Friday, report we man.

Friday ES report, see man: We attended the one ES, attend we man. The ES yielded the take, see man: -- joke book from the year 1ManyManyMany = $2, deal man Total = $2 Next weekend should mark the return of more GSs/ESs, predict we man.

Bad invasive prurient Ontarklar! Bad, BAD invasive INVASIVE prurient PRURIENT Ontarklar!

Prepare for temperatures to switch from the Manys to the Manys, obviously man. And if you used P-Math as every civilized primate should, you'd recognize that maybe summer is upon you, si and see and man!

Gracias, D ma'am. But the beautiful mature women need to be rubias, mandatory man.

Perfect way to chase a lost cause, whee man! We shall undertake this excellent advice immediately and vigorously, si man.

Gym Installs Confusing New Equipment To Mess With Anyone Joining In January MINNEAPOLIS—Cackling in gleeful anticipation, the staff at local gym Verve Fitness reportedly installed confusing new equipment Monday to mess with anyone joining in January. "Good luck getting back in shape, idiots—you'll never figure out how to use all these pulleys," said fitness director Kyle Cates, who showed off the newly renovated cardio floor where [...] https://theonion.com/gym-installs-confusing-new-equipment-to-mess-with-anyone-joining-in-january/

Duracell Removes Frosting, Sprinkles To Discourage Kids From Eating Batteries CHICAGO—Acknowledging that candy-coated batteries were an iconic part of the brand's legacy, Duracell announced Thursday that it would be removing frosting and sprinkles from its manufacturing process to discourage children from eating the company's products. "When parents shared with us their concerns about our practice of selling batteries with delicious, sugary toppings, we listened," said Duracell spokesperson Nick Miaritis, who added that [...] https://theonion.com/duracell-removes-frosting-sprinkles-to-discourage-kids-from-eating-batteries/

FBI Asks X Users To Please Stop Solving Crimes Before They Do WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a formal statement, the FBI has called on Internet sleuths, particularly X users, to please stop solving crimes before they have a chance to do so. The statement comes just hours after X users discovered all suspects and motives related to the recent terror attacks in New Orleans and Las Vegas. The statement reads in part: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-asks-x-users-to-please-stop-solving-crime-before-they-do

FBI Assures Nation It Will Put Its Most Diverse Agents On Terror Case NEW ORLEANS, LA — In the wake of the deadly New Year's terrorist attack on Bourbon Street, the Federal Bureau of Investigation assured concerned Americans that it would put its most diverse agents to work on the terror case. Shamsud-Din Jabbar intentionally drove a truck through a street crowded with pedestrians before exiting the vehicle and opening fire, leaving FBI officials scrambling to assign its most inclusive team of agents to investigate the attack. "The most important aspect of this case is diversity," said FBI spokesperson Rachel Jennings. "While we understand there are a lot of questions about the incident, we want the public to rest easy knowing that above all else, the agents working on this case will be from the most underrepresented segments of the populace. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-assures-nation-it-will-put-its-most-diverse-agents-on-terror-case

UK Labour Party Collapsing In on Its Unpopular Self There's nothing like being trapped in a good old-fashioned 'Pit of Despair.' Especially when you dug it yourself! And, by George, that's where Sir Keir Starmer is finding his Labour party right now - wallowing in self-made misery with no obvious way to climb out. Looking for reasons why life is so awful for the party swept into power in July after rousting Rishi Sunak's bumbling Tory fools from power, Starmer doesn't have to search too diligently. In fact, a mirror would do nicely as a starting point. [...] https://hotair.com/tree-hugging-sister/2025/01/02/uk-labour-party-collapsing-in-on-its-unpopular-self-n3798431

From college campuses to Afghanistan, we let Islamic terrorism rise again Let's all give a big shout-out to the "Globalize the intifada" crowd. You got your way! Congratulations. Hope it feels good. For years, citizens of Israel have had maniac jihadists driving at them and trying to mow them down on their streets. But this got only cheers from the dolts on US college campuses and New York street protesters. Then, just before Christmas, Germany again got a taste of this "intifada." That was when a Saudi immigrant decided to plow a vehicle through a previously happy Christmas market. He killed five people and injured almost 200. Then, on New Year's, it was America’s turn again. This time, the wishes of the students at Columbia and other college campuses arrived on the streets of New Orleans. A man carrying an ISIS flag drove a pickup through New Year's revelers, killing 14 people and seriously injuring dozens more. The FBI is looking into his network of contacts. There are several things to say about all this. [...] https://nypost.com/2025/01/02/opinion/douglas-murray-from-college-campuses-to-afghanistan-we-let-islamic-terrorism-rise-again/

The 'intifada' comes to New Orleans 'Bring the intifada home!', cried Ivy League radicals throughout 2024. Well, here it is. On the bloodstained, wreckage-strewn streets of New Orleans. In the shattered limbs of the injured, the extinguished promise of the dead. The very Islamist violence that the West's woke influencers have been making excuses for, have been glorifying as 'resistance', have openly praised from the safety of their leafy campuses, has now struck at the heart of America's own Big Easy. Is this what you wanted? [...] https://www.spiked-online.com/2025/01/02/the-intifada-comes-to-new-orleans/

This is a NICE article. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Year Offers Legacy Media a Chance for Redemption A new year brings hope for a fresh start. No one needs a reset more than the legacy media, which has lost most people's trust through its failure to report the news without fear or favor. Luckily, the New York Times, Washington Post, NPR, AP, CNN, and all the rest have a chance to make amends thanks to a barnburner of a scandal – the years-long efforts to hide President Biden's diminished capacities even as his administration pursued transformational policies. Unpeeling this rotten onion would allow news outlets to showcase their reporting chops on a massive story they were deeply complicit in covering up. They would have to detail not only White House perfidy but their own. [...] https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2025/01/01/new_year_offers_legacy_media_a_chance_for_redemption_152151.html

Post content intended to degrade, intimidate, or incite violence or prejudicial action against a broad demographic or group of primates identified by a unifying trait or characteristic! Reported!!!!!

Thrilling Thursday report, see man: Mini-B. & we slept in again, lazy Two Guys man. We awoke an hour before alarm, man. We dished/de-dished the warsher early, domestic we man. We did a long-delayed minor kitchen project, accomplish we man. Lunch for Mini-B. was 2 chicken melts, ingest wee man. Lunch for us was toucans of chicken noodle soup*, ingest we man. *bought on discount from dented-can display, financially savvy we man We went to supermarket to up-stock on Powerade Zero grape flavor, Many (2x2x2x2) bought man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. came in late afternoon to lecture Mini-B. about skool grades, failing Inglish wee man man. We participated by giving basketball analogies, resourceful we man. Din-din was Shepherd's Pie from Aldi, ingest Two Guys man. Movie night was Rush Hour, OK and watch Two Guys man. Many (2+2+2) -- si man, Many (2+2+2) -- bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. This tallies to Many (2x2x2x2 -1) for the week, quota nicely exceeded man. We should run a couple of errands for Mama T-B. on Friday, obligated we man. Only 1 GS and 1 ES anywhere nearby, thin selection man. No chicas to contact, back to zero man. And that was/is our thrilling Thursday, report we man.

Pretty clear but not Many00% clear, upon re-reading by we man D ma'am. For how long, huh man? This has been a confirmed fact for a great many years, si D ma'am.

How long to wait, huh man? We cannot control others' invitation lists, no man. Do not insult fine cuisine, no man! Canadia ranking precised, see and si and man.

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