Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do

[Steeleballz 7,550]

8 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

I chose the wording I did because I don't mince words. I never attacked or mentioned specific people. I also made it clear that I don't really care how people live their lives or meet their women, but I'm also not going to pretend that purchasing access to a woman on a website for the purpose of a tailor made wife is somehow a romantic or natural occurrence. Many people here have gone this route, and it seems that many of those marriages end happily, and I am happy for those couples. But also let us not forget that the many that fail (likely a majority, but I have no proof) you will never learn of because those people won't stick around VJ unless they're ready to click the purchase button once more time.

 

You think I'm being deliberately acerbic, whereas I think you and others are deliberately taking offense on behalf of nobody who asked you to.

 

     You can frame it anyway you want. Chances are if multiple people are calling you out on something, it's not them. It's you. Your attempts at rationalizing what you said does not make it anything different than what it was.

  

[laylalex 7,246]

17 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Curious as to how you were online dating. Tinder? match.com? Did you have to use a credit card?

 

Men are attracted to young women. And even if you put your requirements in your profile, many men believe the shot not taken always loses. But just as well that you didn't wind up with anyone, I certainly would be very wary of someone whom I'd only met online.

I was on OKCupid for about four months. (Tinder didn't exist yet, I think.) It was a free service. I didn't have any good matches at all. There was one guy who was 15 years older than me who I went on a date with out of curiosity, but he wanted a wife and mother of his children, and I was absolutely NOT ready for that. The rest I went out on dates with were closer in age but none were suitable for one reason or another. I ended up dating a guy for a couple of months that I'd met in person but he moved to Seattle. The biggest mistake I made was going on a date with a guy that was still married but recently (VERY recently) separated and not over his wife. I didn't know this when I agreed to meet up. 

 

How is your own wife hunt going these days?  

 

17 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Remind me via email, it's been awhile and I've completely lost the thread of the conversation.

I'll send you one later today -- I have a little time now but I'm sort of darting in and out of VJ this morning. 

Edited September 30, 2019 by laylalex

[Boris Farage 353]

8 minutes ago, Steeleballz said:

You can frame it anyway you want. Chances are if multiple people are calling you out on something, it's not them. It's you. Your attempts at rationalizing what you said does not make it anything different than what it was. 

Well then I suppose we're both rationalizing our own points of view. But I do want to point out that whenever I write something that some see as objectionable, it's always the same few people on the attack. It's only you and a few others who take offense on behalf of nobody who asked for your help. Everyone else reads, forms their own opinions, and move on, just like a forum is supposed to work. But if you and your gang of three want to continue to take offense whenever I express an opinion, please do so. I won't report you. I would never want you to feel like you can't express yourself.

 

8 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I ended up dating a guy for a couple of months that I'd met in person but he moved to Seattle. The biggest mistake I made was going on a date with a guy that was still married but recently (VERY recently) separated and not over his wife. I didn't know this when I agreed to meet up.

Did you know he was married when you agreed to see him? That would have been very poor judgment indeed. And even if you didn't know, it proves my point that there is a good chance the person you meet online is likely to be damaged goods at best, and dangerous at worst. It's for the same reason I don't recommend ride shares.

 

8 minutes ago, laylalex said:

How is your own wife hunt going these days?  

Hunt? Oh the lioness has been captured, or at least her heart has , but the situation remains delicate. I have learned much from my last "safari," enough to know to avoid the claws this time around.

[laylalex 7,246]

13 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Did you know he was married when you agreed to see him? That would have been very poor judgment indeed. And even if you didn't know, it proves my point that there is a good chance the person you meet online is likely to be damaged goods at best, and dangerous at worst. It's for the same reason I don't recommend ride shares.

No, I did not. I would never help another person cheat on their spouse or significant other.  But I can't say that meeting in person is a 100% surefire way to make sure your partner is NOT damaged goods or dangerous or just not suitable. I mean, look at me. We met in person and it still turned out to be a disaster. Same thing with my fiance's marriage that fell apart (though admittedly that was more his fault than hers). I have another pair of friends who knew each other from kindergarten who got married in their late 20s and it didn't work out (though they are sort of back together now). 

 

On the issue of rideshares, I have generally felt safer using them than using public transit, both here and in the LA area. I mean, when you're on a bus you have a whole vehicle full of crazy people (potentially) and no app you can report stuff on.

 

13 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Hunt? Oh the lioness has been captured, or at least her heart has , but the situation remains delicate. I have learned much from my last "safari," enough to know to avoid the claws this time around.

I have my reasons for finding the "hunt and capture" metaphor to be gross but I won't go into them here. Be careful with her heart, Boris. They are delicate things.

[Boris Farage 353]

6 minutes ago, laylalex said:

No, I did not. I would never help another person cheat on their spouse or significant other.  But I can't say that meeting in person is a 100% surefire way to make sure your partner is NOT damaged goods or dangerous or just not suitable. I mean, look at me. We met in person and it still turned out to be a disaster. Same thing with my fiance's marriage that fell apart (though admittedly that was more his fault than hers). I have another pair of friends who knew each other from kindergarten who got married in their late 20s and it didn't work out (though they are sort of back together now). 

 

On the issue of rideshares, I have generally felt safer using them than using public transit, both here and in the LA area. I mean, when you're on a bus you have a whole vehicle full of crazy people (potentially) and no app you can report stuff on.

Yes, public transport is foul. But at least in the case of somebody attacking you on a bus, there are other people who can potentially help. In a rideshare, you are literally captive to a possibly undocumented stranger, with little to no background checks.

 

6 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I have my reasons for finding the "hunt and capture" metaphor to be gross but I won't go into them here. Be careful with her heart, Boris. They are delicate things.

You're the one who brought up "hunt."

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,315]

When I was dating my wife, someone suggested that I could get a much younger wife than the one I got from the Philippines.  I was really looking for someone no younger than 5 years difference but ended up with one about 13. I was very hesitant about that.

 

There is just no way a woman 25 years younger than her husband is there for the right reasons. Not saying it isnt possible, just not probable. I think you would get bored with each other.

 

Having said that I know some couples with huge age difference that have been happily married for many years.

[laylalex 7,246]

6 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Yes, public transport is foul. But at least in the case of somebody attacking you on a bus, there are other people who can potentially help. In a rideshare, you are literally captive to a possibly undocumented stranger, with little to no background checks.

I highly doubt Uber and Lyft hire undocumented persons to drive. I agree on the background checks though. But who is to say that the people who could potentially save you on a bus aren't also undocumented? They certainly haven't passed background checks. When was the last time YOU took a bus or the Metro? I do (well, not the Metro, obviously, I'm not in LA) to be frugal with my money. If I took rideshares everywhere it would be a colossal waste of cash. I don't spend like a lunatic. And especially now that I have to pay for my own Netflix, every penny counts!  

 

6 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

You're the one who brought up "hunt."

Fine. It's the claws imagery that bothered me more. A woman doesn't need to be declawed to be a supportive partner. 

7 minutes ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

When I was dating my wife, someone suggested that I could get a much younger wife than the one I got from the Philippines.  I was really looking for someone no younger than 5 years difference but ended up with one about 13. I was very hesitant about that.

 

There is just no way a woman 25 years younger than her husband is there for the right reasons. Not saying it isnt possible, just not probable. I think you would get bored with each other.

 

Having said that I know some couples with huge age difference that have been happily married for many years.

❤️ All of this. Especially the getting bored.

[Boris Farage 353]

1 minute ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

When I was dating my wife, someone suggested that I could get a much younger wife than the one I got from the Philippines.  I was really looking for someone no younger than 5 years difference but ended up with one about 13. I was very hesitant about that.

 

There is just no way a woman 25 years younger than her husband is there for the right reasons. Not saying it isnt possible, just not probable. I think you would get bored with each other.

 

Having said that I know some couples with huge age difference that have been happily married for many years.

 

Quite right. Massive age difference probably means she wants to send your money back home, and probably chain migrate her family. And while I love a young, pretty girl as much as the next red-blooded male, I can't imagine the conversation in a twenty five year age gap would be anything but vapid. There are exceptions, as you point out, but probably not many.

 

In your case @Nature Boy 2.0, she's probably more intellectually mature than normal, because of course we boys never grow up. You have a keeper it sounds like.

[Boiler 43,428]

Uber certainly hire illegals, there was one case of an African War Lord who was found driving for them somewhere on the East Coast, he had done a runner from his crimes.

 

The nature of their business means they go through a lot of Drivers so need to recruit all the time and can not afford to be too choosy.

[Boris Farage 353]

2 minutes ago, laylalex said:

I highly doubt Uber and Lyft hire undocumented persons to drive. I agree on the background checks though. But who is to say that the people who could potentially save you on a bus aren't also undocumented? They certainly haven't passed background checks. When was the last time YOU took a bus or the Metro? I do (well, not the Metro, obviously, I'm not in LA) to be frugal with my money. If I took rideshares everywhere it would be a colossal waste of cash. I don't spend like a lunatic. And especially now that I have to pay for my own Netflix, every penny counts!

 

I suppose it's possible you could be attacked by a mob of illegals on public transportation. I haven't given it a lot of thought, but given the sheer numbers of illegals now in California alone, it's probably very possible. As my lawyer likes to say, "it's why we can't have nice things."

 

I have never taken public transport in LA. The tubes in London and NYC a few times, but only due to expediency. I would rather my trip take three times longer by car just to avoid the filth, but sometimes I just have to suck it up. Purell is your friend.

[beloved_dingo 1,932]

That article is kind of ridiculous, imo, and oversimplifies the complexities of finding a suitable partner down to one facet. Perhaps if the writer stuck to the contents of Cornell study so that we could further understand exactly how the study was conducted and what factors were analyzed, it would be more enlightening. Instead, it quotes an "expert" and then spends the rest of the article focusing on one woman's experience (and let's face it, her lack of finding an "economically suitable man" could be for A LOT of reasons other than "they are hard to find"). 

 

Does this situation happen? Yes, of course it does. But I seriously doubt the declining marriage rate has much to do with "men not working hard enough/not earning enough". Marriage is not the be-all end-all that it once was and more and more people are waiting until later in life to marry. Hell I'm a good example of that, since I got married this year at 33. My husband has an ingrained willingness and desire to work hard, and that's all I ask from my life-partner, not a specific earning capacity.

[laylalex 7,246]

4 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

 

I suppose it's possible you could be attacked by a mob of illegals on public transportation. I haven't given it a lot of thought, but given the sheer numbers of illegals now in California alone, it's probably very possible. As my lawyer likes to say, "it's why we can't have nice things."

 

I have never taken public transport in LA. The tubes in London and NYC a few times, but only due to expediency. I would rather my trip take three times longer by car just to avoid the filth, but sometimes I just have to suck it up. Purell is your friend.

I'm not saying it's likely or even possible. Most of the time nothing happens, even if people are acting like lunatics. That goes for most public transit I've gone on in this country -- in general I found the Tube and buses in London to be not necessarily cleaner, but less prone to having so many crazy people on them. The biggest risks there were from teenagers and drunks. (The only place I was ever a victim of frottage was on a Tube journey from Liverpool Street station to my ex's office near Moorgate and it was the morning commute and some drunk guy rubbed himself all over my backside because it was so crowded. Drunk at 9!)

[beloved_dingo 1,932]

1 hour ago, Boris Farage said:

Did you know he was married when you agreed to see him? That would have been very poor judgment indeed. And even if you didn't know, it proves my point that there is a good chance the person you meet online is likely to be damaged goods at best, and dangerous at worst. It's for the same reason I don't recommend ride shares.

I don't see how that proves a point at all? People cheat on their partners and lie about their relationship status all the time, regardless of whether online or in person. If anything, talking to someone online first gives you a chance to vet them and figure out if there are "deal-breakers" from the get-go, etc. Making connections online (romantic or platonic) gives the opportunity to connect with people that you'd never get the chance to meet in the real world otherwise (even in the same city). It's very limiting to only consider the people you meet by chance throughout your day as potential romantic partners or friends. 

 

Of course I have strong feelings about this, considering I'd never have fallen in love with my husband if I didn't consider people I met online to be worth connecting with. 

[Boiler 43,428]

Why did you get the Tube? Quicker to walk.

[laylalex 7,246]

Just now, Boiler said:

Why did you get the Tube? Quicker to walk.

Yes, I know now. When you're not familiar with London it can seem like it makes a lot of sense to take the Tube when the journey is actually very short and not worth it. He had told me to catch a cab from the station (I was coming in from Suffolk) and I thought it would be interesting and convenient to take the Tube. Not really as it turns out. 😕