Mark&GinaW

my question is, why are you on an immigration website asking dating advice?

You are under no obligation to her. You are not really tangled at all--especially compared to her husband.

Run. Fast.

Got married last Halloween, still waiting

Scan date is the day your documents are logged in the NVC system.
You have to call NVC to find it out...

If he's abusing you like that, why are you even living in the same place as him? Getting away from him should be your concern. And you don't file the ROC, the immigrant files the ROC. They can file with your cooperation or not. Although filing without requires an abuse complaint from him about you, or a divorce decree. You should be worrying about your safety, not about his status right now.

How about you make a timeline and/or list in a post all the dates you have starting from marriage. That way we can tell you if you're really in such a time crunch as you think you are.

Uscis documents don't require signatures. Usps loses mails everyday so there will be no lawsuit considered.

It sounds like she just doesn't care

I say take the offer to be in Madison each day,
and when yer not doing stuff (ESL, driving class, etc) then
hang out at the Madison Chamber of Commerce each day,
volunteering ...
you'll meet business owners in a non-job-hiring event, daily, and
when come time to actually chase a job,
they'll remember you !!!

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Am i the only one who noticed this here?
Maybe common sense classes would be better for you. If you can talk about sucking a cow udder i don't think you need english classes at this point...
Agreed !!

1. Your level of flexibility is expressed here in neon lights.
2. This is at least the second time that you've said this.
3. He's suggesting very valid alternatives that you're rejecting out of hand.
4. He's accurate again.
5. Why? Where is the pressure coming from?
6. You don't really love him. If you did, you'd want to be with him anywhere, and you would care that his daughter loves their cats.
7. Break it off now, immediately and permanently. You clearly say, "I like to have my own life [...] that's what makes me happy."

Diane79,
Twice, you mentioned your potential intent to work illegally upon your arrival to the U.S. Such statements would normally risk the closure of this thread, at minimum. However, they seem to be part of your overall fears about being removed from your comfort zone. (Another VJ Moderator's opinion might differ.)
[Moderator hat off]
The two key lines from your post that stand out are:
and.One way to overcome being childish and stubborn is to view the different environment not as a state of exile, but as an opportunity to broaden your experience of life. Rather than trying to engineer a large situation to fit your current views of "how things should be," resolve to become more flexible, and to reward yourself when you're in that environment and overcome a challenge or a personal fear.The "he really doesn't understand me" is worrisome. We here have no way of knowing your respective communication styles, or your respective relationship histories, but you're expressing a far deeper concern than there should be about the extremely fundamental issue of "lifestyle compatibility."
Finally, you can't accurately refer to him as your fiancé if he's not even legally divorced yet.
I respectfully suggest that you wait beyond December -- perhaps many months -- before deciding to file any petition. There seems to be much fundamental mutual learning that needs to occur before you can decide whether you're a compatible couple at all, let alone compatible and flexible enough to be a married couple.

You said:"I just see myself 5 months locked in a house doing nothing but sleeping or watching tv." In my opinion, this is just a tunnel vision and contradicts with what you mentioned "I dont like to be lazy all the time." Why not help your future husband take care of housework around your house. I am a homeowner and I know that taking care of a house can take more time than a full-time job does. Why not improve your English skills in those 5 months by memorizing vocabularies, reading books, listening to podcasts, etc.? I myself am also an immigrant and I know that taking English classes alone is far from sufficient to improve your English. It takes tons of readings, listening and speaking English outside the English classes to make your English fluent.
My fiancée is from a mega city with the population of about 30 million and I live in a rural area with the population of less than 100 thousand. She also will have to stay home for quite a while after she arrives. I told her about this situation many times before filing my K-1 and she well understands the potential isolation. If you are already unhappy before filing K-1, don’t file. If you do, it will only hurt both parties in the end, as marriage is not only about love, it is also about compromise and sacrifice.

I live in Milwaukee and moving to Watertown about I think 20min from where your at in waterloo... did you know you couldn't work before you left? did you know that you would have to depend on him until you get on your own feet? did you know things might be different before you came? just wondering if you guys talked about all that? I know when people are in love they forget about talking about life in general and so focused on " I love you' " I want to be with you" but marriage is not the wedding day...its the day after..... so for me I think its just something that's temp, I since its temp and marriage is life long I wouldn't make a huge argument on temp things ...before you know it you'll be on your own, driving your own car, working, being busy! one thing America will have you is busy! lol ... so I say take this time and relax.. enjoy your peace and quite. enjoy your alone time... before you know it you will be to busy to eat! and making friends is easy.. yes Madison is far from where you are trust I know we drive up there every Sunday. but maybe it can be a give and take.. when he is off work take time out and go drive up there or drive down town and im sure you will meet new ppl! I was there on Saturday in Watertown walked into a store and just met someone new.. they are friendly ppl in your town. Easy to make friends...I say don't stress enjoy your stay in America ...hope this helped if not sorry

IMHO, consider calling off the engagement and not marrying him. Your post is filled with scenarios that you believe will make you unhappy. You mention your fiance a couple of times and associated with the expectation of a bad experience. It seems obvious he won't change his lifestyle for you and expects you to make all the concessions. IMHO this is a recipe for a very unhappy marriage.
I don't mean to be insensitive or cruel and I apologize if that's how I sound, but it seems there is nothing in this relationship for you. Pragmatically, people need far more than love to make a happy union.
Good luck whatever your decision.

no one cares about you or your application. If you were illegal it would be a national issue on CNBC. Go figure. I feel your frustration. We need a lobby group in Washington.

Getting citizenship based on the 3-year rule while planning to get divorced afterward is by definition, immigration fraud.

She was never married to the father of her children.......a Filipino citizen is not legally allowed to divorce their spouse. Hence the fact that she needs to gain her US citizenship, because her current status does not allow her to divorce her husband.

You need to consider all the consequences to all the persons involved. Your children miss their dad which is normal but they will also miss their new father. How will you explain to them the separation from the real dad, the integration with a new dad, and then the loss of the new dad? And how will your now husband feel when you file for divorce right after you receive citizenship. Of course he will feel like you used him, especially when he finds out you are going to marry your ex boyfriend. And what about the year or more to get your ex to the US? Will you uproot the children again and move to the Philippines while you wait for the visa process to finish? Will you act as a single mom supporting your children while you wait for the process to bring your ex? And what about your feelings? You say it is a real marriage to your now husband so how will it affect you to divorce someone you say you love to marry someone you didn't love, I guess this since you never married him and married someone else. While your concern for your children's feelings are real you need to look at the long-term picture and everyone who is involved.
What will happen if immigration denies the dad's visa? What will you and the children do then? Or even worse what if they decide you committed visa fraud and strip you and the children of your citizenship/green cards and deport you?
I am in no way advocating you remain married to your spouse if you do not love him. I am just suggesting you look at everything.
Now to the immigration issue. There is a very likely chance they will not grant your ex a visa, either K-1 or CR-1, due to the circumstances as have already been pointed out. You having two children with him, married a USC, divorced the USC right after you gained citizenship, petitioned your ex....it all smells of immigration fraud.

Wow....I don't mean to judge you or your situation, but the way you painted your picture makes it sound as if you had this planned out from the beginning.
Also, what are you going to state to the judge for reason for divorce???
The only reason you give for wanting a divorce is to marry your ex.....

I wonder if a sham is in process?

Expect problems, because on the surface it looks like you married an American in order to evade immigration law and facilitate your children's father's entrance into the US.
Does your current husband know you are planning to divorce him? In order to naturalise under the three year rule you must be living together with your US citizen spouse in a true marital union.

Congratulations with the progress :thumbs: I wish you a smooth and easy sail thru the immigration process.

Wow thanks for the welcome guys, it is such a relief to finally have gotten this far. You won't get anything but best wishes and support from us, and advice when we can give it. Let the negative idiots on this thread and the next be damned. We are all halfway through this guys, we can do it!