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confused999

Stress of the Visa Process Wrecking Our Relationship

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I have been monitoring the forums for awhile and thank you to everyone for your helpful information. This is my first time posting.

My finance and I have been engaged for 6 months prior to filing for her VISA. I am in the USA and she is in the Philippines. We recently received our NOA2 and waiting on our case number. However we have not seen each other in 2 months and all of the stress of the visa process is really straining our relationship. We went from talking hours every day to now just a couple messages a day and it is seems the only thing we are discussing is the screwed up VISA process. Almost every night I think about just giving up on this process and withdrawing the petition. I seriously dislike the US government for what it is doing with all this visa nonsense to be with someone you love when there are 10 million illegals already in the country !

I am so confused right now.... Has anyone else felt this way or their relationship started fall apart during the visa process as I am really starting to wonder if it is really worth it and what have I gotten myself into... Anyone who has been through this and willing to share some experiences or advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You

Edited by confused999

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Try to remember the reason you filed in the first place, to be together.

I think everyones relationships have ups and downs but you've just got to try and make the time and ignore the process.

I know before the noa 2 for us i was an absolute nightmare stressing out getting upset and wandering if it'll ever happen

but as long as you talk it out and remember the reason why you're doing it

it'll all work out in the end :)

just think it'll be a crazy story to tell the kids

!

but if you withdraw you'll only do the forms some other time or be living in the shadows instead of really enjoying all the possibilities together fully!


Date Filed : November 12th

NOA : November 16th

Biometrics : December 7th

Approved EAD&AP : January 29th

Card Mailed : February 2nd
Received Card : February 5th


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Please see my timeline. Patience and understanding is what will see this through. Not easy but that is all I can say.


:yes:Intelligence trumps muscle... Imagination trumps both! :yes:

IR-1/CR-1 Visa
Service Center : Nebraska Service Center
Consulate : Cd. Juarez, Mexico
Met: January, 2006 :D
Marriage (if applicable): 2012-10-26 (L)
I-130 Sent : 2014-08-01
I-130 NOA1 : 2014-08-04

I-130 NOA2 : 2015-05-14

Shipped to DoS: 2015-05-22

Received at NVC: 2015-06-01

Case Created at NVC: 2015-06-10 (from Julian Date calculation)

AOS and IV Fee Invoiced: 2015-06-11
AOS and IV Fee Paid: Website down as of 06-15... Just waiting...
AOS and IV Fee Paid: 2015-07-05 CEAC site finally UP! :dancing:

AOS and Civil Docs received at NVC: 2015-10-13

NVC checklist for obsolete i864: 2015-11-25

Submit updated i864: ?????? when my lawyer desires... :clock:
Submit updated i864: Did NOT wait for lawywer. Did it myself 2015-12-10
NVC received reply to checklist i864: 2015-12-10 (yes.. same day O.O)

NVC case completed: 2016-01-07
NVC assigned interview date: 2016-01-23
Interview at CJS consulate: 2016-03-30

Visa "Issued": 2016-04-05
Entered the US: 2016-04-27

SSN Arrived: 2016-05-07 ... wow TEN days!

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This whole thing is nerve wrecking and a mind blowing process. It needs a LOT of patience and understanding to both parties. Demands should be set aside and sacrifices are needed. It will be worth it once you've finished one step. Just always keep in mind the reason why you're both doing this. Both needs to be humble too and you both should understand that each one of you are suffering in a whole different level. This process is hanging on a thread that can break in any moment. You already have your NOA 2. That's one of the best things people in this process are waiting for. Hang in there. Best of luck!


And all those things I didn't say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this time

- Fight Song by Rachel Platten

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Patience is a virtue.. I am from the Philippines also & my husband is in USA.. I know how frustrating it is when it comes to preparing, submitting & waiting for documents.. Right now, we are few steps away to be together.. Keep the faith!

The longer you wait fOr sOmething,the mOre you appReciate it when you get it..

because anything wOrth having is definiteLy wOrth waiting fOr..


USCIS:

January 28, 2015 - I-130 Sent

February 3, 2015 - I-130 NOA1

April 2, 2015 - I-130 NOA2

NVC:

April 13, 2015 – NVC Received

April 29, 2015 – Case Number Assigned

May 2, 2015 – Completed DS261

May 12, 2015 – AOS Fee Paid

XXXXXXXX – IV Fee (Not yet Available, Waiting!!!)

May 16, 2015 – AOS & Other Documents Sent

May 18, 2015 – NVC Received our Documents ( 30 Days for Review)

June 07, 2015 – Received IV Fee Invoice

June 15, 2015 - IV Fee Paid

June 19, 2015- NVC Received IV Fee

July 04, 2015- Completed DS 260

Aug 07, 2015- Case Completed

Aug 18, 2015- Medical at SLEC Passed:)

Sept 22, 2015- Interview (Approved:)

Sept 26, 2015- Visa Received

Sept 27, 2015- POE (Atlanta)

(F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F) (F)

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I have been monitoring the forums for awhile and thank you to everyone for your helpful information. This is my first time posting.

My finance and I have been engaged for 6 months prior to filing for her VISA. I am in the USA and she is in the Philippines. We recently received our NOA2 and waiting on our case number. However we have not seen each other in 2 months and all of the stress of the visa process is really straining our relationship. We went from talking hours every day to now just a couple messages a day and it is seems the only thing we are discussing is the screwed up VISA process. Almost every night I think about just giving up on this process and withdrawing the petition. I seriously dislike the US government for what it is doing with all this visa nonsense to be with someone you love when there are 10 million illegals already in the country !

I am so confused right now.... Has anyone else felt this way or their relationship started fall apart during the visa process as I am really starting to wonder if it is really worth it and what have I gotten myself into... Anyone who has been through this and willing to share some experiences or advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You

I have been there and done that. Time to withdraw the petition and return to Philippines and look for someone more compatible.......

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Hello there,

Ofcourse this whole visa process is very stressful for each party and thus straining on the relationship. I experience it too and especially during the beginning of the process my husband and I were fighting a lot. I felt he wasn't doing his best to quickly gather all documents needed and he felt he wanted to do it thoroughly so we wouldn't get an RFE or make mistakes filing in the documents. We were just on a different page. Not blaming each other and keeping an open communication is very important. Also, talk about other stuff than the process. Learn to get to know each other. You CANNOT hold each other, so you HAVE to talk. See it as the perfect situation to dig in each others brain and find out each others likes, do's and don'ts, past memories and future plans.

we rarely talk about the visa process, only when absolutely needed and we still tend to get agrivated discussing that topic.

Do NOT go radio silent on each other. Even when you're mad at the other person. You have to decide for yourself: do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

So even if you think the other is to blame for that particular fight, decide if you wanna stay mad or do you wanna say sorry first.

May I ask how long you are in the process? We are at nvc now and at this point we've been in the process for 10 months, starting at NOA1 by uscis on August 11 2014. I already accepted that the given estimated processing times are bs. So instead of being agrivated about it, I make up my own estimate and make sure I built in enough time so it can only be better when my Case Complete arrives sooner. ☺

If you get thru this together, you know you can take on the world. For now it is just another hurdle to be together.


We met in 2002, dated and were torn apart in 2003and we reconnected end of 2013

I married the love of my life (L) : March 21, 2014

We sent in our I-130 package to USCIS: August 8, 2014

USCIS received I-130: August 11, 2014

USCIS approves our case: February 10, 2015

USCIS sends case to NVC: February 18, 2015

NVC welcome letter + email received: March 10, 2015 - date on letter March 3, 2015

NVC assigned case number: March 1, 2015

DS-261 filed: March 10, 2015

AOS fee payed online: March 10, 2015

NVC confirmation letter for choice of agent being registered: May 5, 2015 - received this letter thru email on May 7, 2014 and again via letter/email May 8, 2015

IV bill received: May 7 and May 8, 2015 (together with letter ds261 review confirmation)

Send in AOS an IV package: May 6, 2015

Payed IV bill thru money order: May 8, 2015

Email from NVC with letter of acceptance of AOS and IV package: May 15, 2015 (processing time: at least 60 days)

Scan date: May 12, 2015

NVC cashed money order IV bill fee: May 15, 2015

Received confirmation letter thru email that IV fee is received: May19, 2015 - date in letter May 15, 2015

Received checklist: June 22,2015 - date on checklist June 19,2015

New scan date checklist: June 24, 2015 (processing time: 30 days)

Filed DS260: July 7, 2015

Case Complete: July 21, 2015!!!!!!

Receives confirmation of case complete on August 1, 2015

Received interview letter on August 11, 2015

Medical: September 9, 2015

Interview date: September 24, 2015

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First you have to figure out if you want to do everything possible to make it work or not. If not, then end things, withdraw the petition and move on.

If you do want to make it work, you have to find time together to reconnect. Distance and the waiting affects us all. You are not the only one struggling. But if you really want to make it work, dedicate more time to messaging and skyping. Build that connection back. If it doesn't come back, then that's a sign. But you gotta try.

I also want to note that just because you don't speak as much as you used doesn't necessarily mean doom for your relationship. We're all different. Some people on here speak to their fiance/spouse for hours a day on the phone or skype. Daniel and I only videochat once or twice a week these days. We text all throughout the day though. We used to skype every single day but have gradually evolved into this. It works for us. You have to find what works for you and not measure against what works for others.

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I have been monitoring the forums for awhile and thank you to everyone for your helpful information. This is my first time posting.

My finance and I have been engaged for 6 months prior to filing for her VISA. I am in the USA and she is in the Philippines. We recently received our NOA2 and waiting on our case number. However we have not seen each other in 2 months and all of the stress of the visa process is really straining our relationship. We went from talking hours every day to now just a couple messages a day and it is seems the only thing we are discussing is the screwed up VISA process. Almost every night I think about just giving up on this process and withdrawing the petition. I seriously dislike the US government for what it is doing with all this visa nonsense to be with someone you love when there are 10 million illegals already in the country !

I am so confused right now.... Has anyone else felt this way or their relationship started fall apart during the visa process as I am really starting to wonder if it is really worth it and what have I gotten myself into... Anyone who has been through this and willing to share some experiences or advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You

if she can't handle being apart now marriage will present a lot more problems than this.

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Don't give up. If you truely love this lady you will fight until the bitter very sweet end. My wife and I only have our NOA1 and we are patiently waiting for the rest of the process. It will be worth the wait. I will not give up on my sweet wife and she is in the Philippines. Take a trip there if you need to. Just a thought.

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What you have to remember and keep in mind is the reward in the end, being together. Certainly you can put up with a little inconvenience right right. I am sure your eyes are bulging at the use of my phrase "little inconvenience", but that's exactly what it is. Compared to what your reward is, spending the rest of your life together, right now what your suffering is "very little". You said you were separated for two months, well, I was separated for 11 months before I seen my fiance again. We have now just passed our 5 year wedding anniversary this past March. Remember, you are not only being strong for yourself, but you are also being strong for your fiance. You yourself are not the only one your are supporting. How is your fiance to remain strong in this process without you? You both should have each others backs, lean on each other to get through this process. Yes, I know and remember it's not easy, and I haven't forgotten. But just remain strong, think of the rewards, focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, and support each other. This is not an "I" moment, it's a "we" moment right now. And you both needs each other's support. I wish you both all the best. (lol I was trying to edit myself, not quote myself!)

Edited by MouadsWife

“You cannot enter heaven until you believe, and you will not truly believe until you (truly) love one another.” [Muslim, Al-Iman (Faith); 93]

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