I-751: How to Emotionally Prepare?

[SAK214 21]

Topic: How can I prepare I-751 well, both physically and emotionally while my active duty husband (USC) is deployed?

 

Hello! I'm looking for any tip, as well as emotional supports for my overwhelming anxiety about filing I-751.

My I-485 was approved on Jan 8, 2018, and my Green Card expires in Jan 8, 2020. I will file I-751 in October 2019 (I hope I'm correct).

The reason I'm posting here is because I struggle with severe anxiety disorder, and filing for I-485 while having panic attacks everyday was a pure nightmare. 

Now that I have to file I-751 this year, my anxiety is already getting really bad. I already know what kind of evidence we need, since I did all the research when I filed I-485 (joint lease agreement, insurance policies, joint bank account, etc.). Most of these evidence must to be up to date, so I can't prepare the paperwork until when it's closer to the filing date. I'm trying to think of what I could still prepare right now.

So far I've come up with: making a credit card for me under my husband's name (we've been talking about making my credit card for a while already), start typing out the cover letter, and reading other people's posts who are already filing I-751. What else can I do to prepare for it?

 

My other concern is my military husband is deployed overseas and won't come back at least until October 2019. We will try to write to each other as much as possible...But I'm worried that we might not have enough bona fide marriage evidence because we will be apart for months (I know USCIS has understanding about the unique situations of military families...but I'm still scared). 

Basically I'm terrified and overly worried about the overall process. I know I have to be an adult and take responsibility and do what I need to do and all that...I've told myself that over and over. And yet my anxiety is so bad and I'm just so worried that our case might not be approved. So...please give me words of encouragement or your experience with the filing. Thank you so much. 

 

[Roel 7,191]

There is absolutely NOTHING to be stress about. People make it sound like ROC is some extremely serious process but it really is not... 

 

1. You have all evidences. So why worry? Make sure to attach copies of your and your husband military ID. Also attach copies of his deployment orders. 

 

2. All you have to do is fill the simple form, put everything in one envelope and send it out. That's it. That's not a stress. You have your green card, you will have an extension letter - you're fine. You can work and travel as you please. 

 

3. Just file and forget about. It's a long process so bet thing to do is just forget. Maybe check the online status once a month. That's it. 

 

4. Deployments are hard but that's why you gotta be stronger for yourself and your husband. You dont want him to worry about you on top of worrying about his job. Best advice - stay BUSY! Work, school, volunteering, get a pet (that really helps!). It will be over before you know it. (Army spouse here) 

 

5. There is no shame in talking to the therapist. Make an appointment with your post mental health provider and tall about your anxiety! 

Edited May 8, 2019 by Roel

[SAK214 21]

3 minutes ago, Roel said:

There is absolutely NOTHING to be stress about. People make it sound like ROC is some extremely serious process but it really is not... 

 

1. You have all evidences. So why worry? Make sure to attach copies of your and your husband military ID. Also attach copies of his deployment orders. 

 

2. All you have to do is fill the simple form, put everything in one envelope and send it out. That's it. That's not a stress. You have your green card, you will have an extension letter - you're fine. You can work and travel as you please. 

 

3. Just file and forget about. It's a long process so bet thing to do is just forget. Maybe check the online status once a month. That's it. 

 

4. Deployments are hard but that's why you gotta be stronger for yourself and your husband. You dont want him to worry about you on top of worrying about his job. Best advice - stay BUSY! Work, school, volunteering, get a pet (that really helps!). It will be over before you know it. (Army spouse here) 

Thank you! In my head I know that there shouldn't be any problem, but my anxiety tells me otherwise😭 But I will try to stick to the fact, rather than listening to my anxiety telling me that I will fail...This is his first deployment after we married, so it hasn't been easy but I'm managing. He's been very busy with work so I'm trying not to worry him too much. He's more optimistic and thinks that's it's going to be just fine, so really I'm the only one worried about this situation😭

[Eva_AJ 80]

Hi  start with breathing in and out. Everything is going to be alright. You have already gone through this once, you will be able to do it again!!!

 

The evidence you mentioned (joint lease agreement, insurance policies, joint bank account, etc.) are the exact one that USCIS wants to see. Everything else would be secondary evidence but those legal papers are the best one you can provide.

 

USCIS understands the military spouses and there are a lot of people that have to go through this on their own when their active duty spouses are on deplyoment. You should have your own miltary ID, bring copy of your husband's and his orders. 

 

I sometimes get anxiety attacks and I completely understand it is not easy. You just need to feel like you are as prepare as you can be and it seems you are doing very good job at it!

 

Btw credit cards: It would be good if your husband puts you under one of his own (or the one he pays bills with) as it is good for your credit score to have your name on it. As well for you to get your own so you can build your credit score.

[Eva_AJ 80]

BTW I am waiting for my K1 at this moment, but my fiance (future husband) will be actually deploying around 2 months after I get to USA (hopefully if I get the visa). So trust me, I had one huge anxiety attack when I found out. And it is okay to be stressed, you can't just let it take control over  your life. As mentioned above me, just keep yourself busy!

 

Us military spouses neeed to stick together, right?  

[Roel 7,191]

Deployments are not as hard as people/media make them sound like. 

 

All you gotta do is go on with your life, work, focus on yourself. 

[SAK214 21]

2 minutes ago, Eva_AJ said:

Hi  start with breathing in and out. Everything is going to be alright. You have already gone through this once, you will be able to do it again!!!

 

The evidence you mentioned (joint lease agreement, insurance policies, joint bank account, etc.) are the exact one that USCIS wants to see. Everything else would be secondary evidence but those legal papers are the best one you can provide.

 

USCIS understands the military spouses and there are a lot of people that have to go through this on their own when their active duty spouses are on deplyoment. You should have your own miltary ID, bring copy of your husband's and his orders. 

 

I sometimes get anxiety attacks and I completely understand it is not easy. You just need to feel like you are as prepare as you can be and it seems you are doing very good job at it!

 

Btw credit cards: It would be good if your husband puts you under one of his own (or the one he pays bills with) as it is good for your credit score to have your name on it. As well for you to get your own so you can build your credit score.

Thank you😢😢 Hopefully it'll be easier this time, since I did most of the research when I submitted I-485...Also I will make sure to bring my military ID and his order. I will talk to my husband about the credit card, thank you so much.

[SAK214 21]

3 minutes ago, Eva_AJ said:

BTW I am waiting for my K1 at this moment, but my fiance (future husband) will be actually deploying around 2 months after I get to USA (hopefully if I get the visa). So trust me, I had one huge anxiety attack when I found out. And it is okay to be stressed, you can't just let it take control over  your life. As mentioned above me, just keep yourself busy!

 

Us military spouses neeed to stick together, right?  

Good luck with your K-1! That must be really hard for you and your fiance. It's really nice to talk to other military spouses. Thank you, I will try to stay busy and believe that it's going to be fine!😭😭

[SAK214 21]

5 minutes ago, Roel said:

Deployments are not as hard as people/media make them sound like. 

 

All you gotta do is go on with your life, work, focus on yourself. 

About a week before he left, I read all the mil wife blogs about how "terrible" and "lonely" deployments are and it made me cry in panic.😂

I mean it's hard, but when I applied for the conditional Green Card I did most of the research and collected most paperwork all by myself (my husband only did what I asked him), so I think I will be fine...??

[Roel 7,191]

4 minutes ago, SAK214 said:

About a week before he left, I read all the mil wife blogs about how "terrible" and "lonely" deployments are and it made me cry in panic.😂

I mean it's hard, but when I applied for the conditional Green Card I did most of the research and collected most paperwork all by myself (my husband only did what I asked him), so I think I will be fine...??

You'll be fine. 

 

My opinion- stay the hell away from military spouses blogs/website/ Facebook groups. There are few good ones out there but most are just drama and entitled spouses whining about everything. 

[AnneA 72]

You'll be fine. You're much stronger than you realise. You've already made it through K1 and AOS !! 

 

Don't let your anxiety make the decisions in your life. I know it's not easy but look back at all the fantastic things you have accomplished even though it was hard. Maybe sometimes you don't get the result you hoped for but you learned something and that is always a good thing.

 

Focus on the good things like; you already know what to do, you've done all the research and you can be proud of yourself for that. Put everything in a box marked 'do not open until October' 😉 and live your life. And if anxiety shows its ugly head tell it to get lost in very bad words if you need.

 

Good luck 😊

[SAK214 21]

6 minutes ago, AnneA said:

You'll be fine. You're much stronger than you realise. You've already made it through K1 and AOS !! 

 

Don't let your anxiety make the decisions in your life. I know it's not easy but look back at all the fantastic things you have accomplished even though it was hard. Maybe sometimes you don't get the result you hoped for but you learned something and that is always a good thing.

 

Focus on the good things like; you already know what to do, you've done all the research and you can be proud of yourself for that. Put everything in a box marked 'do not open until October' 😉 and live your life. And if anxiety shows its ugly head tell it to get lost in very bad words if you need.

 

Good luck 😊

Thank you so much...I didn't get K1 visa (I came to the US as an F-1 student and met my husband here), but going through AOS alone was enough nightmare to me😭 But I'm starting to feel so so so much better after talking to you guys. If I was able to go through AOS, then ROC should be easier (right?😭)! I'm still scared, but I think I can do this...thank you😭😭♥️

[AnneA 72]

I know you can do this 👍👍... sorry for assuming K1 😊

[afrocraft 313]

The dirty little secret about I-751 is that it's so easy to get approval that USCIS has stopped doing most interviews and approve most petitions based on the paper record. So if you know what they want, you're 80% there. Click on the arrow below to see, in a single post!, a framework for the categories of evidence they require and examples of each. Then just diligently assemble them over time from marriage to the time you apply. You've got this!

 

[SAK214 21]

5 hours ago, AnneA said:

I know you can do this 👍👍... sorry for assuming K1 😊

It’s nothing to apologize about! I know most people started from applying for K1😊❤️