Trust in a Relationship....

[Jenn! 918]

Some people may not have the ability to trust *any* other person 100%, nothing personal against their chosen partner. I'd rather not sh!t on them and their relationship.

[PaulineA 1]

If a person lied constantly I wouldn't have anything to do with them. Especially if it was someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with. How could you spend your life with a liar? You can't trust a liar. When the trust isn't there then the relationship has unrepairable cracks. People say you can learn to trust that person again, but there comes a point when you must draw the line. And I don't believe that a persons country of origon excuses them from being a liar. No matter where you have been brought up, you should know right from wrong. Bottom line is that trust is an important part of a relationship IMO.

[almaty 19]

without trust in a relationship..then in the end, the relationship is doomed

[keltic 1]

trust is paramount

[foxtobee 1]

How important is trust to you in a relationship? Could you marry your SO while thinking (s)he's a liar?

For me, if I didn't trust D with my life, we wouldn't be getting married. Hell, we wouldn't be in an LDR. It's the foundation for everything, and without trust, there's nothing.

It boggles my mind how people will sell themselves short and marry people that they don't trust at all.

What about you?

I completely trust my husband. We did when we were in a LDR and still we do. And it's working GREAT!!!

[Jason-Sasha 1]

I trust my Sweet Sasha completely. And I know that she trusts me completely. Being so far apart in physical distance...trust is everything!

[Laynie 0]

Trust is fluid. I trust my doctor with my health, but I wouldn't necessarily trust him with my house. I trust my car with my life everyday I drive, but I wouldn't marry it. With marriage, a basic trust (along with honesty) in each other lays the ground work to be able to withstand the trials of marriage. Little things can gnaw away at that trust - such as a wife asking her husband to pick up her clothes from the cleaners and he forgets. He might be a terrific husband who loves her loyally, but he just sucks at remembering things. Can she trust him with getting to the cleaners without her constantly reminding him? Probably not. Does that make the marriage not work...I don't think so. In fact, I think later on after being married for several years, such things will be found to be endearing as both of them will be able to look back at him never remembering to go to the cleaners for her, laugh and tell him he's such a forgetful fool (affectionately of course).

I think that's a different kind of trust that borders on knowing your partner and his/her weaknesses...can I trust him to not forget to go to the cleaners? would not be a question I would hinge a successful marriage on.

What I'm really getting at is trust with the big things....to be faithful (if that's your arrangement...some might differ), with having your back, always being there, and NOT lying to you, etc.

Could you marry someone you felt was lying to you?

Trust is like building a house, first you have to build the foundation then brick by brick you build the walls .

Trust is fluid. I trust my doctor with my health, but I wouldn't necessarily trust him with my house. I trust my car with my life everyday I drive, but I wouldn't marry it. With marriage, a basic trust (along with honesty) in each other lays the ground work to be able to withstand the trials of marriage. Little things can gnaw away at that trust - such as a wife asking her husband to pick up her clothes from the cleaners and he forgets. He might be a terrific husband who loves her loyally, but he just sucks at remembering things. Can she trust him with getting to the cleaners without her constantly reminding him? Probably not. Does that make the marriage not work...I don't think so. In fact, I think later on after being married for several years, such things will be found to be endearing as both of them will be able to look back at him never remembering to go to the cleaners for her, laugh and tell him he's such a forgetful fool (affectionately of course).

I think that's a different kind of trust that borders on knowing your partner and his/her weaknesses...can I trust him to not forget to go to the cleaners? would not be a question I would hinge a successful marriage on.

What I'm really getting at is trust with the big things....to be faithful (if that's your arrangement...some might differ), with having your back, always being there, and NOT lying to you, etc.

Could you marry someone you felt was lying to you?

Edited August 27, 2007 by Laynie

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Trust is held only in the one that you choose to give it to. When the trust that you hold so dear is broken,it will create an equal amount of pain.

[Sheriff Uling 3]

LisaD:

No trust is a deal breaker!

The question becomes how much rope and effort does the individual extend in hopes that the trust that was broken could somehow be mended? That truly becomes a gut instinct decision based upon the individual’s personality, temperament, willingness, and belief in their mate. Broken trust may be one of the hardest hurdles to overcome in a relationship.

It’s a pickle, no doubt about that!

As always, cheers!!!

Sheriff Uling

[Mrs.J06 4]

Sadly enough, there seem to be quite a few people in LDR that simply don't know their SOs enough to be able to trust them.... and they still jump into marriage like there was no tomorrow.

I can't imagine a relationship/marriage without trust! Hubby has been burned before and I guess if I would lie to him even about the most trivial issues, it would be over for us.

[AtlantiCat 0]

There is nothing in a significant relationship more important than trust. Period. If you can not trust your partner, you should not be in the relationship. Period.

And there's a big difference between a basic fundamental trust in a person and not trusting him/her to pick up milk and eggs on the way home. The former is imperative, the latter insignificant. You can't sweat the small stuff or you'll be doing nothing but sweating all the time and stinking up the place.

[angeljan 0]

I trust Amr also a 100% and he trusts me . Without trust, honesty, and opening up freely with each other along with a couple of other things I would not have married the man of my dreams. I have never met anyone like my husband before that I can truely put all my trust into, its a great feeling . As for forgetting things thats a whole different trust then what everyone else is talking about, hey we all goof up and that kind of trust one way or another in our relationship its to be expected.

[Nessa 23]

trust is a must!

[Lilith** 0]

I don't think I will ever trust anybody 100%.....I have got better as I have gotten older I think. I would love to have the deep down assurance that many of you feel you have but I just can't give a 100%. I don't let it blight my life like I used to, because as it has been said mistrust can be very destructive in a relationship.

[Jaseball 0]

"Honey, do these pants make my butt look fat?"

"How's that pasta? As good as your mom's?"

"Do you find that girl attractive?"

"How do you like that shirt I got you?"

"Is there anything about me you would want to change?"

Want me to go on? The situation, the degree and other factors all come into play when it comes to lies and trust. In important areas such as fidelity, finances, health, degree of love, future goals, etc., etc., one lie is enough to sink things because the person is lying for specific deceptive reasons as well as pretending to be something they are not.

With all the above white lies you know that smart men will tell the white lie because doing anything else is just starting an argument you can't win and that will wear you out, while being totally pointless at the same time. I've lied, side stepped, ignored the question, told a joke in to every one of those questions.

I don't trust anyone 100%. Been there and done that. If you reach 90% with me you are a trusted friend, lover, family member, etc. If you reach 95% we've known each other for many, many years and you've never let me down. I can't see anyone going over 90-95% for anyone. My wife will be the only one who could get past 95%, but that is going to take a heck of a long time and she has to deserve it.