Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do

[Boiler 43,434]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/sep/30/i-know-love-is-real-why-is-stunning-comic-nicole-byer-still-single

 

'I know love is real': why is stunning comic Nicole Byer still singleIn her Why Won’t You Date Me? podcast, the presenter and actor speaks with unusual candour about her search for a partner. She talks about racist algorithms, people’s fear of rejection – and the difficulties of dating in LA

This is shall we say interesting and I think I can tell her why but I doubt anybody in her situation would want to listen.

 

Edited September 30, 2019 by Boiler

[Boiler 43,434]

3 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Yes, I know now. When you're not familiar with London it can seem like it makes a lot of sense to take the Tube when the journey is actually very short and not worth it. He had told me to catch a cab from the station (I was coming in from Suffolk) and I thought it would be interesting and convenient to take the Tube. Not really as it turns out. 😕 

10 minutes max walk.

[laylalex 7,247]

13 minutes ago, Boiler said:

10 minutes max walk.

It's kind of moot now I have no reason to go to Moorgate!  I'll be back in the UK in about a week and a half, but I'm going straight from Gatwick to Crowborough by car (too many bags to handle to take a train). I won't be in London at all during this visit.

 

Edit: I meant to say that *I* won't be in London at all. He's going to be there for a week before I arrive.

Edited September 30, 2019 by laylalex
Accuracy.

[luckytxn 2,263]

58 minutes ago, Boiler said:

10 minutes max walk.

A few less buffets would help her find dates.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

4 hours ago, Boris Farage said:

I actually agree with much of what you have written here. And it's interesting, because if I had written it, I would be excoriated for it. How dare I attack the VJ people who are interested in a specific age group. You say you don't judge but you wouldn't have brought it up if you weren't. And how does one target a specific age group? They use a marriage broker of course. Punch in the credit card, let the "evidence of a relationship" begin.

Why are YOU on a pay-for-a-spouse website, pray tell?  What's in YOUR shopping cart right now?

[laylalex 7,247]

54 minutes ago, luckytxn said:

A few less buffets would help her find dates.

"Nailed It!" is one of my favorite shows on Netflix. I love Nicole Byer -- she's hilarious. Yes, it's no surprise that a larger woman would find it difficult to get men interested in her. That's unfortunately the truth -- straight men (see note below) are fixated on appearance and will dismiss women who don't conform to some Platonic ideal of what's attractive. Now, that's a massive generalization, and I know that, but a conventionally very attractive package will cover up a multitude of sins, at least for a while (case in point, my borderline-sociopathic sister who is like a caricature of a hot blonde but who is hands down the canniest, shrewdest, slipperiest so-and-so I know who isn’t my ex, and she's never without at least one man). And men get away with so much more in terms of NOT being conventionally attractive -- if you hear a woman say, oh, but his personality is what I love him for when she admits he's not attractive to her physically (to HER, not in general), she's not telling the truth completely. We're just conditioned to settle more frequently, like, oh, I won't get someone above my pay grade, so I'll stop here. It's ridiculous! A woman like that is just accepting her "fate" instead of trying for more.

 

Note: it's the same for gay men, it's just that I'm talking about women here, and it wouldn't make sense to include them in this discussion in this context.

5 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Why are YOU on a pay-for-a-spouse website, pray tell?  What's in YOUR shopping cart right now?

Boris is filing for a visa for his father. I asked him myself separately since I had missed this elsewhere because I was also curious! Apparently there's some woman back home he's been working on ensnaring.

Edited September 30, 2019 by laylalex
Apparently the word for a person born out of wedlock is not family friendly!!!!!

[Boiler 43,434]

Ensnaring sounds rather judgmental.

[laylalex 7,247]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

Ensnaring sounds rather judgmental.

Okay, maybe it's not that nice. How about "courting"? I imagine Boris is more the courtship type anyway, with those old-fashioned views on what women should and should not be like.  

[Steeleballz 7,550]

3 hours ago, Boris Farage said:

Well then I suppose we're both rationalizing our own points of view. But I do want to point out that whenever I write something that some see as objectionable, it's always the same few people on the attack. It's only you and a few others who take offense on behalf of nobody who asked for your help. Everyone else reads, forms their own opinions, and move on, just like a forum is supposed to work. But if you and your gang of three want to continue to take offense whenever I express an opinion, please do so. I won't report you. I would never want you to feel like you can't express yourself.

 

  My gang of 3?  

 

  You're a funny guy Boris. I appreciate your efforts.

[Boris Farage 353]

10 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

Why are YOU on a pay-for-a-spouse website, pray tell?  What's in YOUR shopping cart right now?

I confess, I'm here to find a much-too-young-for-me Ukrainian bride who doesn't just want me for my money. The credit card fees are really starting to add up.

 

6 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Boris is filing for a visa for his father. I asked him myself separately since I had missed this elsewhere because I was also curious! Apparently there's some woman back home he's been working on ensnaring.

Hmm, "ensnared" sounds like something I'd have been chastised for saying.

 

But yes, there is a certain someone. Just the timing needs worked out.

[Boris Farage 353]

4 minutes ago, Steeleballz said:

 

  My gang of 3?  

 

  You're a funny guy Boris. I appreciate your efforts.

As do I.

[laylalex 7,247]

4 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Hmm, "ensnared" sounds like something I'd have been chastised for saying.

 

But yes, there is a certain someone. Just the timing needs worked out.

I'm sorry!  I was trying to be funny and I guess it fell flat. A word of advice on timing -- don't wait too long if you are certain she's the one. Alex regrets being more definitive with me the three or so chances I gave him before I got married. We missed a lot of time because he was (in his words) "fannying about." 

[Boiler 43,434]

3 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Okay, maybe it's not that nice. How about "courting"? I imagine Boris is more the courtship type anyway, with those old-fashioned views on what women should and should not be like.  

Courting is fine, bit old fashioned but not something I have an issue with.

 

Coming back to the supposed focus of this thread I can not help think you actually acknowledge the issues, your replies have basically confirmed the general points. 

 

 

[laylalex 7,247]

Just now, Boiler said:

Courting is fine, bit old fashioned but not something I have an issue with.

 

Coming back to the supposed focus of this thread I can not help think you actually acknowledge the issues, your replies have basically confirmed the general points. 

 

 

To be honest, I've completely forgotten what this thread is about!  Oh yeah. Well, that article is about 75% NYC randos who are chalking up their lack of success to this one thing, when it could very well be something completely different. 

[Boris Farage 353]

1 minute ago, laylalex said:

Alex regrets being more definitive with me the three or so chances I gave him before I got married. We missed a lot of time because he was (in his words) "fannying about." 

 

 

But thank you for your advice.

 

I don't expect the wait to be much longer, but the situation is delicate at the moment. But soon.