Feminine form of last name

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

Have any other wives of Russians (and/or other similar places) legally changed their names to the Russian traditional female form of the last name? Example - Pashkov/ Pashkova?

I am wanting to legally change my name, but unsure if I will be able to change it to that form or it will be the exact same as my husbands.

Thanks!

[millefleur 5,035]

Yes, my last name was changed to the feminine Russian form. So, my husband's ends with "-ov" and mine ends with "-ova". We were married in Russia so they kind of just did that by default.

 

In terms of changing it in the US, I believe it really depends what the marriage certificate says. In Russia, by default people would probably refer to you with the feminine form, but they would only print it on your visa if that's what your passport said I believe.

 

 

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

2 minutes ago, millefleur said:

Yes, my last name was changed to the feminine Russian form. So, my husband's ends with "-ov" and mine ends with "-ova". We were married in Russia so they kind of just did that by default.

 

In terms of changing it in the US, I believe it really depends what the marriage certificate says. In Russia, by default people would probably refer to you with the feminine form, but they would only print it on your visa if that's what your passport said I believe.

 

 

Thank you, @millefleur!! Our Spanish marriage cert just has his name in -ov. I think the US will probably make me take his same last name. Which is not terrible but I was wanting to do it the traditional Russian way.

[millefleur 5,035]

Just now, Strawberrymermaid said:

Thank you, @millefleur!! Our Spanish marriage cert just has his name in -ov. I think the US will probably make me take his same last name. Which is not terrible but I was wanting to do it the traditional Russian way.

Oh I see, yeah, I believe in the US the new name is just whatever the marriage certificate says. If you wanted to add the "a" I believe you'd have to do a court order name change, which varies from state to state.

 

I like having the "proper" feminine form of the last name, but it confuses a lot of people here. Many assume it is a typo. Or we've received mail with my husband's name with the "a" at the end, haha. Having your names be the same is probably easier when dealing with paperwork stuff. For example, when my husband and I move addresses, we have to fill out separate change of address forms instead of the "family" one, and the "family" one is for the same last name. If you're not planning to spend a lot of time in Russia or interact with Russians, it's probably no big deal to just use the "-ov" form even though it looks grammatically correct to most Russians, many Russian women here (especially if the immigrated years ago and have no real plans to return to Eastern Europe) seem to just adopt the masculine form and then leave it at that.

[DaveAndAnastasia 2,078]

2 hours ago, millefleur said:

I like having the "proper" feminine form of the last name, but it confuses a lot of people here.

Yup; when the (mid-sized CA exurb) county clerk's office where Anastasia and I got married saw her father's surname was "-ov" and hers was "-ova" they were a bit confused and we just said it's a Russian thing 🤣.

Anyway she goes by my surname now on all American documents (and may never change things in Russia).

[Dashinka 23,238]

I agree with @millefleur, you would most likely have to do a legal name change to add the "a".  For us, the issues were more with my wife taking my family name, but all her Russian documents are in her maiden name.  We researched changing her name on her Russian passport, but that is a real pain given the bureaucracy there, so we left it as is.  It really was not an issue, except sometimes my wife gets asked questions at the passport exit control in the airport. 

[millefleur 5,035]

1 hour ago, Dashinka said:

I agree with @millefleur, you would most likely have to do a legal name change to add the "a".  For us, the issues were more with my wife taking my family name, but all her Russian documents are in her maiden name.  We researched changing her name on her Russian passport, but that is a real pain given the bureaucracy there, so we left it as is.  It really was not an issue, except sometimes my wife gets asked questions at the passport exit control in the airport. 

Ah, yeah it's a bit more straightforward here when it's the US citizen changing names. Basically @Strawberrymermaid will have to update her passport, driver's license and SSN regardless if she takes a new name, whether it's court ordered or via the marriage certificate. The SSN was the slowest one in my experience, but I've heard US passports are backed up right now too.

[Strawberrymermaid 346]

Thank you everyone. I think I will officially change it to match his last name but informally use the -ova on social media etc.  

[Chauncey 138]

3 hours ago, Strawberrymermaid said:

Thank you everyone. I think I will officially change it to match his last name but informally use the -ova on social media etc.  

I thought about this same thing a long time ago and realized it's probably better and makes more sense legally in the US for it to be the same. Otherwise I think it could cause issues, especially with those ignorant to other country's traditions

[millefleur 5,035]

14 minutes ago, Chauncey said:

I thought about this same thing a long time ago and realized it's probably better and makes more sense legally in the US for it to be the same. Otherwise I think it could cause issues, especially with those ignorant to other country's traditions

We haven't had any issues with it. Just minor confusions, such as sometimes I get mail under the "ov" name and sometimes my husband gets mail under the "ova." I think the harder part is you'd have to get a court order name change in the US to get it done unless you get married in Russia where they just automatically put the feminine form on the marriage certificate.

 

For people trying for a K-1 who plan to marry in the US, I'm not sure they would allow it here? They would probably just make you take the spouse's name exactly as it is.

[DaveAndAnastasia 2,078]

2 hours ago, millefleur said:

For people trying for a K-1 who plan to marry in the US, I'm not sure they would allow it here? They would probably just make you take the spouse's name exactly as it is.

In some states (most notably CA), either partner can specify the surname and middle name he or she wants to use after marriage within some limits (and I'm sure that you could talk your way into allowing an -ova given the rules). But I suspect you're right that most would just allow taking it as-is.

 

19 hours ago, millefleur said:

The SSN was the slowest one in my experience, but I've heard US passports are backed up right now too.

FWIW, we got our son's passport much more quickly than the waiting times they gave us when we applied (said 10-12 weeks from when the state department gets it; filed at the post office on New Year's Eve; actually got it back by the end of January). Though that's a new passport (and an infant's, at that).

Edited March 4, 2021 by DaveAndAnastasia

[millefleur 5,035]

10 minutes ago, DaveAndAnastasia said:

FWIW, we got our son's passport much more quickly than the waiting times they gave us when we applied (said 10-12 weeks from when the state department gets it; filed at the post office on New Year's Eve; actually got it back by the end of January). Though that's a new passport (and an infant's, at that).

That's really good to hear. My husband's citizenship is coming up this year and we will want to get him a US passport ASAP once he is officially a citizen. Since he will be a new applicant, maybe it will also go quicker?

[TBoneTX 43,057]

Not new, but I renewed my own passport last year when about a million were backlogged and priority processing was disallowed.  I was surprised and pleased to get the fresh one in something like 6 weeks.

[Dashinka 23,238]

On 3/4/2021 at 5:12 PM, millefleur said:

That's really good to hear. My husband's citizenship is coming up this year and we will want to get him a US passport ASAP once he is officially a citizen. Since he will be a new applicant, maybe it will also go quicker?

Back in 2018 when my wife naturalized, we had a representative from the Detroit passport office come to the oath ceremony and explain the passport process.  The next day (her oath was in the afternoon and the passport office closes around 3:30) my wife and I went down to the office, she applied with expedited service since travel was planned in less than 14 days, and she had her passport book in less than 3 days.  One huge advantage she had with going to the passport office within 30 days of the oath ceremony is that they did not keep her naturalization certificate, the clerk made a copy and then got a supervisor to approve the copy and gave the original back to my wife.  Honestly, I have not heard of that from others, so not sure if that is just some the Detroit passport office did for newly naturalized citizens. 

[CM&KV 72]

Late this this thread, but my hubby and I got married in Washington state. No where on the certificate it let's us chose a family name. I went to the SS office after our marriage was official at the clerks office since that's what I was told to do, mainly because I have an enchanted driver's license that let's me cross the border to Canada and Mexico by car. I had request to them I would like to add the A to my last name since thats what it is in my hubbys culture,  told them what country.  They talked to a supervisor and allowed it. So my ssn card has the A listed.

 

A few days later I went to the department of licensing to get my name changed and address changed. The man at the counter kept giving me BS. Saying the last name with an A is just a nickname etc etc and I have to have my legal name for it, since the id I have goes thru homeland security and they have to match. After waiting 1 hour I was called up since they couldn't find my paper work, which they handed back to me when they told me to wait. And the guy still told me that my time is being wasted and I will be denied my updated id. Kept being asked where on the certificate was my new formed last name. I just kept replying that there is no box for it, and that the ss office approved it. Even had the paperwork that showed that its processing.  The guy was sick of me and pushed me to the 2nd step, they took my picture of me crying, yes crying. Then waited another few hours to be called for the 3rd step. This lady was kind etc. And helped me and did her magic of some sorts. She told me she will help me get the A. Took a few more hours and then she asked for my birth certificate,  which the site didn't say I needed but when I did the original id years ago, the person never scanned my birth certificate. =/ After a few hours she had told me my id should have the A on it, but its not 100%.  But she was pretty sure I would get it. The area I lived in has a decent russian community, you would think people would be knowledgeable in this. 

 

Only issues we had since then is, some how our mailbox inside says ***eza and not ***Eva or **ev. We easily explain to people what it is, and people just get it. Plus everyone likes the female version sounds compared to the male's.

We get mail that's addressed in the female last name all the time since I do the bills. I tell hubby that in theroy I could be called his last name with certain groups. We plan on creating wills and living wills as back up. I have old id's with my maiden last name to help tie the female last name to the marriage certificate.  My family finds it interesting that I have a different spelling of his last name, but cool at the same time.

 

Ps US passport was super easy when I got it in 2018. Showed them ssn card,  drivers marriage  certificate, even brought my former divorced paper work, which wasn't needed. Got a passport in like 4 weeks at that time with the A. 

 

Pss. When we moved states, I gave them paperwork for his ver of his last name, the female ver, and also my maiden name is also listed. I only find it offensive when someone sends me mail in my former marriage's last name. I might have done a family move as well, did it all to cover us. Pretty sure the post office got annoyed with me. And yes my informed delivery moved address with me as well with no effort on my end.

 

Psss, if the extra does cause an issue we do plan on going to court to change it to the males.  

Edited May 1, 2021 by CM&KV
Paragraphs are hard didn't want post to look like a big wall of text.