Strawberrymermaid

For anyone following - My ex husband somehow made it to the US with his family (no idea how as I cancelled all of the paperwork relating to our marriage). He signed divorce papers and I am officially divorced. Happy as can be!

Im deeply sorry you’re going through this. I began to question myself and what I was doing only after like 6 months of marriage and it was at NVC stage I think. These feelings never went away for me. My gut knew this wasn’t right and I didn’t want to do it anymore. You can read my previous posts to see my journey. Sometimes it just doesn’t work and that’s ok. I wrestled with what to do. I cancelled the case before interview and filed for divorce and that was the right call for me but is a mess and expensive to get out of. Some on here advise that the I-864 is not too serious and can only be implemented if someone applies for government benefits. I have consulted with multiple lawyers and one in particular mentioned that he had a case where the spouse made it to the US and is going for that money indefinitely (they don’t even have to prove they are trying to get a job). That’s enough to scare me out of not “just hoping things get better when they get to the US”. I had a lot of people in my personal life tell me to go that route. That was too scary to me. If you aren’t sure, you don’t have to cancel the entire petition/ case, but just postpone interview. I wish you the best.

I really don't understand their timing to be honest. My case was expedited last December and sent straight to the embassy. We never got interview notification even 6 months later when I cancelled the visa due to our divorce. Then it took them like 4 months to update as "refused". Edited to answer other question: When I was in this process, I recall other Russian applicants waiting until they got their interview date to get Schengen and using special travel agents to help expedite getting the Schengen. And having lots of proof of vacation in other country (greece, hungary etc) and cancelling them last minute to go to Poland. They cancelled their trip details after they entered the county the Schengen was issued from.

Quick case update: Current attorney is terrible at communicating and no help (have received 2 emails in almost 4 months). Wont answer emails/ calls and just said its "too difficult" to serve him. Tried to hire different lawyer in town but they said it's out of their wheelhouse. Recommended me to another attorney who deals with international custody and difficult divorces (EXPENSIVE lol). Called him and he said, this doesn't sound that difficult, why are other local attorneys not taking this on? Said he has ideas on how to serve him but he's confused why other attry's are scared considering we have no children, no assets, and never lived together. No attorney wants to believe that we should ask the judge for email (even though the link shared earlier on this thread had success in other cases). They also shy away from publication as they don't know how to publish in Russian newspaper. (Also, I'm not sure that would work because no US cards work in Russia so how would I purchase?) New hot shot attorney mentioned that he just had a case where the spouse did make it to the US on a visa, then divorced and courts enforced I-864 and immigrant refused to work. American spouse was on the hook for paying support indefinitely. Friendly reminder to make sure this is what you really want before you go down this path.

Has she had a schengen visa before? I’m removed from this process now but was deep into it previously, and found out many Russian applicants only get 30 day Visas especially for the first Schengen. So if you are trying to go ahead and get one far ahead of the interview that might not work.

A snippet of my email/ letter I sent direct to embassy: I have filed for divorce from my spouse in Russia and wish to withdraw case number -00000000000. Their email back: We can confirm the case has been updated to reflect the divorce and the application will not proceed.

That makes sense, thank you. Do I write to the center that processed the petition to withdraw the I-130?

Hmm no I did not. I wrote the US Embassy in Warsaw withdrawing the case. I wrote NVC, but they told me it was at the embassy so to write them instead. How do I withdraw I-864? Is that separate from the case at the embassy? The status of the USCIS case number has a little box at the top that says "case closed", with a status on Sept 2, 2021 of "Case was sent to the Dept of State".

Hello all, The CEAC status of my soon to be ex-husband changed to "REFUSED" after months of "READY". He never had an interview as I withdrew it before we ever got an interview date. I withdrew the application back in May but did not receive confirmation until July, then the status did not move until now. Will it be sent back to USCIS to expire? Just curious how that will work.

Im really sorry this happened. My marriage also didn't work out but I realized before he got to the US that we were not a good fit. Has she been officially served? I tried to serve my ex in Russia via email and hoped he would waive service but he did not so I'm having to jump through hoops to officially serve him. I would confirm with your lawyer that they can be officially served as her being back in Ukraine will greatly complicate that. It sounds like if she wants a lawyer and isn't going to sign then it might not be uncontested. I am dealing with the same. I am going to have to pay my ex husband to settle even though we never lived together and were only married 16 months. Its insane. Did you sign I-864?

I did this 7 months into waiting for the k1. Honestly I would not advise switching that far into the waiting.

This is my fear as well. You just never know what a judge is going to decide.... He will never have the earning capacity or potential that I have. He is not educated, he does not make much money.. etc. Could a judge say, hey, he will NEVER make as much money as her and she owes him alimony for a long period of time? Or, she owes him the ability to get an education and a better job? Probably not, but, if alimony is based on the party's need and the other's ability to pay, stranger things have happened. We were married for 16 months before I filed for divorce. It doesn't matter what is fair or right or even reasonable. I think it's judge's interpretations of the law/ equitable division/ long term earning potential. I hope I'm wrong, but I am fearful. Thankfully we have no children or joint property. I spent thousands of dollars in the last couple years. This was an expensive mistake that I don't want to have to pay for, for much longer. It's also hard for me to even differentiate between our marriage and other outside factors. Russian war, not my fault. World pandemic, not my fault. Him quitting his job? Not my fault but he claims it was for us. Him not being able to make more money... is that my fault or my responsibility? If I already hired a lawyer who filed the paperwork and is doing research for me, is it worth it to call others who may have more experience with international divorces?

Thank you to everyone who followed along.. 💟 I am the one who wanted this so don't feel sad for me persay, just take my situation as an example for anyone else NOT to have to go through. I feel my eyes were opened finally. Another word of caution to anyone reading this and still in the process, this sounds silly but I am trying to offer some advice- make SURE you don't keep in this situation for a sunken costs reason, or to feel like you finally "won" if/ when they get their visa. The only reason you are going through this is so you can be together and then start your life. I fought so hard, tried so many things, expedites, being patient, research, time and money spent, trips to Russia etc... as if it was a problem I was trying to solve to get over the hump to finally be together. I focused on the formalities and difficulties of the paperwork during a worldwide pandemic and didn't really look at the compatibility of myself and my partner. We straight up were not compatible in any way and me fighting for the paperwork (and then the disaster that is Moscow embassy closing and having to do CRAZY getting ducks in a row to get an interview) that took up so much of my time that I overlooked just how miserable I would have been when we finally got to live a married life together, the REAL ACTUAL relationship. No real shared life goals, interests, or wants. I then didn't file divorce sooner because I felt terrible about the war and his situation in Russia. It's not my fault or duty to "save" him , and its not yours either. So just heed my advice, please. 😀

I honestly could see him & his family pulling some kind of crazy request to get him an emergency US tourist visa to come to the US "and fight his ex wife who wronged him". Aint love grand.. but aint divorce a real pain...

I just never know what a court will decide... I know this is just a grab for money and a couple thousand may appease him and he will settle. I don't want to be stuck with my attorney fees, his attorney fees, and additional money to pay him on top of that. Even though I'm just a "rich American" in his eyes lol

Thank you Jeanne! So I was going to offer a couple thousand to settle as part of the divorce - I believe he just wants money in general. the other issue is that you cannot send ANY mail to Russia at the money. No USPS, DHL, fedex etc

thank you for your kind words ❤️ The ONLY thing I can see him claiming with any merit is him quitting his cruise ship contract 5 months early. At the time it was discussed if we had an interview he would go home early, we never had one and he quit anyway. Then went home and spent all the money he made lol. But it was just the contract, he is still rehireable by the company. I think his main objective is to get out of Russia by any means necessary. Can’t say I blame him but it won’t be at my expense. He even tried to blame me for “loss of his international tourist and work visas”. As if I’m wholly responsibly for a worldwide pandemic and closure of the Moscow embassy…. I know I have some responsibility in this and wanted this at one point. That point is no longer right now 😂 But I want to get out of this without draining my resources or ruining my life lol.

Never lived together and I never supported him day to day financially. I paid for our trips, our wedding, and our paperwork but nothing like rent or food etc. He has some US family - also immigrants- who I believe are somewhat behind the money grab. His mother also “fake married” a man back around 2006 to keep him and his brother in the US on a tourist visa. The marriage crumbled (obviously) and his brother turned 18 before that so he could stay but my former spouse was underage and had to go back to Russia. It was never reported as fake but he told me as such. Not really relevant I guess but gives more backstory.

Yes that was us. Unfortunately we were just not a good match, I did so much heavy lifting in our marriage from paying for all our trips, The paperwork etc. (I originally did k1 and cancelled 7 months in…) combine that with a worldwide pandemic, and a dumpster fire of the Russian war that wasn’t a good foundation for a marriage. I’m hopeful it will be decided an email will suffice as he has already communicated directly through my lawyer through email!! Wow! Also I was not going to offer anywhere near 25k. A couple months ago he left his cruise ship job (even though I did not want him to) to go home and prepare for the interview (that we didn’t have yet). He’s claiming the 25k is for “significant harm and loss” of his lost wages when in reality the lost wages are more around 5k. I was going to offer that as a start. My parents had a long drawn out alimony battle and I’m afraid of the court system at this point and what they may decide. thank you everyone for your help. This site has always been nothing but helpful and informative for me.

That’s a good question. My attorney said she was looking into how to handle it last week and I think asking the judge in my county as well? Perhaps publication could be allowed but again a real mess given the current situation. What I’m also not understand is if I do agree to send him any money how would he even get it? All transfer services and bank cards have been cut off. Can you pay alimony in crypto? 😂😂 Let this be a warning to those starting the process. Be absolutely sure this is what you want because it’s a mess to get out of

That is going to be the issue I believe- serving him. My attorney mentioned she believes he knows this and that is why he is asking for money, so we can settle and he gets something out of it since it will be so difficult to secure a process server in Russia

Hmm this is actually helpful thank you! I had wanted to just file uncontested and part ways amicably but he asked for 25k in order for him to sign. My attorney has advised me that it may be best to offer something to try to settle since it is near impossible to serve him papers in Russia at this moment.

He is in Russia still.

Hello! I have filed for divorce against my spouse in Russia and just want to move on with my life. I successful wrote the Warsaw embassy and cancelled the case before the interview was ever scheduled and got confirmation. However the I-864 I signed is only valid if he would have gotten his visa is that correct? He’s coming after me for money/ alimony and I hope he doesn’t try to collect that amount for 10 years in alimony.

Checking in and making sure everyone is doing okay. My process ended as we are divorcing. Was all just too much!! Happy many of you got your visas though!