Meeting Filipina - Need Help!

[Boiler 43,433]

There have been a few cases on VJ, certainly something that can be thrown into the mix.

[nykolos 711]

The biggest problem for me sending money is that I always doubted her love, "Does she love me for my money or for me?" 

 

I met a Filipina early last year who I thought was the one, I spent 3 weeks with her, she never asked for money, that came when I returned home, that's when she asked for a budget and I agreed, but the budget kept increasing, I'd send one day and the next day she was asking for her nieces birthday or her nephew's birthday, her doctors visit, pharmacy, travel expense,  etc..  I allowed it to spiral out of control,  I confronted her about how much I sent her in 1 month, and questioned her where the money was going, once she painted into a corner she told me she gives her brother money and that she's helping to pay for her parents new roof, I was furious and I ultimately ended the relationship because I couldn't trust her anymore. 

 

Many Filipina's feel a deep obligation to support their parents financially, its the culture they were raised in, I think it's one of the reasons why parents have so many children, the more children, the more they will help Mama and Papa in their later years, it's messed up IMO. 

 

Fortunately for me, my Fiance's who I met in January has a good job and she never once asked me for money,  I would offer from time to time but she always declined.. And she's always been consistent in our talks, so I have no reason to distrust her.. If we have a problem or concern, we discuss it openly and resolve it.. NO red flags in my head with her at all,  I would have never proposed if there was.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[user555 195]

On 2/21/2020 at 8:52 AM, Spheres said:

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So it's not possible for a beautiful woman to not have had many boyfriends or to be a virgin? Come on, seriously. 

Of course it's "possible", but for a nearly 30 year old and beautiful woman to have 1 partner isn't common -- at least in the States (unless they get married to that person)

I guess it depends on who you grow up around. If you have looser morals than someone with a more moral, traditional upbringing, then your expectations of others is based upon your own experiences. Yes, there are beautiful women who are virgins in their 20s and 30s in every country (and there are a much higher number who aren't either of those two). There could be many reasons based on personal choice, fear of disease, morals, religion, etc. The Philippines is not the most moral country in this regard because the latest data from the Philippines Statistical Authority shows that 52% of babies are born out of wedlock. However, they do not track promiscuity. Neither does the States. If you're surprised by her count, she may be surprised by yours. The main point is to spend some time with this lady to vet her. It may take 2 or more trips.   

[minions2 24]

I say its ok to give gifts on special occasions but don’t send money for household bills. They might expect it from you from then on even if you only gave it once. They are not your responsibility.  If u visit her, get to know her and her family, don't rush into marriage. Don't ever make them think you are rich by showering them lots of gifts. Believe it or not, My husband is my only sexual partner. I believe there are still some women who still reserve themselves for there husbands. 

[nykolos 711]

On 3/13/2020 at 3:20 PM, minions2 said:

Don't ever make them think you are rich by showering them lots of gifts. 

I would agree with this, but I think you can still give gifts IF you make it clear that you're not a rich person.. To the Filipina's I have met, I make it very clear that I am NOT a rich,  I explain the cost of living in California, that it takes 2 incomes for many people to live here,  I tell her I'm a middle income guy, but that I live comfortably.. I do shower my Fiancee with gifts when I come to see her, little things like sneakers, a pair of levi jeans and VS lingerie, nothing terribly expensive, just things that most Women would like to have and feel that she's appreciated.