VadnVince

This fall will make my 9th anniversary with my British bride.  It will also make the 3rd anniversary since she returned home to look after her mum.  I think that our VisaJourney started off beautifully and romantically!  It's sorta landed with a thud, 11 years later, since we've first met.   I don't think that her traveling to America for to get married was what she dreamt it would be.  The trip to home to care for Mum has also been a convenient way to STAY at home and not make any concrete plans (with me) to return.  All has been placed back on me to prepare for her to return as I prepared for her initial arrival.  The problem was that during the time of being her, she was never really content, or as she put it, "comfortable" as she was at home.  I'm realistic to realize that we're never as comfortable as we are at home.  Especially if "home" is in another country.  But I also know that it on the part of the K=1 visa holder to realize that they are making a conscious move to a new home and must also make a conscientious effort to make it home.
 
I recently read a post from "Howins/NYC" by a bride who was homesick for the U.K. and not adjusting to American living.  If I didn't know better, I'd believe that it was written by MY wife.  Over the past 8.5 years, the prevailing theme has been, "It's not how it's done in the U.K."  No matter what I've done to make her comfortable, it's never as good as, "how it's done in the U.K." Obviously, nothing will ever by done as it is in the U.K. BECAUSE IT'S THE U.S.A!  Something I don't think immigrants consider when living home.  Whether you're from a third world or first world country - HOME IS HOME and you're going to have to make necessary adjustments to BE married in a new home and not just GET married on a "romantic" K-1 visa.  The parallels between the U.K. & the U.S.A. are more than the differences.  And yes, last year I considered trying to make a go of it in the U.K.  BUT, immigration to the U.K. is filled with red-tape and is expensive.  No, I don't really want to live there because our business sector systems are easier here than in the U.K.  Being an entrepreneur is challenging in the U.K. compared to the U.S., as well as as finding a job.
 
Today, I have sincere regrets after spending the past decade trying to make someone happy (& comfortable) my priority.  Only to have it constantly thrown back at me that, "It's better in the U.K." 
 
 

These are positive points about America that most Brits realize, but I came to realize getting married to someone whose 50, never been married or had children, lived in a small time all their life can result in a very naïve spinster for a wife.  All she knows is that little town in the West Midlands and talk of America being inferior to the UK in every way.  She's stubborn so living here was not able to change her opinions.  Although me contemplating divorce or just keeping her ####### there, permanently separated, lately has made her really reconsider her positions.  

This fall will make my 9th anniversary with my British bride.  It will also make the 3rd anniversary since she returned home to look after her mum.  I think that our VisaJourney started off beautifully and romantically!  It's sorta landed with a thud, 11 years later, since we've first met.   I don't think that her traveling to America for to get married was what she dreamt it would be.  The trip to home to care for Mum has also been a convenient way to STAY at home and not make any concrete plans (with me) to return.  All has been placed back on me to prepare for her to return as I prepared for her initial arrival.  The problem was that during the time of being her, she was never really content, or as she put it, "comfortable" as she was at home.  I'm realistic to realize that we're never as comfortable as we are at home.  Especially if "home" is in another country.  But I also know that it on the part of the K=1 visa holder to realize that they are making a conscious move to a new home and must also make a conscientious effort to make it home.
 
I recently read a post from "Howins/NYC" by a bride who was homesick for the U.K. and not adjusting to American living.  If I didn't know better, I'd believe that it was written by MY wife.  Over the past 8.5 years, the prevailing theme has been, "It's not how it's done in the U.K."  No matter what I've done to make her comfortable, it's never as good as, "how it's done in the U.K." Obviously, nothing will ever by done as it is in the U.K. BECAUSE IT'S THE U.S.A!  Something I don't think immigrants consider when living home.  Whether you're from a third world or first world country - HOME IS HOME and you're going to have to make necessary adjustments to BE married in a new home and not just GET married on a "romantic" K-1 visa.  The parallels between the U.K. & the U.S.A. are more than the differences.  And yes, last year I considered trying to make a go of it in the U.K.  BUT, immigration to the U.K. is filled with red-tape and is expensive.  No, I don't really want to live there because our business sector systems are easier here than in the U.K.  Being an entrepreneur is challenging in the U.K. compared to the U.S., as well as as finding a job.
 
Today, I have sincere regrets after spending the past decade trying to make someone happy (& comfortable) my priority.  Only to have it constantly thrown back at me that, "It's better in the U.K." 
 
 

We've got some clarity on both sides, here!  This is MY third marriage and the outcome is similar to the first two, as well!  The hardest part of western culture (UK OR USA)  is that it's ALWAYS THE MAN'S FAULT!  YOU are held accountable for "coming up short" of her expectations.  Many women have a quid-pro-quo concept of marriage.  She provides the cootchie and YOU just provide!  If what you provide is not to her liking, you're at fault.  In my first two marriages, I was lacking in material gain.  This one, I was busting ### to not allow that to be a factor and my country's system fell short!  One can't win for losing! Being a person of Christian faith makes it even more challenging because it's REALLY, "always the man's fault" - no matter what the woman is or is not doing!

Any time someone says, "I don't mean to be rude", they usually are.  So much it's solicited a 😆 from Cilllah .  First of all, it's not funny, Cilllah .  I have read K-1 visa horror stories worst than mine and did not one a bit humorous and did not contribute my "two-cents" because I didn't now the parties enough to give an ignorant opinion.  Secondly, you can't "wish all the best" to me and mock me simultaneously,  Lastly, there are other common variables other than JUST me as there are uncommon variables that you don't know anything about and the outcomes are not all identical.  You wouldn't know about those either.  Before you submit an ignorant opinion, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.   

It is nice to see other Aussies around! Seem to be a lot less of us - which I guess makes sense! I visited before and I am fine being stuck here. I love the place! I guess I just mean it's been hard to not go out and do anything - especially to keep my daughters mind off things. This morning she has already asked to go home. It happens once a week or so which isn't too bad but I just wish we could REALLY settle in. A SSN and no pandemic would have been ideal!
 
I went to an Asian grocery store and I didn't love it but there's others to try. World Market had some stuff. Nothing exciting for cooking but it was still exciting to see some familiar Australian snacks - Japanese too! Does SAMs have snags as in real sausages? The closest thing I have found are breakfast sausages and they aren't the same. My daughter is super picky and mainly ate sausages and cheerios and both don't exist here. Which has made things difficult! I have had to Google so many things as they have different names!
 
My kid is pretty picky. I mean she doesn't like healthy but she also only likes specific things aka nuggets only from Maccas. So her junk eating hasn't increased luckily. I feel like I have already put on weight but I went for a run on the trails yesterday and it was so nice. I want to get into the routine. It was also the first time I have had any time to myself since I got here as I have my daughter 24/7 and when she is asleep I am spending time with my husband. Which I love of course but.. Being able to just be by myself and listen to music was a good way to recharge!
 
I called the local department of transport twice and yeah they both told me that I need a SSN and they said I definitely 100% need my SSN no matter what. Which is annoying as technically in 20 or so days I won't be able to drive on my Australian license. Well, I have only driven here once but I need to do more as I need to get more confident for when I do get my car and license. Hopefully I get my EAD/AP combo card soon and the upcoming I-944 RFE won't delay it TOO much.
 
I am not confused! I know the difference trust me! I am left wing and this state is very right wing. I ignore it for the most part as it doesn't impact my day to day life!
 
Thanks!
 
Thanks! My relationship is going well. My issues literally stem from SSO being closed and not being able to get my license or anything to really get my foot in the door. The pandemic sucks! Plus I don't want to send my daughter to daycare here whilst there's a pandemic because I don't want to risk her getting sick so it's just her and I 24/7. I think that is definitely personal opinion. I genuinely love South Dakota! I was here plenty of times before and it's so beautiful. I love the houses and how cheap they are, cost of living is great, everyone is so friendly, it feels like a big city in a small town. I also love my in-laws and I couldn't imagine moving away from them - even for a job. So many opportunities elsewhere but I love it here! However, I haven't gone through a winter yet and that might make me a bit sad when it's cold.
 
Yeah we have a World Market and I have been. It was nice. Definitely can online but as I said it is very expensie!

Cheers to and for your husband, BTW 😆  Or as we say in the Hood parts of the States, "MY MAN!"  In the time my wife has been back in the U.K.  she's LOST butt.  I told her that this was NOT acceptable! LOL  COVID Quarantine for the past 6 months has helped her RESTORE restore her to original butt beauty like I found her!

Actually, you've hit the nail right on the head!  I'm getting into the final expense insurance business that allows you to work from home via telesales.  And that is actually how I'm considering a compromise.  As long as I have an internet connection, I get leads through a phone app and can use Vonage to place sales calls from anywhere in the world.
 
My last visit to England was in trying TO get a work-visa.  I had an interview with Cunard (as a DJ) and was lured there by a brother-in-law for a potential interview with the London School of Science & Technology in B'ham.  Also was looking into a position at Walsall College.  The bad news was not getting any of the above and the good news was not getting any of the above!  Covid-19 hit and I left just in time before they locked down the borders!  My mother-in-law actually contracted the virus and was hospitalized, right after I left!  I would have been STUCK LIKE CHUCK with no possibly of prospects here OR there!  
 
I started studying for my insurance license, while there and took the exam back in July - so NOW I have options, working from home, abroad AND to make some money!

Although Iyou say I have a great mindset and that could be attributed to being younger for sure, I am also 29 going on 65 lol. I'm an old man in a lot of ways and my views on many things are normally found on someone older. 
 
Yeah immigrating back is much more difficult, costly and also the income in England (generally speaking) doesn't compare to the USA, then throw on house prices and sheer sqft availability and 'MURICA I STAY! 
 
Oh cool, I've been a few times (I work around 20 mins west of there), but mainly only because that's the easiest place for me to buy Lamb from regularly. We visit Chicago often, I take my hat off to you, it is not somewhere I think I could live either. Big city living is not my thing (see - old man, young man's body) 

Well, then, I partially misunderstood your post.  However, I was reacting to the underlying tenet that you and I both share:  that marriage vows are to be taken more seriously than what you described.
 
Your "Popeye" observation, whether you intended thus or not, bears out my original point -- which, described another way, is that we can fruitlessly give and give until our emotional reservoir is exhausted, and then we have to decide whether we should ultimately cut things off.  (This happened to me twice.)  So I think that we agree more closely than it might have initially appeared.
This is part of what I was trying to convey initially and just above:  if it's not going to work, then...
I sincerely sympathize with you, and I empathize with you to the extent that our situations parallel.

This fall will make my 9th anniversary with my British bride.  It will also make the 3rd anniversary since she returned home to look after her mum.  I think that our VisaJourney started off beautifully and romantically!  It's sorta landed with a thud, 11 years later, since we've first met.   I don't think that her traveling to America for to get married was what she dreamt it would be.  The trip to home to care for Mum has also been a convenient way to STAY at home and not make any concrete plans (with me) to return.  All has been placed back on me to prepare for her to return as I prepared for her initial arrival.  The problem was that during the time of being her, she was never really content, or as she put it, "comfortable" as she was at home.  I'm realistic to realize that we're never as comfortable as we are at home.  Especially if "home" is in another country.  But I also know that it on the part of the K=1 visa holder to realize that they are making a conscious move to a new home and must also make a conscientious effort to make it home.
 
I recently read a post from "Howins/NYC" by a bride who was homesick for the U.K. and not adjusting to American living.  If I didn't know better, I'd believe that it was written by MY wife.  Over the past 8.5 years, the prevailing theme has been, "It's not how it's done in the U.K."  No matter what I've done to make her comfortable, it's never as good as, "how it's done in the U.K." Obviously, nothing will ever by done as it is in the U.K. BECAUSE IT'S THE U.S.A!  Something I don't think immigrants consider when living home.  Whether you're from a third world or first world country - HOME IS HOME and you're going to have to make necessary adjustments to BE married in a new home and not just GET married on a "romantic" K-1 visa.  The parallels between the U.K. & the U.S.A. are more than the differences.  And yes, last year I considered trying to make a go of it in the U.K.  BUT, immigration to the U.K. is filled with red-tape and is expensive.  No, I don't really want to live there because our business sector systems are easier here than in the U.K.  Being an entrepreneur is challenging in the U.K. compared to the U.S., as well as as finding a job.
 
Today, I have sincere regrets after spending the past decade trying to make someone happy (& comfortable) my priority.  Only to have it constantly thrown back at me that, "It's better in the U.K." 
 
 

This fall will make my 9th anniversary with my British bride.  It will also make the 3rd anniversary since she returned home to look after her mum.  I think that our VisaJourney started off beautifully and romantically!  It's sorta landed with a thud, 11 years later, since we've first met.   I don't think that her traveling to America for to get married was what she dreamt it would be.  The trip to home to care for Mum has also been a convenient way to STAY at home and not make any concrete plans (with me) to return.  All has been placed back on me to prepare for her to return as I prepared for her initial arrival.  The problem was that during the time of being her, she was never really content, or as she put it, "comfortable" as she was at home.  I'm realistic to realize that we're never as comfortable as we are at home.  Especially if "home" is in another country.  But I also know that it on the part of the K=1 visa holder to realize that they are making a conscious move to a new home and must also make a conscientious effort to make it home.
 
I recently read a post from "Howins/NYC" by a bride who was homesick for the U.K. and not adjusting to American living.  If I didn't know better, I'd believe that it was written by MY wife.  Over the past 8.5 years, the prevailing theme has been, "It's not how it's done in the U.K."  No matter what I've done to make her comfortable, it's never as good as, "how it's done in the U.K." Obviously, nothing will ever by done as it is in the U.K. BECAUSE IT'S THE U.S.A!  Something I don't think immigrants consider when living home.  Whether you're from a third world or first world country - HOME IS HOME and you're going to have to make necessary adjustments to BE married in a new home and not just GET married on a "romantic" K-1 visa.  The parallels between the U.K. & the U.S.A. are more than the differences.  And yes, last year I considered trying to make a go of it in the U.K.  BUT, immigration to the U.K. is filled with red-tape and is expensive.  No, I don't really want to live there because our business sector systems are easier here than in the U.K.  Being an entrepreneur is challenging in the U.K. compared to the U.S., as well as as finding a job.
 
Today, I have sincere regrets after spending the past decade trying to make someone happy (& comfortable) my priority.  Only to have it constantly thrown back at me that, "It's better in the U.K." 
 
 

This fall will make my 9th anniversary with my British bride.  It will also make the 3rd anniversary since she returned home to look after her mum.  I think that our VisaJourney started off beautifully and romantically!  It's sorta landed with a thud, 11 years later, since we've first met.   I don't think that her traveling to America for to get married was what she dreamt it would be.  The trip to home to care for Mum has also been a convenient way to STAY at home and not make any concrete plans (with me) to return.  All has been placed back on me to prepare for her to return as I prepared for her initial arrival.  The problem was that during the time of being her, she was never really content, or as she put it, "comfortable" as she was at home.  I'm realistic to realize that we're never as comfortable as we are at home.  Especially if "home" is in another country.  But I also know that it on the part of the K=1 visa holder to realize that they are making a conscious move to a new home and must also make a conscientious effort to make it home.
 
I recently read a post from "Howins/NYC" by a bride who was homesick for the U.K. and not adjusting to American living.  If I didn't know better, I'd believe that it was written by MY wife.  Over the past 8.5 years, the prevailing theme has been, "It's not how it's done in the U.K."  No matter what I've done to make her comfortable, it's never as good as, "how it's done in the U.K." Obviously, nothing will ever by done as it is in the U.K. BECAUSE IT'S THE U.S.A!  Something I don't think immigrants consider when living home.  Whether you're from a third world or first world country - HOME IS HOME and you're going to have to make necessary adjustments to BE married in a new home and not just GET married on a "romantic" K-1 visa.  The parallels between the U.K. & the U.S.A. are more than the differences.  And yes, last year I considered trying to make a go of it in the U.K.  BUT, immigration to the U.K. is filled with red-tape and is expensive.  No, I don't really want to live there because our business sector systems are easier here than in the U.K.  Being an entrepreneur is challenging in the U.K. compared to the U.S., as well as as finding a job.
 
Today, I have sincere regrets after spending the past decade trying to make someone happy (& comfortable) my priority.  Only to have it constantly thrown back at me that, "It's better in the U.K." 
 
 

This fall will make my 9th anniversary with my British bride.  It will also make the 3rd anniversary since she returned home to look after her mum.  I think that our VisaJourney started off beautifully and romantically!  It's sorta landed with a thud, 11 years later, since we've first met.   I don't think that her traveling to America for to get married was what she dreamt it would be.  The trip to home to care for Mum has also been a convenient way to STAY at home and not make any concrete plans (with me) to return.  All has been placed back on me to prepare for her to return as I prepared for her initial arrival.  The problem was that during the time of being her, she was never really content, or as she put it, "comfortable" as she was at home.  I'm realistic to realize that we're never as comfortable as we are at home.  Especially if "home" is in another country.  But I also know that it on the part of the K=1 visa holder to realize that they are making a conscious move to a new home and must also make a conscientious effort to make it home.
 
I recently read a post from "Howins/NYC" by a bride who was homesick for the U.K. and not adjusting to American living.  If I didn't know better, I'd believe that it was written by MY wife.  Over the past 8.5 years, the prevailing theme has been, "It's not how it's done in the U.K."  No matter what I've done to make her comfortable, it's never as good as, "how it's done in the U.K." Obviously, nothing will ever by done as it is in the U.K. BECAUSE IT'S THE U.S.A!  Something I don't think immigrants consider when living home.  Whether you're from a third world or first world country - HOME IS HOME and you're going to have to make necessary adjustments to BE married in a new home and not just GET married on a "romantic" K-1 visa.  The parallels between the U.K. & the U.S.A. are more than the differences.  And yes, last year I considered trying to make a go of it in the U.K.  BUT, immigration to the U.K. is filled with red-tape and is expensive.  No, I don't really want to live there because our business sector systems are easier here than in the U.K.  Being an entrepreneur is challenging in the U.K. compared to the U.S., as well as as finding a job.
 
Today, I have sincere regrets after spending the past decade trying to make someone happy (& comfortable) my priority.  Only to have it constantly thrown back at me that, "It's better in the U.K." 
 
 

NYC is a totally "different beast" even for Americans who've never lived there!  I've only visited, twice.  You're AWESOME!

Honestly, you LOST me with, "If you truly love her..."  Initially, that may SOUND romantic, but it's a bit insulting, just so you know.  I've already stated that I did everything I could to make her happy and comfortable.   But if it's still not regarding as "Good enough."  There's nothing more that "can be did!"  

Hope your mom doesn't have access to this board!  LOL  I've never had authentic Chinese food to compare.  Just like American-Italian and Italian are two different things too.  You're down there in, eating in the Big Easy?!  The waistline is a lost cause!

This fall will make my 9th anniversary with my British bride.  It will also make the 3rd anniversary since she returned home to look after her mum.  I think that our VisaJourney started off beautifully and romantically!  It's sorta landed with a thud, 11 years later, since we've first met.   I don't think that her traveling to America for to get married was what she dreamt it would be.  The trip to home to care for Mum has also been a convenient way to STAY at home and not make any concrete plans (with me) to return.  All has been placed back on me to prepare for her to return as I prepared for her initial arrival.  The problem was that during the time of being her, she was never really content, or as she put it, "comfortable" as she was at home.  I'm realistic to realize that we're never as comfortable as we are at home.  Especially if "home" is in another country.  But I also know that it on the part of the K=1 visa holder to realize that they are making a conscious move to a new home and must also make a conscientious effort to make it home.
 
I recently read a post from "Howins/NYC" by a bride who was homesick for the U.K. and not adjusting to American living.  If I didn't know better, I'd believe that it was written by MY wife.  Over the past 8.5 years, the prevailing theme has been, "It's not how it's done in the U.K."  No matter what I've done to make her comfortable, it's never as good as, "how it's done in the U.K." Obviously, nothing will ever by done as it is in the U.K. BECAUSE IT'S THE U.S.A!  Something I don't think immigrants consider when living home.  Whether you're from a third world or first world country - HOME IS HOME and you're going to have to make necessary adjustments to BE married in a new home and not just GET married on a "romantic" K-1 visa.  The parallels between the U.K. & the U.S.A. are more than the differences.  And yes, last year I considered trying to make a go of it in the U.K.  BUT, immigration to the U.K. is filled with red-tape and is expensive.  No, I don't really want to live there because our business sector systems are easier here than in the U.K.  Being an entrepreneur is challenging in the U.K. compared to the U.S., as well as as finding a job.
 
Today, I have sincere regrets after spending the past decade trying to make someone happy (& comfortable) my priority.  Only to have it constantly thrown back at me that, "It's better in the U.K." 
 
 

Hi OP,
 
My husband thought about your post a lot actually. There is a kind of phase a person goes through where they do compare life here vs life there. If that never really leaves a person and acclimation and acceptance of choices never happens then he can only conclude your wife was never ready to begin with - nor prepared to make such a sacrifice of 'letting go'. And some people will always be like that. But in a relationship such as this - someone - be it her or you - have to make the sacrifice or else what relationship is there to begin with?
 
From my observation of my husband, initially in the first years things were hard. He had already been visiting here for years so perhaps it was not as hard to adjust as most - and my upbringing, even as an American with UK heritage, did share a similar culture and understanding. I can honestly say that I miss the UK just as much as he does - and we'd be quite content to live there and I'd have little qualms about packing up even as I too would go through that same comparison phase. Still, things were difficult initially when he was passed up for jobs, or when he'd see various depressing things happening locally. That got better when he threw himself into working and quickly found friends. He's gotten to see our healthcare system first hand and while he still doesn't like it not being 'free', he now recognizes it's value. I've made a point to take him to as many places as I can to show him the good things of America, but never glossing over the bad. He's never short of treats from back home, especially when he's homesick. And believe me, people do get homesick. It's impossible not to. The first step is realizing that America will never be the same as the UK - and that's okay, because we are different and we shouldn't be the same. And it's also okay if they feel some things are better back home. But if that starts consuming their life and they never actually want to leave home... there's a deeper problem here. He's not sure if it's something that can be repaired through therapy.

I'm also from the UK and am in my 50's. been here nearly 5 years now and it's not the life I had in the UK but it's home.
We can make English fish and chips, order most things I miss online and I talk to my family everyday.
Life is what you make of it wherever you are, put little or nothing in then you can't expect much back.
I wish you well for the future

I know quite a few people who moved here at an older age, not sure it makes any difference, well not to my notice.
 
And I knew very few from the UK, Germans and Danish seem more prevalent!

He has a criminal record and was sentenced to more than 3 years in prison. The UK is very harsh with criminal records and there are no “waivers of ineligibility” as there are here for foreign spouses with criminal records. And there is no time limit either. My husband committed his crime in 1990, more than 20 years before I even met him. If he lived to be 100 he still won’t be able to travel to the UK, not even to visit, under the current laws. 
 
Whether you have citizenship or not through your mother will depend on when you were born as there was a change in the law regarding citizenship by descent. 

Sorry to read your story, I read your contribution in the other mentioned thread. I can't say I cannot relate a little bit. People adjust in different ways and have different preferences. For me, my home country will, in many aspects, always be the best - even if I know it's not an objective judgment. 
 
The most important thing is that one finds a way to feel comfortable. If they don't, then they can either keep lying to themselves and their SO, or do something about it. 
Good luck everyone!
 

I am the British recipient of a K1 Visa. May 2019, married June 2019 and received my Greencard January 2020. Throughout I would say June > November, I had huge issues of adapting to the move here (USA), from home (UK). This whole process is not easy, the feelings of loneliness, boredom, fear, uncertainty and just worthlessness was a daily thing at times for me - and I'd never, ever dealt with those feelings on such a scale (Young male, ego, y'know).
 
Fast forward now to September 2020. This is home. I am from England, I will always be a Yorkshireman/English but I am at home now (MI, USA). Are there things that are better in the UK, 100% - Chocolate, fish and chips, Prawn cocktail crisps, healthcare fees (lack there of), Carling lager. Are there things that are better in the US, 100% - Travel, possibilities, finances, accesibility (hours or stores/food and so on). 
 
I wasn't as comfortable initially as I was back in England, I had 30 years practice in England, I've not had 30 months practice here. I still now aren't as comfortable on the phone discussing banking items, insurance tiers and the likes - that's life. But you can also have 60 Years somewhere, if you're forever comparing differencies you will always find them and not adapt. That goes for everything in life, cars, food, lifestyles, TV shows. "Oh well it doesn't have a caramel it must be worse".
 
No one place/thing/item has everything and anything anyone and everyone can possibly imagine. The problem comes with the immigrant, we/ have our country of origin's expectations on top of their new country of residence also and those comparrisons become second nature sadly...
 
Adjusting really, in my personal opinion is all about openess and the person's mindset. If you're willing for change and adjustments to happen - you can be extremely comfortable, more so than your country of origin.
 
 
This sums it up, the novelty appears to have been the romantic story line, the conscientious effort is the requirement. You are now home, that decision was made after a lot of thought, worry and hopes.
 
Overall though, I am so sorry to hear your story. My wife (US Citizen, visited limited times, never resided there) also thinks everything is better in the U.K but thankfully she hates immigration processes - so here we stay! 

NYC is a totally "different beast" even for Americans who've never lived there!  I've only visited, twice.  You're AWESOME!