It Might Be Time To Cut My Right-Wing, Trump-Loving In-Laws Out Of My Kids’ Lives

[Boiler 45,664]

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-cutting-off-relatives_n_5d448ed4e4b0ca604e31f5ba

 

It is a bit long and tedious and overly woke. 

 

She does not seem to realise that she is overly radical and her perception of her In Laws is coloured by her position. I can quite imagine her children in 20 years time having a similar issue about their out there mother. She makes it sound like her Husband is aware that she has issues and is caught in the middle, what can he, what does he do in such a situation. 

Edited August 7, 2019 by Boiler

[Dashinka 24,593]

Way to "Woke" for me, and certainly a writer that has a very high opinion of her own political views, but hey, if you cut out your in-laws due to the perceived bigotry, then does she not have to remove herself based on her own bigotry?

[yuna628 9,680]

7 minutes ago, Boiler said:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-cutting-off-relatives_n_5d448ed4e4b0ca604e31f5ba

 

It is a bit long and tedious and overly woke. 

 

She does not seem to realise that she is overly radical and her perception of her In Laws is coloured by her position. I can quite imagine her children in 20 years time having a similar issue about their out there mother. She makes it sound like her Husband is aware that she has issues and is caught in the middle, what can he, what does he do in such a situation. 

What does a husband do? Well hopefully support his wife. Hopefully he would tell his parents how he feels about what they say? But it all will depend on if he agrees that their behavior is inappropriate or not. As I've said before, my grandfather was racist and my grandmother was a heavy smoker that would not respect simple requests such as not smoking around my Mom's babies. So what did Mom do? She cut them out of their lives. They were no longer allowed over to the house. Dad still loved his parents of course, and she didn't disallow us from seeing them, but we never saw them at our house ever again. I didn't miss anything by my Mom setting those boundaries. We understood the racism was wrong and by observing it, I learned not to be that kind of person. Watching my grandmother die from smoking also convinced me that it was a pretty ridiculous way of harming yourself and others. My Dad never had the courage to stand up and tell his father that his behavior was wrong, I wish he had. That burden was on Mom's shoulders, and she did what she thought was right.

 

I don't agree with my own parents politically or religiously. I'll choose carefully when to correct or remind or redirect improper conversations. Try to make conversations teachable moments, where you can illuminate or educate in a supportive way. It may not change a mind but it's a dialogue.

[Boiler 45,664]

Should the Husband also tell his Wife what he feels about some of her ideas? That seems likely to not end very well.

 

The Wife obviously also has issues, and I am not confident she would be open to teachable moments.

[yuna628 9,680]

8 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Should the Husband also tell his Wife what he feels about some of her ideas? That seems likely to not end very well.

 

The Wife obviously also has issues, and I am not confident she would be open to teachable moments.

Yes if he disagrees with her. By reading the article, it implies that he does agree with her, he just lacks the courage to discuss how he feels with his parents. Everyone should be open to teachable moments. They may not be able to sway anything, but a son discussing with his parents why what they say is upsetting is more meaningful than the wife's distress.

 

I can not imagine that any of the men on this forum would tolerate disrespect or flagrant racism toward their wives, even by their parents. If they do, that's their prerogative I guess. But we do get threads on VJ from time to time of wives and husbands unsure of what to do when they encounter wrong behavior toward their spouses, and asking how to handle it.

Edited August 7, 2019 by yuna628

[Boiler 45,664]

7 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

Yes if he disagrees with her. By reading the article, it implies that he does agree with her, he just lacks the courage to discuss how he feels with his parents. Everyone should be open to teachable moments. They may not be able to sway anything, but a son discussing with his parents why what they say is upsetting is more meaningful than the wife's distress.

 

I can not imagine that any of the men on this forum would tolerate disrespect or flagrant racism toward their wives, even by their parents. If they do, that's their prerogative I guess. But we do get threads on VJ from time to time of wives and husbands unsure of what to do when they encounter wrong behavior toward their spouses, and asking how to handle it.

You are picking certain aspects and seeing them through the prism of the person writing the article. Looking at the totality it certainly shouts to me that she has issues and they way she describes her Husbands actions he is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[Dashinka 24,593]

22 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

Yes if he disagrees with her. By reading the article, it implies that he does agree with her, he just lacks the courage to discuss how he feels with his parents. Everyone should be open to teachable moments. They may not be able to sway anything, but a son discussing with his parents why what they say is upsetting is more meaningful than the wife's distress.

 

I can not imagine that any of the men on this forum would tolerate disrespect or flagrant racism toward their wives, even by their parents. If they do, that's their prerogative I guess. But we do get threads on VJ from time to time of wives and husbands unsure of what to do when they encounter wrong behavior toward their spouses, and asking how to handle it.

Hmm, I did not get that take, but in the end it is just speculation as we are only getting the words of one very "woke" person.

[Dashinka 24,593]

15 minutes ago, Boiler said:

You are picking certain aspects and seeing them through the prism of the person writing the article. Looking at the totality it certainly shouts to me that she has issues and they way she describes her Husbands actions he is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Hmm, maybe a future headline of a husband snapping from the stress?

[yuna628 9,680]

22 minutes ago, Boiler said:

You are picking certain aspects and seeing them through the prism of the person writing the article. Looking at the totality it certainly shouts to me that she has issues and they way she describes her Husbands actions he is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

What prism are you seeing the article through? In the end, it's just an article. We don't know if it's true or false, and we can only really see it through the eyes of the writer, or what the writer wants us to see.

 

I see the atypical Huffpo article, and a wife that wants to cut off a relationship with the inlaws because they have caused her offense. It also sounds like they cause her husband offense, but he doesn't know how to address this with them. She also doesn't know how to address their behavior with their kids. To me it sounds like this whole thing could be about lots of things a couple butts heads with their inlaws about. Husband and wife need to make a united decision. That's all. It will naturally put any husband in a difficult spot of wrangling what to do or how to tell his parents.

 

But he did marry her and choose to have a family and knew how his parents are. He did not marry his parents. He has a voice that can speak to both his wife and his parents. That's also kind of the way my own mom saw things. She grounded her own decision from a biblical perspective, and would have had no problem doing the same thing if she encountered it with her own parents.

Edited August 7, 2019 by yuna628

[Ban Hammer 13,403]

i'm sure this article will make matters better with her inlaws.

[Dashinka 24,593]

21 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

What prism are you seeing the article through? In the end, it's just an article. We don't know if it's true or false, and we can only really see it through the eyes of the writer, or what the writer wants us to see.

 

I see the atypical Huffpo article, and a wife that wants to cut off a relationship with the inlaws because they have caused her offense. It also sounds like they cause her husband offense, but he doesn't know how to address this with them. She also doesn't know how to address their behavior with their kids. To me it sounds like this whole thing could be about lots of things a couple butts heads with their inlaws about. Husband and wife need to make a united decision. That's all. It will naturally put any husband in a difficult spot of wrangling what to do or how to tell his parents.

 

But he did marry her and choose to have a family and knew how his parents are. He did not marry his parents. He has a voice that can speak to both his wife and his parents. That's also kind of the way my own mom saw things. She grounded her own decision from a biblical perspective, and would have had no problem doing the same thing if she encountered it with her own parents.

A lot of folks do that and then add divorce to the list.

[Dashinka 24,593]

4 minutes ago, Ban Hammer said:

i'm sure this article will make matters better with her inlaws.

I think this author was more into making sure her Uptown/Downtown crowd were happy with her.

[cyclone27 710]

Well there was a time period when one could agree to disagree, but it seems times have changed. Now its if you don’t follow my liberal view point then you are bad/evil.  

 

I find the lady who wrote the article more intolerant than her inlaws.

[Boiler 45,664]

Makes me wonder if he is thinking about the ####### he has to put up with from her Parents?

[yuna628 9,680]

32 minutes ago, Bill & Katya said:

A lot of folks do that and then add divorce to the list.

 

15 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Makes me wonder if he is thinking about the ####### he has to put up with from her Parents?

Both of this is projection. There is nothing in the article that otherwise implies that.

 

Tell me, how would both of you approach this subject. Let us imagine your inlaws were offending you and behaving in ways around your kids you didn't approve of. What would YOU do?

 

37 minutes ago, Ban Hammer said:

i'm sure this article will make matters better with her inlaws.

Haha. I'm sure.