naire37

OP, first of all I'm really sorry it's taking such a long time for you! Once at NVC, things do move faster for all, hopefully so fast you can't even expedite it to go any faster. The part that you could "expedite" the most was the USCIS, but that's over for you, so the gains are not as much.
Also not to sound rude, but I think you should probably talk this over with her. She is going to find out if your request gets expedited, one way or another. Maybe even if you request an expedite and it's rejected, the officer may still ask! They ask all kinds of questions on the interview and this one would be a legit one.
And if at the interview the officer finds out you've omitted this part to her, this is going to come across as a huge, ugly red flag. Proving that your relationship is real while proposing 2 different stories to USCIS, Embassy and NVC is not a situation you want to be in.
Honestly, I realize that money questions are tough and uncomfortable for all parties involved! I totally know how it feels not wanting to hurt your loved one by bringing up money (especially medical costs). However, if you are unable or unwilling to have an open conversation with your partner about money, that in itself is a red flag. You will have to have those conversations once you live together, you know.
I strongly suggest against doing any kind of requests behind her back. Not only is it disrespectful to your partner (you refuse her having a voice in this decision), it is also incredibly risky when it come to telling the same story to the NVC and Embassy. If they catch you, you're in real hot waters; is it really worth it?

Texas is a lot more liberal than you think. It's their job to remain professional and you're likely not the first same sex relationship that they've seen. Just tell the truth

Living together will save them more money than paying two separate rent. They made need to think for another reason for living apart. Are they living in different cities.

You mentioned 3. That's hardly many. Few months back the same kind of post was made of Nigerian men. On any given day you can find any nationality post about their cheatin husband or wife, American or otherwise. It happens.
Your question really should be "why do people who say they love you cheat on you"? Irrespective of nationality.

OP, I do not mean to judge, just want to share my experience with you. All people are different, I don't know him or you well, each story is unique, so you'll know in yourself what to do. I believe people gave you great advice: wait and see if he cancels K1 at some point, and give him as much space as he needs in the meanwhile. It's not over until it's over - however, there are a few things that really speak against your fiance: the lies about being single, the long wait... So in the meanwhile mentally, actually, try thinking about yourself as a free person, with other things in your life than just this man.
Anyhow. Here is the deal.
I've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 years before meeting the current guy. It's not fourteen, but it's awful close. I've met my ex when I was 18, and we've dated all the way till 28. That was my first serious relationship. We agreed on moving in together once we both finish college, and then I get a job, and all that. It took a bit longer for the person to finish college. Then things got complicated a few times. Then the person said "I want to earn enough money to not be a liability for you in US", so I waited again - even though I was earning good money myself, I did not want to hurt their pride! Etc. Anyhow, those were all legit serious reasons for delays, or so I thought, but in the end it was just "I don't want to move to US unless everything is right between us and I don't feel like things are right", and things got too complicated, and we broke up.
It was horrible. It was my first relationship - same as you - and I had no idea how to live my life without actually having this master plan of having that person coming over to US and living with me. It wasn't even that we had that good of a relationship at the end, but I was terribly attached to having this plan in my head, this way of thinking that this is how my life is going to go, having this dream of how things should be. It was very sad and it took me almost a year to build up courage to follow through with breaking up and not keep begging the ex to come back.
However.
A year something later I've met a different person - the guy on my icon.
And at that point I knew I don't want to waste any time. And neither did he (he also had a very long 10+ long-distance relationship before that, that did not go anywhere). So we met once - a month after meeting online - and submitted the K1 after that. And, you know, just the sheer thrill of knowing that your fiance is willing to do things for you, as opposed to just speaking all the sweet things (but still making you put your life "on hold" for years) is still fresh and it feels ridiculously amazing.
Is the breakup horrible? Yes. Does it feel like the end of the world? Definitely. Do you have the feeling "OMG I've wasted my good years, I have to keep pushing, because this is the best I'm gonna get"? Oh yeah, I was worried sick about being 28 and not even knowing how to date. Does it have to build up in you, the tiredness to put up with the unfairness of the situation? It can take a year, easily. But deep inside you you probably know that the "single" lie was not fair - he lied and you got attached. And the current situation is not fair to you either. So think whether you'll be able to live with it or put up with whatever not fairness he may do next. Don't feel like you must be with him.
Oh, and last thing... I actually relate to "can't imagine myself in another man's bed". You see, the person I've dated for 10 years, my ex, was a girl. I could not imagine myself dating a guy. Yet... things happen, you know. When you are ready, things happen.
In the meanwhile, do take care of yourself, do give this guy a critical thought, and do, I guess, wait and see how it plays out. It may still work for you - people are amazing like that, it could be that he just got temporary cold feet. But if it doesn't work, a) you'll have some shoulders to cry on on this forum, I promise and b) you might be better off. healing is a long and sad process, but things work out in most amazing ways.
And yes, I'm still angry now - not at my ex, but at myself, for waiting 10 years. I could have gotten married and have kids and had a person I love falling asleep next to me every night. Those were good 10 years, but I should have probably figured out it was going nowhere sooner. Still, I don't look backwards and wish for them to come back and live that sweet fantasy again - I look forward to being with someone who actually gets things done and hopefully will be over in US in just a few months.
My best and warmest wishes to you, OP.

Why did you buy her a plane ticket right away? My wife when she first got here was VERY homesick and wanted to go home as well. We talked it out and I asked her to give it a couple months BEFORE she makes a decision to go home. I told her she needs to think this all out before she makes a rash decision like that. She has since got over her homesickness and loves it here in California.

We just got our NOA-2!!!!!!! Only 4 days after replying to RFE and exactly 2 months after NOA-1 date!!!!!!!! ?????????????????
So happy!!! Tried calling my fiance and the #=@*(*@& circuits are all busy!!!! Arch!!!! So frickin happy though!!!
Best of luck to all still waiting!!!
We just got our NOA-2!!!!!!! Only 4 days after replying to RFE and exactly 2 months after NOA-1 date!!!!!!!! ?????????????????
So happy!!! Tried calling my fiance and the #=@*(*@& circuits are all busy!!!! Argh!!!! So frickin happy though!!!
Best of luck to all still waiting!!!
So excited that I just screwed up that post!!! LOL

OP, the "blame" can certainly go both ways. You have spoken to her like an infantile disobedient child, whose whining has riled you up, so you blast and yell. It does not look good and it surely hurts her. You were rude and thereby probably wrong.
However, having said that - there are a couple of things I want to ask.
1) You probably know she can be childish by now. You say she doesn't work, she wants you to be online the whole day, etc. Does she have any plans to work? Or are you just going to provide and she will continue to do absolutely nothing for the whole day? Having no other things in live then you sounds a bit unhealthy, especially once she's in another country.
2) What does she think about kids, does she want any? Or would she be jealous of time, money and energy that you'd put into kids instead of her?
3) Is being apart the *only* thing she ever complains about? Or is it more like small things can get her really sad and then the whining continues, like "oh the connection is poor today and you can't see me well, that's so sad"?
Just going by those three, you should be able to figure out the most important question: how much of your attention do you think she will need once she's here, and will she be easily made unhappy here (given that there will be a lot more to whine about: missing family, lack of comfort food, you staying at work late)? Will the whining continue once she's here? After you honestly answer that for yourself, think if you can live with it. Maybe she's very good at other things, caring, kind, devoted, so it balances out and you still want to go through with it. Just don't automatically expect that it will ever get better once you're together.
People who whine like there is no tomorrow usually don't stop, they just find other reasons to continue this behavior, because this is how they learned to get attention, emotional support, and everything. It is possible, but very hard to switch a behavioral pattern. So think, if you have to live with this for the rest of your live, would it balance out?

OP, the "blame" can certainly go both ways. You have spoken to her like an infantile disobedient child, whose whining has riled you up, so you blast and yell. It does not look good and it surely hurts her. You were rude and thereby probably wrong.
However, having said that - there are a couple of things I want to ask.
1) You probably know she can be childish by now. You say she doesn't work, she wants you to be online the whole day, etc. Does she have any plans to work? Or are you just going to provide and she will continue to do absolutely nothing for the whole day? Having no other things in live then you sounds a bit unhealthy, especially once she's in another country.
2) What does she think about kids, does she want any? Or would she be jealous of time, money and energy that you'd put into kids instead of her?
3) Is being apart the *only* thing she ever complains about? Or is it more like small things can get her really sad and then the whining continues, like "oh the connection is poor today and you can't see me well, that's so sad"?
Just going by those three, you should be able to figure out the most important question: how much of your attention do you think she will need once she's here, and will she be easily made unhappy here (given that there will be a lot more to whine about: missing family, lack of comfort food, you staying at work late)? Will the whining continue once she's here? After you honestly answer that for yourself, think if you can live with it. Maybe she's very good at other things, caring, kind, devoted, so it balances out and you still want to go through with it. Just don't automatically expect that it will ever get better once you're together.
People who whine like there is no tomorrow usually don't stop, they just find other reasons to continue this behavior, because this is how they learned to get attention, emotional support, and everything. It is possible, but very hard to switch a behavioral pattern. So think, if you have to live with this for the rest of your live, would it balance out?

it would help to know where you are from. And your wife is from.
I take an opposite view than some of our members.
I think this is a very unreasonable woman, and just wants to "pick on you" regardless of the situation. It is just my opinion.
I personally, would not want to live with someone like this, I did once when married, and swore I would be single the rest of my life. My ex wife was like this. Or worse.
Then I accidentally met my, now, wife from the Philippines. We are very happy, because of the mutual respect and love we have for each other.
OP, I would be careful with this one. Could you live every day of your life with this kind of treatment, would this be any way to live?
I am just thinking of your well-being, as she is the un-happy one. Ask yourself, could you ever make her happy?

I think boiler is spot on, seems like she wants reassurances that when she gets here she will be living in the conditions she thinks that America is. Finding out what she thinks will be the key.
does she expect that she won't work and you give her an allowance or does she talk about work and/or education once she is here? Does she expect a house of a certain size? Does she expect you will either send money to her family back home or sponsor them?

You can translate it yourself if you are fluent in both languages. From http://www.uscis.gov/forms/forms-and-fees/general-tips-assembling-applications-mailing:
Please submit certified translations for all foreign language documents. The translator must certify that s/he is competent to translate and that the translation is accurate.

The certification format should include the certifier's name, signature, address, and date of certification. A suggested format is:

Certification by Translator

I [typed name], certify that I am fluent (conversant) in the English and ________ languages, and that the above/attached document is an accurate translation of the document attached entitled ______________________________.

Signature_________________________________
Date Typed Name
Address

It does not need to be notarized. Simply translate the document, and add the above certification statement at the bottom of your translation.

Why is your fiancé so evasive about who the mother is ? Why did he not tell you about the child from the beginning and why on earth did they all decide to persuade you at the airport to take the child instead of arranging it and discussing it the whole time you were there ? Is that really ok with you ? He seems to have hidden agendas revealed to you only 5 min before 12 ! That is ok with you ? Total lack of transparency which seems to intrigue you rather than be a warning sign.

You are insane. What happens if this child gets sick or needs emergency room care. You are not the guardian. Take her to her father NOW !!! or have her father come and get her NOW!!!. You are opening yourself up to all kinds of trouble. She is not a dog or toy you can just keep because you like her. You should be having second thoughts about your fiance. How dare he put you in such a situation. Oh my Gawg!!!!!! Oh and good luck with this one.

I would do more research and you'll see ALL cases are being sent to California at the moment. They are taking a little over a month for approval.

This whole thing is nerve wrecking and a mind blowing process. It needs a LOT of patience and understanding to both parties. Demands should be set aside and sacrifices are needed. It will be worth it once you've finished one step. Just always keep in mind the reason why you're both doing this. Both needs to be humble too and you both should understand that each one of you are suffering in a whole different level. This process is hanging on a thread that can break in any moment. You already have your NOA 2. That's one of the best things people in this process are waiting for. Hang in there. Best of luck!

Mine took 2 or 3 days before it actually showed up. I was kind of worried thinking maybe I was doing something wrong or had a wrong number, but it showed up within a few days. Once it said that it had shipped about a day later I was able to track the shipment with the DHL tracking tips posted at the beginning of this thread.

Please don't post suicide threats. Also, if you give your men any suicide threads, I can see why he gets cold feet. It's a scary and emotionally draining argument. If you take one piece of advice from this forum, just a single piece, please, please, please take this one:
DON'T GIVE PEOPLE SUICIDE THREATS.
People really don't like it. Not your fiance, and not anybody on this forum.
However, "To love a married man is wrong but I was deceived for 3 years before I knew the truth." - this speaks tonns to me in the whole moral argument. The man was wrong. It was also his decision to get involved while still being married. You were deep into the relationship before discovering the truth. The responsibility lies with him.

OP, I do not mean to judge, just want to share my experience with you. All people are different, I don't know him or you well, each story is unique, so you'll know in yourself what to do. I believe people gave you great advice: wait and see if he cancels K1 at some point, and give him as much space as he needs in the meanwhile. It's not over until it's over - however, there are a few things that really speak against your fiance: the lies about being single, the long wait... So in the meanwhile mentally, actually, try thinking about yourself as a free person, with other things in your life than just this man.
Anyhow. Here is the deal.
I've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 years before meeting the current guy. It's not fourteen, but it's awful close. I've met my ex when I was 18, and we've dated all the way till 28. That was my first serious relationship. We agreed on moving in together once we both finish college, and then I get a job, and all that. It took a bit longer for the person to finish college. Then things got complicated a few times. Then the person said "I want to earn enough money to not be a liability for you in US", so I waited again - even though I was earning good money myself, I did not want to hurt their pride! Etc. Anyhow, those were all legit serious reasons for delays, or so I thought, but in the end it was just "I don't want to move to US unless everything is right between us and I don't feel like things are right", and things got too complicated, and we broke up.
It was horrible. It was my first relationship - same as you - and I had no idea how to live my life without actually having this master plan of having that person coming over to US and living with me. It wasn't even that we had that good of a relationship at the end, but I was terribly attached to having this plan in my head, this way of thinking that this is how my life is going to go, having this dream of how things should be. It was very sad and it took me almost a year to build up courage to follow through with breaking up and not keep begging the ex to come back.
However.
A year something later I've met a different person - the guy on my icon.
And at that point I knew I don't want to waste any time. And neither did he (he also had a very long 10+ long-distance relationship before that, that did not go anywhere). So we met once - a month after meeting online - and submitted the K1 after that. And, you know, just the sheer thrill of knowing that your fiance is willing to do things for you, as opposed to just speaking all the sweet things (but still making you put your life "on hold" for years) is still fresh and it feels ridiculously amazing.
Is the breakup horrible? Yes. Does it feel like the end of the world? Definitely. Do you have the feeling "OMG I've wasted my good years, I have to keep pushing, because this is the best I'm gonna get"? Oh yeah, I was worried sick about being 28 and not even knowing how to date. Does it have to build up in you, the tiredness to put up with the unfairness of the situation? It can take a year, easily. But deep inside you you probably know that the "single" lie was not fair - he lied and you got attached. And the current situation is not fair to you either. So think whether you'll be able to live with it or put up with whatever not fairness he may do next. Don't feel like you must be with him.
Oh, and last thing... I actually relate to "can't imagine myself in another man's bed". You see, the person I've dated for 10 years, my ex, was a girl. I could not imagine myself dating a guy. Yet... things happen, you know. When you are ready, things happen.
In the meanwhile, do take care of yourself, do give this guy a critical thought, and do, I guess, wait and see how it plays out. It may still work for you - people are amazing like that, it could be that he just got temporary cold feet. But if it doesn't work, a) you'll have some shoulders to cry on on this forum, I promise and b) you might be better off. healing is a long and sad process, but things work out in most amazing ways.
And yes, I'm still angry now - not at my ex, but at myself, for waiting 10 years. I could have gotten married and have kids and had a person I love falling asleep next to me every night. Those were good 10 years, but I should have probably figured out it was going nowhere sooner. Still, I don't look backwards and wish for them to come back and live that sweet fantasy again - I look forward to being with someone who actually gets things done and hopefully will be over in US in just a few months.
My best and warmest wishes to you, OP.

This is VisaJourney and has been the most supportive and helpful website from all the members that help with this very serious and difficult as well as long process. The op asked a question that deserved an answer and as pertaining to the k1 visa.
The rest of the judgements are not helpful nor conducive to the subject here on VisaJourney. Also requesting some help for op from moderators on this thread.

OP, I do not mean to judge, just want to share my experience with you. All people are different, I don't know him or you well, each story is unique, so you'll know in yourself what to do. I believe people gave you great advice: wait and see if he cancels K1 at some point, and give him as much space as he needs in the meanwhile. It's not over until it's over - however, there are a few things that really speak against your fiance: the lies about being single, the long wait... So in the meanwhile mentally, actually, try thinking about yourself as a free person, with other things in your life than just this man.
Anyhow. Here is the deal.
I've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 years before meeting the current guy. It's not fourteen, but it's awful close. I've met my ex when I was 18, and we've dated all the way till 28. That was my first serious relationship. We agreed on moving in together once we both finish college, and then I get a job, and all that. It took a bit longer for the person to finish college. Then things got complicated a few times. Then the person said "I want to earn enough money to not be a liability for you in US", so I waited again - even though I was earning good money myself, I did not want to hurt their pride! Etc. Anyhow, those were all legit serious reasons for delays, or so I thought, but in the end it was just "I don't want to move to US unless everything is right between us and I don't feel like things are right", and things got too complicated, and we broke up.
It was horrible. It was my first relationship - same as you - and I had no idea how to live my life without actually having this master plan of having that person coming over to US and living with me. It wasn't even that we had that good of a relationship at the end, but I was terribly attached to having this plan in my head, this way of thinking that this is how my life is going to go, having this dream of how things should be. It was very sad and it took me almost a year to build up courage to follow through with breaking up and not keep begging the ex to come back.
However.
A year something later I've met a different person - the guy on my icon.
And at that point I knew I don't want to waste any time. And neither did he (he also had a very long 10+ long-distance relationship before that, that did not go anywhere). So we met once - a month after meeting online - and submitted the K1 after that. And, you know, just the sheer thrill of knowing that your fiance is willing to do things for you, as opposed to just speaking all the sweet things (but still making you put your life "on hold" for years) is still fresh and it feels ridiculously amazing.
Is the breakup horrible? Yes. Does it feel like the end of the world? Definitely. Do you have the feeling "OMG I've wasted my good years, I have to keep pushing, because this is the best I'm gonna get"? Oh yeah, I was worried sick about being 28 and not even knowing how to date. Does it have to build up in you, the tiredness to put up with the unfairness of the situation? It can take a year, easily. But deep inside you you probably know that the "single" lie was not fair - he lied and you got attached. And the current situation is not fair to you either. So think whether you'll be able to live with it or put up with whatever not fairness he may do next. Don't feel like you must be with him.
Oh, and last thing... I actually relate to "can't imagine myself in another man's bed". You see, the person I've dated for 10 years, my ex, was a girl. I could not imagine myself dating a guy. Yet... things happen, you know. When you are ready, things happen.
In the meanwhile, do take care of yourself, do give this guy a critical thought, and do, I guess, wait and see how it plays out. It may still work for you - people are amazing like that, it could be that he just got temporary cold feet. But if it doesn't work, a) you'll have some shoulders to cry on on this forum, I promise and b) you might be better off. healing is a long and sad process, but things work out in most amazing ways.
And yes, I'm still angry now - not at my ex, but at myself, for waiting 10 years. I could have gotten married and have kids and had a person I love falling asleep next to me every night. Those were good 10 years, but I should have probably figured out it was going nowhere sooner. Still, I don't look backwards and wish for them to come back and live that sweet fantasy again - I look forward to being with someone who actually gets things done and hopefully will be over in US in just a few months.
My best and warmest wishes to you, OP.

Please don't post suicide threats. Also, if you give your men any suicide threads, I can see why he gets cold feet. It's a scary and emotionally draining argument. If you take one piece of advice from this forum, just a single piece, please, please, please take this one:
DON'T GIVE PEOPLE SUICIDE THREATS.
People really don't like it. Not your fiance, and not anybody on this forum.
However, "To love a married man is wrong but I was deceived for 3 years before I knew the truth." - this speaks tonns to me in the whole moral argument. The man was wrong. It was also his decision to get involved while still being married. You were deep into the relationship before discovering the truth. The responsibility lies with him.

Please don't post suicide threats. Also, if you give your men any suicide threads, I can see why he gets cold feet. It's a scary and emotionally draining argument. If you take one piece of advice from this forum, just a single piece, please, please, please take this one:
DON'T GIVE PEOPLE SUICIDE THREATS.
People really don't like it. Not your fiance, and not anybody on this forum.
However, "To love a married man is wrong but I was deceived for 3 years before I knew the truth." - this speaks tonns to me in the whole moral argument. The man was wrong. It was also his decision to get involved while still being married. You were deep into the relationship before discovering the truth. The responsibility lies with him.

OP, I do not mean to judge, just want to share my experience with you. All people are different, I don't know him or you well, each story is unique, so you'll know in yourself what to do. I believe people gave you great advice: wait and see if he cancels K1 at some point, and give him as much space as he needs in the meanwhile. It's not over until it's over - however, there are a few things that really speak against your fiance: the lies about being single, the long wait... So in the meanwhile mentally, actually, try thinking about yourself as a free person, with other things in your life than just this man.
Anyhow. Here is the deal.
I've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 years before meeting the current guy. It's not fourteen, but it's awful close. I've met my ex when I was 18, and we've dated all the way till 28. That was my first serious relationship. We agreed on moving in together once we both finish college, and then I get a job, and all that. It took a bit longer for the person to finish college. Then things got complicated a few times. Then the person said "I want to earn enough money to not be a liability for you in US", so I waited again - even though I was earning good money myself, I did not want to hurt their pride! Etc. Anyhow, those were all legit serious reasons for delays, or so I thought, but in the end it was just "I don't want to move to US unless everything is right between us and I don't feel like things are right", and things got too complicated, and we broke up.
It was horrible. It was my first relationship - same as you - and I had no idea how to live my life without actually having this master plan of having that person coming over to US and living with me. It wasn't even that we had that good of a relationship at the end, but I was terribly attached to having this plan in my head, this way of thinking that this is how my life is going to go, having this dream of how things should be. It was very sad and it took me almost a year to build up courage to follow through with breaking up and not keep begging the ex to come back.
However.
A year something later I've met a different person - the guy on my icon.
And at that point I knew I don't want to waste any time. And neither did he (he also had a very long 10+ long-distance relationship before that, that did not go anywhere). So we met once - a month after meeting online - and submitted the K1 after that. And, you know, just the sheer thrill of knowing that your fiance is willing to do things for you, as opposed to just speaking all the sweet things (but still making you put your life "on hold" for years) is still fresh and it feels ridiculously amazing.
Is the breakup horrible? Yes. Does it feel like the end of the world? Definitely. Do you have the feeling "OMG I've wasted my good years, I have to keep pushing, because this is the best I'm gonna get"? Oh yeah, I was worried sick about being 28 and not even knowing how to date. Does it have to build up in you, the tiredness to put up with the unfairness of the situation? It can take a year, easily. But deep inside you you probably know that the "single" lie was not fair - he lied and you got attached. And the current situation is not fair to you either. So think whether you'll be able to live with it or put up with whatever not fairness he may do next. Don't feel like you must be with him.
Oh, and last thing... I actually relate to "can't imagine myself in another man's bed". You see, the person I've dated for 10 years, my ex, was a girl. I could not imagine myself dating a guy. Yet... things happen, you know. When you are ready, things happen.
In the meanwhile, do take care of yourself, do give this guy a critical thought, and do, I guess, wait and see how it plays out. It may still work for you - people are amazing like that, it could be that he just got temporary cold feet. But if it doesn't work, a) you'll have some shoulders to cry on on this forum, I promise and b) you might be better off. healing is a long and sad process, but things work out in most amazing ways.
And yes, I'm still angry now - not at my ex, but at myself, for waiting 10 years. I could have gotten married and have kids and had a person I love falling asleep next to me every night. Those were good 10 years, but I should have probably figured out it was going nowhere sooner. Still, I don't look backwards and wish for them to come back and live that sweet fantasy again - I look forward to being with someone who actually gets things done and hopefully will be over in US in just a few months.
My best and warmest wishes to you, OP.

OP, I do not mean to judge, just want to share my experience with you. All people are different, I don't know him or you well, each story is unique, so you'll know in yourself what to do. I believe people gave you great advice: wait and see if he cancels K1 at some point, and give him as much space as he needs in the meanwhile. It's not over until it's over - however, there are a few things that really speak against your fiance: the lies about being single, the long wait... So in the meanwhile mentally, actually, try thinking about yourself as a free person, with other things in your life than just this man.
Anyhow. Here is the deal.
I've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 years before meeting the current guy. It's not fourteen, but it's awful close. I've met my ex when I was 18, and we've dated all the way till 28. That was my first serious relationship. We agreed on moving in together once we both finish college, and then I get a job, and all that. It took a bit longer for the person to finish college. Then things got complicated a few times. Then the person said "I want to earn enough money to not be a liability for you in US", so I waited again - even though I was earning good money myself, I did not want to hurt their pride! Etc. Anyhow, those were all legit serious reasons for delays, or so I thought, but in the end it was just "I don't want to move to US unless everything is right between us and I don't feel like things are right", and things got too complicated, and we broke up.
It was horrible. It was my first relationship - same as you - and I had no idea how to live my life without actually having this master plan of having that person coming over to US and living with me. It wasn't even that we had that good of a relationship at the end, but I was terribly attached to having this plan in my head, this way of thinking that this is how my life is going to go, having this dream of how things should be. It was very sad and it took me almost a year to build up courage to follow through with breaking up and not keep begging the ex to come back.
However.
A year something later I've met a different person - the guy on my icon.
And at that point I knew I don't want to waste any time. And neither did he (he also had a very long 10+ long-distance relationship before that, that did not go anywhere). So we met once - a month after meeting online - and submitted the K1 after that. And, you know, just the sheer thrill of knowing that your fiance is willing to do things for you, as opposed to just speaking all the sweet things (but still making you put your life "on hold" for years) is still fresh and it feels ridiculously amazing.
Is the breakup horrible? Yes. Does it feel like the end of the world? Definitely. Do you have the feeling "OMG I've wasted my good years, I have to keep pushing, because this is the best I'm gonna get"? Oh yeah, I was worried sick about being 28 and not even knowing how to date. Does it have to build up in you, the tiredness to put up with the unfairness of the situation? It can take a year, easily. But deep inside you you probably know that the "single" lie was not fair - he lied and you got attached. And the current situation is not fair to you either. So think whether you'll be able to live with it or put up with whatever not fairness he may do next. Don't feel like you must be with him.
Oh, and last thing... I actually relate to "can't imagine myself in another man's bed". You see, the person I've dated for 10 years, my ex, was a girl. I could not imagine myself dating a guy. Yet... things happen, you know. When you are ready, things happen.
In the meanwhile, do take care of yourself, do give this guy a critical thought, and do, I guess, wait and see how it plays out. It may still work for you - people are amazing like that, it could be that he just got temporary cold feet. But if it doesn't work, a) you'll have some shoulders to cry on on this forum, I promise and b) you might be better off. healing is a long and sad process, but things work out in most amazing ways.
And yes, I'm still angry now - not at my ex, but at myself, for waiting 10 years. I could have gotten married and have kids and had a person I love falling asleep next to me every night. Those were good 10 years, but I should have probably figured out it was going nowhere sooner. Still, I don't look backwards and wish for them to come back and live that sweet fantasy again - I look forward to being with someone who actually gets things done and hopefully will be over in US in just a few months.
My best and warmest wishes to you, OP.